All Honesty
by SS Dispatch
Summary: When Draco Malfoy catches Harry Potter wandering the halls after hours in their fifth year, he is eager to bring him to Umbridge. But he decides to be merciful and give Harry a pardon, on one condition. This simple act changes the course of their lives in ways they never could have guessed. (Lemon!) [Currently revising] Sequel: Legacies and Legends.
1. Draco's Luck

February 1995

I probably should not have taken so much pride in the badge on my chest, but it was nice to be valued for once. The school never did appreciate me as much as it should have, especially not with that foolish Dumbledore ambling about. But with Umbridge as headmistress, I was finally getting the respect and admiration I deserved as a Malfoy. The badge gave me a number of benefits, but my personal favorite was that it meant that I could be in the halls whenever I wanted without getting in trouble, no matter how late it was. This was technically because I was supposed to patrol the corridors for good-for-nothing Gryffindors, but I used it as an excuse to wander when I had insomnia. I've always had a hard time sleeping. Usually when I close my eyes all I dream about is my father telling me how disappointed he is in me for whatever preposterous dream thing I've done. Sometimes it wasn't even anything specific. So I liked to avoid sleeping as much as possible. Before the Inquisitorial Squad, I simply paced around the Slytherin common rooms and talked to whatever restless souls were up at that hour.

But with the new administration I could pace the halls and explore new areas of the castle. I had managed to get lost only a few times over the past few months. It was on a night in February, that I wandered down into the basements of the castle. Some of the windows were impossible to see out of because they were coated in snow from the most recent storm. I was walking down the corridor when I heard a door slam not far away. I jumped in surprise and heard footsteps getting louder and louder. I instinctively wanted to avoid company, but I remembered that this was an opportunity to get another student in trouble. So instead of fleeing, I charged down the corridor. As I was approaching the corner, the student in question flew around the bend and collided into me.

"Watch where you're going!" I shouted angrily. I just barely caught my balance and stood back up to see none other than Harry Potter standing in front of me. "Potter? Oh," I sneered with a grin, "You're going to get it for being out in the corridors after hours"

"Oh shove off, Malfoy," Harry retaliated. He was clearly agitated.

"I'm taking you straight to Umbridge for this. Not only were you out in the corridors after hours, but you insulted a member of the Inquisitorial Squad. _And_ you shot a hex at him!" I smiled wickedly, eager to get some revenge on him after he and the Weasley twin attacked me in a Quidditch game a few months ago. I reached out to grab his arm, but he yanked it back out of my grip.

"Don't you dare lay a hand on me. I have permission to be down here. Just ask Snape."

"I don't care, Potter." I sneered. I stepped closer to him to intimidate him. "Permission or not, I'm going to get back at you for what you did to me."

"Oh boohoo, Malfoy. Your life is so fucking hard."

I smirked, " _Tsk tsk tsk_ , foul language isn't going to help your case."

"You're _not_ taking me up to Umbridge," Harry insisted, trying to move past me "Get out of my face. Save yourself the embarrassment and get out of here."

"Make me," I sneered, blocking his path again, "Try and make me go away. No matter how hard you try, you are not going to be able to get me out of your hair."

"What's your problem? Why can't you ever let anything go?"

"I'm not the one that started this little spat, Potter." I said, shoving him out of instinct. We were just inches apart and it felt like the only way to threaten him.

"Take the high road then and be the one to end it," He shoved me right back, despite his words of peace and ending the conflict.

"Fine. I'll end it right here and now."

"Yeah right, go ahead and try me," Harry taunted, sneering at me.

I don't know what drove me to do it. I don't believe I was actually thinking. Instead of starting a full on brawl, magic or otherwise, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pulled him close to me, and kissed him hard. Our mouths crashed together uncomfortably. He was understandably shocked and pulled away almost instantly, but he still lingered long enough to absorb what had happened.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" He said angrily, although he had lowered his voice to a hush.

I had no idea myself, so I simply shrugged.

He looked at me as if I had just grown three heads, "You're insane."

"And you liked it, and I'm still going to report you," I smirked and started to walk away down the corridor.

"You're such an insufferable brat, you know that?" Potter snarled as he followed me.

"If that's the case, why are you following me?"

"Because I'm not going to let you report me to that psychopath again."

"If you don't want me to report you, all you have to do is kiss me."

"You're supposed to hate me, why do you want me to do that?"

I shrugged, practically skipping up the steps,"Because it's fun to torture and embarrass you by making you do things you hate."

Potter still stayed close behind. Before I could head up the main stairs, he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to face him. "I'll do it, but not here."

"I don't care where, " I reasoned.

Harry didn't say anything to this, he just let go of my arm and gestured for me to follow him. He quietly wandered down another hall and lead us into an empty classroom. He shut the door behind me and cast a few charms under his breath, "I wouldn't be caught dead kissing you, much less alive and rational. You're never to speak of this to anyone. Ever. Understand?"

"Don't worry. I can't blow my cover either. I'll never breathe a word so long as you don't."

"Right then," He said, sighing as he realized that he would actually have to do it now. "Any other stipulations you'd like to make before hand?"

I shrugged and leaned against the wall behind me, "No. Just act like you mean it."

"Okay…" Harry said as he took a few awkward steps closer.

He didn't seem to know what to do with himself. It would have been comical if it wasn't so sad, "Get on with it then, I'm waiting."

Harry finally got within a foot of me, and I couldn't help but notice he compulsively licked his lips. He abruptly weaved forward and kissed me. He remained there for a second before pulling back. He overcompensated and shifted a few paces back again, "There, happy?"

"Are you kidding? You call that acting like you mean it?"

"Well apologies, _your highness_ , if I'm struggling with this. Like you can do any better than that. The kiss in the corridor was terrible and you know it."

"Yeah? I bet can kiss you better than you just kissed me."

"Try me."

I reached out for his hand and gently reeled him back into me. He was a few inches shorter than me, which was to my advantage. I brushed his shaggy hair out of his eyes and caught the look in them. The expression of confusion was evident, the fear behind it less noticeable. I let my fingertips graze down the side of his face. I leaned in, shutting my eyes halfway. My lips were parted, but I only let them graze his mouth at first. I finally pressed our lips together as gently as I could muster. As much as I wanted to ravage him, I resisted to prove a point, that I was better than him at this. My hand rested lightly on his neck as we kissed. He didn't pull away, and neither did I. Not right away anyway. Our mouths moved together easily, and I let it last several moments before I finally pulled away from him. I took a slow step back, but the gap between us was still significantly smaller than it had been.

He seemed to instinctively touch his fingers to his lips, as if checking to see if they were still there and that it had actually happened.

"Okay, you got me on that one. You're better at faking enjoyment than I am," He said.

"Now, your turn."

"But I already did what you asked."

"You know damn well you didn't. I said, 'kiss me like you mean it'. All I did was model what that ought to look like," I said with a shrug.

"Fine," Harry rolled his eyes. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes, seeming to steel himself for it. When his eyes opened again, there was something unrecognizable in them. He came back to me, moving faster than I had expected. He caught me off guard with the kiss. The first time had been a very obvious attempt to make it fast. This was something different. His lips were firm against mine, aggressive but not attacking. His hand on my waist pulled me so close that our bodies pressed together. He even went so far as to bite my bottom lip before our lips separated. He didn't pull away from me like the first time. We remained there, pressed together, exchanging a curious look. Harry had certainly taken me by surprise. It had not been what I expected, it was far more — lustful than I had expected it to be. Was it acting or something else?

"Is that good enough for you?" He didn't need to speak above a whisper, because we were still so close together.

My mouth curved in a smirk for half a second, "Yes. But was it enough for you?"

"Shut up," He said coldly, suddenly letting me go and starting to move away from me again. "So we're agreed, no fessing to Umbridge?" He confirmed as he walked back a few steps, still keeping eye contact with me.

My shoulders fell and I sighed, "Yeah. I won't."

"Good," Harry turned away and headed back for the door.

"Harry, wait," I said, the words slipping out before I could stop myself.

More surprisingly, he actually stopped in his steps and glanced over his shoulder at me.

I opened my mouth but couldn't think of what to say, so I shut it again. Harry watched me expectantly, raising a brow. I swallowed hard, glancing away from him nervously, "It's still late, if you sneak out there you're going to get caught by someone else. And they're not going to let you get off free like I did."

"I think I can manage for myself, thanks." He started turning away again.

"No, no. You're better off staying here."

"Why?" He asked, turning around to completely face me again. We were standing quite far apart now, and the distance was driving me crazy. "Don't tell me that Draco Malfoy, of all people, cannot bear to let me go." He took one step closer. Just one.

I swallowed again, "I don't know what you mean by that."

Another step, "Oh, I think you do. Say it, Malfoy."

I couldn't help but stumble a few steps forward as well, "I — I want it."

"Want what? Be specific," Harry was egging me on, but I couldn't figure out why.

"Merlin's beard," I muttered angrily. "I want more. I want you." We were only an arm's length apart again. I gave up any attempts to pretend that this was an act anymore. I stepped closer to him, "So tell me, Harry, what do you want?"

"You want me to be honest?"

"Yes." The gap had been closed again. We were face to face, like we always had been, squared off to fight each other.

"I want to blow off some steam."

I smiled at my luck, "Well, I think that can be arranged." In a split second we were at it again. Rather than one of us taking it and the other giving, we were going back and forth. He'd bite my lip, I'd bite his.

He shoved me up against the wall of the classroom, forcing a moan out of me. This seemed to entertain him as he smirked against my lips. Our hands kept us linked together, but I ventured to slip mine under the back of his faded blue shirt. He didn't seem to have any problem at this, didn't make any notice of it. That is, until I dragged my nails down his spine, probably harder than I needed to. I had wanted to mark him, blemish him, give him just one more scar to bother him for awhile. I didn't want him to forget this. Judging by the way his back arched, he seemed to embrace it. Our hips had pressed together, and I couldn't help but notice that we were both getting aroused. He undid the single button that kept my robe on and let it fall to the floor. I shoved him away from me long enough to peel my sweater off over my head. Our gasps for air were incredibly audible, and I hoped that one of the spells he had cast on the room had been a silencing charm. I stripped off his shirt, he unbuttoned mine. My tie was loosened and fell to the floor with my shirt.

Our bodies had separated in this process, and he took a minute to look my half naked body over with a cocked brow.

"Surprised?" I asked.

"A bit, I just always assumed you were … not the athlete you pretend to be," He admitted without the tone of disdain he normally had around me.

I smirked, "No, I actually bother to stay fit."

"Yeah right, you probably just like staring at yourself in the mirror."

I shrugged again, "Can't say you're wrong."

This brought a smile out of him, and it was almost shocking to see. It was a genuine smile of amusement. It was something I rarely if ever saw from him, unless it was from across the Great Hall where he was laughing with Ron or the mudblood. His smile slowly faded and he let his hand run down across my chest, a curious expression on his face.

"You've never touched another man, have you?" I asked gently.

"Of course not," He said simply. "Are you trying to suggest you have?"

"Here and there," I admitted, not willing to confess any names. We were still sworn enemies, and I didn't need to give him any more ammunition against me than he was already getting. "If you want to know what it's really like, you're going to have to go lower."

Harry glanced up at me when I spoke, evidently worried.

"Don't act like you aren't dying to know what it feels like. Go on, give it a go," I smiled, leaning back against the cool wall once more, my hips pushed out slightly toward him. His hand hesitated just above my navel. He was sweating now, looking terrified but excited at the same time.

"Scared, Potter?" I whispered tauntingly.

He glared up at me. I had gotten under his skin that time. The anger in his face somehow only made him sexier. "You wish," He let the words drip from his lips just as he popped the button on my slacks.

The zipper came down slower than I thought was physically possible. The son of a bitch was taunting me. His hand grazed indirectly over my underwear.

"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" He asked, keeping direct eye contact with me.

The look alone was almost too much to bare. My throat tightened and I couldn't remember how to speak. I nodded. As soon as I did, he pulled his hand away. He never could do what he was asked. Instead, he slowly took my slacks down to the floor, following them down himself until he was on his knees in front of me. He never took his eyes off me. I hated him so much for making me the weak one. He slowly tugged at my boxers, pulling at the back and exposing my rear first. He seemed to be taking his sweet time at revealing the last unseen part of my body.

"So, Malfoy, just how desperate are you?"

"Fuck you."

"Maybe later. For now I'd rather just mess with you," He teased, finally removing my underwear as he uttered the last syllable. He smiled wistfully as he glanced up at me, "Aww, you really do want it, huh?"

It took a lot of willpower to not hit him in that moment. Harry snickered as he licked the palm of his hand and took hold of me. Just the knowledge that my enemy had his hand around my cock was enough to arouse me, but the actual sensation of it just pushed me further. I had a bad feeling that this was not going to last very long. He rubbed his thumb over the head and my muscles stiffened. I could not bare to look at him any longer and tilted my head up, staring at the ceiling. I worried, momentarily, that he was going to get mad at me for this, but he didn't seem to care. He slowly ran his hand in a familiar rhythm. I couldn't help but think how many times he had gone through these motions with himself. That was the only reason he had any idea what he was doing, and I knew it. That was why he hesitated to do anything else.

Indeed, he did not dare to touch his tongue to my bare flesh, though he did certainly seem to be enjoying himself no matter how much he may have denied it. I ran a hand down into his hair and had the impulse to force his mouth onto me, but I decided against it. I would let myself be weak to him just this once. Just as I was mentally promising myself that I was going to be sure to give him twice as much hell from here on out, I was startled by his tightened grip on me. In a matter of seconds I was groaning and coming onto his hand.

He let go and I caught my breath. I heard him murmur a spell under his breath and looked down to see he had cleaned the mess off his hand immediately. Couldn't say I blamed him. My skin was on fire, my breaths were bated at best, and my muscles were trembling slightly.

He stood and we stared each other down for what felt like the millionth time that night. I stood before him naked, exposed, unsure of what to do or say. He leaned in and kissed me one more time. It was salty, but I wasn't sure why. It was brief, gentle. I let my hand touch his chest for the first time. He was not nearly as toned as I was, but it was still something to be admired. He rested his hand on the one I had against his chest and pulled it down to his belted jeans. I didn't need to be told what to do, I knew what he was insinuating with his touch. In a matter of seconds, his clothes were removed from him and we stood stark naked together as we snogged.

I gripped him tightly in my hand and was delighted at the sound this provoked from him. I had longed for this for some time now. For years all I had wanted was to befriend him, but it became increasingly obvious that it would never work out that way. When I had first discovered my own truth, that I craved him as far more than a friend, it had upset me horribly. I had turned to another man to try and dissuade myself from Harry. I convinced myself it was just lust for a man in general, not a yearning for Harry himself. But I still wanted him afterwards. No matter how many times I got off (with myself or others), I still wanted to feel his body and kiss his lips. Why I had impulsively kissed him on this particular night, I'm still not sure. All I could think about in the moment was to get "the chosen one" to orgasm.

I pulled our mouths apart and let go of him. He briefly looked like he was going to kill me for not finishing the job, but this look vanished pretty quickly when I knelt in front of him. A coy smile curved my lips up as I held his cock in my hand and kissed the tip innocently. He leaned back against a desk just behind him, his hands gripping the edge tight. Unlike him, I actually knew what to do to drive him insane. I dragged the tip of my tongue down his shaft, tracing a vein. He groaned and when I glanced up I noticed he had thrown his head back as well. I let my fingertips caress the shaft as I wrapped my mouth around the head of his cock. Harry let out a faint whimper. I kept my gaze up toward him as I lowered my mouth down along him, bobbing my head in a steady rhythm. His hand weaved its way through my hair as I massaged him with my tongue. I picked up pace, ignoring the growing ache in my jaw. Ever the kind one, he felt the need to mutter that he was close. I ignored it. He tried to speak again, but was cut off by his own cry of pleasure as he orgasmed. I didn't mind him cumming into my mouth. I had enough practice to be accustomed to the salty afterwards. I slowly slid my mouth off of him and swallowed. I glanced up at him, but his head was still tipped back as his chest heaved.

I slowly stood to my feet in front of him. He finally opened his eyes and looked my way. I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to kiss him. Hold his hand. Sneak into one of our common rooms and curl up together. But that was a boy's pipe dream. Harry seemed to finally realize what had happened. He sighed softly and reached for his clothes. I did the same. For a few painful heartbeats we were quiet.

He spoke first, "Thanks for that. I needed a pick me up."

He acted like I had bought him a pint rather than sucked his dick. I didn't reply to him. I moved to lean against the classroom wall again, this time fully clothed.

He glanced over his shoulder at me as he adjusted his clothes. He looked away as he whispered, "Not a word."

I cleared my throat, "Right."

"And don't think for a minute that this is going to happen again," He said menacingly, his dislike of me coming back into his voice.

I refused to believe that it couldn't happen again. "Whatever you say. You know where to find me if you need to 'blow off steam' again," I started past him and pecked his cheek innocently before he could stop me. This seemed to be his breaking point. He stepped away and rushed past me to the door, quickly opening and letting it slam behind him as he left. I flinched, waited five minutes, and left to return to my own common room. I had a feeling I would sleep like a baby.


	2. Harry's Misfortune

February 1996

It had been nearly a week since I had had to go to an occlumency lesson. I usually went on Thursday nights, and last Thursday had gone far differently than expected. Firstly, no occlumency lesson ever went well. It was always exhausting and irritating to have my least favorite professor meddling in my mind. To make matters worse, on that particular Thursday, Snape managed to see my memory of my horrible date with Cho a few days previous at Madam Puddifoot's. It was mortifying enough to experience, but salt was only added to the wound when Snape saw it and mocked me for it. I had ended up storming out before the lesson was supposed to end, too upset to continue. That was when things took a turn for the bizarre.

I had run into my other enemy, Draco Malfoy, in the hall. Where things went after that was just confusing and strange. As I had promised, I had not said a word about it. In fact, I had managed to black it out of my own memory and think of it like a bad dream. But as I was walking down towards Snape's office the following Thursday, I couldn't help but recall that incredibly strange night and the things I had done. I couldn't say that I completely regretted it, but I did wish it hadn't happened. It would have made my life a little simpler had it not. I didn't think anything about this year could get any worse, but apparently fooling around with Draco Malfoy was the cherry on top of an already dreadful year.

I entered into Snape's office reluctantly and sat down in the same chair I always sat in. Snape was sitting behind his desk, writing something furiously. I leaned back in my chair and tried not to make it obvious how annoyed I was to be there. Snape stood without a word and picked his wand up off the desk. With a flick of the wrist he had cast the spell non verbally and began weaseling around my brain. I gripped onto the chair and my eyes compulsively shut. Images of my life flickered by rapidly. It started simple enough with an old memory of sitting in Mrs. Figg's house and being surrounded by her many cats. But the next thing I knew, a more prominent memory exploded with clarity: the sight of Draco leaning against the wall of that classroom, bare chested and panting in the moonlight.

"Stop!" I screamed, desperate for the image to get no worse. I thought so aggressively about shutting Snape out, but it didn't seem to work at all.

"You must learn to resist. Try and shut me out, Potter."

"I can't!"

"You're not even trying."

Draco standing inches from me and whispering something my mind couldn't recall. I hated to admit it, but he looked so attractive in the memory. But I couldn't focus on the beauty of him for long, all I could focus on was keeping Snape from seeing the total truth. I tried to actively not think about the rest, but by trying to avoid it, the memory came up stronger. Kiss after kiss. The way he looked at me when he was on his knees. The memories made my heart race. I thrashed my head around, trying to physically shake the magic out of my head, "Get out of my head!" I screamed desperately.

Much to my surprise, he did. I let my eyes open and looked up at him. I was practically shaking with fear and rage. I was indignant that he had continued to pry into those memories, but I was also terrified he was going to kill me for them. Draco was his star pupil, and he could easily use this information to cause problems for us.

Snape just looked at me with a mixed expression of caution and confusion. "Was that a deliberate attempt to mislead me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That … wasn't real."

"No, it wasn't," I quickly lied. If it was easier for him to believe that the images that he had seen going through my mind were not real, then I would let him believe that.

"You made it up?" He asked with a disgusted sneer.

"I was trying to get you out of my head, professor. It worked, didn't it?"

Snape slowly shook his head from side to side, "No, only an incredibly powerful legilimens could create a false image in the mind. If there's one thing you've proven, it's that you are terrible at legilimency. You're far too weak to be able to conjure such falsehoods. That was real, wasn't it Potter?"

I couldn't say anything. I could only manage to look away from him, averting my eyes to his potion stores on the cabinet beside me. This was enough of an answer for him to reach his own conclusions.

"Congratulations, Potter. You managed to let me into a guarded memory you would never want accessed by anyone. You can't even defend your most protected memories. Are you trying at all, or is this just a silly game to you?"

"I am trying! If you started out easier or gave me a chance to think and recover myself, I might actually be able to do this right."

"The Dark Lord has no intentions to give you a rest or make things easy for you. I am simply treating you in the same manner. However, you're clearly not willing to accept that tonight. Get out." Snape said bluntly. His robes billowed behind him as he moved back to his desk and returned to writing feverishly on a piece of parchment.

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. The two people I trusted the least, outside of Voldemort, now had leverage on me. I had also managed to break my promise in a week. I stood and headed for the door leading out of his office. As I opened it, Snape felt the need to add, "I would be careful if I were you, Potter. I won't come to your defense should you be caught doing things you ought not to be doing."

I turned to him, but he didn't look up. I laughed dryly and muttered under my breath, "As if you would ever help me with anything anyway."

I shut the door, knowing full well he wouldn't have a reply.

I had a bad feeling, as I was walking through the basement corridors to head back to the common room, that I was going to run into someone. Sure enough, Draco was sitting on the stairs to the main floor, waiting for me. I tried to pretend he wasn't there and kept walking.

"Out after hours again, Potter?" He said casually

I turned and looked down at him, "I — I already told you it's not going to happen."

"Doesn't mean I can't still get you in trouble for being out late. What is it you're doing down here anyway?"

"It's none of your business."

I was livid that he had had the audacity to approach me about this again, in the same fashion. Since it had happened, we had maintained our previous relationship of mutual hatred. When we happened to be in classes together, we either ignored each other or berated each other — as had always been the case.

"It is my business. It's the headmistress' business, so it's mine as well."

"You won't tell her," I said with confidence, realizing that I had a weapon against him.

"And why's that?"

"You broke just as many rules as I did last week. I'll tell her everything we did."

"First, the rules against snogging and the like only apply to girls and boys. Second," He said as he stood and took the three steps up to face me, "She wouldn't trust your word anyway. And thirdly, you're too noble to break a promise."

"I already broke it."

This caught him off guard. His bravado vanished and he looked suddenly panicked, "Who the _fuck_ did you tell?"

Harry sighed, easing up a bit, "It wasn't on purpose, and technically I didn't tell anyone anything."

"Who, Potter?" He said, his eyes blazing.

This was clearly a secret he would much rather be taken to the grave. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth, that Snape had used occlumency and seen my memories. So I quickly lied and said I had been sleep talking through a dream about him and that Neville had overheard me, but hadn't understood what I was saying.

The panic seemed to dissipate and his shoulders relaxed. He bit his lip and looked away for a moment before he could speak again, "You're damn lucky it wasn't Weasley."

"I know."

"You realize how bad that would have been?"

"It wasn't intentional, Malfoy. It's not like I wanted anyone to know," That much was true at least. I had not meant for anyone to find out, it had happened against my will. I was alarmingly proud at my ability to coin such a good lie on the spot.

He sighed, "I suppose." He paused and his lips curved upwards into a smirk, "Try and resist having dreams about me then, and we should be fine."

"Oh shut it," I said irritably, turning away. The pride at my clever lie turned into irritation with myself for having implied a sex dream about him. How stupid could I get?

"Potter, how can you even pretend like you don't still want me?" He asked as he followed me like the annoying pest he was.

I shook my head. I was going to have a hard time defending this point now, "Trust me, Malfoy. If I ever want to touch you again, you'll be the first to know. In the meantime, stay the hell away from me," I spat over my shoulder as I marched up the steps to the first floor.

I desperately wished that I had my invisibility cloak in my pocket, but I had been a fool and forgot it in the dormitory. I had even planned on bringing it for this exact reason. I heard his footsteps disappear behind me. When I got to the top of the stairs and turned to take the next flight I couldn't help but look down the stairs and see Draco standing at the bottom. He was watching me go, and appeared to be expressionless. As I marched up to the Gryffindor common room, I couldn't help but wonder if I had just broken his heart. But the thought alone was enough to make me laugh, namely because Draco didn't have a heart.


	3. Draco's Imbalance

September 1996

" _Harmonia nectere passus_."

I waited a moment and cracked the cabinet door open. The apple was there, untouched. I shut the door and leaned my head against it and sighed. It still wasn't working right. I decided to keep trying to make the passage work. If I had not successfully opened the passageway between the vanishing cabinets by the end of that first month of school, I would have to find ulterior methods of doing as the Dark Lord requested of me.

But for that day, I was done trying. I had had several failed attempts in one day and I was exhausted from the concentration it took to cast the spell. I pocketed my wand and headed back out of the Room of Requirement, stepping into the seventh floor corridor. The door vanished as I shut it behind me. It was late. I hadn't realized how long I had been in there. A cursory glance out a nearby window proved that the moon was already out. My eyes naturally moved down from the window and I noticed a figure standing in the hall. I jumped a bit and pulled out my wand, "Who's there? _Lumos_."

They were far enough away that the light from my wand did not immediately illuminate them. The shadowy figure slowly stepped forward into the light.

"Potter," I sneered, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"Why do you care?" I had to resist the urge to throttle him. What had once been a passive aggressive attraction toward him had shifted into hatred. His actions at the end of last year had destroyed my family. My father was in Azkaban, suffering at the hands of dementors. I had the impossible task of redeeming the family's name by killing the one person who appeared to be impossible to kill; all because of Harry fucking Potter.

"You're up to something, I know you are," Harry said ominously.

I shook my head, "You don't have any proof. How's your nose doing, by the way?" It had brought me immense satisfaction to bust his nose a couple of weeks ago on the train. I had been miffed that he had managed to get to school instead of getting caught paralyzed on the train under his stupid invisibility cloak, but it still was enjoyable to see him wander into the Great Hall covered in blood.

"Just fine, thanks for asking. And don't worry, I'll prove it soon enough. You can't keep hiding from me."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, a warning."

"Are you stalking me, Potter?"

"No, just observing."

"Sounds like the same thing to me," I countered.

"Call it what you want, Malfoy. Either way, you had better be careful this year. I'm not going to let you get away with anything."

" _Nox_ ," I muttered. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark. I stepped a bit closer to him, "What are you going to do, go crying to your old pal Dumbledore?"

"Yes," He said, not taking the insult.

"I can always kiss it and make it go away."

"That's not how it works anymore, Malfoy."

"Wanna bet?" I taunted.

"Oh, please. You have no pull on me anymore."

"So you admit there was something before then? It wasn't just an incident."

"No, that's not what I'm saying," He said with an air of agitation.

"Getting flustered? Hot and bothered?"

"No. You're trying to distract me. It's not going to work. You're going to tell me what the hell it is you're up to."

"Make me," I sneered. When he didn't move or say anything I just laughed dismissively, "I didn't think so."

I turned and started to walk away. I had only walked a few paces when he murmured, "Malfoy."

I stopped but I didn't turn around. I just waited there, looking up at the ceiling. An old part of me sincerely wanted to turn around and take him in my arms and not let go. But a much louder, more recent addition wanted to whip around and curse him. The cruciatus would have been appropriate. He deserved it for the hell he had put me through.

"I admit it. I … it wasn't just an incident that happened. I still think about it, and I wouldn't mind if it happened again," Harry's tone sounded far more serious than usual.

This was enough to get me to turn around, but not enough to make me walk back. "Is that so? You actually …" I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence. The old me was overjoyed, and the new me was repulsed and I couldn't figure out which I agreed with more. Had he said this before, sometime last year, I would probably already be on the floor with him.

"Want to be with you again? Yes," Harry said, barely audible.

"We are not supposed to be together," I murmured, despite the fact that I was stepping toward him.

"I know," He said as he stepped toward me as well.

"We can never be together. Romantically. It would be catastrophic, and you know it."

"We both know it."

"So what's the point in even trying?"

"We may not be able to be a couple, but we can at least be together physically," Harry whispered as he stepped the closest to me that he had been since our encounter less than a year ago. It was amazing how much had changed in a few months.

"What are you suggesting?" I asked cautiously, knowing full well his meaning but not completely believing it either.

"I just really …" He sighed and leaned forward, but instead of kissing me he rested his lips by my ear and whispered, "want to be with you."

Whatever resolve I had had melted away in that instant. My new hatred of him fizzled away. Thoughts of my father and the pressure it had all put on me turned into a soft whisper. If anything, the notion of how stressful things had been the past couple of months was enough to convince me how badly I needed the release. I could have had my chance with Zabini in the common room earlier that week, but I had not been able to. Part of me wondered if it was because of Harry. Was I really so preoccupied with him that I couldn't bring myself to fuck anyone else? It was a foolish thing, really.

"Well?" He asked as he pulled away from me again, "What do you say? One last time before it gets ugly and we go back to killing each other?"

He had a point. There was no way that we were going to be that happy couple that got to play around and snog all day. We were always going to be complicated. The best we could do right now was blow off some steam and get back to hating each other afterwards.

I nodded silently in reply to the question. He smiled, pleased. I gestured for him to follow me. He did so without hesitation. I lead him to the nearby prefect's bathroom. I expected him to be somewhat amazed at the wonder of the place, but he seemed familiar with it somehow.

"Won't Moaning Myrtle bother us?" He asked curiously as I went over and ran the tap.

"Why would she?" I asked him, completely baffled. Everyone knew that she haunted the second floor girl's room, not the prefect's room.

Harry blushed a bit, "Oh, she's bothered me in here before."

"Why have you been in here before?"

"The Triwizard Tournament. Cedric — I mean, I came in here to open the egg. I had to open it underwater to hear it. She came in and was being a bit of a flirt," He admitted shyly.

I couldn't help but laugh at this. The muscles in my face ached from lack of use. "Are you trying to tell me you fucked Moaning Myrtle?"

"Oh, shut the hell up," He said with a shake of his head, "Not everyone is as perverted as you are, y'know."

"And yet you're the one who was coming after me for a shag," I pointed out as I screwed the faucets shut again. It was crystal clear water. The moonlight poured in through the stain glass window and made the room a perfect kaleidoscope of color.

"Yeah, but let's be honest. Who's got more experience with it between the two of us?"

I smirked, "Me, obviously."

"That's what I thought."

I walked over to where he stood near the pool's edge, "That being said: care for a dip?"

"Why not?" He shrugged, but made no move for the water.

"Good," I said, pulling him close and kissing him for the first time in months. I was hardly paying any attention to the kiss itself, I was mostly focusing on navigating him. I moved him so his back was to the giant pool of water and eased him closer to the ledge. I couldn't help but snicker a bit as we kissed.

"What?" He asked curiously.

"Can I say it for old time's sake?" I asked, pulling just a couple of inches away from him.

He made a curious expression before he figured it out. He rolled his eyes and smiled, "If you must."

I grinned and placed a hand on his chest, "Scared, Potter?"

Before he could reply, I shoved him straight into the water. It was around five feet deep, and he fell in as ungracefully as one could. I grabbed my wand back out from my pocket and enchanted the door quickly before putting the wand down on the tile floor. I wasn't going to be needing it. Harry emerged from the water just as I was standing back up again.

"You rotten little git!" He shouted angrily.

I couldn't help but laugh at him, "I'm sorry, I just really couldn't help myself."

"You know, I can see why nobody likes you. You do shit like that."

I tried not to let the remark sting me. It could hurt me later. Right now, I just wanted to have fun, "No, that's what makes me so irresistible, I'm unpredictable."

I kicked off my shoes and slipped into the pool beside him, not caring if I ended up drenched from head to toe. That was kind of the point, really. Harry just rolled his eyes at me, but he couldn't hide the smile on his lips and in his eyes. I reached out and grabbed his soggy shirt and yanked him over to me. We collided. Our lips eased together as if no time had passed, as if we had always been doing this.

In the weightlessness of the water, Harry managed to wrap himself around me and I held him up with ease. His hands tangled into my hair and the taste of chlorine permeated our kisses. There was no hesitation, no jesting, no questioning. Despite the fact that we had only fooled around once before, we had no issues with falling back into a familiar rhythm. He eventually pulled away first, and without a word he started removing my clothes. He loosened my tie and threw it aside, landing halfway on the tile and halfway in the pool.

He moved off of me long enough to unbutton my shirt completely, "Why do you always dress so … properly? Even when you don't have class?"

"I want people to respect me. Suits achieve that pretty damn well."

"Not that I'm complaining, because I have to say you look excruciatingly attractive in these crisp shirts. Not that they're nice and crisp anymore," He said as he balled up the sopping shirt and tried to throw it like a quaffle across the room. It landed with a wet flop on the tile. He turned back to look at me and smiled as he ran a hand across my chest. His palm rested flat over my heart for a minute and wandered away. His eyes happened to wander down and his eyes widened. I didn't know what he was reacting to at first. He reached out and grabbed my right arm through the water and pulled it toward him, holding it out in front of him. My dark mark was impossible to ignore.

"I knew it."

I didn't say anything. He let go of my arm and glared at me. I grabbed the hem of his shirt under the water and slowly pulled it up over his head and threw it aside.

"Malfoy, how could you?" He started.

"Someone had to take my father's place after you screwed him over," I commented dryly. "We can either sit here and bitch about it or we can forget about everything for a little bit. You can always give me shit for it later."

He seemed to hesitate before finally shrugging with a shake of his head, "Fine. Don't think I'm going to forget this."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I murmured before kissing him innocently on the cheek. I let my lips brush down his jaw toward his neck. His arms wrapped around me as I did. I kissed the pale skin so lightly I wasn't sure if he even felt it. I licked the water off, loving the strange taste the chlorine left on my tongue. And then I bit at his flesh. Hard. His body tightened and he made a strange noise. He dug his nails into my back and naturally arched into me, our hips rubbing together briefly.

"Please, sweet Merlin, can we take the pants off already?"

"Impatient are we?" I whispered against his ear.

"Well, yes, that and the fact that if this denim gets any tighter it might actually hurt me."

I moved away from his neck and stood in front of him. My hands in the water gravitated toward his navel and gripped the hem of his jeans. I kept eye contact with him the whole time, my head tilted slightly to one side. I popped the button of his jeans and eased the zipper down, although not without some difficulty. He was harder than he had been last time, that much was obvious. I laughed and let my hand brush against him. He winced slightly, as if it was torturous. I smiled at this briefly before I helped peel his pants down a little further. His actual wand slid out of one of the pockets. He grabbed it and murmured a spell under his breath. The incredibly tight denim that gripped at his skin in the water slipped right off, shoes, socks, and underwear going along with it. They flew out of the water and landed in a pile on the floor.

"Sorry, it's just easier," He admitted. "Mind if I…?"

"Not at all."

With another quick wave of his wand we were both suddenly naked in the water together. He gently tossed his wand on top of the pile of clothes that had gathered on the edge of the pool. We took a moment to just witness each other. He had already seen me unclothed, but it had been awhile. I wasn't sure what he had done between then and now, but he was far more toned than he had been. The water obscured much of the details of his form, but I didn't really care. I didn't need details. I just needed him.

"Quit gawking and kiss me," I demanded.

Harry did not need to be asked twice. He pulled himself close to me again, sending ripples through the pool of water. With his arms around me, he pushed our bodies together, leaving no space between them. We kissed feverishly. I knew I had to make this count, it was probably the last time that it would ever happen. I rested a hand in the middle of his back and was so surprised that I pulled away. My fingers outlined the four scars I had left there last February. "You still have them?"

"Well, you did practically maul my skin. It takes time for that kind of thing to heal," Harry said with no small amount of snark.

"You didn't think to heal it magically?"

Harry sighed and shook his head, "No."

"Either you're extremely stupid or you're extremely sweet."

"Why can't it be both?" He asked.

I smiled as I looked at him, "I'm going to go with extremely stupid, since you still haven't bothered to take your glasses off."

I reached forward and took them off for him, floating away from him long enough to delicately put them on the floor beside our clothes. I pulled myself out of the water and sat on the ledge in the pool. I gestured for him to come over.

"Draco, I can't see you," Harry admitted, swimming toward me anyway.

"Oh, you poor blind bat," I teased. When he got close enough I reached out and grabbed onto his arm and helped him up onto the ledge beside me. "Just how blind are you?"

He turned to face me and leaned in until our noses were just a few centimeters apart, "Now I can see you clearly."

I couldn't help but laugh, "No wonder you keep those stupid specks."

He huffed, "Mocking my vision impairment is not going to make me want to fuck you."

"Who said anything about you fucking me?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I assumed…?"

"Oh, but don't you know what they say? Assuming makes an ass out of you and me."

He rolled his eyes at this.

"Careful, you're going to hurt your eyes if you keep doing that. And you're already blind, so that probably wouldn't help much," I quipped.

"Malfoy, shut up," He shook his head.

"Get to the point, you say? Well, I think that can be arranged," I murmured as I moved to straddle his hips, a knee on either side of him. I looked down at him with a little smirk as I slowly licked the palm of my hand and reached between us, holding our cocks together. He let out a soft noise of surprise. I carefully moved my hips, keeping our lengths together. It was far more arousing than the pathetic hand job he had given me last year. This was something so much more personal, it felt more real. His hand shifted to my neck and he pulled me down as he laid on his back and kissed me aggressively. I couldn't maintain it for long, too busy concentrating on my thrusts against him. I pulled away from the kiss, but he kept me close to him so that he could see me.

Every single thing about this particular interaction was more personal and more intense than it had been before. What amazed me was that it was happening at all. Last time he had been insistent that it would never happen again. He had even been callous enough to completely dismiss me. He didn't know it, and he probably never would, but when he had told me to stay away from him last year it had hurt me immensely. I wouldn't say he broke my heart. I wasn't in love with him at all. I just desperately wanted him to care. And if the only way I got him to say my first name was by fooling around with him, then I would do it. If the only way to get him to look at me with such tenderness was to fuck him, then I would gladly do so.

The logistics of our positioning was a bit tricky, but having done this before with Zabini I didn't struggle too much. Had Harry been trying to accomplish it, it likely would have been a disaster. But I kept our cocks together with a certain expertise. I relished in the sounds of his moans. I could not take my eyes off of him, even when he tipped his head back and let his eyes shut. I watched the red light from the stain glass window illuminate his pale skin. I was eclipsed in shadow, comparatively, from a section of the window that appeared to be covered. How appropriate. He was always the one in the light and I was always the contrasting darkness.

I managed to pick up speed while maintaining our delicate position, concentrating on every sign of his pleasure. Not that I wasn't thoroughly enjoying myself. It's just that, unlike all of my forays with Zabini, I could not simply shut off my mind and enjoy myself. I was thinking far too much about the implications and meanings behind this act. I did my best to shut these thoughts out. I ran my hand along both of us, gripping us together at the end instead of the base. I grazed my thumb over his head and my own, back and forth. It was just what I needed to distract myself, and apparently just what Harry needed to finish off. His hips bucked on instinct and he nearly threw me off. The sound of his climax and the look on his face was enough for me to reach my own breaking point.

When both of us had come down from our high, I carefully moved off of his lap, sitting on the edge of the pool again, my calves dangling in the water. My thighs hurt like hell, and I hoped it would leave me sore tomorrow so I could have some evidence that it had happened. He slowly sat up as well before wordlessly slipping back into the pool and swimming about.

He turned back to me, "What, aren't you gonna swim?"

I smiled, knowing he couldn't see it, and slipped into the water to join him. We ended up leaning against the opposite side of the pool, standing in the water. The water reached up to his collarbone. We stood there quietly for a moment, gazing at the stain glass art. I put an arm around his shoulders. I didn't feel like I was allowed to, but he didn't resist or make me move. The moonlight shone through a clear window above the stain glass. There were a million things I wanted to say to him, but I didn't say a single one of them.

"We should go," He eventually murmured.

I removed my arm from his shoulder and nodded in agreement, unable to speak. I was afraid of what would come out if I opened my mouth. I stepped out of the pool and picked my wand up off the floor. He followed suit. We quietly used our magic to dry out our clothes and put them back on our bodies. I even made a point to tighten to my tie back in place. I couldn't risk looking disheveled when I returned to the common room. I didn't need to see the stupid look on Pansy's face. She had some insane disillusion that we were together when I rarely ever paid her any mind. Every time I happened to walk around with my tie loosened or a mark on my neck from Zabini she would cry and run away. In truth, sometimes I deliberately fucked Zabini and made him mark me up just to keep her at bay.

But this was not an instance where that would be appropriate. If I walked in looking a sexed up mess while Zabini was sleeping it would draw unwanted questions. So I made sure I was well pressed as always. I pocketed my wand and turned to see Harry was removing the bruise I had put on his neck. I wondered if he had removed the scars on his back now that I had mentioned it. He was dressed again and had drained the pool of the evidence, and he put his glasses on and looked over at me. We weren't sure what to do or say now.

"What are you doing in the Room of Requirement every day?"

"What?" I asked, taken aback.

"What are you—"

"I heard you. I'm just trying to figure this out. Did you just want to fool around to get information out of me?"

"No," Harry was the worst liar, his guilty tone gave him away completely.

"You fucking…" I couldn't even think in a straight enough line to deliver an insult. I shook my head, my rage and hatred returning to the forefront of my mind. "I cannot believe I trusted you," was the best I could spit out as I went to walk past him.

He reached out and blocked me from storming off, "It wasn't only because of that. I wanted to."

"You had your own fucking agenda, Potter. Don't you dare lie to me," I warned. "Get your hands off of me."

"No, you have to believe me. I didn't mean—"

I pulled out my wand in the blink of an eye, " _Relashio._ "

The spell rocketed him away from me. He collapsed onto the floor, catching his fall with outstretched hands that surely got scratched. He looked up at me in surprise. He had not expected me to attack him. He actually thought he could try to convince me of his pathetic lies.

"Don't come near me again, Potter. You'll regret it if you do," I threatened as I walked away, slamming the door to the prefects bathroom behind me.


	4. Harry's Dilemma

January 1997

I could not get Ginny out of my mind. Earlier in the school year I had started to take notice of her, though it wasn't until after my fling with Malfoy. Having these feelings for her was complicating everything. Looking at her made my heart race. It was not unlike my initial attraction to Cho Chang. The difference this time was that Ginny actually could make a good match for me. Cho and I had nothing in common, aside from Cedric, and I was pretty confident (in hindsight) that I had only pursued her because she was beautiful. Ginny was different.

When we saw her snogging with Dean in the corner of the Three Broomsticks it had almost made me nauseous. I considered both of them my friends, but at the same time … the sight of it was unnerving. I could never quite figure out why it was that they were dating at all. I could understand what Dean saw in her, and had even made a fool of myself in front of Ron trying to explain it. How he had not figured out in that moment that I was interested in his sister I will never know. I suspected he was trying to pretend that I hadn't made awkward comments on her skin. But why did Ginny have any interest in Dean? Sure, Quidditch, but that wasn't a good enough reason to date someone. Then again, I could see no reason for her to want to date me either. There were many nights in my sixth year where I couldn't fall asleep for comparing myself to Dean and wondering if I had a chance.

I had been in the middle of pretending to do homework in the dorms when Dean happened to burst in looking pissed. It was after ten at night and the rest of us were still up, sitting in our four posters doing homework. But I only looked like I was doing homework; I was actually reading the margins of my potions textbook. A number of things were scribbled in the tiniest sections, many of them simple notations on potions and brews. But a few of them appeared to be some incantations I had never heard of.

Dean stormed over to his bed and started a conversation with Seamus. Given the circular shape of the room, it was impossible not to overhear them.

"It's Ginny again, ain't it?" Seamus asked.

"Of course it is. She gets mad at me for the stupidest things," Dean said angrily as he started changing into his pajamas.

"Dean, maybe watch it, eh?" Seamus suggested, with a nod toward Ron.

"'Preciate it, Seamus," Ron said, glancing away from his charms essay.

"Sorry, it's not really personal. I just … I don't think she really likes me," Dean said, trying to calm himself down.

"Why's that?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too curious.

"I don't know. She just doesn't want me to be around her that often, and when I am she usually keeps her distance and gets mad at the silliest things."

"I'm sorry, Dean," I said earnestly. I had nothing against Dean, I just wished he wasn't dating Ginny. Despite the fact that I was full of joy that they were falling apart, I also felt terrible for both of them having to suffer.

"Thanks, Harry."

"Don't mention it."

"Speaking of girls," Ron said, changing the entire course of the conversation as he tossed his homework aside, "Lavender's going to be the death of me."

"No offense Ron, but I really don't want to hear about the fact that you're snogging your girlfriend so much that it hurts," Dean said painfully.

Ron was a bit humbled by this, "Sorry, mate."

Dean didn't want to keep the subject on his misery for too long, however, and turned to Neville who was reading a giant Herbology book, "What about you Neville, any luck lately?"

Neville blushed a bit, "Me? 'Course not."

"Neville, don't be so hard on yerself," Seamus chimed in.

"I'll find someone someday, I'm sure. Just not today. Or this year, probably."

"Nobody around here good enough for ya?" Dean teased with a little smile.

Neville laughed a bit, "No, it's the other way around. I don't think I'm good enough for anyone. There's a couple girls I've liked, but they're way out of my league."

"Like who?" Ron pressed, suddenly interested in the conversation.

He shook his head quickly, "I don't want to say." We all egged him on, demanding that he tell us. He finally relented and admitted, "I had a crush on Hermione when we were young. And that girl, Hannah Abbott, I always liked her too."

"The Hufflepuff?" Seamus asked with a ridiculous smile.

"Yeah, her."

"That's odd, though Hufflepuffs are kind of odd in general," Seamus said.

"You had a crush on Hermione?" Ron asked. I hoped for his benefit that nobody else noticed his shoulders tense up the way I did.

"In first year, yeah. But then it just kind of faded after a while, mostly because I'm not nearly smart enough to be with a girl like that. I mean, she's still my friend and all, but I don't see her like that anymore."

"Right, 'course," Ron said quickly, though I noticed he looked somewhat relieved.

"Wait, have you never dated anyone Neville?" Seamus asked curiously.

His blush darkened, "No. Never."

"Never even kissed a girl?" Dean asked.

"Never kissed anyone, for that matter. Please tell me I'm not a lost cause and I'm not the only one." He said, suddenly panicked.

"No, mate, 'course not!" Seamus said reassuringly, "I mean, I went to the Yule Ball with Lavender but that didn't really mean a thing. Never kissed anyone either. Don't worry yourself. We're not totally hopeless."

I couldn't help but notice him glance toward Dean. I wondered how long it would take for those two to realize they were into each other. Dean could be pretty thick at times.

"None of us really have that much experience with girls in general," I commented, hoping to further lessen Neville's concerns.

"Yeah, we're all virgins here, right?" Dean asked, albeit a bit nervously.

Ron exchanged a look with me and blushed badly, the color clashing with his hair terribly.

"No _bleeding_ way Ron is the only one of us that ain't a virgin," Seamus said, almost outraged.

"I mean, it wasn't really sex — traditionally speaking," Ron mumbled.

"You haven't even told me, when did this happen?" I asked, genuinely surprised that Ron had had sexual encounters with anyone.

"Last week. But it was just a BJ. Not really the same thing."

"I mean, it's a form of sex itn't it?" Seamus pointed out.

"You did not," I said with a shake of my head. Ron gave me a look that showed his shame clearly. He was telling the truth. I was floored. My best friend had let Lavender Brown go down on him and he hadn't even told me until now. "Any reason you didn't feel like telling your best friend?"

"I didn't want you to judge me. Or tell Hermione. I mostly didn't want you to tell Hermione," He explained.

"I won't, I promise. But — good for you, I guess?"

"I mean, it wasn't that great."

"Oh that's the worst," Dean remarked casually. Everyone turned to look at him and Ron's eyes got wide. He obviously had not realized what it had sounded like he was implying "Oh no! I'm not saying —!"

"You better not be, or I'll cut your dick off," Ron said maliciously, his voice hitting that serious tone of dire rage.

"I promise, Ron. Nothing's ever happened between your sister and I," Dean assured him wholeheartedly.

"Good, keep it that way."

"Trust me, you don't have anything to worry about," Dean emphasized.

"So, wait, are you trying to say someone else at this school has given you the business?" Seamus asked with more concern than a friend would have.

Dean shrugged casually, "I mean, no. But I did get a handjob at the Yule Ball from Fay Dunbar."

"Who the hell is Fay Dunbar?" I asked, completely perplexed.

"She's in our year, Harry," Ron laughed at me. "Leave it to the freaking Chosen One to not have the time of day for normal girls."

"Yeah, but at least he doesn't get any luck with them either." Neville smiled.

"Seriously, like we needed the added pressure of the Chosen One getting all the action," Ron teased, reaching for a box of Bertie Bott's and tossing me one in a gesture of goodwill.

I just smiled at this and played along until the conversation naturally ended and we all headed to bed for the night. All of the lights were turned off in a matter of moments. I quietly shut the curtains of my bed and muttered, " _Lumos_ ," under my breath, hoping the curtains would stop the light from bothering them too much. I pulled the Marauder's map out from the pocket of the hoodie I had thrown at the foot of my bed a few days ago. I flipped it open and examined it. Not to my surprise, Ginny was in the girl's dormitory, hopefully sleeping well. My eyes wandered across the map of the school and found the seventh floor toward the spot where the Room of Requirement was. Nothing appeared to be there. I waited patiently. After what felt like an hour but was probably only several minutes I saw the name "Draco Malfoy" suddenly appear just outside of a wall, as if out of nowhere. He was at it again.

" _Nox_ ," I whispered. I pulled the curtains back and put the map and the potions book on my nightstand before lying down in bed.

I closed my eyes, but could not stop thinking about how misled my friends were about me. They only knew I had kissed Cho Chang and had gone on one terrible date with her. They had no idea that as recently as this year I had been naked in the prefect's bathroom, fooling around with Draco Malfoy of all people. Of course, they could never know the truth; that I had had, not one, but two different sexual encounters. But none of it really mattered to me anymore. I wanted nothing more than to be with Ginny. Draco was never someone I could realistically be with anyway. We would kill each other. Ginny was kind and caring where Draco was merciless and rude. I was still intent on finding out what he was up to in that room, but I had yet to find any solid evidence he was up to wrongdoing — though I heavily suspected he had cursed the necklace given to Katie Bell earlier in the year.

As I tried to fall asleep, I wondered how Ron might respond if he knew what I had done with Draco. I decided resolutely to never tell him. I didn't think Ron could handle it. He hated the Malfoys more than I did. I wondered if Ginny would judge me too. I decided she couldn't possibly. It wasn't like we had really had sex. We had just messed around. I wasn't in love with him, I didn't even like him that much. I had just — been really horny at the wrong time. When I looked at Ginny, I didn't think how great it would be to sleep with her. I thought about how great it would be to kiss her, to hold her, to care for her. When I looked at Draco I thought of how great it would feel to punch him in the face. His name didn't even evoke any arousal in me anymore, it hardly had to begin with. I sighed and did my best to rest, forcing myself to quit thinking of Ginny and Draco. And yet, I still dreamt of her.


	5. Draco's Nightmare

May 6th, 1997

I just wanted breakfast. I had hardly eaten in days, and when I did it wasn't much and I could barely keep it down. I thought I could try a couple slices of toast that morning, see if it would stay down. But when I walked in the Great Hall the first thing I saw was Katie Bell talking to Harry Potter. I was unequivocally fucked. I turned tail and headed right back out of the Great Hall. I wasn't really thinking, didn't really have a plan. I just knew things were about to get bad. Weasley was out of the hospital wing a while ago, but nobody had seemed suspicious of it yet. But Harry was definitely still suspicious of me, although he appeared to be the only one.

I ran into the first floor bathroom, grateful for its emptiness in the early morning. I rushed to the sinks, desperate for something tangible to hold onto. I could feel sweat beading all over my forehead and back. I peeled my suffocating sweater off and tossed it aside. I turned the faucets on and tried splashing my face with cold water. It didn't help. I still could not shake the feeling of doom. Two attempts to kill Dumbledore had failed massively already. My time was nearly up, and I couldn't even get the damn cabinet to work. I was going to die. The simple thought made me burst, an animal like cry coming from my lungs.

"I know what you did, Malfoy."

No. No. It couldn't be. Why did he have to follow me? I spun around to face him.

"You hexed her, didn't you?" Harry accused.

" _Locomotor mortis_!" I cried out.

" _Protego_ ," He blocked it before it could touch him.

I aimed at the stall beside him, " _Expulso_!" It shattered into a hundred pieces, and he ducked for cover. I ran, trying to get out of the bathroom as quick as I could. But just as I turned a corner, he turned the opposite corner and came racing toward me. Without thinking, I shot a nonverbal spell that caught him off guard. He fell onto his back and I stepped over toward him. I looked down at him for a moment. In this incredibly brief moment all I could see was the fool who had hurt me in so many ways, had taken my pain for granted. " _Cruc_ —"

" _Sectumsempra_!" He shouted before I could finish my own curse.

All I felt at first was a sense of a breeze on my cheek and water splashing around me. I fell into a pool of water as the searing pain grew across my body. I wondered vaguely why there was water on the floor, then remembered that this was Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I could hardly breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out. I opened my eyes and saw Harry hovered over me, looking terrified.

"No, no, I didn't mean —"

I couldn't even respond. I was barely able to comprehend his words, barely able to manage my own breaths. I had a brief flicker of thought that I was probably about to die. How fitting that it would be, to die at Potter's hands. I began to tremble. Harry's mouth kept moving without noise. I could feel my consciousness slipping as the blood spilled out of me. If this was my last thought, my last few seconds of life, I was at least partially glad Harry was here. I wished I could have said goodbye to my mother. I wished I could have told Harry the truth. I opened my mouth to tell him that, despite that I may have been dying in his arms, I cared about him. Despite how stupid he was, despite how horrible he was for me, I loved him. Then it all went black.

I came to a few minutes later, as Snape tried to help me to my feet. I was barely able to do it, but eventually balanced myself as I leaned against him. He kept an arm around me and brought me to the hospital wing, "What were you doing, fighting with Potter in the lavatory? Don't you understand you cannot draw attention to yourself?" He asked angrily.

"I don't know," Was all I could muster.

He shook his head, clearly disappointed. I had never cared for Professor Snape that much, but it didn't help knowing that he probably hated me as much as everyone else did these days. When I arrived at the hospital wing, I let myself tune out. Snape left, probably to kill Harry. I couldn't say I blamed him, I don't even think I would have stopped him if I could. I let Madame Pomfrey fret and worry over me, dripping essence of dittany onto the open wounds that were apparently all along my chest. She patted a soaked cloth across my face. I couldn't help but hate Harry for marking up my face. It was one thing to leave a mark when we fucked, it was a different thing entirely for him to slice my face open in an attack. I hoped that whatever strange curse he had sent my way would not make the mark permanent like his. At least his stupid scar was shapely. I looked like I'd been attacked by a werewolf.

Pomfrey had me fixed up in a few minutes, insisting that I spend the night in the hospital wing to recover. She demanded that I rest and try not to get out of bed at all. I didn't need to be told twice. I could have happily stayed there forever. I didn't want to go back to the world where I would have to be responsible for an impossible task. As I lay there for a few hours, I had time to consider things. If I didn't succeed, not only would I die, but my father might even get killed as well. In the very least, he would be stuck in Azkaban as further punishment for my failure. I had to make the cabinet work. As soon as I was cleared to go, I was going to go back and fix that damned cabinet, bring in the Death Eaters, and kill Dumbledore myself. I had plenty of time to plan this, since nobody bothered to see me — that is, until night fell.

I had a curtain that blocked my view of the door to the wing. I had no presumption that anyone would visit me, not even Snape who I now knew had made an unbreakable vow to protect me. Just because he saved my life, doing whatever it was that he did, did not mean he owed me an ounce of affection. He had never really liked me. He just favored me. There was a difference. So when I heard footsteps coming down the aisle of beds, I assumed it was a visitor for someone else. Then Harry appeared at the foot of my bed.

"Come to finish the job?" I sneered, furious that he dared to show his face to me after what he had done to me.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know what that spell would do. I had just read it somewhere, and it was the first thing I thought of, I don't know why," He rushed to explain.

"Oh save it for someone that gives a damn," I snapped. "You tried to kill me."

"You were going to torture me!" Harry pointed out, suddenly getting angry, "Why, Draco? What did I ever do to you?"

"What did you do to me? Besides accusing me of attempted murder? Merlin, I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you routinely have sent mixed messages. You hate me and apparently wouldn't mind if I died, but you don't have any issues with f—"

"Don't say it."

"Can you blame me for wanting you to suffer the way I have, even if for a moment?"

"Yes, I can. I know you tried to kill her and probably Ron too. I don't know why you're doing it but it has to stop Malfoy. You can't keep helping him. You don't know what he's done."

"You think I don't know what he's capable of? He's already destroyed my family, made our lives living hell. I have to live with my father's mistakes and redeem the family honor, Potter. And all because of you. You had better stay out of my way, because if you do interfere I will kill you."

This finally seemed to take him by surprise. He hesitated for a minute, "Y-you wouldn't."

I slowly sat up, wincing at the pain, "Do you want to try me?"

He shook his head in disbelief, his voice gentle and quiet,"No. You cannot possibly this far gone. You're not your father. You don't have to be like this. You don't need that on your arm."

I glanced at the table by my bed. Pomfrey had been kind enough to leave me a pitcher of water and a glass. My wand rested patiently beside them.

"Get away from me," I whispered.

"Let me help," He started.

"You can't. You have no idea what I'm going through. Just leave."

"Draco,"

I grabbed at the glass and whipped it toward him without thinking. It missed by a mile and shattered on the floor, glass pieces scattering everywhere, "Don't call me that. You don't have the right."

He finally took the hint and began to walk away just as Madame Pomfrey came over and shooed him off angrily. She took care of the mess in a jiffy and turned to me, "I don't suppose you could avoid aggravating yourself in the future, could you?"

"He came in here and bothered me, not the other way around," I said curtly as I laid back down, wincing again.

"Either way, lot of good it did you. I don't know how that boy got past me, but I won't be letting him do it again," Pomfrey said as she came over to my bedside and waved her wand over me. The pain eased up a bit. "That should help. Now, actually get some sleep. You should be set to leave tomorrow."

"Thank you," I mumbled. Despite her recommendation, it took several hours for me to fall asleep. She woke me up a couple of hours after I had fallen asleep and told me I was fully healed and could leave. Despite my exhaustion, I managed to get out of bed and pretend things were back to normal. Not that normal really existed for me anymore.

I went straight for the Great Hall, still starving from days without food. Again, I thought that all I was going to get that morning was breakfast, a simple meal. I went in and grabbed a few slices of toast and swallowed them a bit too quickly, nearly choking multiple times. Crabbe and Goyle wanted to know how the cabinet was coming along, I didn't say anything. As I sat there, trying to eat as much as was humanly possible, my eyes happened to wander; that was when Ginny and Harry walked into the Great Hall together, holding hands. I reacted a bit strongly: choking on toast, spilling my cup of tea, stumbling over my words. But I was too filled with hatred to care about how much I was embarrassing myself.

"What's with that?" I asked Crabbe and Goyle absently. "Did I miss something?"

"Just two blood traitors snogging in the Gryffindor common room after the Quidditch game. Most people are freaking out over it. Dunno why," Crabbe said absently.

"Let's hope they don't spawn. We don't need more like them," I muttered, swallowing the last of my food before leaving to try and fix the cabinet.


	6. Harry's Confession

Fall 1997

I cast the protection spells as Hermione set the tent up. This was starting to become second nature. I wondered if I could perform these spells in my sleep; I'd already learned how to do them nonverbally thanks to this constant practice. I pocketed my wand again and crunched through the dead brown leaves underfoot as I headed toward our tent. I stepped in as Hermione was sitting down with her copy of _the Tales of the Beedle and the Bard_ at the table. I sat across from her and pulled the Marauder's map from my pocket. I unfolded it and let my eyes roam over it, trying to find her. Sure enough, she was there, walking through the halls of the castle with Neville.

"Harry, you really need to stop torturing yourself with that thing."

"As if you don't constantly think about Ron." I commented dryly, not looking up from the page.

She put her book down and looked over at me, "Thinking about the person you miss is different than spying on them from afar."

"It's not … spying. I'm just worried about her is all. If you could do the same for Ron, you know you would." I said. Despite this though, I still folded the map up. "She keeps walking the halls with Neville."

"You did tell her to move on without you."

"But …" I started to explain, but couldn't quite find the words.

"You still secretly hope she's waiting for you?"

I felt my cheeks warm a bit, "Yeah, I suppose."

"That's nothing to be embarrassed by, Harry. You love her, you can't be blamed for hoping that things will work out between you two." She said in earnest.

I sighed softly, not saying anything and looking away.

"I know Ginny. She's definitely still waiting for you. She's been in love with you since she was a child, that's not about to change anytime soon. She's probably just as worried about you as you are about her." Hermione tried to reassure me.

"You're right. This is how Ron felt during the Yule Ball, and he was overanalyzing that too so I suppose I don't need to worry about it."

"Oh, I forgot about that." Hermione laughed, "He really was pretty ridiculous wasn't he? Thinking I was mad over Krum."

Harry smiled at the memory, "You know he got jealous when you danced with Krum at the wedding, right?"

Hermione turned and looked at me with wide eyes, "You're joking."

"No, I'm serious." I laughed. "Are you really so surprised? You know how he is."

"Jealous?"

"Insecure."

"Fair enough. He's always comparing himself. I wasn't even dating Krum and he still got jealous. Probably because he assumed he would have no chance with me if I was interested in Krum."

"Yeah. He never out right said it, but I think that's a safe assumption."

She laughed as she rolled her eyes a bit, "I mean — he wasn't totally off. I was a little attracted to Krum, but I was well aware it was never going to happen."

"What are you saying, Hermione?"

It was her turn to blush a bit, "I mean, he's an attractive man and he asked me to a dance. We may have snogged a bit, but nothing beyond that. But, honestly, I think I mostly did it to get back at Ron for being an arse."

I couldn't help but laugh, "You never told me that."

"Forgive me for not confessing to my conquests like you boys do." She teased. "Is it really so outrageous to believe I've kissed boys before?"

"No, that's not it. It's just funny that you're shy about it. You know you can tell me, I don't really mind."

"Oh, if I ever feel the need to gossip I just talk to Ginny."

"Please, please, tell me she hasn't said anything about us."

She shrugged with a coy smile. I glared at her before she finally burst into a laugh, "No, don't worry. She hasn't said anything — much. Nothing I would be alarmed to hear. Why? Should I be concerned, Harry Potter?"

"No, you certainly don't need to give me the third degree, _Hermione Granger_." I said, deliberately mocking her tone.

She smiled at this, "Good. Though to be honest, I'm not sure how I would react if and when I find out you've had se— done that."

My previous blush had likely only been a little flush of pink, judging from the mild warmth I had felt. But now it suddenly felt like I was on fire. Her eyes widened even worse than they had when I told her that Ron still had remaining jealousy. "I'm pretty sure you haven't had sex with Ginny, so then who was it with? And when? You didn't cheat on her did you?" Her tone had shifted in so many ways in a few short seconds.

"No, I did not cheat on her."

"That doesn't answer the other two questions, Harry!" Hermione said, starting to almost sound hysterical. "When and who?"

I sighed deeply and stood up, running a hand through my hair. She waited patiently as I paced about the tent. "I'll tell you," I finally said, "But you need to promise me, on pain of death, that you will not tell Ron."

"Why?"

"Just promise me."

"I promise."

"Pain of death."

"I promise on pain of death that I will not tell Ron."

"I don't know whether or not I'll ever tell him, but if I do, it needs to be me that tells him anyway. Because, I promise you, he will lose his mind." I tried to explain.

She watched me pacing about frantically, "Who is it, Harry?"

I turned my back to her. I shut my eyes and inhaled the scent of the crisp fall air. A winter night came back to my memory for a half second before I banished it from my mind's eye. "Draco Malfoy."

Her gasp was audible, and when I turned back around her hands were over her mouth.

"See why I can't have you telling Ron?"

She nodded slowly, but still did not remove her hands to say a thing.

"Are you planning on saying something?" I asked cautiously.

She folded her hands in her lap and took a moment to breathe before finally speaking, "I obviously have a lot of questions."

"Oh, right, you wanted to know when. Twice. Once fifth year, in February. Once last year, about the second week of school."

"Well the list of questions grew a bit." She said casually, as if she was not completely overwhelmed by this information as she appeared to be.

"Fire away. I'll try to answer them." I said, moving to sit in one of the camp chairs.

"My main question is whether it was just — that — or if it was romance as well."

I couldn't help but smirk, "No, no romance. Just sex. I realize that makes me sound terrible, but it's the truth."

"That doesn't make you terrible, Harry. Don't say things like that."

"Next question, please." I murmured, trying to deflect away from myself.

"How do you feel about men in general then?"

"You mean, am I gay?"

"No, I meant what I said." Hermione clarified. "I could care less what you want to call it, I want to know what you think about men in general."

"Draco's the only man who I was ever attracted to. Trust me."

"Of course I trust you." She reassured before moving on, "Okay, another important one: Why?"

"Why indeed…" I said. My eyes lost focus of the world around me and the memories leaked into my mind's eye again without me wanting them to. "Well, the first time was kind of odd. He caught me coming back from an Occlumency lesson and he was going to turn me into Umbridge. Made me kiss him to get out of it. One thing lead to another. If it makes you feel any better it wasn't really sex."

"Meaning it wasn't penetrative?"

"Do me a favor and never say that word again." I winced. "But yeah, that's the gist of it. The second time wasn't ... that word either."

"You know, fear of a word only increases —"

"Oh shut it." I rolled my eyes.

She laughed, "Sorry. Why did it happen the second time?"

"I was trying to get information out of him, so I kind of used it to manipulate him. I had a suspicion he still had some interest in me, and I was right. So I took advantage of it to try and figure out what he was doing in the Room of Requirement all the time."

She shook her head, "Not one of your brightest decisions I take it?"

"Well, obviously it didn't work."

"For future reference, you probably don't want to have sex with someone in order to manipulate them." She felt the need to clarify.

"Yes, I know. Is that all of your questions then?"

She sighed and looked at me seriously, "No. I have just one more."

"Go ahead."

"Are you going to tell Ginny?"

I kept my eyes on her as I spoke, "Yes. Just not until things are … cooled down. Whatever that may mean. Whenever things are back to normal."

She let out a sigh of relief, "Good. She needs to know."

"You don't think she'll be mad do you?"

"It was before you were with her, before you really even knew you liked her. And you said yourself you had no feelings for him. Based on all of that, I don't think she's going to judge you or be mad." Hermione concluded logically.

" _You're_ not going to think differently of me are you?" I asked cautiously. She had seemed to handle it pretty well after the initial shock, but I couldn't tell for sure how she felt.

"Oh, Harry." She smiled with a little shake of her head, "It's going to take a lot more than you having sex with Draco Malfoy to get me to think less of you."

I couldn't help but laugh. It was nice to be able to laugh and smile with her. The days had been filled with too many wistful looks in the distance and too much sadness. We had desperately needed the laughter over my flings with Malfoy to ease the pressures of the whole situation. After our laughter subsided, I glanced at Hermione's bag. I had left the locket in there before we left, though I wasn't sure why. I gestured toward the bag, "I should probably keep it close. I'll take first watch for the night, yeah?"

She agreed and summoned the locket for me, tossing it over. I threw it on over my neck and stepped outside of the tent.


	7. Draco's Truth

**A/N: I am so immensely proud of this one. I really hope you all enjoy it! Also, there is a gratuitous Disney reference that my roommate forced me to put into this - brownie points for those who can spot it, and apologies to those who are annoyed by it.**

* * *

March 1998

 _He was so close to me that I could hear his breathing clearly. He leaned in and took me by surprise, kissing me first._

I snapped my eyes open and saw the ceiling above me, staring straight at my candle chandelier. I sat up straight in bed, resting my head in my hands and trying to recover myself. It was just a dream. A fantasy of an impossible world. Over the past several months, as things got worse and worse for me and my family, I had found myself haunted by him. Memories and fantasies commingled and made for many confusing nights. My insomnia had gotten worse over the years, but all I wanted to do these days was avoid everything and the only safe way to do that was to sleep. I would feign a headache or some other ailment and retreat to my bedroom to sleep, escaping the confines of my family. I'm sure that Bellatrix would have insisted I get over myself had it not been for my mother. She could see the bags under my eyes and always let me sleep when I asked. She would try to get me to take a Pepperup potion for her, but I would make it vanish when she wasn't looking.

When sleep managed to take me eventually I was riddled with these horrible dreams. The dreams themselves were pleasant enough, filled with sex and love. It was the way I felt upon waking from them that felt horrible. An overwhelming sense of dread would permeate my flesh when my eyes opened. I was clammy. My skin was hot and I trembled with chills. I felt like I was dying. I grabbed my wand off my nightstand and slowly pulled myself out of bed. When I stood the blood in my veins plunged to my feet. I felt my vision blur and I nearly fell to the floor. Orthostatic hypotension. I pushed through it and eventually my blood redistributed itself properly as I approached the door to my bedroom. I slowly opened it and headed into the empty hall. It was dark and silent. Chances were that nobody was actually asleep, but everyone was at least pretending we were. I concentrated intently on the magic in me and cast the _muffliato_ spell silently into the hall to prevent my footsteps from being heard.

I crept down the hall carefully nonetheless. Despite the massive size of my home, I still could navigate it with ease and remember every single door's hidden components. I gravitated to the end of the hall and touched my hand onto the head of the a gorgon statue that watched over the hall. I heard a soft click from a door to my right. As always, the room was now unlocked. I entered into it as quietly as possible and shut the door behind me, hearing its automatic click. I murmured my father's spell that he had taught me as a young boy. The reality of the room came into sight. What had initially appeared to be a broom closet transformed into a large space filled with dark objects. I did not know what each of them did. But I only came for one item in particular.

" _Accio pensieve_ ," I murmured, not wanting to have to sift through hundreds of objects, many of which were dangerous in one way or another.

A silver disk came floating toward me from the dark abyss of the room. It hovered until it was directly in front of me. It was empty but full at the same time. A clear, airy liquid was in it. I was not completely certain how to use the pensieve, though I had heard of them. It could be used to deposit memories. I touched my wand to my temple and focused on the memories in question. His skin pressed against mine. The heat between us. I focused on them intensely, despite the pain it caused me to do so. I slowly pulled my wand away and felt the memories slipping out. When I floated my wand over the pensieve I could see the glow of the memories twirling around the end of the wand. I tapped it gently and the slippery memories fell straight into the pensieve. I watched them go and let out a sigh of relief. I pushed the pensieve away from me, letting it float back to where it had come from. As quickly as I had appeared in the room, I slipped back out and headed back to my bedroom.

I laid back in my bed. I assumed that I still would be unable to sleep, but much to my surprise I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. When I rose again I was relieved to realize that none of my dreams had been darkened by his presence. I checked myself momentarily. Had the removal of the memories gotten rid of my feelings toward him? I forced myself to think of him, conjure up an innocent memory. The first thing that came to mind was the look of disdain on his face when I asked to be his friend when we were kids. My heart still hurt to remember it. I thought of how it felt to see him walk in the Great Hall with the female Weasley. My heart ached even worse at the thought. I sighed to myself as I started to get dressed. Despite removing the most graphic, the most sincere memories, I still had feelings for him. It was still a relief to be without those intense memories, but I longed to be rid of these foolish feelings.

As I started to head toward my door to start the day I heard footsteps approaching. I opened my door just as my father appeared in the doorway. Despite the fact that we were practically the same height, I still felt as if he towered over me.

"I need to speak with you."

"Is he coming today?" I asked curiously, suddenly alarmed at the possibility of the Dark Lord arriving unexpected. I preferred to be able to prepare myself for the terror of his presence.

"No. This is unrelated. Follow me." He said discourteously before turning and walking down the hall. I hurried to follow him, keeping five steps behind him at all times. I had no idea what he could possibly need to tell me, but I knew it couldn't be good. To my horror, he lead me in the same path I had taken last night. His hand touched the gorgon and he removed the enchantment from the room before making me enter with him. He shut the door and turned on me, "So, tell me Draco, are you simply an imbecile or are you _trying_ to cause problems?" I stared at him curiously, unsure of what to say. I had no idea what he was talking of, though I had a sneaking suspicion growing. When I did not respond his face contorted with anger and he used his wand to summon the pensieve. The wand was a shoddy, stolen wand from a snatcher, but nonetheless the pensieve came.

"Is it coming into place now, Draco?"

I couldn't breathe. I looked away, wondering if there was a portkey in here somewhere that could take me far away from here, anywhere but here.

"Draco! Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He roared and I was terrified he was going to hurt me, but he didn't.

I turned my head back toward him and his gaze was so cold it shot a chill down my spine. In that moment, I would rather Voldemort himself was torturing me. He nodded toward the pensieve, "Tell me, son. What's in there?"

I glanced toward the liquid air and saw my memories sloshing through it. I could not make anything out distinctly. "I'm not sure."

"Those are memories. Now, do you know how this pensieve works?" He asked with a calm level of fury.

"N-not really."

"Aha, so you just an imbecile. I suppose that makes up for it partially anyway." He said coolly, "Well, for future reference, a pensieve can only hold memories. It cannot destroy them. If one wishes to reflect on a memory they merely put it in the pensieve and lower themselves into the memory, as if reliving it. So what should I see when I woke this morn to check that everything is where it should be and see that it is in the wrong place? And furthermore, a memory is in it. Whose memory might it be, I thought." My blood turned into ice. I was surely frozen and dead. I wished I was dead. "So I took a look, curious to see who had been depositing their memories lately. And what should I happen to find but a charming memory of my _son_ in a compromising position with none other than our enemy?"

"I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't know." I started frantically stammering. I was shaking again, but it was not because my blood had sunk to my feet. It was sheer terror.

"It's not my fault you were a fool and let your memory float around." Lucius sneered. "Now, would you care to explain yourself? Have you been plotting against us? Trying to destroy what we have worked so hard to achieve?" I was actually unable to breathe now. I gasped for air, only able to come up with short bursts. He shoved me hard and I stumbled over some objects and fell. "Answer the questions!" He demanded as he physically towered over me.

"No, no. I'm not plotting, I swear. It was all a long time ago."

"When?" He spat back sharply.

"Last time was start of sixth year." I hurried to say as I slowly stood back up.

"How could you do this? How could you stoop so low?" He said dismissively. The look he gave me made it perfectly clear that I was now scum of the earth, an abomination in his eyes. I couldn't figure out if this was because I had slept with a man or because the man in question had been Harry Potter.

"I don't know," I muttered.

"Come now, Draco. Let's not lie to one another. Tell me the truth." He said maliciously.

It was the word 'truth' that snapped me out of it. Without really thinking about it, I started to get furious instead of fearful. "You want to know the truth?" I asked, my tone taking on the same inflection of cold bitterness that his had. I let a beat pass to see if he would reply, but he merely waited for me to continue. "The truth is that I didn't do it because of you. I did it because I wanted to. Because it felt good to matter, even if just for a second. It felt good to know that enemies can actually set things aside. Not that you would know a thing about that. No, I never told him a damn thing, though he tried to get me to confess to what I was up to that year. But I don't regret a fucking thing."

He slapped me across the face so hard it knocked me off balance. I tasted iron. The impact had cut the inside of my cheek against my teeth so sharply that I was bleeding. "Let me make one thing clear, Draco." He said cooly. "Whatever sordid history you may have with Harry Potter is over now. I hope you've come to terms with the fact that he will die very soon. He will not walk away victorious from this fight."

I regained my balance and stood up straight, looking him dead in the eye. "That isn't you talking. That's Bellatrix. You know we aren't going to come out of this for the better if he dies. Do you really think the Dark Lord is going to spare us? We have been skating on thin ice with him for years, father. Don't think it's going to change just because he wins the battle. If he wins we are going to be punished."

"No, Draco, just you. He will see into your mind and see that you've fraternized with the enemy and he will punish you first."

"You think he'll spare you or mum? Of course he won't. You haven't killed yourself to make him happy, so he will never view you as a loyal follower. We're all good as dead if he wins."

"And what, pray tell, do you think will happen if Potter wins?" Lucius hissed. "You'll skip off merrily into the sunset with him? Well, let me assure you that, should the worst happen and he survives, I will personally see to it that you never speak to him again. Your impulses will go away with time, I've no doubt."

I couldn't help but laugh, shaking my head. "Impulses? Father, I've fucked more than just Potter. It isn't just urges with him."

"Regardless, you're not to deign to speak to that boy at any point in the future."

"But father," I said slowly, doing my best to muster up the courage to speak the full truth. "I love him."

"You're lucky I refuse to use unforgivable curses against my own family." He said darkly.

"Go ahead, kill me. Torture me. Make me say I hate him to satisfy yourself. I really don't care. None of it will help you or me. Being outraged will do you no good."

"Perhaps, Draco. But what do you intend to do if the Dark Lord asks you to apprehend, turn over, torture, or kill Potter yourself?"

I swallowed hard at the reality of what he was saying. I seriously doubted that Voldemort would ever ask me to kill Potter. He was way too invested in getting his revenge to make me kill him. But it was not impossible to imagine that I would be asked to hurt him or bring him to Voldemort. "I would do what I was asked. I am loyal to neither. I would do what I believe is best to protect me and my family. In all likelihood that would mean doing what I'm told."

"I should hope. Perhaps you are not a complete disgrace if you still feel the inkling to defend your family." He condescended to say. "I'll keep your filthy secret between us for now. Should I feel the need to reveal it for the purpose of keeping our family safe, I will. But for now I doubt if you'll betray us. Is it safe to assume that you don't know his whereabouts?"

"No. I have no clue where he is."

"Good. I expect you to fight when the time comes, Draco. The family honor is more important than anything. I will not have your mistakes taint this honor."

"It won't, father." I assured him.

"Now take your memories back and get out." He said, throwing the pensieve my way. I withdrew my wand from my pocket and waved it through the swirling liquid air inside the shallow metal pensieve. The memory reattached itself to my wand and I withdrew it. I glanced at my father as I touched the tip of the wand to my temple. The memories fell back into place as my father looked at me with rage on his every feature. I pocketed my wand and walked away from him, storming out of the room quickly.

* * *

That day had already been particularly tense. Father looked a right mess, he hadn't shaved in days. Mom managed to look the picture of composure. Bellatrix just looked like her usual manic self. I tried to maintain my own sense of normalcy, wearing one of my all black suits. Voldemort was getting angrier every day. From time to time he would randomly kill a Death Eater out of spite. It was not clear what he was so furious about, aside from not having captured Potter yet. The pressure on our family seemed insurmountable. As time passed, I grew more and more convinced that things would be so much simpler if we were not Death Eaters. I was sitting at the desk in our drawing room, wondering whether or not it really mattered whether or not someone had only wizarding blood. I contemplated the fact that when we were all dead we would all look the same, we would all bleed red.

It was while I was considering this that Bellatrix peeked out of our curtain and saw someone approaching our gate from the distance. "Snatchers." She said briefly before disapparating out toward our gate. I didn't think much of it at the time. Snatchers came by all the time to bring news, give us people on the wanted lists, and ask for more payment. Every time they step foot in my home I felt a little filthier. They shouldn't have been there. This home used to be … well perhaps full of life is a misleading term, but I had happy memories here. And they were being tainted by these thieves and freaks. Bellatrix banged the front door open and shouted, "Draco!" She didn't need to demand I come at her beck and call, I already knew I had to. I stood quickly, unsure of what the fuss might be. Several snatchers entered the drawing room with her, dragging three people they had captured. I couldn't make any of them out just yet. Bellatrix grabbed at one and hauled him forward, forcing him to kneel on the floor. She crouched over and grabbed at his hair, pulling it back so he had to look up at me. She waited patiently.

It was him. I was overwhelmed with dread.

"Well?" She asked impatiently, "Is it him?"

His face was puffed up, no doubt from Granger thinking on her feet. But I would recognize those green eyes anywhere. "I can't be sure." This was exactly what I had said I wouldn't do. I was not going to betray my family. And yet, here I was. Doing just that. Lying to them about the identity of the puffed up boy.

Father appeared over my shoulder, grabbing my neck as if he wanted to strangle me. I wondered if he was going to. But his anger that he had exhibited upon finding out the truth of my history with Harry was gone and was replaced by something much worse: fear. He urged me to try looking harder, reminding me of the stakes. Perhaps he was right. If I turned him over, the Dark Lord just might forgive us of our sins. But I still doubted it. Bellatrix forced me closer, pleading with me and having me kneel in front of him. She reminded me what should happen if I was wrong, the grave consequences of misidentifying him. I was already certain it was him, but knowing that the lives of my entire family were on the line did not help.

I looked into his eyes. He was not fearful like I was. He was determined. Without saying a word, without even making any sort of facial movement, I could tell what he was trying to say. I wish I could say it was some bequest of love, but it wasn't. It was simply: Don't.

I tried to distract Bellatrix, "What's wrong with his face?"

This seemed to work. She moved to take Hermione's wand, wanting to check the last spell on it to see whether or not she was behind the stinging jinx that appeared to have blasted him. As soon as she walked away, I stood and stepped away from Harry. I wanted to rescue him. I wanted to apparate somewhere with him, anywhere but here. But I knew I couldn't, I knew it was impossible. I simply stood beside my father and tried not to jump when Bellatrix began attacking the snatchers violently, stealing her sword back from them. All I could do was stand there and watch as she brought Ron and Harry down to the cellar. I couldn't watch as she screamed at Hermione. My skin was crawling when I heard her scream. I didn't want to know what Bellatrix was doing to her. I knew what she was capable of, and I felt immense pain for Hermione in that moment. I hated that girl so much before, and I still did to an extent, but now I felt nothing but sympathy for her. She didn't deserve this. If I had been on the fence before about whether or not we were on the right side of history, there was no doubting it now. The good side didn't torture and kill without mercy.

I couldn't understand what Bellatrix was so outraged about. She had never told us she possessed the sword of Gryffindor, and for the life of me I could not think of a good reason as to why she would have it. She screamed at the goblin, demanding to know whether or not it was indeed the real sword of Gryffindor. I just wanted to know why she cared. What good would that sword do her? Did she just want to use it as an ironic weapon? Just as she was turning back to Hermione I heard shouting and spells were fired. It took me a second to register that, somehow, Ron and Harry had escaped. I should have known they would try and rescue Hermione, and frankly I was relieved that they did.

That is, until Harry cast a stunning spell that tossed my father back a good ten feet across the room. My mother appeared at my side and we both began casting spells at them. I put on a good show, but my spells were no more than body binding curses and stunning spells. I couldn't hurt Harry. I wouldn't. I had no anger left for him. He could not be blamed for what had happened to my family. If anything, only we could be blamed for it. Nonetheless, I didn't have to fight for long. With her knife held to Hermione's throat, Bellatrix managed to make them surrender their wands. I collected them as she demanded. My heart was racing as I stepped aside. Bellatrix simply said, "Call him."

I wasn't sure who she was even talking to. My eyes darted toward Harry. Again, he seemed to be silently imploring me to not do it. When none of us acted, she repeated herself. I did not roll up my sleeve. I wouldn't. I couldn't. But my father was not as resistant. He slowly rolled his sleeves up, his hand hovering above the deep black ink. I watched Harry closely. I desperately wanted him to make it out of this alive, but I didn't think it was remotely possible at this point.

And that was when I heard the faintest of squeaks. We all looked up just as the chandelier began to fall. Bellatrix screeched and dodged out of the way. I dropped to the floor, their wands still in my hands as I tried to cover myself from the glass shards flying all over. In the quickest of moments, Harry was in front of me. He reached for the wands and I let them go immediately. I didn't even bother resisting. I had not realized that he took my wand as well. My father moved to attack, but Harry stunned him again, shooting him out of the way. My ears were ringing, the whole situation overwhelming my mind. The next thing I knew, my old house elf was apparating with the whole lot of them as my aunt tossed her dagger at them. The dagger never hit the floor. It went with them. I hoped beyond all else that Harry was safe.

"Draco," Bellatrix said calmly as she walked over to me after they had disapparated. I was terrified she was going to torture me. "Come and help clean up this mess, eh?"

"What about…?"

"They'll get their reckoning for what they did to us, Draco. I'll see to it that they do. Don't you fret your pretty head." She assured me as she helped me to my feet. I knew that the day was coming. The day where it would come down to Voldemort and Harry. It felt closer than it ever had before and I was horrified of what may happen on that day.


	8. Harry's Forgiveness

**A/N: Apologies that this one is so short. I wanted to be sure to include this scene, but I hadn't realized it would be so brief! But don't worry, the next chapter makes up for this one's brevity.**

* * *

May 2nd, 1998

We stood in front of the empty wall in the fifth floor corridor. I sighed softly and thought three times _I need a place to hide_. The door revealed itself to us and we quickly entered. We searched around frantically for the diadem, splitting apart and going through the piles of trash to try and find the needle in the haystack. Just as I had spotted the diadem, just as I was reaching out for it -

"Well, well. What brings you here Potter?"

I turned around to face the three fools who had been trying to sabotage me since I arrived at this school. At the front was Malfoy, naturally. His mother's wand pointed at me. I wondered if he had the guts to actually hurt me. I doubted it. He tried to sound menacing, but it had no effect on me anymore. "Why didn't you tell Bellatrix it was me?" I spat back, changing the subject. His cronies seemed to be surprised by this. "What, you haven't told them? You knew it was me when Scabior dropped me at your doorstep. You could have turned me in. This would all be over. But you didn't."

A quiet look was exchanged between the two of us. It could not have been easier to see that he had not said anything because he didn't want me to face that fate. He didn't want me to be hurt anymore. Had he finally let go of his bitterness?

Hermione had abruptly turned into our section of the room and immediately shouted, " _Expelliarmus_!" At them. Both Draco and Goyle's wands clattered to the ground. Crabbe tried to send the killing curse toward her but he missed and it ricocheted off the tin that the diadem had been resting in. My eyes followed it as it fell toward the top of a hill of chairs and tossed junk. Draco and his cronies ran off and Ron chased them down. I didn't have time to pursue them or wonder whether or not Ron could handle them on his own. I only had time to worry about the diadem. I frantically scaled the mountain of rubbish, searching for it with Hermione. I finally happened upon it and gripped it tight in my fist. We slipped back down to the floor just as we heard Ron screaming, running back our way. "Goyle set the bloody place on fire!"

He ran off with Hermione. I stood stock still and watched as an orange glow appeared and was followed by a roaring. A fire shaped like a snake was coming directly toward us. I raced to follow Ron and Hermione, casting spells over my shoulder to try and stop it. _Aguamenti_ did nothing, neither did knocking over large piles of the trash to block its path. It came just the same, and no matter where we ran it seemed to be just behind. It started to surround us from all sides. By pure happenchance, we stumbled upon a row of broomsticks that had been left up here. Without hesitation, we hopped onto the brooms and soared over the fire as fast as we could. It still appeared to be nipping at our feet. The hills of miscellaneous garbage were beginning to come down in the fire. As we were heading for the door I happened to glance to the right and see Malfoy and Goyle standing on a massive pile of wood desks. They were going to be doomed.

"Ron!" I called out, pointing toward them.

"Are you completely mental?"

Without responding, I turned my broomstick over toward them. Draco reached his arm out toward me. I missed his hand by a few inches. I refused to leave him here to die. I swooped back around, this time Ron following just a foot or so behind. I flew toward Draco, and judging by the look in his eye he desperately wanted to survive this too. I flew lower this time, stretching my arm out for him. He grabbed on and hauled himself onto my broom in the blink of an eye. He held onto me for dear life as Ron picked Goyle up. The five of us headed for the massive doors of the Room of Requirement and barrelled out. The brooms began to lose power and we all fell off as soon as we were out of the room. The doors were still open. I took the diadem that I still had in my hand and tossed it into the room just as the doors began to shut themselves. The diadem evaporated into a crisp just as the doors slammed shut.

I gasped in shock as a pain filled my whole body. It felt like a weight had been lifted. I stood and tried to recover myself. Draco and Goyle were missing. They had run off. I didn't have any more time to worry about them now, though. I had far more important business to take care of.


	9. Draco's Battle

May 2nd, 1998

I had been trying to keep myself scarce through the battle. The bodies were piling up the in Great Hall. I sat in the courtyard with Goyle and Zabini, trying to be inconspicuous. There was rubble everywhere. My school had been shattered and fractured, left to die. I watched quietly from the shadows as Neville stepped out into the courtyard. He stepped through the debris and seemed to find the sorting hat among it. He picked it up and dusted it off. I heard a distant rumbling. I glanced up at the sky but it was clearing. That was when I noticed the crowd of people coming across the bridge toward us. Voldemort was leading them and I could just make out my parents in the crowd. As they walked into the courtyard I realized that Hagrid was carrying Harry Potter's limp body.

"Harry Potter is dead!" Voldemort cried victoriously as a crowd of several dozen began to appear. Ginny Weasley openly sobbed and the rest gasped audibly. Even McGonagall looked as if her worst fear had been realized. And me? I couldn't even cry. I couldn't scream. I just slowly stood to my feet, feeling cold as ice. A part of me felt broken.

I watched as Voldemort tried to persuade the crowd of Hogwarts students and staff that they would follow him, they would obey him. None of them volunteered to join his side. It was hardly surprising. An eerie silence filled the courtyard for a moment.

"Draco."

My eyes darted up and I saw my father and mother standing at the front of the crowd of Death Eaters now. My father's outstretched arm beckoned me. _Now_ I felt like crying. There was something desperate about them both that I couldn't quite read.

"Draco, come." My mother reiterated.

I reluctantly stepped forward, exposing myself in front of everyone I had attended school with as a traitor. I moved toward my parents, who immediately encircled me. My mother wrapped her arm around me and pulled me aside with her. "Everything's going to be alright, Draco darling." She assured me. It sounded like she meant that now that Harry was dead everything would work out between us and the Dark Lord, but I had a sneaking suspicion she meant something else entirely.

Neville suddenly spoke up. I turned around, now standing on the Death Eaters side, and listened to what he said. He actually stood up to Voldemort, confronting him with the kind of nobility and heroics that Harry used to exhibit. He managed to even convince me that they would win without Harry. Despite this, Voldemort continued to mock him, not taking him seriously. And that was when the sword of Gryffindor came out of the hat that he had picked up earlier. Just a beat later, and not more than ten feet from me, Harry rolled out of Hagrid's arms and fell to the floor. I glanced over and saw Harry suddenly start running. Swaths of Death Eaters began to disappear all around us, but all I could think was: _I'm never going to forgive him for scaring me like that_.

My father seemed horror struck, but mum was all business. She took my hand and started marching away from the chaos, pushing through the few Death Eaters that remained. "Where do you think you're going, Cissy?" Bellatrix cried angrily. She had been screaming at all of the vanishing followers as well.

"I'm going to _live_ , Bella." She spat back at her, "You can either kill me or let me go, your pick." But she didn't wait for her sister to respond, and continued walking on with me and my father. I could hear spells sparking behind us as we walked across the bridge. But we marched on, not caring to look back. Father reached out and took my other hand as my mother apparated. I felt myself being pulled alongside my family miles and miles. It was hardly the most painful thing I had felt that day. The fire at my ankles. The sight of Harry's supposedly dead body. Both were incalculably worse.

When my feet touched back down in front of our home, I collapsed to the ground. Mum crouched beside me, a hand on my back instantly, "You were so brave, Draco. We're safe now. Come on, up onto your feet now."

"Draco, it's alright." My father reassured me. "He's going to win."

"Who, father? Say it." I spat, rearing my head to look up at him.

"Harry is going to win this fight." He admitted, taking back his very own words.

This was what finally convinced me that this was reality. Not even in my wildest dreams could my father ever take back what he said or change his mind. I slowly stood. My mother wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her. Her grip on me was tighter than usual. I realized as I hugged her that she was crying. She let go of me a few seconds later, "I'm sorry. I — I thought you were dead. He told me you weren't. I had to let him live."

"What?" I asked in time with my father. Both of us were dumbstruck.

Her lips parted but shut again. It took her a moment to regain her composure before she told us the truth, "The Dark Lord had me check to see if he was dead. I knew he wasn't. I could tell immediately. But I really didn't care. I only cared if you were alive, my sweet." She said to me. "I asked him if you were alive. He nodded. Just the slightest bit. So I lied to the Dark Lord and told him that Potter was dead."

We all exchanged heavy looks. I had a feeling my father was not too happy about this. But, ultimately, we all knew that this brief decision on my mother's behalf had changed the entire course of the war, if not history itself. If Harry did win, it was going to be entirely thanks to her. She could have easily said he wasn't dead and Voldemort would have seen to it that he was good and dead forever.

"Why wasn't he dead?" I heard my father ask, almost as if to himself.

She shrugged, "You and I both saw the curse hit him. But I can promise you he wasn't dead. I don't know why, and frankly I don't care. I just want to get some rest and forget today." She said resolutely before turning away from us and walking to the house.

I turned and looked at my father. I wasn't sure what he was thinking anymore. "We're going to be okay, right?" I asked. I desperately needed his faith right now.

He nodded, "Yes. They can't hold us accountable. Especially given what your mother did for them. And we fled. We should be alright."

It wasn't quite what I meant, but it was reassuring to know that when the Ministry was repaired we might be spared from jail time.

"Are _you_ going to be alright?" He asked me cautiously.

I looked over at our house. It was such a massive place. It was filled with such darkness, and it was so much more than we ever needed. I privately wondered if my mother and father had once dreamt of filling it with children but had only been able to have me. It was a melancholy thought, but I couldn't help but think it true. My eyes flicked back to my father, "Vincent's dead." I said simply. This didn't seem to phase him at all. I continued on, "He cast fiendfyre. It consumed the Room of Requirement. He was trying to kill Harry and his friends. It nearly killed us instead. Harry and Ron rescued Goyle and I. I suppose it's fitting that mum saved his life, considering he saved mine."

"He did that?" He frowned in disbelief.

"Of course he did. That's who he is. It has nothing to do with me. He would have saved pretty much anyone from that situation, except maybe Voldemort."

"Don't say his name yet, son. It might still be cursed."

"I don't see him anywhere." I said simply. "I doubt it's cursed anymore."

He nodded slowly. "Well. I suppose I'll have to thank him some day for what he did for you." He laughed dryly, "If he does win, I'll invite him to dinner."

I smiled weakly, knowing he didn't mean it.

"Come, son. Let's get some rest." He suggested, gesturing for me to follow him inside. His appearance was already improving.

"Do you think Bellatrix will be coming home later?" I asked softly as we walked side by side down the cobblestone sidewalk that lead to our front door.

He sighed softly, "I'm not sure. If she does make it out, she's going to be locked up again. It's probably safe to assume you won't see her again."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything, son." He said genially. It amazed me how much softer he had already grown, and Voldemort probably wasn't even dead yet. I had started to doubt that the loving father from my childhood still existed, but he seemed to be making a comeback.

"I wouldn't mind never seeing Bellatrix again."

He glanced at me wistfully and smiled, "I won't tell mum if you don't."

"Deal." I agreed as we headed inside.

…

The next day was surreal. The sun rose and shined through my window. I suddenly was no longer fond of the darkness of my room, and of my home in general. The thought of living here much longer was somewhat unpleasant. I wanted to move on from the shadows that lurked the halls and rooms of the manor. But, for today at least, the sun was trying to brighten everything for us. I put on a new, crisp suit before heading downstairs. I headed into the dining room and found my parents sitting at one end of the long stretch of table. Not that long ago, a woman had died above this table. Not too long ago, my father had had his spirit crushed and his wand stolen here. They were eating. It was only when I saw the toast on their plates that I realized just how hungry I was. The audible grumbling of my stomach gave them notice that I had entered the room. My mum turned to me, "Oh, Draco, darling. You must be starving. Come, sit, I made you some food. Well, the house elf made it, but nonetheless. I had her make your favorite." She gestured to the seat beside her. The plate had a massive Belgian waffle covered in powdered sugar and strawberries on it.

I smiled warmly toward her and sat. It was unbelievable. It was as if nothing had happened. It was almost easy to pretend that the past several years had not been living hell. I was about to eat my food when I realized that there was still an unanswered question. I looked up at my father expectantly. I opened my mouth to ask, but before the words could come out my father gave me the answers.

"Harry defeated Voldemort." It amazed me he was able to say the name. "We are all very fortunate to have been freed. Though it does come with the pain of losing your aunt." He said simply. I glanced at mum, but she had looked down and shook her head. I turned my eyes to father and we exchanged a silent conversation to be touchy on the subject and sensitive to mother's feelings about it. She may not have agreed with her sister's convictions at the end, but they had grown up together. That had to mean something.

The reality of the first statement, however, washed over me in a deluge of relief. I had fallen asleep the night prior only because of sheer and total exhaustion. My mind had decided to reenact nightmares of mine during the night, however. I kept seeing Harry's dead body over and over again. The terror was gone now, though. The nightmares had not come true. Neither had the dreams, of course. But I wondered, pathetically, if there was still a chance. I finished the food quickly, suddenly filled with a purpose and intent. I was drunk with hope, a foreign feeling. I had absolutely no reason to think that anything was possible. No reason to hope. But the least I could do was tell him the truth. It was the least he deserved for what he had done for all of us. As soon as I had finished eating, I rushed off to the third floor of the house. We had a small turret of the house that we had turned into a makeshift sort of owlery. We each had our own owl, so it wasn't totally useless and it was easier than having them fly wildly about the house.

I stopped short of the door to the owlery and realized I had to actually write something first. I turned around and headed into one of the many offices and sat down at the desk. I grabbed a peacock quill, the feather having been plucked from one of the many that wandered our grounds, and started to write a letter out as fast as I could. The ink splotched the page in a few spots. I was too thrilled to write patiently.

 _Harry,_

 _Thank you. I am forever in your debt for what you did. Not just for saving all of us, but specifically for rescuing me from the fiendfyre. If you ever wish to cash in on this debt, just say the word. I'll be there._

 _Given what you have done for me, I feel you are owed a scrap of truth. You were right to suspect me throughout school. I was never up to any good, that much is true. I'm sorry for the grief I have caused you. But you deserve to know why I always gave you a hard time. Even when we were just boys, I always wanted your attention. I wanted nothing more than to be your friend. I imagined that with you as a friend, we could accomplish anything. I still believe this would have been true. That being said, this desire to be your friend, changed with time. I can't say for sure, but I believe it was around fourth year that I thought of you differently. I apologize for the awkward position I put you in fifth year. But I do not apologize for it happening, and I do not regret it for a moment. Just as I equally do not regret the occurrence during our sixth year._

 _I'm well aware that this is likely not what you want to hear. But it's the truth, and you deserve that much._

 _I love you._

 _Do with this information what you will, I don't mind either way. One way or another, I'll stay out of your way if that's what you wish me to do._

 _Last but not least, I formally apologize for every insult I ever said to you or your friends. If there's anything this war has done, it's put things in perspective. Blood status seems somewhat irrelevant now._

 _If I never see you again, just know that I wish you and your friends well._

 _Yours,_

 _Draco Malfoy_

I rolled the parchment up and tied it up with a scrap of black ribbon. With my heart racing, I headed into the owlery. "Reg!" I called out. The massive eagle out came swooping down from high up. He was a beautiful creature, and I loved him dearly. My parents had named him Reginald, but I had always thought it was a silly name for an owl. He was much more of a Reg. He patiently held a leg out for me and I tied the scroll around his ankle. I grabbed a small handful of seed from a table of supplies on the wall and held it out to him. He took several bites of food as I pet his feathers on his back. "Take that to Harry Potter, will you?" After he finished his meal he seemed to almost nod before swooping out the open window. I watched him go and sighed to myself. I had no idea how he would react. But it didn't matter. What mattered was that he knew.

I turned and headed out of the owlery, walking about aimlessly. As I wandered, it occurred to me that freedom from this life meant that I could actually have a future. I had to find something to do with myself now. I headed out the front doors and breathed in the air. It was getting warm out again. I walked slowly around the manse. I watched a few peacocks milling about. Such superfluous creatures. I wondered if they felt trapped here, if they would rather be where they belonged. I wondered, briefly, where I belonged in this world now. This may have frightened me on any other day. But the sun was bright, the air was refreshing, and the ability to choose my own path seemed more thrilling than it did scary. In that brief moment I knew I was going to be fine, no matter what happened.

* * *

 _A/N: Soundtrack for this chapter: Good Riddance (Time of your Life) - Green Day.  
_


	10. Harry's Response

May 7th, 1998

The letter took several days to get to me. I was at the Burrow when the massive eagle owl landed on the open window sill of the kitchen while we were all eating dinner. We all jumped in surprise.

"Who's owl is that?" Ron asked.

"That's Draco Malfoy's." Hermione said.

"How do you know that?" He asked quickly.

"It was the biggest owl of anyone in our school and I happened to notice it always landed where he sat." She said simply.

"How can anyone remember that kind of detail?" He asked curiously, more astounded by her memory than the owl.

When nobody had gone to retrieve the letter from the owl, it flew into the room and plopped itself in front of my plate, just barely avoiding stepping into my food. It held its leg out with a great deal of insistence. "What an aggressive bird," Molly remarked. I finally reached out and removed the bit of parchment from his leg. I gave him a chunk of my roll to compensate him before he flew back out through the window.

"What's it say?" Ron and Ginny asked simultaneously.

I put the scroll in my pocket, "Dunno, I'll read it later."

"You're not curious as to why Draco Malfoy of all people is writing you?" Hermione inquired, giving me an odd look.

"I'm more hungry than I am curious." I admitted. This seemed to amuse them enough to distract them from the letter. We ate through the meal quietly. It had been a hard time for the Weasley family since the war ended. Hermione and I had more or less moved in for a while. Molly and Arthur didn't seem to mind. They knew we were sharing bedrooms, they didn't care. They were a little preoccupied with their grief. When night had fallen and we had all had about five servings of Molly's cooking, I asked Ginny if she would like to take a walk with me. We'd done this multiple time since the war ended. She helped me through my survivor's guilt during most of these walks. But this was going to be a different conversation altogether.

"How're you doing?" She asked as we started wandering around the backyard.

"Better. Not perfect yet, but I'm better." I assured her. "Listen, would you mind if I read this letter really quick?"

"Can it wait?"

"Something tells me its contents are going to be directly relevant to you anyway, so it might be a good idea to read it now and then we can talk about it," I explained.

She gave me a curious expression but agreed to it. I took the letter out of my pocket and unravelled it, reading it quickly. Its contents did not surprise me — at first. Then I read the simple three words. I had strongly suspected he had feelings for me, but I had no idea that he actually loved me. It was both flattering and heart breaking. I rolled the parchment back up and put it in my pocket again. "So, I'm really not sure how to say this."

"Just say it," She said. She always made it clear that she was happy to hear anything that I might say.

"Before I started to realize my feelings for you, I had a couple of flings with Draco." I had always thought this moment would be difficult. That it would be next to impossible to spit the words out. In many ways it had felt more uncomfortable telling Hermione than it was to tell Ginny. I let the words just tumble right out of my mouth, as if their meaning was not incredibly significant.

She coughed abruptly, as if the surprise had cut off her breathing supply. I stopped walking and watched her carefully. She looked at me in shock for a little while, but eventually her expression started to shift. She sighed, "What do you mean by flings?"

"I won't give you graphic details, but we had sexual interactions." I wondered if I was actually anxious but it was manifesting in an unnerving calm. Perhaps I had finally come to terms with the fact that it had happened, and that it wasn't the end of the world.

"That's what I thought." She said. She glanced away from me and smiled dryly as she ran a hand through her hair, "I'm just surprised, I'm not even that mad. I get it. We both have our exes that effect us. But they don't really matter to us anymore. Right? I don't think about Dean. Do you think about Draco?"

"No. Not at all," I assured her. Not until his owl came crashing into the Burrow had I really paid any thought to him since we both nearly died in the fiendfyre. It hadn't been relevant to pay any mind to him.

"So what's the letter about then?"

I smiled dryly and sighed, "Well, I might not think about him anymore, but he still think about me apparently. He said he loves me."

Rather than being offended or assuming a sort of competition, she sighed. She looked sympathetic. "Oh. Poor thing. I know what that feels like, to love Harry when he doesn't even know it. What are you going to tell him?" She asked, reaching out and taking my hands in hers. She was taking this far better than I expected her to.

"I don't think I'm going to say anything. I think he knows that it's not mutual. He said he doesn't care how I respond to the letter, so I'm just going to leave it be. I doubt I'll ever see him again anyway, and if I do it's better that the past is in the past."

"That's a good policy to have," She agreed, not being so subtle about the fact that she was scooting closer to me.

"Ginny, what are you doing?"

"Nooothing," She giggled, swinging our arms back and forth as she eased forward.

"Ginny," I laughed as she continued with this pattern.

"What, do I not flirt as well as Draco?"

"Oh, Merlin, you're going to give me so much grief over this, aren't you?"

"You bet," She assured me, now close enough that we were nose to nose. "What did you see in him anyway? He's so rude."

"I didn't really see anything. I was just stupid." I shrugged nonchalantly, moving one of her hands to my shoulder and my hand to her waist. We ambled around the yard, slowly but surely dancing in repetitive circles.

She smiled, "Well that's reassuring."

"Why's that?"

"I was … just a little worried there was some commonality between me and him. I didn't want that to be the case."

"You couldn't less alike if you tried." I reminded her. "Can I tell you something else?"

"Oh don't tell me you shagged Neville."

"Oh, quit it." I rolled my eyes, "It's serious, do you want to hear it or not?"

She smiled, "Alright, out with it then."

I stopped dancing with her briefly, though I still held her close and looked into her eyes, "When I went into the forest, when I stood in front of Voldemort and was waiting to die, the last thing I thought before the spell hit me was you. I thought of our last kiss together."

Her playful demeanor diminished dramatically and she only managed to blink a few times in response. "I was the last thing on your mind before …?"

"I died? Yes."

"Are you just saying that to get me to fool around with you?" She asked suspiciously.

"Of course not!" I said, slightly taken aback that she would assume such a thing. "I genuinely mean it. I have no ulterior motive. I just wanted you to know."

She wrapped her arms around me and leaned up to kiss me. When she pulled back a moment or two later she simply muttered, "You're too good for this world, Harry Potter."


	11. Draco's Surprise

September 2001

I had just gotten off my shift at St. Mungo's and was lying around reading the paper when I heard the knock at the door, around ten in the evening. I had only been living in London for a few months now, but I had already grown used to my new home. It was a really overpriced house, but I had been able to afford it of course. My parents had visited once or twice, but nobody else. I had lost touch with Goyle since the war, mostly because he and his father had been imprisoned. Whatever friends I thought I had in school were no longer around. So now I lived alone with nobody but Reg to keep me company. Which is why the knock on my door struck me as particularly unsettling. I wondered if it was just someone with the wrong address. I folded my paper up and threw it on the dining table before I went and opened the door to see who was calling at such a late hour.

If I was more prone to drama, perhaps I would have audibly gasped. But all I did was raise my eyebrows, "Harry?"

Sure enough, the boy wonder stood at my doorstep. "Hey. Can I come in?"

"Not here to search my house, are you?" I asked cautiously. The Ministry had already checked my father's home, and had not been able to get past his enchantments. I wondered if he was doing an extra inspection on my home as well.

"Do I really look like I'm on the job?" He asked with weak sarcasm. True enough, he was wearing nothing but his ratty hoodie and the blue shirt that I was pretty confident he had been wearing since he was fifteen years old.

"Fair enough. Come on in," I said, standing aside and holding the door open for him.

He slipped in and I shut the door. It had been three years since I had sent him a letter professing my love to him. It hadn't really surprised me that he never said anything back. For a while I convinced myself that it had gotten lost in the mail, but when Reg returned home I knew he must have read the letter. It was hard at first, but eventually I tucked my emotions in a nice box and left them there so that I could move on with my life. I had taken my NEWTs independently and had become a healer. I was surprisingly good at it. After all the hurt and pain I had caused a number of people in my time at Hogwarts, I felt that the least I could do would be to help other witches and wizards, a sort of shift in my karma. As if such a thing were real. This was the first I had physically seen of him since he had saved our lives during the Battle at Hogwarts. We hadn't spoken since we last stood in the Room of Requirement, trying to escape the fiendfyre.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing here?" I asked, turning to face him. He had wandered halfway down the hall toward the living room. I followed him down the hall and watched him move to sit on the sofa.

"I — I needed to talk to you." He said simply, propping his elbows on his knees and looking down at the dark hardwood floor.

"What about?" I asked, sitting in a chair opposite of him. I didn't feel totally comfortable sitting beside him. Not that I didn't want to, but I suspected it wasn't what he wanted.

He ran a hand through his hair roughly. Despite his age, his hair was still a complete mess at all times. "Well, I don't really know how to go about saying this."

"Trust me, whatever it is, I can handle it," I said.

Harry took a deep breath and looked up at me, "Ginny and I got in a really bad fight. Screaming and yelling. And I stood there and I felt this brief flash of rage and I almost … I almost hit her. And it terrified me. I — I didn't know who I could tell. Didn't know who to turn to. I just apparated out here. It dawned on me that there was at least one person I knew who could understand without judgement."

"How did you even find my house?"

He shrugged, "I'd heard you'd started working at St. Mungo's. I went in and asked where I could find you and someone sent me the right way."

"So you came to find me after three years of silence and no communication, hoping that I would help you work through your momentary rage with your girlfriend?" I reiterated.

He frowned, "Well that makes me sound like a right arse, doesn't it?"

This brought a small smile to my lips, "A little, but to be fair I was an ass to you for most of our lives. And I owe you one for saving my life anyway."

"You don't owe me anything. Even if you did, that doesn't justify me ignoring you and then begging for help at the drop of a hat. I just didn't know who to turn to. I don't think Ron or Hermione would be able to hear me out or totally understand what I'm going through," He explained.

"And you thought I would know?"

He seemed a bit embarrassed now, looking away from me, "Well, I thought since you used to work with some of the darkest people...you've seen and done terrible things. You know what it's like to have that compulsion for darkness."

"Fair enough," I admitted. He had made a safe assumption. "What were you two fighting about anyway?"

He grimaced at this. He kept fiddling with his hands, picking at the cuticles around his nails, ringing his hands together as if trying to squeeze the blood out of them. "Well, it requires a bit of background."

"I've got plenty of time," I said, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms.

"After the battle, Hogwarts reopened and Ginny had to go back for her last year. Minerva wanted to keep a semblance of normalcy while the school was being repaired and made an effort to make sure Quidditch continued. Of course, Ginny was Captain of the team. I went to their first game with the family and she got hit by a bludger in the head. She fell from her broom a good forty feet. Nobody was able to stop her in time because it happened too quickly. They rushed her to the hospital wing. Her skull was broken. She was fine, Pomfrey fixed her up quicker than I ever thought possible." In my head I wondered why he thought a broken skull was much to worry about, having handled it a dozen times myself. Wizards were a right reckless folk. "You have to understand, I grew up in the muggle world where a cracked skull spelled out your death. I thought I was going to lose her." It was almost as if he had read my mind. I simply nodded and let him continue. "All that being said, after she finished school she started working for the _Prophet_ for a little while. Well, just last week, apparently, the Captain of the Holyhead Harpies came to her and asked if she wanted to join their team. She brought it up to me and … I told her I didn't want her to join. She was furious. She knew why I didn't want her to do it, of course, but she interpreted it as my assumption that she was weak. Which isn't it at all. I just want her to be safe. It's pretty ironic that while we were arguing about this I got the urge to compromise her safety." He shook his head, clearly angry with himself now. "I just don't know what to do."

He grew silent and his head drooped. His shaggy hair covered his face and I couldn't help but wonder if he was crying. I waited a beat before finally speaking, "I'm sorry, Harry. You're clearly shaken up over this."

"No shit," He muttered. "I thought I was going to be fine. My connection with Tom Riddle's been severed. I shouldn't have any lingering darkness from him left in me. He literally killed it."

"With the horcrux and all that? I read something about it in the paper not long after the battle."

"I wanted to make sure people understood and didn't try to come up with ridiculous rumors as to what happened in the forest," Harry explained. He had gone to the _Prophet_ and wrote an op-ed for them, and it made the front page. The entirety of the wizarding world now knew the truth of how Voldemort had met his demise.

"So now you're worried something may have gone wrong, that you might still have a bit of him left in you?"

He looked up at me again, nodding slowly. I could see the look of fear in his eyes clear as day. He was scared of himself. I knew the feeling well. My expression relaxed and I made a point of speaking softly, "Harry, just because you think of hurting someone does not mean that you have residual evil left in you."

"So I'm just a bad person? Independent of Riddle?"

"That's not what I'm saying," I said. "You are not a bad person for thinking such things. It's human. Everyone, muggles and wizards alike, have the impulse for violence from time to time. What matters is that you didn't act on it. The fact that you knew it was a terrible thing to do proves that you are better than you give yourself credit for. Your first response to an inkling of violence was to run away from the feeling and seek help. Now tell me, what part of that seems like something an 'evil' person would do?"

He slowly shook his head. "I suppose you may have a point."

"It's been known to happen on occasion." I smiled.

He made direct eye contact with me, taking me a bit by surprise, "You think I'm alright then? You don't think I'd do anything like that?"

"Of course you wouldn't. If the impulse ever arises again you'll just stop yourself. I have known you for years Harry, and I know that physically hurting other people is near impossible for you."

He smiled my way, "Thank you, Draco. That means a lot."

"Don't get used to it, Potter." I said light heartedly as I stood, assuming he was going to be leaving at any minute.

"Listen," He said as he still sat firmly on the couch, "Would it be alright if I just laid low here tonight? I don't think Ginny will have cooled down just yet."

This surprised me a bit, but I didn't let it show. "Oh, sure. I don't mind." I slipped my wand out of my pocket and summoned a few blankets from the linen closet in the hall. I let them fall beside him on the couch. "Let me know if you need anything." I said simply, starting to turn toward the hall.

"Draco?" He asked gently.

I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. A weird sense of deja vu fell over me.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." I turned back around and headed upstairs to bed.


	12. Harry's Calamity

The Next Morning

I woke in the morning to the sound of a whistle. I listened closer to realize it was just a kettle. I slowly sat up on the surprisingly comfortable sofa. I checked my surroundings and remembered that I had fallen asleep at Draco's. What an odd thought. His home reminded me a lot of the manor he had once lived in, though it was a bit lighter. The windows were kept open, the walls were pristinely white, and despite the general darkness of all of the furniture, the room seemed more full of life than his previous home ever had. I ran a hand through my hair to push it out of my face as I stood. I carefully folded the blankets and put them on one end of the sofa. I didn't assume Draco was awake. I had a feeling the kettle was being magicked, or worse, he had a house elf that made it for him every morning. So I slipped my shoes back on and started down the hallway, glancing into the kitchen as I walked by it. I stopped short when I realized Draco was awake and making the tea himself.

"Heading out?" He asked without looking up.

"Yeah, I should get home to her."

"You should," He agreed patiently. "But if you wanted to grab some food before you left, I wouldn't say no."

I glanced behind him and noticed the dining table at the other end of the kitchen. There were two mugs sitting across from each other, each with a bag of Earl Grey waiting inside of them. He planned for me to stay for breakfast. I wondered, briefly, what his motive could be behind this. Perhaps this was the olive branch that we had been needing all these years. "Sure," I said. I slipped into the narrow galley kitchen and walked past him, making a beeline for the table. As I sat down I heard toast pop on the counter behind Draco, who was looking in his refrigerator for something. Without looking, he grabbed his wand from his pocket and casually flicked it in the direction of the toaster. The toast floated through the air toward me, landing on a little plate in front of me.

"Marmalade or jam?" He asked, head deep in the fridge.

"Marmalade," I took my own wand out, summoning the now boiled water from the stove top and carefully having it pour into my cup. Sometimes I forgot that magic could be used for the simplest of things. Even after all these years of being in the magical world, I still felt the impulse to just do everything the muggle way. I still got a little thrill out of it when simple magic like this was performed. It was wonderful. Without being asked, I poured water into his cup as well before returning the now empty kettle to the stove.

Draco placed a small mason jar of marmalade in front of me and moved to sit across from me with his own jar of jam. Magic swirled about us: knives easily brushing the fruit spreads across our toast, spoon stirring the tea, the tea bags vanishing when they had fulfilled their purpose, cubes of sugar dropping into the warm liquids and evaporating quickly. We did this with little thought. The menial tasks finished, I cradled my cup of tea in my hands. I looked up at him just as I was raising the cup up to my lips. He happened to look up at the same time. "This is really weird," I commented casually before taking a sip of my tea.

"If you had told twelve year old me that I would be having breakfast with you someday I probably wouldn't have believed it," Draco commented.

"Me neither. I probably would have gotten angry for simply insinuating it was possible."

"Yeah, you never liked me. Can't say I blame you though," He admitted.

"You were a right git most of the time." I teased good naturedly, taking a bite of my marmalade slathered toast. "Remember when everyone thought I was the heir of Slytherin and you got jealous that I got all of the attention for it?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Yes. How did you know that?"

"Oh, remember that one night where Crabbe and Goyle acted really weird? Stomachaches and all that early in the school year?" I asked, smiling to myself knowingly.

"Vaguely, why?"

"Well, that was me and Ron."

"What are you talking about?" He said with total disbelief.

"Well, we suspected you were the heir of Slytherin. So Hermione helped us brew Polyjuice potion and we knocked your friends out, shoved 'em in a broom closet, and put their hairs in our polyjuice potion. It was sort of hilarious to see you acting all smug in front of the people you thought were your closest friends."

He dropped the crust of his toast back onto his plate and shook his head, "You arse. You spied on me in my own common room," He said with a smile.

"Yeah, and you never were the wiser."

"How the hell did Granger make Polyjuice in her second year?"

"They don't say she's the smartest witch of her age for nothing."

"Obviously the statement proves true," He said with a mild tone of surprise. "You're lucky to have her as a friend."

"I know it. I'm pretty sure I would have died a long time ago if not for her. I know I never would have defeated Riddle without her," I said earnestly.

Draco said nothing to this, opting to finish his food instead. He stood, casting a spell on the dishes. They floated in the air as they cleaned themselves, eventually tucking themselves in place in the cabinets. "Well, I have to head to work soon here, Harry."

"Right, of course. I'll go," I said quickly, realizing I was probably overstaying my welcome.

"It's fine, you can stay here as long as you like. It's not like I don't trust you in my own home, Harry. If you need to stay longer you can," He assured me.

"That's very kind, but I should go. She'll be worrying right about now." I explained. "Thank you for letting me stay, and feeding me. It was more than I would have expected."

"Good to know I can surpass your expectations." He smiled as he leaned in the entryway of the kitchen, looking at me fondly.

"Right, well," I said awkwardly, "I'll see you later?"

"Will you?" He asked before I even had a chance to apparate away.

This caught me off guard, "I — I don't know. Probably."

He shrugged like he didn't care either way, "Alright then. Bye now."

I turned quickly in his kitchen, apparating from London back to my home with Ginny in a small rural town. I landed just outside our front door. It wasn't much of a home. Just a tiny cottage in the midst of many hills. We had just purchased it. Well, I had purchased it. I still had most of my parent's inheritance and I had used much of it to buy us our own place after she graduated. Nobody had been particularly happy about the decision at the time, and now after this fight I couldn't help but wonder if they were right to think that we had moved in too soon.

I headed to the front door but it swung open before I could knock.

Ginny stood in the doorway. Her eyes were swollen and red.

"Hello," I started.

"I couldn't sleep for worrying about where you were and whether or not you were safe and all you can say is 'hello'?" Ginny accused angrily. I realized that I had seen this play out before. I had just made the same mistake Ron had made with Hermione.

"Shit, sorry. I should have known better. Can I try that again?"

Ginny sighed, "Yeah. Alright." She shut the door on me and opened it again a few moments later.

"I'm so sorry," I said as soon as the door began to crack open. "I shouldn't have run away in the middle of an argument. I'm not sorry for my opinion, but I'm sorry if I inadvertently hurt your feelings with it."

She crossed her arms across her chest and walked out to meet me, letting the door close behind her. She stood closer to me, but still out of arm's reach. "Do you think I'm weak?"

"Of course not. You're one of the strongest people I know," I insisted.

"Then why are you so worried about me getting hurt if I go to play Quidditch?"

"I watched your skull break on the pitch. I thought you were going to die."

"Why would I die?" She asked, genuinely puzzled.

"In the muggle world, that injury would have killed you. My instinctual fear was that you were going to die. That's why I was so … protective after that happened."

"And that's why you don't want me to go out for Quidditch professionally?"

"Yes. But if it is what you truly want, I will support you. Not that I can stop you from doing what you want, of course. But I'll set my opinions aside for you. I'll come to every single match and be the biggest supporter the team has ever had, I promise you that."

She hesitated a moment before muttering, "You really mean it?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to tell her yes. I'm going to join her team."

I smiled, "All I care about is your happiness. If it makes you happy, then you should."

"It will make me happy," She said, "But not as happy as having you home makes me."

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. Her arms encircled me and her chin rested on my shoulder. "I love you," I murmured as I ran my hand over her hair down her back. It was like silk, as always.

"I love you too," She said sweetly, pulling back to kiss me. When we finally pulled apart she took my hand and we headed inside. "So, where did you go last night? I asked Ron and Hermione, but they said you weren't with them. You didn't go to my mother, did you?"

I laughed a little at that, "No. That wouldn't have been fair. I, uh, I actually went to Draco's place, in London."

Just as we were about to walk through the door she stopped in her tracks. She turned to face me. She stood in the doorway again, and I stood just outside it. "You — you went to see Malfoy?"

"Yes. What's the matter?"

"We get in a fight and you go spend the night at what is effectively your ex's house?"

"I mean — I guess, technically. But I don't really think of him like that."

"Did you sleep with him?" She asked, suddenly enraged again.

"No!" I shouted back, stunned she would accuse me of such a thing. "I would never cheat on you, Ginny. Why on earth would you think that? I went to him because —" I cut myself off.

"Yes, exactly why did you leave in the middle of our fight to go to Draco's?"

This put me in a tight spot. But I knew she would be more furious if I didn't tell her the absolute truth. "I got so angry, Ginny. We were screaming so loud and I just kept getting angrier. And I had this terrifying impulse of violence. It scared the hell out of me. I honestly was worried I had remnants of the horcrux leftover or some part of Riddle still in me. So I went to him. Because I figured that he of all people would know what it's like to have such terrible thoughts."

"You're a moron Harry Potter," Her voice trembled and her eyes were red again. I could actually see the tears welling up. I had no idea what I had done. "You didn't once think that I might understand? How can you be so thick? How many times do I have to remind you that I remember what it feels like to have Tom Riddle in my head? You could have told me, Harry!" Her volume kept rising the more she talked, "I would have understood. But instead you chose to run away from me straight into a former lover's arms?"

"It wasn't like that, Ginny —" I tried to explain frantically.

"It is exactly like that. That is what you did. You didn't feel like you could trust me with what you were thinking, so you went to someone else. And not just anyone else, oh no, the only other person you've ever had sex with. But why should I be worried? You're innocent as always. Can't do a thing wrong by your standards."

"How could I tell you that I got so angry I wanted to hurt you? And it wasn't like I thought it out logically before making a decision. It was just the first thing I thought of."

It turned out that this was the worst thing I could have said in that moment. The tears fell down her cheeks fast and hard. "Your first thought was to talk to him, not me. He was your instinct, the first person you thought to turn to."

"Ginny,"

"No. Just go, Harry. Go back to him. He's the one you really want apparently."

"No, that's not it at all," I tried to argue but she stepped fully into the house and slammed the door in my face. I tried knocking on the door and talking to her, but I had a feeling that she had cast a silencing charm on the door to shut me out in all possible ways. After a solid hour of this begging and pleading, I gave up. I slumped against the door, covering my face with my hands. My heart was racing and I could feel myself shaking slightly with panic. She had just turned me out. Last time I had run off. But now I had officially been told to get out. And this time, I didn't have a valid excuse as to my behavior. I didn't think her outrage was quite so justified, but it broke my heart to know that she thought that I preferred Draco over her. It was hardly the case. He was … well, I didn't know what he was to me. But she was the one I loved. Not Draco. I doubted I could ever care about Draco the way that I cared about Ginny.

But now I was in the same situation as before. I had nobody to go to, again. Ron and Hermione would likely take sides in it and the fight would extend to them. It would become a whole mess. I certainly couldn't stay with Molly and Arthur, and I had no other resemblance of family aside from the Weasleys. I stood and apparated right back to the place I had left just a couple of hours before.

I appeared on his doorstep, but remembered that he was likely at work all day. It was only ten. I apparated back into my house. Ginny was not in the room that I appeared in, our bedroom. I scrambled a bag together, slipping on my invisibility cloak. I thought of apparating then and there, but my curiosity got the best of me. I slipped out of our room and headed into the hall. I heard her crying almost instantly. I stepped soundlessly into the living room and saw her curled up on the couch. She held one of the throw pillows in her arms. Her hair was plastered across her face as she sobbed hopelessly.

I felt a pain not unlike the pain I felt each time one of the horcruxes was killed. It was an immense, unbearable feeling. I quietly stepped back out of the room, slinking back into our bedroom and apparating there where she would not hear the pop of the apparition.

I ended up on his doorstep again, a bag over my shoulder and the cloak covering me completely. I sat down on the step and leaned against his door. I would wait for him to come home and I would explain everything to him. He would surely understand. I could not believe that this had happened two days in a row, so much pain and anguish in such a short period of time.

Having hours to wait for him, I spent quite a bit of time thinking. Why was it that he had been the first person that I had thought of turning to? Was it really just because he was a dark bloke who would understand my violent thoughts? Or was it something else? Did Ginny have a valid reason to suspect me of being attracted to Draco? I certainly didn't think I was. I loved her more than anything. While I certainly felt differently about Draco now than I had in the past, I couldn't help but wonder what those feelings were exactly. I wondered if I would care if he died. I knew immediately that I would. It would not hurt as much as losing Ginny, but it was a similar kind of pain. My feelings were muddled and confusing, and they weren't helped when Draco finally appeared as the sun was setting. He started toward me, but didn't react to me. I realized he still couldn't see that I was there.

I pulled the cloak off over my head as he started toward the steps. He jumped back in surprise and almost fell over. "Bloody hell, Potter!"

I stood in front of him, standing a step or two above him. "Hey, um, so, something kind of happened. I might need to crash here for a little while."

"Isn't that what Ron and Hermione are for?" He asked as he stepped up beside me and went to unlock the front door.

"I'll explain inside," I said.

Draco opened the door and lead me in, shutting it and turning to face me. "Alright, out with it. What idiotic thing did you do now?"

"I came here."

"What are you talking about?"

"I went home, I apologized for leaving and getting mad in the first place, she forgave me. Then she asked me where I was last night and I told her the truth and she was outraged."

"You are so fucking stupid sometimes," Draco said, shaking his head and starting up the stairs. He gestured for me to follow him. "Did you not think before you spoke?"

"I thought of whether or not to tell her the truth, and I opted to be honest. What's so bad about that?"

"What's bad about it is that you told her you spent the night at my house. Me, of all people. I only assume she knows we have a history."

"Yeah, she knows."

"Now, I know you didn't come here to mess around, obviously. But she didn't know that. She just saw the facts."

"Well I told her nothing happened," I argued as he slipped into his room and shut the door halfway. I waited in the hall, our voices carrying through the crack of the door.

"So what really got her mad then?" He asked, his voice shifting slightly as he went about changing his clothes.

"I don't know. I told her that I didn't really mean to come here. It had just been the first thing I thought of, that you were the first person I thought to talk to about it. She was insulted that I didn't feel comfortable confiding in her about it," I explained.

"Well, that's pretty much what couples are supposed to do, isn't it? Support each other and all of that mess? It probably didn't sound good to say you felt more supported by your — can I say ex?" He asked as he popped back out of his room in a different shade of flannel pyjamas than the ones he had worn last night.

"Yeah, might as well. Easier than saying 'that one guy I fucked a couple times'," I reasoned with a shrug.

He smirked, "Okay, well, that being said. It probably upset her to hear that you felt more comfortable confiding in your ex than in her." He raised an eyebrow toward me, "It also probably wasn't the smartest idea to come back here, either. Why not go to Ron and Hermione's?"

"They'd take sides. I didn't want them to have to."

"So what's your plan then? Hole up here for the night and go back and make the same mistake again?"

I started to speak and gave up. I had no plan. I looked away with a frown.

"You really didn't think before you came here, did you?"

"Not really, no."

"Well, I suppose that might make a good enough excuse for you. You only think of coming to me when you're not thinking at all," He suggested kindly.

"I'll mention it. But I don't think I should go back anytime soon. I have a bad feeling that we may be … on hiatus," I said. I had not really considered this until now. This was our first truly bad fight. She had never been so mad. Perhaps this was a break. I had to believe that it was not a permanent sort of break, and was instead a hiatus as I had said.

Draco appeared sympathetic to this, "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help you, but I'm afraid I'll only make things worse."

I shrugged, "We're on hiatus. I don't think there's anything you can do that will help or hurt, to be perfectly honest."

He seemed to consider this for a moment, "I could make you hot chocolate."

I smiled, "That actually sounds wonderful."

He smiled and headed downstairs. I followed him.


	13. Draco's Dream

We sat side by side on the couch now, each of us holding a small cup of cocoa. It was an old comfort food of mine, and I had been correct in my assumption that it might provide Harry with some level of comfort as well. We were talking as if we were friends. It was odd, but not unpleasant. It was not unlike this morning.

"Do you like working at St. Mungo's then?"

"Yeah, I do. The job is actually really rewarding. I work on the first floor now, artefact accidents, but I really want to go to spell damage later. But I kind of have to work my way up first."

"You just really like doing what isn't expected of you, huh?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as he took a sip of the warm, liquified chocolate.

"Perhaps. I just want to be of use for once."

"What do you mean?"

I let my mug rest patiently in my hands, warming them. "Let's be honest, I was never of much help to anyone at any point in my life, was I? Not even for Voldemort, and he would let virtually anyone to follow him. But I was terrible at being bad. I was never the greatest at being good either, but I thought I should put more effort into it now." I explained. I wasn't sure how it had occurred, but we had both shifted in our seats to face each other. My elbow was propped up on the back of the sofa, my hand dangling against the soft, dark green fabric of the couch. He had kicked his shoes off and was sitting with his legs criss crossed and facing me completely.

"It's funny, I don't think I ever would have pegged you as the type to be lacking in confidence. You always had this certain swagger about you."

I couldn't help but smile, "All a rouse. At least it was the last couple of years of school. I actually was very full of myself the first few years of life. Blame my parents."

This brought a smirk to his lips, "Oh, I remember. Your head was bigger than the entirety of Europe." He teased good naturedly.

"As if boy wonder never got big headed." I mocked between small sips from my mug.

He rolled his eyes, "You cannot even compare me to you."

"Can't I? Aren't we just different sides of the same coin?"

His expression quickly evolved into confusion. "I don't follow."

I swallowed the last of the warmth in my cup before setting it down on the coffee table beside us. "Both from incredibly powerful and well known families, albeit for very different reasons. We're both loaded with wealth. We would both do anything for our loved ones, in my case my family and in your case your friends who became your family. We suffered tragedies our fifth year, though yours was far worse. Neither of us ever had a choice. You were destined to save us, I was forced to fight against you. Both of us had a very complicated relationship with Snape, although yours was more intricate. We both played the same position in Quidditch. We even both have life long scars to boot." I rolled up the sleeve of my flannel, the fabric bunching up at the elbow. The tattoo was gone, but a long scar remained there, and would forever. "Though you, again, have more than I do in this capacity." I said, gesturing to his hand that still held his mug where Umbridge's odd method of torture was still evidenced in trace white scars.

He set his own finished cup down. "I hadn't really noticed all of it before, I suppose."

"Well that would be because we were a bit busy despising each other to notice. And they manifest in different ways. It's much easier to focus on differences than similarities anyway."

He suddenly grinned again, "So what you're saying is you actually have a way bigger ego than me. If we're so alike, then you're arguing you fell for your reflection."

"Oh, please. I did not fall for you because you're like me. Don't be so foolish."

"What was it then? You've never told me."

"You never asked," I noted dryly.

"What, you don't want to tell me?"

"Why should I?" I countered. Truth be told, I wasn't sure if I could vocalize it.

"Because I'm asking nicely?"

I sighed, running my hand through my hair, looking away from him. I didn't know why he wanted to know. He didn't care anyway. Perhaps it was just an attempt at boosting _his_ ego. I grabbed my wand and silently waved it. The glass cabinet against the wall opened and a tumbler and large glass decanter floated through the air before settling on the coffee table as the mugs from before returned to the kitchen. I began to pour myself a glass of firewhiskey, "If we're going to talk about this, I'm going to need a drink. Would you like one?" I asked cordially.

He shrugged and nodded. A second glass came out and I filled it before passing it to him. I finished half the tumbler in one go, hoping for an immediate effect if at all possible. Indeed, I felt my muscles relax within one full minute. I had heard from my coworkers that muggle alcohol took longer to affect the system for some unknown reason. A wizard's central nervous system, on the other hand, allowed for pretty instantaneous effects if the alcohol was drunk quick enough. "What was the question again?"

"Why did you fall in love with me?" He asked. I had known what the question had been of course, but I had wanted to know if he still desired to know. The tone in which he said the question was far different than it had been the first time, more serious.

"I think at first it was just the danger of liking someone I shouldn't, of doing something that was seemingly impossible." I started, unable to look at him directly. I stared at the bookshelf on the wall behind him instead, my eyes glazing over the medical titles. "But it got worse. It wasn't just being rebellious. You were always cruel to me, and it took me a long time to forgive it. But I began to see that you were a genuine person, someone who meant everything he said. It's kind of a novelty to me, obviously. Nobody I knew at this point was honest, ever. At least when you were telling me off I knew you meant it. I never doubted it. I still don't think I would have called it love. Not until you showed up at my house with your friends. You know why I couldn't tell Bellatrix it was you? Because I knew it would mean Voldemort would come, and he would kill you immediately. I couldn't bare the thought. So I tried my best to prevent it, playing stupid and not recognizing you. I didn't even fight you properly. Every spell I cast was innocuous, nothing that would have actually hurt you. That's not to say I was some hero. I know I wasn't. I let Hermione get hurt, even though I knew it was wrong and I wanted to stop it. I still fought against you, I didn't do enough to try and help you."

"Your family would have killed you if you had." He interjected.

"Probably, but what excuse is that? Death never stopped you, did it? You've always done what you thought was right, damn the consequences." I paused to finish my drink. He did not take the opportunity to speak again. I filled the glass again, continuing on, "I just kept playing along with what was expected of me, despite everything. Despite the fact that I was more or less on your side at that point. You're clearly a better man than me, though. I treated you like shit your whole life and you still saved my life." With another sip of firewhiskey, I felt my tongue loosen in my mouth. My words didn't slur necessarily, but they came out quicker and smoother. "I still did not think it was love when you saved me. I didn't know that's what it was until I saw you dead in Hagrid's arms. I …" I cut myself off, the memory refreshing itself for the first time in years. "I didn't want to believe it. I grew incredibly numb. And when you came back and began to fight again, all I could think was how fucking mad I was at you for faking your death like that. I was outraged you had had the audacity to scare me, as if it had anything to do with me."

He had only just finished his firewhiskey. He looked completely stunned. He refilled his glass silently.

"That was the how. Why? I'm not sure. Your selflessness, your ability to forgive me, your honesty, and your guts. But perhaps wanting what I can't have had something to do with it too. That's all." I finished off simply, tipping my head back and finishing my second glass. I finally looked over at him directly. He still looked ridiculous; bewildered, dazed. "You haven't gotten so drunk you're already out of it, have you?"

"No. I just … I don't believe it." He said before downing half of his glass.

"It's the truth, Harry. Remember? I owe you the truth." I said, referencing my own letter.

"Those — might be some of the nicest things you've ever said about me." He admitted. It stunned me to see that he actually looked incredibly emotional.

"Don't get used to it." I said, trying to diffuse the sudden shift in the room. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but it made me uneasy.

He finished his second glass of firewhiskey, "I'm sorry I never replied to your letter. I thought it was for the best at the time, but now I'm thinking I should have at least had the guts to tell you the truth."

I looked up at him, leaning forward without meaning to, "What was the truth?"

"That I was in love with Ginny."

"Was?"

"I still love her. Things are just … difficult." When had we started talking in hushed voices?

"I know. I'm sorry. I wish I could do more than just make you hot chocolate and get you drunk." I sympathized. From what I could tell, he was definitely inebriated.

"I don't know, there might be something you can do." He suggested.

We held eye contact for a long time. I could feel my heart pounding. "What did you have in mind?" I whispered, unable to believe the reality of this conversation.

He stood momentarily and sat back down even closer to me, our knees touching as we faced each other. "Take a guess."

"It's a bad idea." I murmured uncertainly.

"I beg to differ." He reached out and rested his hand along my jawline, leaning uncomfortably close to me. "Scared, Draco?" His lips curved up in a stupid smirk.

"You've no idea." I was able to whisper before he leaned in and placed his lips over mine. My eyes shut and I let myself fall into it with ease. It occurred to me that this was a dream I had had many times. I wondered if I had some unknown skill as a seer. I knew, somewhere deep in the recesses of my drunk mind, that this was a terrible idea. That this could make everything so much worse for him. But the drunk part egged me on. Even a sober part of my mind was too selfish to resist. This was unlike any kiss we had shared in the past. It wasn't forced. I hadn't initiated. It wasn't rushed and aggressive. It was slow, curious. He was tender, and I didn't know why. I tried to logically come up with a reason for this, but I was too drunk to come up with anything.

He pulled back only far enough for our lips to no longer touch. "Relax." He whispered. "Don't be afraid." I could think of nothing to say to this. I was too overwhelmed and baffled to think. When I didn't reply, he returned to kissing me. His hand ran into my hair and I felt electric currents spark through my veins. I gave up. There was no sense fighting it. We were already this far gone. There was no point being scared and stopping myself from enjoying the moment.

I finally leaned into the kiss, returning the affection and the weakness. Weak. Yes. That was exactly how we were, weak for each other.

Everything grew blurry. My eyes were shut, but the world became fuzzy around the edges nonetheless. The next thing I knew, he was in my lap and my face was flushed red. My hands rested on his lower back as his kisses grew more feverish, more insistent. This was all I ever had wanted, for him to want me the way I wanted him. And yet, "Harry," I forced myself to pull away, moving a hand to his chest to keep him away long enough for me to speak. "Something is telling me this is wrong."

"It's fine." He tried to insist.

"Isn't this cheating?"

"She kicked me out of the house. Pretty sure that means I can do what I want. And I want you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Why are you questioning it?"

"I don't want to get you in trouble. If we stop now she can only get so mad." I urged him. Was I really defending him? Or was I all too aware of how this might end for me and protecting myself? Was it possible to protect both of us at the same time? If we avoided this, it would ensure we were fine — right?

"Draco," He sighed, leaning back. "Please. Let me act on selfish impulse. Give me the satisfaction. If this isn't what you really want, tell me now."

 _So you can find someone else to prey on?_ I thought privately but did not say it. I had a feeling he would not have had the desire for anyone else in that moment. Harry Potter always had his pick of the litter, but he had always been selective about it. He would not give himself to just anyone. Which is why I didn't understand why he wanted me. "You know I want this. I'm just looking out for you."

"I don't need you to protect me. I need you to be Draco fucking Malfoy. Not my friend. Not my enemy."

"What am I then?"

"My …" He paused as he thought, then a little smile curled his lips, "Exception. Not a lover, not a boyfriend. An exception to the rules."

It was not what I wanted to hear. But I could deal with it. My inebriation kept my real feelings at bay. As always with him, the pain would come later. "So, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter's exception? I can go with it." I lied and pulled him back to me. The invisible box that had enclosed my love for him these past few years opened itself and I replaced the contents with my inhibitions. I didn't need them anymore. There was no point. Harry was going to get what he wanted, I wasn't going to lie and say I didn't want it.

After a few minutes of relatively intense snogging, he pulled back and simply said, "Bed?"

"Don't have to ask me twice."

He pecked my lips once more before climbing off of me and getting to his feet. He wobbled and I stood quickly and caught him before he could fall. He steadied himself, holding me up as well as the world began to spin. We looked at each other and laughed for a moment. "Stairs are gonna be a bitch aren't they?" He remarked.

"We'll take them one at a time and it'll be fine." I said, taking his hand and guiding him to the staircase by the entrance. The world didn't feel as off centered and I was able to start up the first few steps with ease. He gripped the railing beside me, but managed to stay upright as we climbed up. "'Minds me of Privet Drive." He muttered, seemingly to himself. I wasn't sure where or what Privet Drive was, so I didn't reply. We finally made it to the top, and I steered him toward the bedroom I had just been in a couple hours ago.

He still wobbled on his feet, but managed to get through the door. I followed behind, taking a deep breath and steeling myself for what was to come. He was already sitting on the edge of my bed, his hoodie in a pile at his feet. He hadn't even changed since yesterday. I didn't really care. His shirt came off and he tossed it toward me, "Your turn." I just shook my head, holding out my hand. He took it and I pulled him back onto his feet. I moved his hand to my chest, his fingers gracing the little buttons of the flannel. "No, that's your job. I'll take care of this." I murmured, moving my hands down to his jeans.

"It's a deal." He quickly agreed, undoing each and every button with precise care as I took my sweet time undoing the button on his jeans and slipping the zipper down. He nudged the shirt off my shoulders, and I pulled away from him long enough to let the warm fabric slip off my frame. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed me heavily as I started to nudge his jeans down. His hand ran down my chest until he was hovering over my crotch. He slipped his hand into the fold of the fabric and smirked against my lips when he realized I wasn't wearing anything beneath them. He held me in his hand as he bit at my lip. I leaned into him, letting out a soft moan. He already knew how to please me, even after all this time.

The memory of this night dimmed. The alcohol made my mind swim in and out of focus. The next thing I remember was lying in my bed, both of us totally naked, though we were not engaged in any sort of sex just yet.

His mouth was wandering over my skin curiously. He shifted from my mouth to my neck to my shoulders to my chest and to my hips. He teased me with a couple of licks over the head of my cock, but ultimately pulled away. "Quit being such an arse." I said irritably as he moved back up, hovering over me. He kissed me once more, "I'm not sorry. Now, how do you want to make this work?"

"What do you want?" I asked, arching a brow.

He sighed and smiled, "I would really like to fuck you."

"Well, I'll let you be selfish and have what you want then." I assured him. Privately, I knew he had made the right decision. I had been a bottom before. He hadn't, obviously. I also knew that our dynamic was a little more complicated than a simple dominate and submissive. In the past I had dominated over him, but it would seem that in this instance the tables had turned.

He seemed delighted with my agreement with his desires. His mouth suddenly engulfed mine, our tongues mashing together. It was messy and hurried, but it was not what I was focusing on. My attention was turned to my lower regions, where he had begun stroking me, slowly but surely. He kept at this for a few moments before I finally told him, "Potter, if you want to fuck me, you're going to have to do it pretty soon or I'll just cum in your hand."

He relented, letting go of me and gesturing for me to flip over. I wasn't surprised. I should have known he wouldn't want to see my face. I did as he wanted anyway, flipping over for him. Knees pressed firmly into the bed, I let him pull my hips up to meet him. I folded my arms and let my forehead rest on them. I let out a slow, meditative breath as he aligned himself. I felt his length brush against my opening and within seconds he was in me. Lucky for me, I had learned a long kept secret in the (gay) wizard community to keep my body prepared for sudden sexual encounters like this. I felt no pain, and I was already lubricated for convenience. It was a wonder the things magic could do.

He started slow enough, trying to go easy on me. But it didn't take him long to realize I could handle more. He had his hands on my hips as he thrust into me. I let my inebriation push out the unpleasant thoughts threatening to overcome me. I pushed them back sharply and reiterated that this was my dream come true, literally. Then why didn't it feel like it? His nails dug into my flesh just as I reached to bite at my arm. It was not out of pain or pleasure, but out of sheer anxiety. There was so many emotions whirling around in my mind that it was hard to shut them out and just let my body experience the physical pleasure. The pain from the bite managed to center my attention on my body. I could hear him groaning. I could feel sweat rolling down my arched spine. The pressure and pleasure was growing in my lower regions. I could tell he was close as he started moving faster. I knew he wouldn't have the flexibility nor the dexterity to do it himself, so I snuck a hand under my body and helped myself along. I felt him buck his hips against me roughly, crying out as he filled me up. I came shortly thereafter, spilling out against the comforter. We hadn't even bothered getting under the sheets. Why would we?

He slowly let go and pulled out of me.

My muscles were spent, my mind riddled with a barrage of booze and confusion. I rolled over onto my back, collapsing with a sigh. He looked down at me for a moment, chest heaving. He appeared to be trying to speak for a moment, his lips moving. But his eyelids fluttered and he fell over onto his side next to me. My eyes widened and my hand darted to his neck, immediately searching for his pulse. It pounded resolutely against the tips of my fingers. He was unconscious alright, but he was fine. I wondered what had caused it. Perhaps he had overexerted himself with it all. Alcohol likely was a factor. I nudged him over onto his back and took his glasses off. I stood and walked around to his side of the bed, putting the glasses on the nightstand there. I gently picked his head up and moved the pillow into a better position under it. I looked around the floor and found my wand, quickly picking it up and cleaning off the bed quickly. I carefully used my magic to slip the comforter out from underneath him and let it fall back over his naked body. I glanced at the pile of clothes on the floor. I considered putting my pyjamas back on, but ultimately decided against it. Instead, I magically folded our clothes and put them on each respective side of the bed. He could wake and dress himself before he realized what we had done.

I crawled back into bed and despite the fact that I knew that this was not going to last, I curled up beside him, resting my head on his chest. I moved his arm to wrap around my waist. It was temporary, but at least before I fell asleep I could pretend we were together for real.

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 _A/N: (Music) Come a Little Closer - the Killers , Our Perfect Disease - the Wombats, Believer - Imagine Dragons, and Heathens - 21 Pilots._


	14. Harry's Question

**A/N: So this chapter has a decision in it that was hard to make as a writer. This was actually not where I was going to go with this story at all. I sat and tried to get in Harry's head and what is written below is effectively my own torn feelings. Music listed at the bottom for those who are curious.**

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The Next Day

I woke before him. My eyes flashed open and I stared up at the ceiling of Draco Malfoy's bedroom. My forehead was beaded with sweat. I was too familiar with this feeling. A nightmare. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and glanced over at Draco. He was lying on his stomach, an arm tucked under his pillow. He looked more peaceful than I had ever seen him in the waking world. But it was alarming nonetheless. I sat up and put my glasses on. I didn't remember taking them off, but I must have. As I threw my legs over the edge of the bed, I realized I was naked. It wasn't as if I had been ignorant of what had happened last night up until that moment, I had simply been in denial. But seeing my own body bare before me was a reminder of the truth. My clothes were folded neatly into a pile on the floor by my feet. I picked them up and snuck straight out of the bedroom, as quickly and as silently as I could manage. I stepped down the hall of the second floor and noticed a door ajar. I could see tile on the floor just inside this room. I opened the door and found the bathroom. I flicked the light on and slipped in, shutting the door quietly behind me. The light had dazed me a bit, but I still managed to yank on my clothes. I checked my wristwatch after I had tugged on my shirt.

5:37 am.

I pulled my hoodie on and carefully crept down the stairs. I realized I had left my shoes in the living room. When I entered the room a moment later I noticed a number of things. Indeed, my shoes were there. As was a slightly empty decanter of firewhiskey and two discarded tumblers. Drops of the firewhiskey still remained on the coffee table. I shook my head and slipped into my sneakers. I had really done it now. I wanted to go back to Ginny, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't talk to Draco either, he was half of the problem. I wondered if Hermione or Ron would have any sage advice for what I'd done. Scratch that, I could only tell Hermione. I still had no intentions of letting Ron know that I had ever fucked Malfoy. But there was no way to tell Hermione without telling Ron now that they lived together. They shared everything together, including the latest news.

In that moment I desperately longed for Sirius and Remus. I momentarily wondered if I should look for the Resurrection Stone in the Forbidden Forest. But I knew better. There was certainly no former professor who I felt comfortable confessing these sins to. Once again, I was alone. But perhaps that wasn't such a bad thing. I stood in Draco's living room and spun quickly, apparating away.

My feet touched back down in the Forest of Dean. It was so early that the grass was still freshly covered in dew, and a fog was slowly lifting up through the trees. It was chilly out, partially because it was so early. My hairs stood on end and I wrapped my arms around myself to keep me warm. I walked mindlessly through the woods, listening to the sounds of the leaves crunching beneath my feet. It was refreshing to be away from it all. I wondered if anyone was worried about me right now. I doubted it. It was too early for anyone to have noticed me missing. Although I supposed it was possible for Ginny to have already told Ron and Hermione what had happened between us, but perhaps none of them wanted to try and find me. I was okay with that. I had a feeling that being alone right now was probably a good thing.

The trees began to thin out as I climbed a steep hill. When I came up to the zenith and looked down I let out a soft sigh. It was so quiet and peaceful up here. I shut my eyes and tried to imagine what Remus and Sirius might have to say about this. My memories of them came to mind. I had a feeling Sirius would tell me to go with whatever felt right. Remus would try and be logical, most likely, but he would ultimately assure me he would trust whatever decision I made. Neither were very helpful.

I opened my eyes and looked down at the forest below me. I noticed that most of the trees were turning color. Was it really fall already? I ran a hand through my hair. I tried to weigh the options logically. I remembered Draco asking me the night prior why it was that I wanted him. Why did I? For once it had been me that had pursued him. Could I really blame it on alcohol alone? No, of course not. Then why had I done it? The answer was simple. I wanted to. I had been talking to him and I was comfortable. He had flattered me when he had explained why he had fallen in love with me. It shocked me to know how painful my faked death had been for him. Of course I had known how much it hurt my friends, but I had never thought that Draco would care. And why should he? I had always assumed he had seen me as I had seen him: an enemy who I had had a few flings with. But to think he had actually cared for me all along, and that it was this affection that had not only saved my life at Malfoy Manor, but my friends' lives as well, was almost unbelievable. Perhaps if I chose Malfoy over Ginny … it wouldn't be the worst decision I ever made. I didn't have any hatred remaining for him, that was for sure. He clearly was not the villain I had always understood him to be — not unlike Snape, really.

But I still cared so much for Ginny. She had literally been the last thing I thought of before I died. I had had far more pleasant memories with her than I had with Draco. Our first kiss was far sweeter than the one I had had with Draco. Our first time having sex had even been better, certainly more meaningful. We had shared a lot of pain together, survived so much. Of course, I survived a lot with Draco too. Unlike with Draco, however, Ginny and I did not fight as much. Except for now, of course. She had not been happy when I had broken up with her to go find the Horcruxes. But she had not been outraged. She had fought so bravely in the battle. She was a wonder on the Quidditch pitch. It hadn't been hard to get along with her, it never had. I was so comfortable around her. But I was comfortable around Draco now too. However, it would certainly be easier to be with Ginny. Things would stay as they were. If I chose Draco, everything would change. First and foremost, I would be breaking Ginny's heart and the thought was almost unbearable. Secondly, Ron might kill me. Thirdly, I might have to be introduced to the Malfoy's as their son's boyfriend. I shuddered at the thought.

I wondered how everyone else I loved might react to the news of me being with Draco. I laughed to myself when I imagined McGonagall just being perplexed. Of course she would never disapprove, but she wouldn't get it. Hagrid might disapprove. He never liked Draco after we had to have detention with him our first year, and the animosity only grew when he called Hermione a mudblood a year after that. I wondered what Snape would think if he was still around. It dawned on me suddenly that Snape had known. I had forgotten it. I had actually blocked it out. But he knew, and he never said anything to me about it. He must not have minded, or he just didn't care. It was probably the latter.

I noticed a small violet growing among the grass not far from me. I sat down on the hard earth and plucked the small flower. I sighed softly and twirled it between my fingers. It smelled wonderful. Perhaps the little flower, as a symbol of chance, could tell me what to do. I tried not to think about how silly it was, but I reasoned that it didn't matter because nobody could see me. I plucked a petal off, "I go with him." The petal fell to the grass. "I go with her." Pluck. "I go with him." Pluck. "I go with her." I widened my eyes at the one last petal. I pulled it off and murmured, "I go with him." Despite doing this, I knew it was better to decide on my own. I sighed and laid down in the grass and dead leaves. Within a few moments I could feel the cold set in, but I didn't mind. It was helping me clear my head.

I considered everything. Absolutely every moment I had had with Ginny and every moment I had had with Draco. I tried to consider which of them I felt I could trust the most. It was equal. I groaned out loud, covering my face with my hands to shut the world out. Why did it have to be so goddamn hard? There had to be some definitive way of knowing. I took a deep breath and tried to tune into myself. Logic was obviously useless in this, I needed to listen to my heart. Inhale. Exhale. I could feel my pulse clear as day. I tried to listen to it like it was Morse code. It took five minutes to solve the riddle ofmy dilemma.

I jumped to my feet and apparated home. I didn't bother to wait outside the front door. I simply appeared in the living room. It was already around seven in the morning. Ginny was standing in the kitchen not far from me and had jumped in surprise when I appeared. "Dammit Harry what did you do that for?"

"I need to talk to you," I said urgently.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Well, can you at least listen and I do the talking?"

She sighed and agreed with a nod.

"I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you. I really do care about you, Ginny. But I am not what you deserve anymore. I did the worst thing I could possibly do to you, and there's nothing that can make up for it."

"Harry it wasn't that bad," She started.

I cut her off, "I slept with him. Last night."

She froze. It was several agonizingly long heartbeats before she spoke again, "Do you love him?"

I swallowed hard, "I — I think I might."

She shook her head and her eyes started to well up with tears. "You said you never would…"

"I know."

"You do realize that's the one thing that I cannot justify or forgive. Especially when it's your ex," She explained sharply, her breathing becoming ragged.

"I know it. I do not expect you to ever forgive me. I'm not asking that you do."

"Did you do this just to push me away, Harry? Is this your attempt to ruin our relationship?"

"If you're asking if I slept with him out of spite, I didn't. It wasn't random. It wasn't to hurt you, or him for that matter. It was …" I sighed. "I needed to know what it was I felt for him. It proved it was more complicated than just enjoying the sex."

"Why are you telling me this? I don't want to hear it," She insisted angrily, her face flushing red from the exertion of her misery.

"Because you deserve the truth. That's the least I can do for you." I explained.

She laughed sarcastically, "Sometimes your honesty is painful, Harry."

"I know, I'm sorry. It was what started this whole mess. I told you exactly how I felt about you going out to Quidditch. It wasn't what you wanted to hear. It's been happening more and more lately. You just want me to validate your own feelings instead of telling you what I actually think."

She stayed quiet for awhile. She wiped away her tears. I had to quell the impulse to go over and wipe them away for her. It was hurting me as much as it hurt her. As she cried before me, I remembered every little happy memory we had shared. The kiss in the Burrow just before the wedding. Lying by the Great Lake at school and laughing together over nothing important. The first kiss after I came back from the dead. The feeling of seeing her when we arrived for the Battle. The excitement of buying this home together. The thrill of Quidditch victories. I knew this was going to change everything, that there was no coming back from it. But I knew it was the right choice. She would never be happy with me after what I had done.

"How are we going to tell them?" She asked.

"That's up to you. I know Ron might want to kill me one way or another. It might be best if you tell him."

She smirked, "I might make you out to have been extra mean though."

"I still trust you. I know you won't." Despite everything I still felt like I could talk to her, laugh with her. I knew it would be awhile before we could comfortably do so again, but I knew the time would come where we could be friends again.

"I'll tell the family then. You can tell Hermione. She won't be as alarmed. She knows you and Draco have a history anyway." She was trying her best to sound cool and collected but I could tell it was killing her.

"I want you to know I'm not going to try and seek sympathy from anyone. You deserve the support they can give, not me. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to pick sides. I'm deciding right now that they need to pick your side."

A watered, weak smile appeared, "I would say no, but I really don't object. How is it that even now you're trying to protect me?"

"You're always going to be like family to me, Ginny. Even though we have a history, I'm always going to care about your well being."

"Merlin, Harry, why do you have to be such an arse but have a good heart? I can't keep up with it."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh hush." She shook her head and sighed. "What do you want to do with the house?" She gestured to the walls surrounding us.

"Do you want to stay here?"

She took a long while to consider it, her eyes skimming everything in sight. After several minutes she finally shook her head, "It was supposed to be ours. And you broke my heart in it instead. You keep it. It's your money anyway. I'll go home. Mum probably won't let me out of her sight once I tell her anyway." She reasoned.

I nodded, accepting this. I had been prepared for either response.

"I'm going to pack my things now," She murmured.

"Would it be inappropriate to hug you before I go?"

She looked at me and frowned, trying to stop more tears, "Not inappropriate. But I don't know if I could let go again. It'd be more pain than I could bare."

"Alright, I'll respect that. Then I'll just say this," I sighed and caught her eye again, "I'm truly sorry. I hope you can heal and we can be friends again someday."

"So do I," She confessed. "And I mean that. It will be awhile though."

"I understand."

"Goodbye, Harry."

"Goodbye, Ginny." I felt a heavy weight descend on my shoulders as I let the words fall out. I turned on the spot, leaving her alone to collect her things. I would return later, but I had more important business to take care of right now.

* * *

 _A/N: Songs included Fix You by Coldplay, Good Riddance (Time of your Life) by Green Day, and Wake Me Up When September Ends, also by Green Day. And, additionally, Fall Out Boy's Thnks fr th Mmrs (yes thats the actual spelling) is relevant, though I didn't play it while writing._


	15. Draco's Hope

I woke around seven in the morning, like usual. I rolled over and realized Harry was gone. I sighed to myself. I wasn't terribly surprised. But it didn't make my pain hurt any less. I laid there for probably too long, staring at the vacant space beside me. I tried not to cry. I told myself I saw this coming. I reminded myself that he had distinctly said I was not his lover or anything of the like. I was just an exception to rules. I started to hate myself for giving myself to him, but I knew that I didn't regret it. I wouldn't change it if I could. I got up and pulled on my pyjamas. I was too tired and miserable to put on proper clothes. I went to the bathroom and I could smell him. He had been in here before he left. I sighed to myself and looked at my reflection in the mirror above the sink. "You're not going to fall for him again, Draco. If he comes back wanting more, you're going to turn him away. You have to." I shook my head, knowing that no matter how much I said I would probably still go on making the same mistakes. I bent over and turned on the faucet, splashing my face with the cold water.

I headed downstairs, vaguely wondering if I could force myself to eat. I managed to choke down a single piece of toast. I went to the living room, deciding the only good use of my time would be to refresh my memory of medicinal herbs with my books. But when I entered the room I was surprised to find that everything was the same as last night. The only difference was that Harry's shoes were gone. But his bag of clothes he had brought with him was still there. I turned and walked back out of the room. I leaned against the wall in the hallway for a minute. I tried to come up with some logical conclusion. He probably had been in a rush to get out of here and only bothered to put his sneakers on before getting the fuck out of here. He would probably be back for the clothes. The thought of seeing him again was almost painful. I squared my shoulders and decided I would be as civil as I could when he came back. In the meantime, however, I had to preoccupy myself. I went back in the living room only long enough to grab my book before retreating to the dining room and sitting down with the massive manual.

I heard the knock at the door just a few hours later at nine. I took a deep breath and shut my book. I went back to the living room, shelved the book, grabbed his bag, and opened the door. I kept my eyes trained at the ground as I held the bag out to him.

"What's that?" He asked.

"Your things. You forgot them. You're leaving, yes?"

"No, actually, I just came back. Can I come in?"

My heart hammered. Why had he left the clothes then? I was unsure of what to do, but I knew I didn't want to leave him out here. I moved aside and held the door open for him. I dropped his bag down on the first step. "What do you want?"

He turned to face me, standing close to me, "I woke up this morning and I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do. I needed to think by myself for awhile. The thing is, I knew what happened wasn't just a fluke, it wasn't just a drunken fling. I had done it because I needed to know for myself just how I felt. It only complicated things more, naturally. But when I was by myself, when I really sat and focused on what I felt it became ridiculously clear."

"What are you blabbering about?" I said angrily. I couldn't really pay attention to what he was saying. All I could think about was the pain of waking up alone this morning, the fear of never seeing him again. All I heard was that he woke up and seemed to immediately regret what he had done.

He sighed, "Do I have to spell it out?" When I didn't respond he rolled his eyes a bit and leaned forward to kiss me. I was so surprised that I didn't even respond right away. My brain finally interpreted the words he had spoken just before and it occurred to me that this was him choosing me. I let my eyes flutter shut and kissed him back. In this impossibly brief moment about a hundred things floated through my mind. Part of me wondered if this was a figment of my imagination. But I knew the feeling of his mouth against mine was completely real. Not even in my wildest dreams did it feel so damn real. If this was reality, I would be okay with never dreaming again.

He pulled away a moment later, resting his scarred forehead against my unmarked one. Our eyes were shut and our breaths were quick. I could feel my heart hammering to escape my body. He leaned back and rested his hand on my jaw like he had last night. Those green eyes looked at me like I was a fucking masterpiece and I felt both honored and completely unworthy. "Why?" I asked.

"Because you're not the only one capable of change."

I smiled, "Apparently not. What exactly happened to you this morning? I - I thought you were just coming back for your clothes and you were going to leave. For good."

"I'm sorry. Like I said, I needed to think. When I thought about it more I realized it was you I really wanted. Because despite the pain we have caused each other, you still loved me. You still told me the brutal truth after the war, knowing I would not reciprocate. Because you aren't afraid to tell the truth. Just like me. Because you have seen me at my worst, at my cruelest, and it didn't stop you from caring. I realized that I could trust you to see me through any future pain, but also make sure that I enjoy the good times. I wanted the opportunity to do the same for you."

I couldn't speak. I was overwhelmed with joy. I recalled my first real memory of him, standing on those steps with him with an outstretched hand. He rejected me so many times in our lives. Now, after everything, he was choosing me. I knew that this had to be one of the hardest decisions he had made. "I was so ready to lock my heart away from you. After all this time, I knew I had no chance with you. But I couldn't even get rid of those feelings. The minute you showed up at my damn door I knew I was going to fall for you all over again. That's why I resisted briefly last night. I was so afraid of having my heart broken again. I thought it had this morning. But perhaps I still held the slimmest hope you would come back for good. I can hardly believe this is real. It's everything I've ever wanted."

"Please tell me you don't work today," He said seemingly out of nowhere.

I frowned, surprised by the sudden change of subject, "Uh, no. I don't work weekends."

"Good, because I'm not letting you go for at least the rest of the day, if not all weekend." He said before closing the gap between us once and for all. Our arms encircled each other and we shut the entire world out.

* * *

 _A/N: Songs included Waiting by Green Day, Wonderwall by Oasis, Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade, and Somewhere Only We Know by Keane._


	16. Harry's Tension

Late September 2001

One of the oddest side effects of the break up had been the owl. Ginny and I had been sharing an owl she purchased after the Battle, a beautiful tawny owl that she had regrettably named Carol. But I liked Carol. But, of course, Ginny kept Carol. Draco's owl, Reg, didn't like me at all. He was a massive creature, unlike Carol, and he had the personality to match. If I wanted to send anything he would snap his beak at me. I tried feeding him snacks and he still tried to attack me. I missed Carol, who actually loved me. Which is why, a few days after I had moved into Draco's home (and put my house on the market again), I was alarmed to see Carol tapping at the kitchen window with her beak. I popped the window open and she fluttered in.

Draco was sitting at the table, reading the Prophet and drinking his morning tea. "Who's owl?" He asked curiously.

"Um," I wasn't sure how he would react. I took the letter from Carol and she nudged against my hand. I smiled and pet her feathers back. I took a piece of bread and tore her a few chunks. She wasn't supposed to eat it, but it had always been my treat for her that Ginny would get cross at me for giving her.

"Ginny's?" He asked, his tone shifting in an indiscernible way.

"Yeah. She's hers now anyway. She used to be ours." I explained, not turning to look at him. Carol continued pestering me for bread. I gave in and tore up the rest of the slice, letting it rest on the counter for her to peck away at.

"What's in the letter, then?"

I sighed and unrolled the parchment paper and read its contents quickly.

 _Harry,_

 _I thought you should know that I told my family about what happened. Mum found out first, I went home to her that day. But I put off telling the rest of the family until today. I don't know whether or not you told Hermione, but I think Ron probably has told her. He's blown a bit of a gasket. I wouldn't try reaching out to him first. I think he needs time to cool down. Wait for him to come to you._

 _I'm sorry._

 _P.S. Don't feed Carol bread. I know you probably already did, but please don't._

 _Best,_

 _Ginny_

"She told them." I said simply, petting Carol one more time before she flew out the window, inevitably heading back to the Burrow.

"Ah," He said. He sat up straight in his chair, set his tea down, and folded his paper up. "To what result?"

"Ron's furious apparently. Didn't say anything about anyone else, so I assume it isn't as significant for them. But she also said that I shouldn't try and talk to Ron yet. I have to wait for him to come to me. So it must be bad." I tried to sound calm, collected. But my voice started to waver at the end. I still couldn't look at Draco. I was afraid to see the look of sympathy in his expression. It was painful to know that my best friend probably hated me now. It was more painful to see my lover concerned. It was too much. He stood and walked over to me. He didn't say anything. He just slowly pulled me toward him, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me close to him. I sighed and let myself rest there, tucking my head against his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay. He's upset, that was bound to happen. But he'll get over it eventually." Draco reminded me softly.

"But what if it takes years?" I suggested, admitting to my worst fear.

"It won't be, I'm sure of it. But don't expect him to come around to the idea right away either. Just try to be patient with him." He reminded, running a hand through my hair. He pulled back momentarily and kissed my forehead. "Come on, you have to get going to work." he reminded me.

"I work with him, how am I supposed to avoid him?" I asked, suddenly realizing I might be in for a long day.

Draco's expression soured as he realized that he did not have an answer for this, "I'm not sure. All I can really say is to try and be as professional as you can with him. I'm sure he won't make a scene."

"I hope you're right." I agreed. I had a plate of marmalade covered toast that I had made just as Carol had swooped in. I found myself unable to eat it now. I gave him a quick kiss before heading out for the day, ignoring the look he gave me for having skipped a meal.

Since it had been three years since the Battle at Hogwarts, the auror office had changed dramatically. The first year or two after the battle was spent hunting down the Death Eaters and searching for magical contraband. Our focus now was in trying to root out any "copycat" witches and wizards who were trying to emulate what Voldemort had started. Arriving at work today meant that I had to go through paperwork. There were a number of reports to weed through and verify or falsify. This was more ideal for avoiding Ron. Had it been just last year, we may have had to go out in the field and be forced to interact. But I was able to rush into my office as soon as I arrived at the ministry, avoiding him completely. Luckily for me, the cubicles were organized alphabetically by surname, so as long as I stayed there all day, I may be able to avoid him.

But nature had other plans. Around two in the afternoon I realized that if I held my piss in any longer that I might actually give myself a bladder infection. I convinced myself that I would be fine, that the odds of running into him the one and only time I got out of my seat. I stormed into the bathroom and was relieved to find it empty. I was even more relieved to finally release a full bladder. However, as I stood at the urinal I had the misfortune to hear the bathroom door open again. I glanced over and immediately regretted it. Of course I had to run into Ron while I was taking a piss. I did my best to hurry.

"Can't avoid me forever." He murmured as I was zipping my pants. I found it impossible to speak. I simply made a beeline for a door and headed out. He had sounded livid when he had spoken to me. I wondered if he had been waiting to corner me. That didn't seem like something he would do, but I couldn't be sure. I rushed back to my cubicle and did my best to forget about what had just happened. I wondered if I would have to find a magical way around bodily functions so that I could actually stay in my seat all day. Maybe I could convince my boss to let me wear my invisibility cloak while on the job just to avoid him noticing me. It was ridiculous. My best friend no longer could stand me, and I had to try and avoid him at all costs. This was not how things were supposed to be. We were supposed to be the dream team. Normally at this time in the work day we would be skipping out on the actual work and be talking about nothing important at all. But now I sat there, alone, forced to actually work for the last hour and a half of work.

When I was finally able to clock out, I was careful to avoid the passageways that we normally walked through on our way to the loos that lead up to muggle London. I deliberately took a different stall than normal, successfully avoiding him in this bathroom anyway. I returned in the grimey underground bathrooms of the muggle realm and hurried home.

I opened the front door and kicked my shoes off. Draco always got off work later than I did, but I still desperately wished he was there. I wasn't sure if I could make myself go to work again like that, not every single day for weeks, if not months, on end trying to avoid him. Perhaps it would be best if I ignored Ginny's advice and reached out to him first. But I also had a good feeling that if I did I would regret it. He would likely just use it as an opportunity to attack me mercilessly. This was far worse than it had been during the Triwizard Tournament. At least once my life had been put in danger he quickly got over it. I didn't think much would help him get over this one.

Unsure of what to do, I started up the stairs to our room and changed out of my work clothes and put on my sweatpants and my favorite faded, worn, blue shirt. I flopped face first onto our bed. I pulled his pillow into my arms and practically smothered myself with it. It smelled like him: oak. It was calming. Despite the immense pain that choosing Draco had caused in my friendships, I had grown closer to him than I had expected in a few short weeks. We shared a bed that very first night. Unlike my first time in his bed, we slept completely clothed and curled up beside each other. He was far more affectionate than I had ever suspected was possible of him. And miraculously I was already eased by his scent, even without him here. I wasn't even aware that I had fallen asleep right there, glasses squashed uncomfortably on the bridge of my nose. I only knew I had when I heard him try and awake me.

"Harry, what are you doing in bed? C'mon, get up." He encouraged, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing my back.

I grumbled and buried my face in the pillow, mumbling into it, "Five more minutes."

"How long have you been sleeping?"

"I don't know."

"Then you have to get up." He insisted, his tone a bit harsher.

I grumbled but finally got up and hauled myself out of bed. He lead me back downstairs, "Let me take a guess, you didn't eat anything today did you?"

"No," I admitted.

"Are you just hoping to starve yourself to make Ron pity you? Because I don't think that's going to work."

"No, it's just upsetting me to the point of nausea so I don't feel like eating."

"Are you nauseous now?"

"Yeah,"

He shuffled off into the kitchen opened a tall cupboard. It didn't quite match the rest of the furniture, and I could tell he had added it himself. He popped the door open and I glimpsed the contents. It was crammed with bundles of herbs and little bottles of oddly colored liquids. A couple of actual potted plants were thriving under little lamps and no doubtedly protected with spells to keep them growing. He grabbed something from his pocket and in the blink of an eye he had cut off a few leaves of something with a small blade from a Swiss army knife. He handed me the leaves, "Chew them."

I took the chopped leaves and hesitantly placed them in my mouth to chew. It tasted familiar but I couldn't quite place it. He pocketed his knife and shut the cabinet again. "Peppermint," He explained, "It should help."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. It's literally my job."

"Surely there's a potion for nausea."

"Sometimes simple things are better cured with the old methods." He explained.

"Do you know what all of those plants —" I started to say but was cut off by a tap and a screech at the kitchen window again. I turned and expected to see Carol, but instead was greeted by Artemisia, Hermione and Ron's owl. She was a beautiful barn owl, who normally I would have been thrilled to see. But given the circumstances, I was not. I let her in and untied the letter. She flew back out the window immediately. Draco didn't need to ask who it was from, he seemed to already suspect.

 _We need to talk. 8:00pm, tonight, Three Broomsticks. Just me and you._

 _Ron_

I handed it to Draco. He read it and threw it to the counter with a sigh. "Well I suppose if he wants to meet you indoors he isn't looking for an all out duel."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." I said as I swallowed the chewed up mint. It actually did help my stomach calm down, even with this new information.

"I'm sorry. I'm bad at easing tension. I usually just cause it, as I did in this instance." He said as he looked down at the floor morosely.

"You cannot blame this on yourself." I insisted. "It takes two to tango, I'm as guilty for falling in love with you as you are for falling for me."

"Two to tango?" He asked as he looked at me like I had grown three heads.

"Muggle expression. Sorry. It just means that you aren't totally to blame for this. You can't shoulder all the burden. It's probably a good thing he wants to talk sooner rather than later anyway. I don't know if I could literally stomach putting this off any longer. I would rather know for certain whether or not he's going to completely abandon me as his friend or not."

"Let's not fret just yet. Sit, I'll make you dinner. What would you like?"

I glanced at my wrist watch. It was already approaching six thirty. Now that my nausea had subsided I realized just how hungry I was. "I don't care. Anything filling."

"Coming right up," He said simply. I moved and sat at the table, putting my head down in my arms and trying to shut the world out. But I could still hear him scurrying about the kitchen. Every now and then he would try and take my mind off of things by talking about something completely off topic. After the third attempt I simply muttered, "I appreciate it, but nothing is really going to take my mind off of tonight." Despite the fact that I was not looking at him I could practically hear him frown. He was too good to me. He was doing his best, but there was nothing I could do about the fact that my anxiety would not go away with a change of subject. I jostled my leg nervously under the table. I took my glasses off and pushed them up onto my head, burying my face into my arms.

I felt his hand touch my back and the clink of ceramic on the wood table. I looked up and saw a plate of food in front of me. "Eat," He encouraged softly as he sat beside me.

I sighed and sat up, picking at the food. Naturally, he had made a literally filling me. Brown rice, black beans, chicken. He was such a mother. This was something Molly may have made me. The thought of Molly immediately upset me, but I tried to keep it in. I tried my best not to think about the fact that if things went wrong tonight I may never see Mr. or Mrs. Weasley again, let alone Ron. They had become my family, and I had hurt my brother to the point where I may no longer be able to see him again. I knew Draco was going to give me crap if I didn't actually eat, so I forced myself to eat what was in front of me.

"How's the nausea?" He checked in.

"Nonexistent. Just butterflies now."

"I wish I could go with you, but obviously that might be a bad idea."

"No kidding." I sighed, "I suppose you could always put on the cloak and stay by my side anyway."

"Still a bad idea." He pointed out, "One misstep, it falls off, chaos."

"God, I don't want to face him. He's gonna kill me."

"He will not and you know it."

I pushed my plate away, half eaten. I chanced a glance at my watch. 7:33pm. "Maybe if I go now and drink beforehand it'll soften the blow."

"I'm not sure. But I can't stop you either."

"I'm just going to go now. If I stay here much longer I'll just keep panicking. Some firewhiskey might calm my nerves a bit." I said, standing up.

"Before you go," He said quickly, reaching out for my hand and standing up beside me. He wrapped his arms tight around me and held me close to him. I sighed deeply, taking in his scent one more time. It was almost enough to totally soothe me. Almost. He kissed me quickly, "I love you. Be smart, be careful."

"Yes, mum." I smiled weakly.

"Shut up, Potter." He fired back easily with his own little smile. He ran a hand through my hair, moving a few stray strands out of my face. "Good luck."

"Thank you." I sighed before moving far enough away to apparate.

I sat in a booth, cradling an empty glass. I had already had enough firewhiskey to loosen my muscles. I had thought it would relax me, but it did no such thing. I couldn't stop jostling my leg. Even when I tried to stop myself, I still felt the desperate need to move. I checked my watch constantly. At 8:00 Ron walked through the front door. I didn't have to look over to know. I could see a redhead from my peripheral vision and I could feel my stomach plunge. I tensed my grip around the glass. He sat down across from me, holding a pint of butterbeer.

"Already started without me?" He asked casually, as if this was just a get together, as if there was not a troll in the room we weren't acknowledging.

"Guess so." I said simply, trying not to let my voice shake.

"So," He said calmly. Why the hell was he calm? He was supposed to be angry. "You broke my sister's heart and left her for our enemy."

I looked away, staring at the door. I wanted out of here so badly.

"Do you deny it?"

"No." I said simply.

"How the fuck did that happen?" He asked, the resentment I had been expecting from him began to appear in his voice.

"I have a history with him."

"Well no shit you do."

"No, it's not just that. We have … been together in the past. Not romantically, per se, but in other ways. Fifth and sixth year."

"You've got to be joking." He shook his head and took a long drink of his butterbeer. "And you never saw fit to tell me?"

I laughed dryly and shook my head, "Why would I Ron? You hate his guts more than anyone else."

"Yeah, and so did you. What happened to that?" He shouted. A couple people glanced our way but opted to leave us be.

"Things changed, Ron. First off, it was just … fooling around in school." He grimaced with revolt. "Do you want the truth or do you want to tell me off? I don't know what you want from me."

He sighed and leaned back in the booth, folding his arms over his chest. "I'll give you five minutes to explain yourself. Explain to me why you felt the need to crush my bloody sister and choose _him_ of all people instead."

I ran a hand through my hair. I wished he was here, so badly. "We fooled around in school, the last time was just after sixth year started. Then I nearly killed him, he was obviously furious, then he tried to kill Dumbledore to which I was obviously furious. Then during the war he apparently started to worry about me. Fell in love with me, unbeknownst to me. It's why he didn't say who I was at Malfoy Manor. After the Battle, he told me he loved me and I ignored it. I was mad for Ginny and I ignored him completely. As I'm sure she's already told you, we got in a fight awhile ago that was so bad that I stormed off. I left because I had the impulse to hurt her and it scared me, so I went to Draco. I figured he must know what it felt like to be out of control, to feel like the darkness was pressing in. He let me crash at his place. Nothing happened. He just helped me realize I was fine. Then I went back to Ginny, who knew me and Draco had a history, and kicked me out of the house for turning to him instead of her. Then shit happened. I knew I had felt something for Draco in the past, but I didn't know what. I thought it was just attraction. The next morning I realized it was more complicated than that. I never wanted to hurt her. But I know I cannot be forgiven for what I did. I don't regret choosing Draco, and I refuse to. But I do regret the pain it has caused you, your family, and most especially Ginny. I made it perfectly clear to her that I still cared about her, just not in the same way."

I stopped. I had more I wanted to say. But I figured he would only be able to listen to so much before he stoped caring completely. He remained frozen in his seat for several minutes. I wondered briefly if he had been petrified. "Are you going to say anything?" I asked angrily. I wasn't able to hide my tension anymore.

"What do you see in him anyway?" He sounded more curious than accusatory.

My shoulders relaxed. I hadn't realized they were tensed. I smiled a bit and looked down at my empty glass, "He's changed a lot. When we talk about you and Hermione he actually refers to both of you by name. He apologized for every slur toward us. He's kind. He's really sarcastic at times. He's honest about everything. He takes care of me. I can trust him with anything." I looked back up at him, hoping to gauge his reaction.

His head had cocked slightly to one side. "You really are mad for him, aren't you? This isn't just some twisted dream?"

"No. It's real as can be."

"She's not been doing well you know."

"I'm sure. Like I said, I have the deepest sympathies. I would try and help, but I know it's not me she needs right now. It's her family." I soured again. "I suppose Molly and Arthur hate me now too?"

"Well they aren't happy. Dad's pretty confused about the whole thing. You'll have to tell him what you told me I suppose. Might convince him just as well as it did me."

"Convince you of what?" I said cautiously. There was no way he was able to be won over so easily, was there?

"That you actually love Dr — him. I can't say it just yet. It's still weird. Doesn't mean I'm okay with what you did. 'Course I'm not. But I can get used to it, eventually. I don't know if I can handle seeing the two of you together any time soon, but you're my mate. Even if you're in love with Draco Malfoy, I'll still be here for you."

I let out a sigh of relief, "You've no idea what that means to me. I've been terrified you were going to kill me, or at least never speak to me again."

"Oh, give me some credit."

I paused and looked at him curiously, raising an eyebrow, "Did Hermione tell you to come and talk to me?"

"Maybe," He admitted begrudgingly.

"Did she calm you down too?"

"Yes…"

I couldn't help but laugh, "I should have known."

"Okay, but why did you tell her before you told me?"

"I didn't mean to tell her, it just came up. And again, you would have reacted poorly. The fact that Hermione had to cool you down before you could talk to me is evidence to that."

"Okay, yeah, I was a bit irate." He smiled cheekily. "Can you blame me?"

I shook my head and laughed, "Not really. Didn't believe it myself for a long time."

He flagged down the bartender and grabbed me a butterbeer on him. He held his up, "To you and that slimy git."

"Oh just say it." I said, waiting with my glass held out.

"To Harry and … Draco. Good freaking luck with that." He felt the need to tack on at the end. Nonetheless, we toasted and went back to the way things were with us.

I opened the front door and stepped in quietly, kicking my shoes off. It was fairly late. We had spent awhile catching up and bitching about work together. Neither of us had noticed how much time had passed. Not to my surprise, Draco was sitting on the couch waiting for me. It was positioned in such a way that he would see anyone who walked through the front door. He immediately stood. We met each other halfway. He looked me over frantically, "You're okay."

"Yeah. He's not pleased, but Hermione talked him down apparently. He's going to be okay with it eventually. Said he's not ready to see us together anytime soon though." I explained quickly, slurring my words a bit.

He smiled, "I can handle that. I'm just glad you're okay. Come on, let's get you to bed."

I couldn't help but lift an eyebrow at him, "Oh?"

"No more drunk sex, babe." He teased, kissing my nose.

"Please?" I whined, wrapping my arms around him.

"Harry," He laughed as I pulled him closer. "What do you think you're doing?"

I shrugged and kissed him. It was definitely messier than I meant it to be, but definitely as sexual as I mean it to be.

He gently pushed me away, "Persuade me. Give me one good reason to have more sloppy drunk sex with you."

My hand grazed the fine stubble on his jaw. I dropped my voice into a low whisper, "Because even when I'm drunk you still can't resist me."

This seemed to break his resolve, "Well, that is true." He murmured before leaning back in and kissing me hard.


	17. Draco's Nerves

Early October 2001

Yet again, an owl appeared at our kitchen window and Harry let it in. I had grown to recognize the sight of Artemisia and Carol from time to time. But this was a different one entirely. "Well, I need never doubt which one of us is more popular." I commented dryly as I sat at the table, thumbing through a book. We had a particularly difficult case at work of a cauldron that had exploded and managed to merge into the skin of the foolish wizard who had not been paying attention to his potion ingredients. The cauldron had actually fused to his skin and none of us could quite figure it out. He was perfectly fine otherwise, but it was causing obvious problems to have a cauldron for a chest. I didn't bother asking who the letter was from, I knew he would tell me once he was done reading the letter. In the meantime, I needed to find a magical means of removing a cauldron.

"Hey hon?" He asked curiously as he sat down next to me.

"Hm?" I didn't look up from my book yet.

"We haven't had an actual date yet have we?"

I glanced up at him curiously, my eyes flitting to the letter still in his hands. "No, I suppose we haven't, why?"

"Minerva told me that the first Quidditch match of the year is coming up this weekend and invited some of her old students to come, for old time's sake."

"She invited her Gryffindors, not me." I said quickly, shaking my head.

"No, no, she said we could bring with us whoever we liked. We could make it like our first real date." He was so enthusiastic it was like watching a young child formulating a clever plan.

"Are you only suggesting it because you're hoping to rub it in my face if Gryffindor beats Slytherin?" I guessed with a knowing smile.

He tried to pretend this wasn't the case, "I just want to go on a date with my boyfriend, is that that insane?" I gave him a look. It took only fifteen seconds for him to break, "Okay, yeah, I kinda hope they kick ass and I can brag about it."

I couldn't help but laugh, "You don't even need an invisibility cloak for me to see right through you."

He grimaced, "Draco your shit jokes are gonna kill me. Please, have mercy."

I shook my head and brought us back to subject, "I suppose it has been awhile since I went to a Quidditch game. Might be fun to watch Slytherin slaughter the competition."

"You keep dreaming, Malfoy." He teased. "So it's a date then?"

"Yeah, why not. It'll be fun to humiliate you in front of McGonagall."

"Yeah, you keep thinking your team stands a chance." He said with a condescending sweetness. "It's kind of adorable."

I scowled at him, "Are you trying to get me to hex you?"

He just laughed and reached across the table to hold my hand. "No, I just like your face when you're irritated."

I rolled my eyes at this. "Remind me again why I'm dating you?"

He lifted my hand toward him and kissed the skin of my knuckles delicately before glancing up at me with a small smile, "Because you love me even when I'm a git."

I blushed brightly under his affectionate gaze. He still had the talent to make my heart race with the littlest things. "Yeah, that's why." I replied, referring more to his loving actions than what he had actually said because I hadn't really heard it. He was too distracting.

He laughed a bit, "Just don't forget that you love me when my team bests yours."

We apparated into Hogsmeade that following weekend and walked toward the pitch. Without really thinking about it I reached out and took Harry's hand in mine as we walked. We looked like complete opposites on a good day, but our contrast was even more exaggerated on this particular day. He looked far more festive than I did, naturally. He just had to go all out: scarf, hat, gloves, sweater, even his socks were all emblazoned with Gryffindor colors. I was much more understated. I couldn't help but wear my usual all black suit, though I added my old tie and was keeping my ancient scarf on for warmth. My mum had tried to throw this scarf out on numerous occasions, insisting that they could afford to replace it. But I never let her. I had a strange attachment to it that even I couldn't quite explain. Unlike Harry, I preferred to look like a sane person when attending a Quidditch match. I had honestly half expected him to try and find that old lion's head the strange Ravenclaw friend of his once wore to a match.

"Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?" I asked good naturedly.

"Absolutely not. Unlike you, I have immense pride in my house."

"No, you just brandish your pride on your sleeve while I keep mine in for the most part."

"You just aren't as proud because your house hasn't done as many amazing things as mine." He boasted.

"I'll tell my whole family that, arse."

He beamed over at me, "I'm sorry. Your house is lovely, aside from the higher percentage of bastards in your common room."

I shrugged, "I can't really disagree with that."

"And anyway," He said, carrying on, "Minerva would be so disappointed if I didn't come in full Gryffindor regalia. She can't actively show preference of house as Headmaster, so I have to be proud for her."

We started toward the entrance of the pitch, becoming one of hundreds ambling into the stands. We climbed the stairs up to the guest stands. The actual students were all entering from another end of the pitch and were already seated. The staff shared this tent as well, and McGonagall found us the moment we started toward our seats. She caught Harry's eye and he navigated us up toward the top where she was sitting. I followed behind reluctantly. I was incredibly tense already. I hadn't considered that anyone we knew might see us, but as I followed Harry I looked around us and saw several recognizable faces. I let go of Harry's hand.

"It's so good to see you, Harry." I heard McGonagall say. I looked over and she was hugging him. I was deliberately standing a few feet behind them.

"It's good to see you too, Headmistress."

"Please, Harry, you can call me Minerva now if you'd rather."

"How about just McGonagall?"

She smiled, "Yes, that will do." She glanced over at me hovering in the background like some sad dog. "Harry, were you aware that Draco Malfoy is following you?" She had whispered it, but I still heard her though I'm sure she didn't want me to or mean for me to.

Harry turned and looked at me sympathetically. He gestured for me to come closer. I shook my head.

"Harry, what's going on?" She asked, completely baffled.

Harry took a few steps toward me, took my hand in his, and forced me to step toward her. We stood side by side in front of her, in the stands of the Quidditch pitch, holding hands. He was beaming while I was dying. "We're dating. He's my boyfriend."

I doubt if she would have been any more shocked if he had said Tom Riddle was back again. Shock on McGonagall's face was much more tame than on others however. Her eyes widened and her brows raised, but she regained her composure within a few minutes. "Well … that's certainly news. I certainly hope you're happy, Harry." I couldn't help but notice she didn't care if I was happy or not.

"I am happy." He assured her, "And I'll be even happier win."

The thought of Gryffindor winning brought a smile back to her and she looked away from me, "Yes, I'm sure we will win. Come and visit properly some time, Harry."

"I will, soon." He said before turning us around to head to our seats. The row McGonagall sat in was reserved for faculty. We would be sitting several rows below.

"Harry, you didn't have to do that." I muttered quickly. I instinctively wanted to let go of his hand, afraid of attracting any more attention. But I knew it would upset him, so I held tight.

"I think I did." He said quickly, turning down a row and sitting down in the middle of the long bench. More people were entering. I sat beside him and tried to calm myself down, finally able to let go of his hand now that we were sitting. But, to my great chagrin, it wasn't long before someone approached us. Dean and Seamus had apparently come for the game as well. I noticed they were holding hands as well. Unlike our situation, however, their coupling was not even remotely surprising to anyone.

"Harry!" Dean had called, spotting him from afar.

"Oh god," I murmured, looking down and hiding my face in my gloved hands. I desperately wanted to be elsewhere, but I couldn't even apparate.

The two strode over and exchanged pleasantries with Harry. I still kept my face buried in my gloves. If I just stayed perfectly still, maybe they wouldn't notice I existed, wouldn't ask who the strange man in all black was hiding his face next to Harry.

"Who've you got there?" Seamus asked, and I could tell he had motioned to me.

I heard Harry shift and look over at me, "What are you hiding for?"

"Oh what do you think?" I asked, letting my hands fall and showing my face.

Dean and Seamus actually jumped a bit in surprise. "What the hell?" Dean asked.

"Brought my date," Harry said simply, "Same as you brought yours." He sounded far more defensive than he had with McGonagall.

"Your what?" Seamus asked.

"My boyfriend, in other words."

"Since when…?"

"About a month ago."

"Well, I'll be damned." Dean said frankly. "I didn't see that one coming." He held his hand out to me. "It's nice to properly meet you, Draco. I don't believe we've ever been formally acquainted."

I glanced at his hand cautiously, expecting a trick. I reluctantly shook it to avoid seeming rude, as they surely already assumed I was, "Nice to meet you too, Dean."

"You should come grab a butterbeer with us sometime, yeah?"

"Sure, we'd love to." Harry spoke for us. I didn't mind. I didn't want to speak.

Seamus didn't look pleased at this idea, but he didn't protest it either. Cordial goodbyes were exchanged and the two went and sat elsewhere. I wondered why they wouldn't want to sit with us, but then I realized that I would have been incredibly uncomfortable if they had. Perhaps it was for the best that they didn't if it spared everyone discomfort.

"This is horrible," I groaned.

"Oh, lighten up. Nobody cares that much."

"Harry, everyone stares at us."

"No they don't. You're overanalyzing it. You know you do that."

"I know I do, but I swear I'm not doing it now."

"Hey Harry, mind if we sit?" A third voice piped up. I glanced over and saw Neville and an unfamiliar girl standing at Harry's side. "Technically I'm supposed to sit with the rest of the professors, but I'd rather sit down here with you."

"Not at all. How have you been Neville?" Harry asked as they sat down.

"Oh, never been better. This is Hannah, by the way, Hannah Abbot." He introduced her courteously. Harry nodded politely her way.

"Nice to meet you. I'm guessing Draco doesn't need introductions?"

"Maybe not an introduction, but an explanation." Neville said kindly, with not a tone of surprise or derision, unlike everyone else. He even bothered to look over at me and smile. It was almost too weird. My aunt basically killed his parents and he was still nice enough to smile my way. And here I had thought Harry was too good.

"We've been dating for awhile. Thought it'd be fun to come to the game and bicker with each other over who has the better Quidditch team this year." Harry explained cheerfully, nudging my side a bit.

"Draco?" A new voice asked. My brain just kept repeating the word "fuck" over and over again as soon as I heard it.

"Is that…?" Another added.

I turned to the opposite direction, away from Harry Neville and Hannah and was face to face with not just Pansy Parkinson but Blaise Zabini. My old friends with benefits and the girl who used to be obsessed with me, standing side by side and gawking at me and Harry.

"Oh, hey," I said as if this was a casual and not alarming occurrence.

"Is that Harry Potter?" She asked, pointing at him rudely. He hadn't noticed their appearance yet, he was too busy talking to Neville about Quidditch.

"Yes, what of it?"

I saw Zabini shake his head slowly, smirking. "You're dating him aren't you?"

I blushed and glanced away, "Yeah, so what?"

"I didn't even know you were gay," Pansy said stupidly, making Blaise chortle with laughter. This word seemed to catch Harry's attention, and he turned to see them.

"Pansy, Blaise. Nice to see you," Harry said kindly, standing and holding out his hand to them.

"Don't even think about it." Pansy scoffed, turning away from him and walking away. "Come on, Blaise, let's go." Merlin, were _they_ dating now? When did he go straight? Blaise glanced from Harry to me and just laughed, "I should have known." Without another word, the two walked away from us and sat elsewhere. Harry sat back down quietly, though he did not seem offended or surprised.

"Why did you even bother?" I asked quietly. Despite the chill air, my face was flushed and warm with embarrassment.

"Because it's the right thing to do," He said simply.

"Both of them have been foul to you in the past. You didn't owe them that kind of politeness and respect."

"Neville showed you respect even though you were foul to him in the past. They deserved the same. Everyone deserves a second chance, especially those we think cannot live up to one." He said, suddenly sounding very much like Dumbledore. He took my hand again and held it tight just as the players entered the field. Once the quaffle was tossed into the air, a few moments later, I finally relaxed a little. We didn't recognize a single person on either team, but we didn't care. We still supported our respective houses.

To little surprise to me, Slytherin made the first goal. I couldn't help but laugh defiantly.

"Oh, shove off, Malfoy," Harry mocked me like he did in the good old days.

"Don't worry, Harry, we just let them have the glory of at least one goal. You see, we'll cream them," Neville reminded him.

When Slytherin scored again I couldn't help but get a little pompous, "Oh yeah, Gryffindor's just being nice. It has nothing to do with the fact that our chasers are superb and your keeper is half blind."

The three of them shouted indistinct insults toward me but it just made me laugh. In the safety of the game, we could all pretend to hate each other again when we clearly didn't anymore. It was surprising to me that Neville, of all people, could tolerate me. Perhaps he lived by a similar ideology to Harry and was just giving me a second chance. I was even grateful that this Hannah girl was being friendly. Even if I didn't know her personally, chances were that she knew of me and my family and the crimes we had committed. Not everyone was okay with us being a couple, that much was obvious. But as we stood in the stands and roared with each goal and bemoaned at each opposing score I realized that it really didn't matter if other people could accept us being together. As long as Ron and Hermione could be on board with it, which they more or less were now, then we would be fine. We didn't need anyone else's approval.

The game proved to be much tighter than any of us expected. A couple of hours passed without the snitch being seen. Clearly neither seeker was particularly good, because both Harry and I spotted it multiple times. He would nudge me and point it out to me and we'd both catch a glimpse of the gold sphere flying through the air. The game ended up being completely tied for ages, to the point where I was leaning on Harry's shoulder practically falling asleep from boredom. And that was when the Slytherin seeker suddenly zipped off in one direction. I sat bolt upright and looked closely. "He's gonna get it!" I cried with a sudden rush of adrenaline delight. He was in pursuit of the snitch, though the Gryffindor seeker had noticed and was fast on his heels.

"Come on!" Harry cried out. Everyone stood and shouted in excitement as the game neared its close as the snitch was pursued.

"Catch up, you can get him!" I heard Hannah shouting excitedly.

Half of the stadium burst into cheers as the Slytherin seeker caught it, but the majority of the crowd around us groaned in agitation. I couldn't help but rub it in, "Can I hear a 'Draco was right', anyone?"

"I'm going to kill you, how's that sound?" Harry said bitterly.

"Not quite, but close enough," I laughed as I threw an arm around his shoulders.

He immediately threw my arm off, "Nope, no love for you. Not anymore. Not today."

"So rude," I said with a wide grin, knowing his petty frustration would not last. With the game over, we all made our way out of the stands. We said goodbye to Neville and Hannah, who were returning to the castle and made our way back to Hogsmeade.

"Want to grab a bite before we head out?" Harry asked now that he was back to his normal self and blocked out his team's loss.

"Yeah, sure, why not. Any place in particular?"

He smiled, "Oh, I have an idea." He reached out and took my hand again.

"I'm sorry if I was … off today. I didn't realize that we would run into so many people we knew today." I apologized.

"It's alright. I know you were uncomfortable. But at least Neville and Hannah were nice about it, Dean too for that matter. Not everyone's going to be happy about it just yet though."

"I know they won't. It's alright with me."

"Speaking of all that, though — what was up with Blaise?" Harry asked.

"Oh, um, well…"

"You can tell me," He said with a squeeze of my hand as he lead us through Hogsmeade.

"We used to mess around," I admitted shyly.

"Before or after you and I started messing around?"

"Both."

He glanced over at me and raised a brow. He was calm, but curious, waiting for an explanation of some kind.

"I sometimes would be with him when I couldn't be with you. That's why he wasn't that surprised when he saw us together. He knew I pined after you."

He smiled a bit, "Of course."

"Is that … okay?"

"That you fucked Blaise because you couldn't fuck me?" He murmured under his breath, "It's certainly amusing, if not a bit flattering."

I blushed and shook my head, "You're so full of it."

"Nah, not at all." He smiled, "Ah-ha, here we are!"

I looked up and realized we were standing in front of Madame Puddifoot's tea shop. I turned and glared at him. He burst into a fit of laughter. I folded my arms, shook my head, and began to walk away. He followed after me, "Draco, I was kidding!" He still continued laughing as he caught up to me. "I couldn't resist, I'm sorry." He wrapped an arm around my waist, "Come on, we'll get you to the Hog's Head. That'll loosen you up."

I sighed and relaxed my shoulders, moving my arm around his waist as well. "Sounds like a plan to me. I'll pay. It's the least I can do after my team kicked your team's ass."

He rolled his eyes as he said, "You're such a pain."


	18. Harry's Reluctance

Mid-October 2001

"It's only eight o'clock." I laughed as I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. I flopped down onto my back on the bed.

Draco laughed as he sat up in the bed beside me, "I'd say we can go again, but I'm going to need at least an hour to recover." He said frankly, grabbing his book off his nightstand and flipping to the last page. For some ungodly reason he was reading Milton's Paradise Lost.

"Really? Post coitus and you want to read Milton?" I couldn't help but tease.

"What? Muggles would have read it in school, right? I want to be able to say I know as much as any muggle does." He said logically, reaching for his reading glasses. They were the only thing he was wearing.

"You know, you should hang out with Hermione and geek out over books some time." I suggested casually as I reached for the Daily Prophet on my nightstand. I had been falling behind on issues and was desperately trying to play catch up.

"Maybe." He said noncommittally as his eyes slowly skimmed the page.

I glanced over at the book in his hands and saw nothing but giant, unending blocks of text. There wasn't even a paragraph break. It gave me a headache just looking at it. I went back to my paper. Somehow we had been so insatiable today that we couldn't even wait until it was actually late to go at each other. Hence our sudden block of free time.

We sat and read quietly beside each other for only ten minutes before Draco gave up with the massive text. He shut the book up again, put it down, and took his reading glasses off.

"Something troubling you?" I asked casually without looking up.

"Yes."

His tone made it clear it was worth discussing. I folded my paper, tossed it aside, and turned to him.

"It's a question."

"So ask it."

"I don't know if you're going to like it."

"Try me."

"Do you want to properly meet my family? My parents, that is?"

It went without saying that the rest of his family was either in prison or deceased. I had been in his family's home, I had had numerous interactions with his father and his mother. Judging from his expression, however, it was incredibly important that I meet them on better terms now. "Do they know we're together?"

He shook his head, "No, but I wrote a letter telling them. I was going to send it tomorrow."

"Do you really think that they are going to be open enough to meeting me as your boyfriend? Something tells me they'll be none too pleased that we're dating."

"My father already knows how I feel about you."

"He does?"

"Yes, he — it's a long story, but he found out."

"And?"

"He was pretty mad at the time. But after the war I told him that you saved my life and he seemed genuinely appreciative. He quipped about having you over for dinner as thanks, but I had a feeling he was just saying that. But if he finds out that we're actually together he might be more willing to get to know you as a person, not just Harry Potter."

"What about your mother?"

"She saved your life, didn't she?"

"Doesn't mean she wants me to be dating her precious son."

"Still, I think they'd be more open to it then you may suspect."

I sighed softly, "I'm willing to go and meet them if they're willing to meet me."

A relieved smile spread across his lips, "Thank you, Harry. It means a lot to me. I just want them to understand. I want them to know this isn't just a crush anymore."

My heart hammered in my chest and I couldn't help but lean foward and kiss him. For all he talked about me being too good for him, he was the one that was unquestionably the more loving of the two of us. It didn't take long for us to get distracted by each other again.

To my immense surprise, the Malfoys agreed to have us over for dinner. Their response to Draco's letter was curt, and made no acknowledgement of us being a couple. It simply said the date and time they expected us to arrive at the manor. Which is how I found myself in front of the gate to the manor wearing a hand tailored suit that Draco had paid for himself. My heart hammered in my chest. It was partially out of nerves of meeting his family, but it also was a bit of anxiety over remembering the last time I had stood in this spot. At least this time my face wasn't swollen and in pain. The gate opened from afar, summoned open by a spell no doubt cast from the house that seemed miles away. I reached out and took Draco's hand for a moment.

He tried to pull away, but I held fast. "Please. Just for a second." I whispered under my breath. He held fast for thirty more seconds before letting go. "Thank you." I muttered as we approached the door. I just needed the momentary boost of confidence, and holding his hand usually did this for me. We stood in front of the massive black doors. The door knockers were serpents, naturally. He reached forward and wrapped at the door with his fist. I wondered why he didn't bother with the snake. But my curiosity dissipated quickly as the door opened. I had half expected a house elf to answer, but Lucius Malfoy stood there instead. The entrance was raised a few inches from the steps upon which we stood, forcing anyone coming in to have to look up at whomever opened the door. This meant Lucius had the opportunity to glare down at me.

"Evening, Draco. Potter." It appeared he didn't have the decency to address me by my first name just yet. I didn't think much of it. Draco came around eventually to it, I knew Lucius would have to eventually too.

"Good evening Mr. Malfoy." I had actually practiced saying this a hundred times in the shower that morning.

"Come." He said stiffly, stepping aside and holding the door open for us. Draco easily strode in, evidently at home while I felt as if I was going to be burst into flames at any second. I did not feel remotely comfortable in this house, and if I could be given the option I would ask to never come back again.

Without speaking, Lucius lead us into the dining room. Which, naturally, was overly extravagant. A massive chandelier was lit above an obscenely long black table. I was confident that even in the brightest summer days the manor still looked like a mausoleum. Narcissa stood as we entered and walked over in quick short steps. Unlike Lucius, she bothered to put on a smile, holding her hand out toward me, "Harry, it's good to see you again."

"I — yes. Excellent." I stammered as I shook her hand. This had not been the welcome I had expected from her. If anything, I had expected Lucius' prior knowledge of Draco's interest in me to put him at an advantage for being more welcoming. But evidently this was not the case.

"I apologize if I come across too strong." She seemed to have picked up on my anxiety. "I cannot thank you enough for what you did for our family, for our kind."

I shrugged, "Well, I couldn't have done it without your help. You really don't needn't to thank me, Mrs. Malfoy."

"Please, call me Narcissa."

I chanced a glance at Draco and he looked just as surprised as I was.

"I believe it would be more practical if we sat for supper now." Lucius said curtly. He had strode around the room, taking the long way around the dining table until he stood at the head of it. Naturally, king of his own hill. Narcissa looked over and smiled, "Yes, quite right, darling." She moved to sit at his right. Not remotely surprising. I waited and let Draco sit first, sitting opposite his mother and beside his father. I slowly sat beside him, hoping this was not improper. When nobody corrected me, I relaxed in my seat — well, I relaxed as much as I could anyway.

A door directly behind Lucius opened and several servants stepped out and served us. The meals were literally in silver platters. I had always assumed they only existed in old timey films. Being here was like being in another world entirely different from both the muggle and wizarding world. I was relieved, however, that the servants were humans and not house elves. I wondered whose idea it had been. I had a guess it wasn't Lucius. The servants removed the massive silver domes that covered our food and filled our glasses with blood red wine. Once we were served, they scurried away, presumably back into the kitchen. I wondered if they were being paid, and I hoped that if they were, it was substantial.

Each of our plates held a rare cut of steak. I shouldn't have been surprised. Only the finest for the Malfoys. I wondered how Draco had taught himself to cook when he grew up in a household where everything had been made for him. I figured three years of being completely alone has to necessitate a hobby of some kind. I reminded myself as I sat there that "proper etiquette" dictated I couldn't eat until the host did. Lucius waited patiently. He did not seem to notice there was any food in front of him at all.

"So tell me, Potter, any new crack downs at the Ministry?"

I only faltered for a beat, "Sir?"

"I'm just trying to ascertain a reason for you getting close to my son. I can only presume you're looking for incriminating information regarding our family. The Ministry has never been kind to us."

"Father —"

"Hush, Draco." He hissed, turning his eyes to his son only briefly.

Draco did as he was told, looking down at his food quietly. It made me furious that Lucius could do that. I hated seeing Draco shut down. I could feel his embarrassment rolling off of him in waves. He didn't want me to see him like this when it wasn't even his fault.

"Answer the question, Potter." Lucius said coldly.

"Dear, perhaps it would better if we ate and discussed later?" Narcissa chimed in.

He glanced her way before turning his attention back to me, "No. I'd like to get this out of the way now, if you don't mind. Care to settle the matter?" He directed this last question to me.

I squared my shoulders. I had been prepared for something of this nature, I just hadn't expected to be attacked with it right away. But I could handle it. "I'm close to your son because we live together. I mean it's a big house and all, but we still generally end up being physically near each other." Draco stepped on my foot under the table, I ignored it.

"Well your sense of superiority clearly remains intact." Lucius rolled his eyes.

"Sarcasm, superiority, whatever word you prefer, sir."

His nose twitched. Clearly Draco had developed his minute facial expression from his father. "Tell me, Potter, what interest is my son to you?"

"I would figure it would be relatively obvious. I don't exactly live with him because the mortgage is cheap to pay off."

"Harry," Draco muttered angrily, just loud enough for me to hear him. I ignored him again.

Lucius appeared to be losing his patience by the second. "What exactly are you getting out of this, boy? What are you up to?"

"Lucius." Narcissa tried to use what clearly was her mother voice, but it was ignored. It alarmed me to see a paralleled dynamic in our interactions at the moment.

I sat back in my chair and sighed. I didn't want to keep being a pain. I wanted to get it over with, "What do I get out of it? Happiness."

This seemed to take everyone off guard. Perhaps they had all expected another witty come back. But I was fed up now. I didn't want to provoke Lucius into such an aggression that he may attack me. I just wanted to get under his skin, and clearly I had. Now I just needed to show him the truth. They all turned to look at me, befuddled by my response. I glanced at Narcissa. Her lips curled up almost imperceptibly. At least one of them liked me.

"I can't trust a word you say."

"That's your prerogative, not mine. I wish I could help, but nothing I say or do is going to make you like me or trust me. I, however, am willing to be cordial." I pushed back my chair and stood, reaching my arm across the table, "So try again, shall we? Nice to see you, Mr. Malfoy."

He glanced at my hand and for several long seconds it seemed I would be left hanging. I had been about to turn around and leave, unable to bare the frustration of being around him much longer when he stood and shook my hand. His grip was tight, almost threatening. "A good evening to you, Mr. Potter." It gave me just the smallest sense of satisfaction that saying those words was like pulling teeth for him. After a few seconds of holding my hand in a death grip, he let go and sat back down. It felt like we were dogs circling each other before deciding a fight would cause more damage than necessary.

As soon as he sat down he picked up his fork and knife. We all set about eating at his cue, but I couldn't help but notice the hostility with which he sliced his knife through the meat. I was certain he was imagining it was me instead. Several minutes passed in speechless silence before Narcissa tried to ease the tensions.

"So, Harry, how is Ministry work treating you these days?"

"It's a bit dull. But that's a good thing."

"Yes, of course. Reassuring, no doubt." She said quietly. I nodded silently. "Do you mind if I ask, how it was that the two of you …?" She didn't seem to know how to end her question.

Draco glanced over at me and smiled, "Let me." He murmured. I nodded and let him speak. He seemed to glow with pride as he did so, "It was a long time coming, actually. It was just good luck that he happened to choose me over the Weasley girl in the end." I knew very well that he knew her name, and that he only said this for his parent's benefit.

"It wasn't luck." I said simply. "It was a choice, and a wise one at that."

This seemed to sufficiently answer Narcissa's question as she looked away, though I noticed the subtle smile return to her face. I glanced over at Draco and couldn't help but smile slightly as I reached for the wine.

Periodically, Narcissa would make pleasant conversation and for the remainder of the meal it was easy to forget that Lucius was even there. He didn't say a word, although I knew he had to be hearing what we said, even if he didn't like it. When the food had vanished, the servants reappeared and took the scraps away. This left us with nothing but ourselves and a table between us. Again, etiquette dictated the meal was done when the host decided it was. But he continued to sit there in stony silence after the table was emptied. He rested his elbows on the table, folding his hands together and resting them against his chin. He looked contemplative.

His eyes, which had stayed resolutely trained at the table or his food throughout the meal, now fixated on me again. I did not flinch or look away. I stared right back.

"You saved Draco from the fiendfyre?" He asked, his tone in stark contrast to how he had spoken before. It wasn't quite relaxed, but it was somewhere in the neighborhood.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a fate like that."

"If he was your worst enemy, why the sudden change? It seems quite illogical."

"It is illogical. Love isn't supposed to make any sense. The brain and the heart rarely work in tandem."

He made a sound that appeared to be an attempt at a laugh, "Spoken like a true hopeless romantic."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

He stood, "Come, we need to talk privately." He began to walk away and I stood to follow him. Draco grabbed my arm for a moment. I looked back at him and he seemed to silently wish me luck before letting me go. I followed Lucius out of the dining room and down the hall into a small library. He shut the door with his wand and turned to me. He stood resolutely and appeared to look me over. "I know you have a sexual history with my son. Prior to your coupling, that is."

"I know you know." I said simply, trying my best to not visibly shake.

"How can I be sure you're not simply using him for this purpose?"

This was not what I had expected. "You can't know, because you don't trust my word."

"I do have veritaserum should I need to resort to it. But perhaps away from him I can trust you to tell me the absolute truth." Lucius explained calmly. He no longer sounded murderous, he just sounded concerned.

"Alright, I can do total honesty." I took a deep breath beforehand and finally leveled with him. "I'm mad about Draco. It doesn't make any sense to anyone, and I completely understand that. It didn't make sense to me at first either. But it's real. This isn't cheap talk. I don't want to be here right now. I'm terrified of this place, for pretty obvious reasons. But Draco wants nothing more than for me to like his parents and for his parents to approve of me, so I'm here. Because I would do whatever it takes to make that man smile."

Lucius seemed taken aback. He didn't speak for a moment, just stared at me curiously. "Perhaps I can give you credit for honesty."

"That would be nice."

"Don't be cheeky."

"My apologies, Mr. Malfoy." I quickly tried to recover from the offense.

"I can't say you're the most respectful man. But it's clear you love him. Or you're an incredible actor."

"I'm actually a terrible actor. People see right through me all the time."

"I digress then. I don't know if I can really like you, but I can accept the fact that you love my son and he loves you." Lucius admitted with a sigh. He moved past me and opened the door. He left and I followed uncertainly. Was I not supposed to follow? What was I supposed to do at this point anyway?

He strode back into the dining room and walked straight past Draco toward his wife. Draco watched me anxiously. I did my best to silently reassure him, but I wasn't sure it came across.

"I'm rather weary, Narcissa. Perhaps We should retire for the night."

"Yes, darling. Let me just walk our guest to the door and I'll be right up." She assured.

She lead us back to the door and as we stepped out I heard her whisper, "Well, it wasn't a total disaster was it?"

I glanced back at her and we exchanged a knowing smile. She turned to Draco and hugged him close. "Get home safely now, alright?" She told us both.

"Yes, mum, we know."

"I hope to have you over again sometime, Harry. Don't you worry about Lucius, he'll warm up to you sooner than you'd think."

"Thank you, Narcissa."

"Anytime."

And with that, she headed inside and shut the door as Draco and I turned and headed back toward the gate.

"What did he say?" Draco immediately asked.

I smiled, "He's going to accept us."

"How did you talk sense into him?" Draco asked in astonishment.

"It's a secret."


	19. Draco's Gratitude

October 31st, 2001

On a normal day, I woke before Harry and left for work at the same time as he did. But on this particular day, when I awoke, his side of the bed was already cool to the touch. He had been up a while. I didn't think much of it at first. I shut off my alarm, making a cursory glance of the date. Halloween had never been that exciting of a holiday for me, and I didn't intend on doing anything about it. I got out of bed and changed into my scrubs before heading downstairs to make my tea and toast like I did every morning. I had assumed Harry had just woken early and started his day. But when I reached the kitchen I realized it was still unoccupied. I glanced around, concern growing like a flame in my stomach. "Harry?" I called out as I checked the living room as well, but there was still no sign of him.

I returned to the kitchen to busy myself with making a cup of tea. When I reached into the refrigerator for the cream I noticed the note scrawled and stuck to the freezer door. I immediately forgot what I had been doing and plucked up the note.

 _Went to work early. Will be home as usual at 4pm._

I stared at it blankly, flipping it over to make sure there was nothing else written on the note. But those were the only words on the scrap of paper. It was so unlike him to do this. Even more troubling was the fact that he had not said anything else in the note. Every now and then he might leave a note for me, reminding me to go to my own appointments or to call my mum, but even these simple reminder notes almost always ended with"I love you" or even just "-Harry" jotted onto them. Why was this note so comparatively cold in nature? As I set about making my tea again I tried to recollect the events of the day before.

It had been a good day for the most part. Work had been dull for him, as was oft the case, and I had told him about a wizard who had a wand stuck in his ear. This anecdote had made Harry laugh so hard over dinner that he had almost spat out his butterbeer. I loved making him laugh like that. It brought me so much joy. We read together, we relaxed. It was not unlike most of our nights: peaceful, uneventful. It was what we both desperately needed after years of relative chaos in school. Last night had been no exception. If anything, it had been an especially good night because we had made love. I ruled out the sexual encounter as being the cause of it. We rarely if ever had a bad night in bed, and that night certainly had not been anything to complain about.

I sat alone at the table and drank my tea in silence. I had been alone for a year or two before Harry had moved in. This had been the same ritual that I had had before him. I had never been upset about being alone, it had been refreshing. But now that he wasn't here for breakfast for the first time since he had shown up at my door some months ago, I felt the emptiness of the room magnified. His presence had always taken up so much room, and I loved it. It felt unnatural to be here without him. Consequently, I only drank half of my tea and forgot about my toast completely. I vanished the remainder of my tea and left for work early. If I went to work it would be easier to forget that I had been alone this morning. I could take my mind off the fact that something was undeniably wrong, whether that was with Harry exclusively or the problem rested between us I was scared to know.

I came home an hour after Harry did, every day, without fail. That Halloween was no exception. I had been eager to make it home, mostly to make sure he was there. When I stepped inside I didn't hear anything and my heart hammered with fear. I ignored it and headed upstairs to change. I logically tried to reason that he could be sitting somewhere out of sight, reading quietly or something. He was here. I had to believe that. I used to be able to sense when he was around, a sort of hunch. This skill apparently was useless when it actually mattered. I stepped into our bedroom and changed quickly. I couldn't help but notice he didn't occupy any of the upstairs rooms.

I headed downstairs and let my fear get the best of me, "Harry?"

"In here," His voice called from the living room.

I was flooded with relief, but made a point to wash the relief from my face before heading into the living room. He was sitting in a chair, facing the unlit fireplace and staring into it. The room was practically black. Without a word, I slipped my wand out and lit a fire and flicked the lights on around the room. "Harry, why are you hiding in the dark back here?" I asked as I moved toward him. I crouched beside him but he didn't respond to me. He had his head propped up on his hand, looking as if he was contemplating something. "Did something happen at work?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell me what it is then?" I asked, getting a bit frustrated.

He glanced at me for the first time that day. He sighed heavily and took his glasses off, rubbing at his eyes. There was the shadow of bags under his eyes. I wondered how late he had been up last night. I had fallen asleep almost instantly after our activities. He apparently hadn't. "It's Halloween. It's a rough day for me."

"Why's that?"

He turned to me, "It all happened today, twenty two years ago. He killed them."

It struck me then. I had never known the date, never once asked, when his parents had died. No wonder he was being moody. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"I can't really blame you. I didn't even know until a couple years ago when I visited their graves for the first time." He replaced the glasses on his face, letting his hand fall on the armrest. I reached out and held it in mine.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

He started to shake his head but seemed to have an idea halfway through. His eyes widened and shifted to me, "Would you like to meet them?"

Naturally, I agreed.

It was freezing outside, and we both bundled up in our jackets and scarves. He was abnormally hushed and didn't say anything as we apparated off to Godric's hollow. The sun had already set and the sky was a dark purple, with only the faintest glimmer of orange on the horizon. He seemed to know where he was going and began to lead the way. I kept pace beside him as we walked down the street. I reached out and took his hand in mine. As we walked down the street I couldn't help but notice some of the people that were out and about cast glances toward us. A few frowned sadly or bowed their heads. They undoubtedly knew why we were here. Most of them probably hadn't the faintest idea who I was, but all knew why Harry was here.

Each home was quaint and small in nature. Until we happened upon it. His home. It stood resolutely on the street, cast in the shadowy gloom of nightfall. Half of the house was caved in. We paused before the gate. I watched his expression carefully.

"If you're waiting for me to cry, it isn't going to happen." He said coldly.

"No, it's not that. Why would I want that?" I was taken aback, surprised at his defensiveness.

"I can see you waiting for a reaction."

"I'm just trying to make sure you're alright, Harry. Can you blame me for being concerned? Of course I'm going to keep an eye on you when you face the ruins of your childhood home." I tried to withhold my irritation with him as much as possible.

He sighed and I watched his shoulders relax. "I'm sorry. I just — I don't like feeling as if someone's just waiting for me to break. As if everyone would just love to see Harry Potter in a mess over his dead parents."

"That's not why I'm here, I promise. I'm here to meet your family, to know your childhood and where you come from." Of course he was worried of becoming a spectacle. He'd been made a spectacle of the public eye for a good part of his life. Everyone had starred on our way in. It wasn't personal.

He stayed quiet for a moment. He finally murmured, "They lived here, protected by a spell so nobody could locate them. We had a cat, apparently. I was only one, but they had already bought me a little toy broom and I loved it. I found a letter at Sirius' house about all of it. I just — I know everything had to happen the way it did. But why couldn't the prophecy have been foretold a couple years later? Why couldn't I have had at least a couple of years with them? Everyone always tells me how much I'm like them. The eyes. The hair. The knack of getting into trouble. It's so hard to hear." I nodded. It wasn't my time to talk. "Did I ever tell you that before I … before I went into the forest to face Tom, I got a chance to use the resurrection stone?" I shook my head, unfamiliar with the story though I recognized the name of the deathly hallow, "I saw them. My parents. And Sirius and Remus. It was the only chance I got to talk to them. I don't even remember everything they said anymore. They told me I was brave, that they loved me. Promised me dying didn't hurt that much. It was reassuring to know that they didn't suffer."

We stood in silence in front of the house for several moments more. He spoke again, "What do you know about that night?"

"Not much," I admitted, "Just that it was the 'tragic' night Voldemort was 'killed'. All I really know is that they died, you lived, and you got a horcrux stuck in you."

He laughed dryly at this, "I suppose that's what most people know. I … I saw in his mind once. The memory of that night. My dad tried to stop him first. Told mum to run, take me and run. Riddle killed him. He found my mother before she had a chance to get out. He offered to spare her life if she would just let him kill me. But she refused. She put herself between us and died protecting me. That's why I was protected from him the first time he tried to kill me again through Quirrell." I was watching him carefully again. His voice strained a couple times and I could hear the raw emotion. His eyes were misted but he seemed determined to not cry.

When he finished telling me the full story, including how he had been left in the custody of a terrible aunt and uncle, I couldn't help but be mystified by him. I had only known a very false version of his story. I had known he was powerful enough to survive a killing curse, and that had been why I wanted to befriend him in the first place. I had never known the kind of torment he had experienced growing up. No wonder he had hated me. I was no better to him than his foul family. I was no better than my own family. "I wish I had known." I murmured.

"I know. But you know now, and that's all that really matters." He said gently. He turned away and lead me further down the street. As we approached the graveyard I couldn't help but notice a statue in the midst of the street. I normally may not have cared, but I felt a strange urge to go toward it. Without saying anything, I changed direction and headed toward it. Harry seemed surprised at first but followed me. "I wasn't planning on showing this. It was the town's memorial for … us." As I stood in front of it, it was undeniable that it was his family. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen. They were mere monuments to his parents, but they looked so real that it felt as if I was properly meeting them. They were so young. It dawned on me that Harry may have outlived his parents now at twenty three. How tragically young to lose everything. The infant in their arms was unrecognizable without the glasses and the scar on his forehead.

"Your parents must have been mad for each other to get married and have you so young."

He smiled weakly, "Everyone always tells me they were perfect together. It helps to know that. It's more tragic that way, but I think it might be worse had they just tolerated each other."

He turned back toward the graveyard across the street. I followed. We entered silently. I was grateful that nobody else was there. The sky had darkened enough to show the stars above now. The moon was nothing but a sliver in the sky. He lead me past the large tombstones, some of them with dates going back hundred and hundreds of years. This was not surprising for a wizarding community. I wondered how many of them I was related to, how many Harry was related to on his father's side.

He turned down a row and stopped in front of a dense, square stone. He slowly lowered himself down to his knees. He cast his wand gently over the stone, clearing it of the fall debris and leaving a bundle of white lilies instead. He leaned back and sighed, shutting his eyes.

"Do you think they're watching over you?" I asked with my eyes trained on the stars. I had once heard that many muggles believed in a place called "heaven" that was theoretically in the sky. I didn't understand much of it, but I didn't disagree with it entirely either. It was a foolish notion to think the dead had no effect on the living, that the death of anyone (Crabbe, Snape, Dumbledore) didn't mean something. Their spirit had to linger somehow.

Harry's eyes blinked open and he glanced at me. He turned to the sky as well, to see what I was seeing, "I think so. When I saw them before I died, they seemed somewhat aware of what I had been through. I don't know whether or not that means anything or whether that was really their spirits or not, but I like to think it was real. It makes it a bit easier to deal with the pain to know that they're somewhere watching over."

It dawned on me that if there was some way for the dead to see over the living, I sincerely hoped my whole family ignored me. Except, perhaps, Tonks and Sirius. I had never known them well. Which surely meant they were good people, given the nature of the rest of the family that I had known. "What do you think they would think of me if they could meet me right now?" I wished so desperately that it was possible. His family was clearly more loving than my own. It would be nice to know what that's like.

He smiled at the thought, "Sirius wouldn't trust you at all. He would be the one giving you the third degree. Mum would be the nicest, giving Sirius hell for being brash. Dad would be on the fence, but willing to give you a chance. I reckon so would Remus. I think they would ultimately approve. They all just wanted me safe and happy." He was smiling through the tears streaking his cheeks. His voice shook but never gave out. "You make me happy. That would have been more than enough for them in the end."

I took his hand in mine. He turned to look at me. His bravado wavered and cracked. His smile vanished and I knew what was coming next. I pulled him into my arms just as he started to cry. He buried his face against my shoulder. I ran a hand down his back. "I know. I know." I murmured over and over again. I did my best to hold myself together. It hurt me immensely to know his family would have embraced me, would have happily added me into their family should I have asked. I wished I could have known them. I wished I could have met them. Instead, I shut my eyes and thought of them. Perhaps, somehow, they could hear me, wherever they were: Thank you so much for your sacrifice. I cannot imagine my life without your son. He is so strong and kind. I don't know if I'm doing the best by him, but I'm trying my hardest. I will protect him and care for him as long as I can. I promise.

Harry's frantic cries slowly diminished, and I could feel his breaths steady slowly but surely. I smoothed down his hair fruitlessly. He sat up again a few moments later, wiping his face dry on the sleeve of his coat. "I'm sorry. I probably soaked your jacket."

"I really don't care."

"I'm really glad you're here with me. I haven't seen them since the Christmas before the war with Hermione. It stings more now to know that they never will know of you, but I'm glad you're here to put up with my blubbering."

"Harry, stop giving yourself shit for having emotions. You're entitled to them." I reminded him. "I'm happy to be here with you, to have met them."

He turned those eyes to me again and I noticed that the bloodshot whites only made his eyes greener. They had always stunned me a little, but now more than ever. He was the most beautiful man I had ever met. "Thank you." He said simply. He cleared his throat, "Let's go home."

We slowly got to our feet, brushing off the dirt on our knees. He held my hand in his, taking one last look at his parents' grave before turning us away. He would never totally get over the loss of his parents, and I expected as much. But every Halloween I had every intention of being there for him, in whatever way he needed me to be. That night, I was his shoulder to cry on and I had no issues with it. We walked out the gate of the cemetery and I let go of his hand only to hold out my arm for him. He held on tight, but before I could disapparate he stopped me, "Wait, I want to just stay a second longer."

I didn't move. I didn't speak. I watched as he took a slow breath and shut his eyes again. I wondered if he was saying something to them as well in that moment. A heartbeat later he looked up at me, "Alright. Take us home, Draco. I'm ready."


	20. Harry's Forgiven

November 2001

"Oh, hello Carol." I heard Draco's voice carry as I headed down the stairs. I popped into the kitchen and was unsurprised to find the tawny owl on the kitchen counter with a scroll tied to her foot. "She hasn't been by in awhile. Haven't heard much from her lately, have you?" Draco asked as I released the message from the messenger and gave her a piece of bread for her troubles.

"No, I haven't heard from her since she asked what to get Molly for her birthday, and that was near a month ago. It's not that unusual though. Would you want to talk to your ex boyfriend much after he broke up with you?" I queried as I began to unravel the scroll and read through it.

 _Dear Harry,_

 _I'm ready to talk about what happened between us. I've been a bit in denial since it happened. But I'm ready to talk. Come via floo powder when you get this, if you can._

 _See you soon, hopefully._

 _Ginny_

"Draco," I started as I curled the message backup, "She wants me to come over. Now."

"What for, is something wrong?"

"She's ready to talk to me. In person."

His eyes widened in surprise. To be fair, it had been about two months since I had broken up with her, but we had all assumed it would take her at least a year to overcome her anger toward me. Sure, she had exchanged a few meaningless messages with me from time to time, often regarding her family. The only genuine message had been to warn me of Ron's temper.

"As long as you're back before night. Don't forget we have plans with Dean and Seamus." He needlessly reminded me. It was hard to forget we had plans with them when he had been fretting about it since Dean and I had agreed to it a week ago. Draco always had put on such a cocky, self assured front in school, but dating him now I knew he was really just a nervous wreck half of the time.

"Yeah, I know. Trust me, I'm not going to let anything get in the way of those plans, because I know you're looking for an excuse to get out of it."

He rolled his eyes, "Oh, whatever. Go on now, go and have that wonderfully uncomfortable conversation with your ex."

I frowned, "You think it'll be so bad?"

"No. It's Ginny. If she wants to talk to you now it's not to kick your ass. She could have done that awhile ago. If she says she's ready to talk, then she is."

"You're probably right." I tried my best to convince myself everything was going to be just fine.

"Go. I'll see you later." Draco said before kissing my cheek.

"Love you," I added as I stepped out of the kitchen toward the living room.

"Love you too," He called down the hall just before I slipped into the room.

I took a small handful of the powder from the pot we kept on the mantle and lit a small fire in the fireplace. "The Burrow," I murmured before tossing the chalky powder into the flame. The fire grew dramatically in size and turned lime green. I stepped into the fire and felt a weird warmth around me for a couple of seconds before I stepped out of the fireplace in the Burrow.

Molly was knitting in a rocker a few feet from me. She looked up from her needles and smiled at me, "Oh, hello Harry. I thought you might be coming. Cake?" She asked, gesturing to a small platter piled high with small cakes on the coffee table in front of her.

"No thank you. Is Gi—" But before I could even say her name, she appeared from around the corner.

She sighed and smiled a bit awkwardly, "Hello."

"Hey."

She glanced at her mother, who was watching us with interest. "Let's go on a walk." She suggested, heading for the door before I could respond.

Molly looked slightly put off about our leaving, but I had no choice but to follow her. She headed down the path in front of the Burrow, her arms folded against her chest. I hurried to catch up, finally falling in stride with her. I knew it was best to stay quiet. She was the one that wanted to talk, which surely meant I had to be the one to just listen. When her home was quite a distance behind us, she began to walk us around to the backyard and started to talk, "Thank you for coming. I wasn't sure if you would."

"Of course."

"I want you to know that the past couple of months have been really hard for me. I'm not saying that to make you feel guilty, I just want you to understand where I'm coming from. At first I could do nothing but sulk. But then Gwenog came back to ask again if I wanted to join the Harpies. I tried to ignore her, push her away. Anything to make her leave me alone. But she persisted. I finally agreed to join the team and ended up being stuck practicing almost constantly the past couple of months. It's been the best thing for me, and is a big reason that I'm able to confidently tell you that I'm … I'm over it. I can accept the fact that we're not together anymore. But I called you here to remind you that I want us to remain friends, at least in some capacity. This family isn't the same without you in it. Mum's practically adopted you as a son anyway, so there's no point of keeping you away."

I couldn't help but grin. This was exactly the news I had been hoping for.

"Well?" She asked, looking at me expectantly.

I looked up at her, my smile still evident, "I'm just relieved, honestly. I was worried I was never going to be welcome home here again. I love your family so much, Ginny. I didn't want things to stay so weird between us forever. That would have been terrible."

"I have one or two rules, though." She suddenly added.

"Oh?"

"Until I say otherwise, we shouldn't touch. No hugs or anything, I mean. I know it seems tempting, but I … I don't have that much faith in myself. I may have gotten over it, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten what it was like. To be with you, I mean."

"Understood." I tried not to remember those very times we had been together that she was referring to. We used to have a very passionate relationship, particularly after the war. It was uncomfortable to think of it now.

She cleared her throat as we rounded about to the front of the house. "Thank you." She said. "So, how have you been Harry?"

"Not bad, actually. It was pretty rotten for awhile there, but it got better once Ron got over himself."

"You can thank Hermione in part for that."

"Oh, I know it. I had a feeling she had a hand to play in the matter."

"So … you two are happy then?" She asked cautiously, not looking at me now.

I just nodded, "Yes." I knew she didn't want to know anything beyond this. It would probably have been too painful to know just how smitten we were with each other, especially given the amount of pain she had been through.

"Well, I'm … I'm glad you are able to be happy with him." I could tell from her tone that at least part of her was still sad at a missed chance with me. I had no regrets, but it seemed she was still dogged by them. She may have "gotten over it" but I knew it was only true to an extent. She had never gotten over my rejection when we were young (neither had Draco for that matter), so I knew that this was really only the first step for her.

"Why don't we head in? I'm sure Molly is aching to catch up. Anyone else home right now?" I said, quickly changing the subject away from my relationship with Draco for her own sake.

She agreed and turned toward the front door that we had finally approached again. "Charlie and Percy are home for the weekend. Bill and Fleur too."

I had very brief relationships with the eldest Weasley sons. I wondered how they had reacted to find out that their baby sister was heartbroken because of me. Ron at least had had Hermione to cool him down and years of close friendship to lessen the blow. Her eldest brothers likely had less objections to hating me. "They don't — y'know, hate me do they?"

She shook her head, "No. Bill was pretty upset for awhile but Fleur reasoned with him. Charlie and Percy weren't happy but they weren't mad either. They just worried about me. It was kind of sweet actually. Charlie and I never were very close, but after he found out what happened he moved back in and helped me through the hard times."

This was incredibly reassuring. We went in and were quickly greeted by Molly, who again insisted that I take a cake. I relented and took three. She ushered us to the kitchen table and sat us down.

"Harry, you must catch me up. How have you been?"

"Not bad, Molly." I answered vaguely.

Ginny sat across the table from me looking terribly uncomfortable.

"I hear you're with Draco Malfoy. Is it true?"

Of course she just wanted to be sure it was true. It was so unbelievable to her she needed me to confirm it. I just nodded. I caught her reaction and it seemed pretty tamed. Perhaps she had been readying herself for the truth. Perhaps she had argued with Ginny over it, not believing her own daughter because she was in such intense denial. She folded her hands on the table and frowned a bit, "Well, I can't say I think it's the wisest choice to be with him. Considering all he and his family have done in the past that helped You Know Who." She still couldn't say his name after all this time.

"I'm well aware of what he and his family have done. But there are things he has done to redeem himself, and I can hardly judge him for the choices of his family." It felt sour on my tongue to say it. I was getting so sick of explaining my relationship to people.

"I just don't understand how anything can forgive his actions."

"Mum," Ginny snapped. "Leave it. He's not going to stop dating him just because you're upset about it. It's also none of your business."

I looked up at her in total surprise. She glanced my way and smiled sympathetically. For just a moment she had seen the shit I had gone through on my end after I had chosen Draco over her. I didn't ask for it, but she could sympathize and cut me slack. It was more relieving than the fact that she had recovered from the break up.

Molly, meanwhile, looked thoroughly put out. But she did as asked and stopped talking about it. She got up and started messing around with food in the kitchen, seemingly preparing lunch before it was even eleven.

"What was all the ruckus?" A vaguely familiar voice asked from the hall before popping into the kitchen. A man with ginger hair that was almost messier than my hair stood at the other end of the table. He looked like an older, messier, rebellious version of Ron. I noticed his clothes were disheveled and it looked like he had slept in them; denim jacket with patches across the sleeves and back, a Weird Sister shirt, and camouflage print cargo pants. Charlie Weasley was undeniably the most unique of the Weasley kids. "Oh. Hey Harry."

"Hey," I said as if I had met him a million times.

"Mum was giving Harry shit." Ginny explained to her brother simply.

"Language," Molly reminded gently.

"Mum? Oh never. She's always perfectly reasonable. What was she cranky about?" He asked me as Molly shot them both a disapproving look.

"Harry being gay."

"No, I could care less about that!" Molly said angrily as she chopped a bit too aggressively at some carrots. "I just don't understand why it had to be a Malfoy of all people."

Charlie sat next to Ginny and smiled toward me, but spoke to his mother, "What does it matter, mum? I'm dating a dragon after all. A Malfoy is nothing by comparison."

"Oh, enough." Molly threw her hands up in exasperation before heading out of the room.

"Charlie keeps telling her he's going to marry the Welsh Green he's been caring for since it was a baby." Ginny explained to me.

"In reality," Charlie added, "I just don't like most people, so I'm not getting married and it drives her insane. Don't know why it would though, less family to remember the names of."

"Really? You don't have an interest in _anyone_?" I asked curiously. I had never heard of such a thing. Everyone I knew was either with someone or hoping to be with someone soon.

"Yeah, I've tried to hold a relationship before but it's just not for me. Nobody can get why I love my dragons so much either, so that doesn't help."

"Can you blame them? Every other word out of your mouth is 'dragon'. They get jealous after awhile I would imagine." Ginny commented dryly.

"Well, you're not wrong." He laughed, picking up a cake from the plate Molly had left on the table and nibbling off a bit.

The crowd of Weasleys in the room began to grow as Bill, Percy, and Fleur trickled into the room. Fleur was toting Victoire in her arms, who had just recently turned one. "Oh, Charlie, how are ze cakes? We made zem last night."

"You already know they're amazing." Bill said simply as he plopped down beside his brother and grabbed three of them for himself.

"You're too sweet." She said, looking his way as she sat down. She suddenly seemed to notice we were there as well. "Oh, Harry! How are you?" She didn't even question my presence.

"Wonderful, yourself?"

She exchanged a look with Bill and then glanced at the baby in her arms, "Well, we ztill don't get much zleep. But she iz wonderful."

"How is everyone else doing with the late nights then?" I asked.

"Well, Perce probably hates her the most." Bill said with a smile

"I do not. I'm delighted to be an uncle." Percy said with noted irritability.

"Yeah, he just doesn't like that everyone's asking him when he's going to get hitched." Charlie smirked. "No pressure for me, naturally, so it defaulted to him."

"Wait, who are you even seeing these days, Percy?" I asked, completely confused. It had been way too long since I had spent time with the Weasleys. I may have worked in the Ministry with Percy, but we worked in such separate departments that we didn't ever cross paths.

He blushed a bit, "I've been seeing this girl from work for a month or two. Met her at work. She's from the Portkey Office. Her name's Audrey. She's very nice, but having mum wondering when I'm going to marry her when we've only been together for a couple months is kind of annoying." He admitted.

"See? Told you so. He's annoyed." Bill teased.

"But it's not Victoire's fault. I have no resentment for my niece because of it." Percy insisted, and as if to prove a point reached out for her. Fleur handed her off gratefully, helping herself to a cake as Percy smiled down at the baby girl. "Hello, Vicky."

"No. Her name iz Victoire." Fleur said angrily, flashing a glare at Percy.

They started to bicker about the proper nickname for Victoire or if she should have a nickname at all. But as they did, I couldn't help but look over at Ginny. She had been oddly quiet throughout the conversation, and sure enough when I looked over at her she was staring into space. I cleared my throat. Nobody noticed, except for her. She looked up and I caught her eye. I nodded my head toward the back door in the kitchen. She stood and headed out. The four of them had become so involved in their conversation about children that they didn't notice either me or Ginny leaving the room.

We were outside and walking again just an hour after we had come inside. If things were different (or more appropriately — if things had never changed) I would be holding her hand while we walked. But this was not the time for that. "Want to tell me what's going on?"

"I don't know what you mean." She answered too quickly.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you do."

"It's hard to be happy for them when I don't know if I'll ever get what they have." She knew better than try to avoid the question for long, so she got to the point quickly.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Harry," She sighed and stopped walking, turning to face me. She had her arms folded up again, she was getting agitated. "I thought, and I know it's not reasonable, but I thought we had a future. Marriage. Kids. Now I'm not sure if I'll ever get what I want."

"Of course you will. Ginny, when have you ever let obstacles stop you? So it's not what you expected, it's not what I expected either. Do you really think I'm the end all be all? I can tell you right now that I'm not." I could feel my role for her slowly shifting into that of a protective brother. You would think with so many of them she wouldn't need anymore. But unlike them, I had been a confidant to her and I still appeared to be. "Trust me when I say that I know for a fact you will find an amazing man, or woman,"

"God, Harry, not everyone is as gay as you are." She cracked up with a grin. I had deliberately added it in there, knowing precisely how she would react to it. It had done the trick of distracting her, however momentarily, from her stress.

"An amazing man then, who will give you everything you want." I assured her.

Her smile faded and she groaned in irritation, "Why did you have to make it so hard, Harry? Couldn't you have just played along and pretended to be into me until we died?" I smiled, knowing she didn't mean it. "You don't happen to know any single guys do you?"

"I can think of some, but I don't know them well enough. Could always call on Michael Corner again." I suggested sarcastically.

"Oh, right. Pretending for a moment that he wasn't a whiny git, he's probably gay too. Why do I always end up with gay men?"

"Hey, Dean and I aren't gay. We just … like both? Is there a word for that?"

"I don't know of a word for it. But either way, you both left me for a guy."

"Well, you were the one that broke up with Dean so that logic doesn't really follow."

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. If you say so. I'm not going to go after Michael, but maybe he'll know someone I can get a date with. It's been so long since I've been on a real date."

"See, there's perks to being single aren't there? You can actually see what it's like to be of-age and single. You get to meet people and figure out what you like and don't like." I tried my best to reframe it for her.

She didn't seem to take the bait, "Yeah, says the guy in a relationship." She stepped past me, moving back to her home.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a total arse."

"I know you didn't, Harry. You just wanted to make me feel better." She said gently. "I do appreciate the fact that you still notice when I'm not feeling great, and that you still want to make me feel better. But you should probably head home to D-Draco." The name stuttered out of her mouth, as if it was as cursed as Voldemort's name had been.

"I can stay longer if you'd like me to. I don't have to be home until five."

"No, Harry. It's fine. I'm sure he wants you home anyway." Ginny said, opening the front door and letting me in.

"Alright, well, I'll — see you later." I said simply as I walked over to the fireplace facing the door. I tossed the powder in the cinders and the flames came to life. I turned to face her again, curious how this was going to come to a conclusion gracefully. She stood a few feet away from me, her arms still folded across her chest. She nodded, "Yeah, I'll see you later. You can come over whenever you want, you know that right?"

I nodded, "I know. I'm sure Molly will want me to come over soon."

"I think she wants you to come over for Christmas, actually."

"Oh? Really?" I was taken by surprise. I just had assumed things would still be weird by then, but clearly they were already on the mend. "Alright. Send a letter my way and we'll sort it out."

"I will. As long as you stop fattening up my owl." She said, a smirk on her lips.

"Can't make any promises." And with one more quick goodbye, I turned and entered their fireplace and disappeared through the flames.


	21. Draco's Festivities

December 2001

The snow was piling up outside. The holidays were fast approaching. I'd already told my family we would not be coming, not that they had invited us. My father's exact response had been something like, "Why would we want you over?" Besides that charming interaction, the winter had not been going that badly. I had been promoted and had moved to the second floor with creature related injuries. I was looking into studying magical healing at the university in town. Everything was generally looking up. My plan had been to spend the holidays with Harry, getting him the perfect gift (not that I knew what that was) and cuddling in front of the fire. But, naturally, since I had some sort of expectation it had to be shattered.

"So, do you want to go with me to the Weasleys' for Christmas?" He asked me a week before Christmas while we were both reading quietly in the living room.

I let my head fall back on the couch and placed my book face down against my chest. "Harry, Christmas is in seven days. Why didn't you bring this up sooner?"

"I was talking to Ginny about it. Trying to figure out when and who was coming, and mostly trying to decide whether or not it would be appropriate for you to come with me. I told her flat out I wouldn't go without you and she talked to her family. They said they'd be happy to have you come with me."

"Harry…" I sighed, shutting my eyes and rubbing at my temple. "They probably only agreed begrudgingly. I doubt if they're really that welcoming of me. Malfoys and Weasleys have hated each other for generations. That's not likely to change."

"It will if they get to know you, and clearly some of them are willing. I don't think they agreed to have you over because of me." Harry argued.

"They want you over. You said you would only come by if I could come as well, so they ultimately decided to agree to it because they care more about seeing you than me."

"Teddy will be there." Harry interrupted me.

My eyes widened a bit in surprise. "Really? Why?"

"He's sort of like family. Andromeda doesn't have anyone else to spend the holidays with, and given that we've already spent a couple holidays with them it's just become routine. I thought you might want to meet your sort-of cousin. I think that persuaded them to have you over more than anything, so you could get a chance to meet him."

It occurred to me that my mother had never once considered inviting her older sister over for the holidays. Were they really so hostile with each other? I had never even met her. I had no idea who she really was, all I knew was that she was my aunt and was taking care of my cousin. My cousin — who was also my boyfriend's godson. Magic families are always rather strange amd interconnected. "I mean, I suppose if they are at least partially willing to have me over it would be rude to not go."

"Precisely. And the last thing you need is for the Weasleys to think you're rude."

"Considering they all hate me already?"

"They don't all hate you." Harry sighed, we had had this conversation before. "Ginny and Ron are fine with it now. Charlie is fine with it too, and I doubt Bill or Fleur care much."

"But Molly and Arthur are predisposed to hate me because of my father."

"They don't hate anybody, Draco. There are just certain people they trust less than others." Harry tried to rationalize.

"Yeah, and I'm one of those people they don't trust."

Harry sighed and took my book and put it face down on the table.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get you to shut up." He explained as he crawled over into my lap. "You're going to go one way or another, and there's no point working yourself up into a tizzy about it. So, as I said, shut up." He pressed his lips against mine and I pretty quickly lost all of my thoughts about the Weasleys and the holidays.

But while Harry was able to distract me then, I wasn't able to avoid it completely. The day finally came and I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I stood in front of the closet for far too long that evening, unable to decide what to wear.

"Oh just throw on a shirt and jeans." Harry said irritably as he changed behind me in his usual stupid attire of plain clothes.

"Is a suit too much?"

"Yes, you'll just look pretentious in the company of the casually dressed."

"I hate wearing jeans. Can I wear slacks?"

"Merlin's beard, just let me do it." Harry said with a roll of his eyes. He nudged me away from the closet and pulled out some clothes and handed them to me, "Wear this. Just put it on, trust me." I sighed and did as he said, trying my best to not scrutinize the clothing until it was on my body. I buttoned the crisp, white shirt up all the way and turned to Harry, "Well?"

He smirked, "Mm, too attractive." He stepped forward and tried messing my hair up. "Oh no, that only makes it worse." He smoothed it back down. "Maybe untucking the shirt?" He yanked at the shirt and pulled it out from my jeans. He leaned back and looked me over again. "Damn. Still too attractive." He smiled and pulled me close to him and kissed me sweetly.

"Can't we just stay in bed all day instead of going over there?"

"As much as I would love to do nothing but shag all day, we did already tell them that we are coming over. And you know I keep my word." He reminded me. "Just try not to look so damn attractive all night."

I couldn't help but smile, "I don't know what I'm doing that's so attractive."

"Existing."

"Oh shut it, you're terrible." I laughed, nudging him away. "Alright, let's get this over with then, shall we?"

"One more," He insisted. He pulled me back in and kissed me. He always said one more, but whenever he did he really meant three, four, five times more. He finally broke away, "Okay, no. I need to stop now or I won't be able to resist much longer."

"You flatter me so. Now, come on. Take us there before I chicken out." I encouraged. He took my hand in his and turned on the spot.

We reappeared a hundred feet away from the Weasley household. "Welcome to the Burrow." Harry said kindly. We had not dressed for the cold, and quickly scurried through the snow to the front door. But I couldn't help but notice just how large The Burrow was. I had always assumed it was a cramped cabin at best. But apparently not. It certainly was nothing extravagant, but it looked comfortable. Unlike my estate that looked (and was) cold and meaningless. Harry didn't even knock on the front door, he just reached for the handle and stepped inside. The second my foot touched down over the threshhold I felt the warmth of the room surround me. It was a ridiculously cozy atmosphere.

"Ha-wee!" A little voice cried. I looked over and saw a little blue haired boy struggling out of the arms of my aunt. I gasped sharply, thinking it was Bellatrix. But the smile that came across her face as she put the little boy down on the floor made it clear it wasn't her. It was Andromeda. The little blue haired boy waddled across the floor toward Harry, who knelt down and scooped him up. "Hello, Teddy!" He was grinning so fondly as he looked at the boy. "How's my boy been?" The toddler responded in gibberish, but Harry nodded and went along with it as if he understood him. Andromeda walked over toward us but looked right past Harry to me.

"You look just like your mother." She said to me with a weak smile, "It's nice to meet you at last, Draco. I don't suppose you're the hugging type?"

I felt my cheeks warm slightly, curious as to why on earth she would want to hug a perfect stranger even if I was her nephew, "No, not really."

She held out her hand, "Well then, a handshake it'll be."

"It is nice to finally meet you. I apologize for not trying to reach out sooner." I explained quickly as we shook hands.

"Oh, don't fret yourself over that." She said sweetly, turning her attention to Teddy, "Teddy, meet your cousin Draco!" Her voice went up a couple of octaves when she talked to him, making her sentences sound like they all ended in exclamation points.

"You want to hold him?" Harry asked as he handed him to me, not waiting for my response. I had had every intention of saying no. I had expected this to happen. But I would have bet anything that Harry knew I would try to resist and that was why he pushed him onto me anyway. I wasn't sure how to hold him. I had never held a child in my life. I held him a foot away from my body but he wriggled in my arms. "Let him on your hip, that helps." Andromeda suggested politely. I tried to do as she said, his legs falling on either side of my body. He leaned against me and looked up at me curiously. His hand reached out and tugged at my hair. He cooed at me, "Naw boo!"

I looked over at Andromeda, completely befuddled by his language.

"He's always amazed that other people don't have blue hair." She explained with a proud smile.

I looked back at Teddy and watched as his hair turned pale blonde to match my own. He patted his hair and then reached out and tugged mine again. Even his eyes slowly turned blue like mine. "Dwaco!" He giggled playfully.

"Well isn't that a sight?"

I looked away from my little clone in my arms to see Ron walking into the room with Hermione. Both of them stared at us, but with very different expressions. Hermione looked oddly delighted and Ron just appeared to be confused. More gingers appeared in the room, bringing in a few plates of desserts. My face turned crimson and I quickly handed Teddy off to Andromeda. His hair and eyes turned back to their natural shade quickly. I couldn't help but fold my arms across my chest. Harry discreetly nudged me, and I knew he was telling me to try and look more friendly. I forced my arms apart, but shoved my hands in the pockets of the denim he had made me wear. A plump red headed woman crossed the room toward us. We still had not moved more than a foot from the front door. She had a warm smile on her face but I could tell she was slightly uncomfortable from the look in her eyes.

"Harry, lovely to see you as always." She enthused as she reached out and hugged him tight in her arms. She clearly saw him as a son. This was much more significant than having met Harry's dead parents. This was clearly his family now. She let Harry go and turned toward me, "And a happy Christmas to you, Draco." She didn't seem to know what to do with herself. She looked like she instinctively wanted to hug me, but knew not to. She didn't want to shake my hand either. So she ultimately seemed to decide on a curt nod of the head.

"Happy Christmas, Mrs. Weasley." I said as politely as I could. I felt ridiculous.

"You haven't met most of us yet, have you?" She asked kindly.

"Unfortunately, no. I'm afraid I'm only really familiar with Ron and Hermione." I admitted, glancing and nodding toward them.

"Well, allow me to introduce you then." She said, gesturing for me to follow her around the room. Her husband appeared first. "This is Arthur, I'm — sure you know of him." I had heard only terrible things about him, none of which were likely true. We shook hands briefly, and he gripped my hand a bit too tight and continued to frown my way. He was clearly somewhat displeased at my presence in his house. I was then introduced to her number of children, and their dates. It was a dizzying array of gingers that I could not keep track of, all of their names blending together. The only one who stuck in my memory was George. His missing ear made him easy to identify. Another baby circulated among them, apparently the child of the eldest.

With introductions out of the way, everyone seemed to relax and fall back into their previous positions. Some of the Weasleys returned to what appeared to be the kitchen on the other side of the wide fireplace. Teddy went from one lap to the next, making his hair and eye color change with each of them to mimic them. Harry sat in a loveseat and pulled me along with him. I sat stiff as a board beside him. I felt really uncomfortable, and I didn't feel like I could relax against Harry without being judged for it. I had to pretend as if we weren't a couple, as if I didn't desperately want to lean into his side and rest my head on his shoulder or wrap my arm around him. It would attract too much attention from them, from people who already didn't like me. I didn't need to give them any more reason to dislike me.

Teddy crawled over to Hermione and Ron sitting on the other loveseat across the room. He pulled himself up into Hermione's lap. She scooped him up, "Hello, Teddy. How are you today?" He didn't say anything, he just laughed and his hair morphed into long curly brown locks. It looked positively ridiculous on the small child. Everyone laughed, myself included. A plate of sugar cookies rotated around the room, being passed from chair to couch to chair. Ginny happened to be seated in a chair on my side of the room and handed me the plate. I couldn't help but make eye contact. She smiled at me and it surprised me so much that my hand slipped and the plate crashed to the floor. The little snowmen and trees went flying off the plate and onto the carpet. Thankfully, the plate didn't break. Everyone turned and stared. I quickly grabbed my wand from my pocket and fixed the mess. The dust flew right off the treats and returned to the plate, which I quickly sent across the room onto the table in the middle. "Sorry," I mumbled shyly. Nobody said anything, everyone just continued to gawk awkwardly at me. Teddy finally broke the silence with his tiny voice, "It okay." I glanced at him and he smiled cheerfully before going back to playing with Hermione and Ron. Their attention diverted back to the child and I took the opportunity to slip off the couch.

I could feel Harry's eyes following me. I had no idea where to go, having never been in this house before. So I opted to just casually slip out the front door again into the cold air. It had been getting too hot in there anyway. Nobody seemed to notice me leaving or object to it. I took a few steps away from the door and unbuttoned the collar of my shirt. I tipped my head back and looked up at the stars and tried to find my star. My eyes roamed through the familiar heavens. I spotted my star quicker than I expected. I took a deep breath as I looked at the star burning brightly so far away. I heard the door open behind me.

"Please don't make me go back in there, Harry."

"I won't."

I jumped and spun around to see Ginny standing there, crossing her arms to hold out against the cold.

"Hey." She said with a small smile. "Don't worry, I'm not here to yell at you. I know you're probably thinking I am, but I swear I'm not."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did yell at me. I deserve it."

"No you don't." Ginny said frankly, "You haven't done anything wrong. Well, not lately anyway." She smirked.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Yes. Can't help it. Old habits die hard and all that." She explained as she moved to stand beside me. She glanced up at the stars for a moment before looking over at me. "Just so you know, I don't have any issues with you."

I let out a soft sigh of relief, "Well, as lovely as that is, it seems like your family still has issues with me."

"I know. I'm sorry. They look at you and they see your father. You do look uncannily like him after all."

I shook my head, "I know. I can't stand it. I'm not him. I'm not that man anymore."

"Clearly. You're way too polite to be the same Draco. The old you would have walked in and insulted us until you were blue in the face. I think they have to recognize how different you are from your family, how different you are in general." Ginny explained. "Give them a chance. They'll warm up to you before you know it. We Weasleys tend to be more open minded than other pure blood families."

"Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in."

"Come on, we should head back in there. You can't hide from them forever."

"Can I ask you something before we go back?" I asked abruptly, nearly cutting her off. She nodded. "Does it make you uncomfortable that I'm here with him? I mean — if I just held his hand would you feel uncomfortable?"

She coughed and looked away for a moment. "I'm not uncomfortable that you're here with him. I've come to terms with it. I dunno, holding hands probably won't put a dagger in my heart. Just don't kiss him in front of me. I don't know if I can handle that much. I will some day I'm sure, but not today."

"Thank you. I just — I don't want to make anyone feel weird here."

"Well, a little late for the weirdness. But that's to be expected. Come on, rip the bandage off, let's go." She insisted, turning and heading back inside. I had no choice but to follow. I didn't want anyone to wonder why I was just staying outside by myself like a freak. We both sat back down in our respective spots, but nobody paid us any mind.

Harry immediately reached out for my hand and squeezed it tight, mumbling under his breath, "Everything alright?"

"For now anyway." I whispered back.

General chatter pervaded the room for some time, most of which I stayed out of, though Harry would say things from time to time. Even when I had something I could have said, I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want any attention. It was not long after I came back inside, however, before Mrs. Weasley called us to dinner. The crowd in the living room moved to the kitchen en masse. The table was as long as the one in my own house but was far livelier. Miscellaneous, mismatching chairs lined it on either side. The table itself was barely visible beneath mounds and hills of food. It was enough to feed a small army. Granted, there was a good fifteen or so people in the house but it still seemed like way too much food.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sat at either end of the table and their many children began to take their seats. Andromeda sat near one end with a high chair that she plopped Teddy down in. I waited for Harry to find his seat and quickly slipped down beside him. Under the table I reached out and held his hand tight in mind. It was more like a vice grip. He didn't flinch or shy away from it. He just let me hold him as tight as I needed to, even if it was cutting off the blood flow to his fingertips. To my surprise, everyone just started grabbing at food immediately without waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Weasley to start first. It was clearly a far less formal family than my own. Not that I minded. If anything, I preferred it. I let go of Harry and cautiously took some helpings of the food in front of me.

Mrs. Weasley sat only a few chairs away from us, Ron and Hermione sitting between us. She happened to glance over at my plate, "Draco, please, help yourself. We have plenty to go around. There's no need to stand on ceremony."

"I'm not used to having this much food." I explained with a mild blush as I reached out and took more helpings.

"How's that? Your family's stinking rich, why wouldn't you have much food?" Ron asked bluntly. I could hear Hermione hiss at him to be nice.

"It's fine, Hermione." I said simply. "We just didn't eat much. Small meal sizes and all. Why do you think I was always so skinny?"

"That explains the general lack of cheerfulness." George remarked across the table with a smirk, "Anyone who can't eat freely can't be that happy." He said just before shoving an entire roll into his mouth.

"George, you can afford _some_ manners at least." Mrs. Weasley rebuked him.

He wasn't wrong though. The general lack of cheer in my house may not have been caused strictly by our lean diets but it certainly didn't help.

Mrs. Weasley turned her attention back to me after reprimanding George, "You eat as much as you like, Draco. If you want only a little, have just a little. If you want to eat the whole table, you go right ahead."

"Oh, I think you've won her over already." Ginny laughed. "Mum can't resist the urge to nurture anybody, especially not the hungry."

Mrs. Weasley shook her head but she smiled without denying it. I wondered if it was the case that she was already thinking differently of me by knowing a little bit about my family life. If only she knew just how lifeless our family meals really were.

"I can only imagine how dour those meals must have been." Andromeda added as if reading my mind. "Let me guess, nobody speaks unless _he_ does?"

"Not really, no." I admitted.

"That's how it was in my house too, once upon a time. So strict and rigid. Mealtimes were never happy times. It's no fun being raised in a climate like that." Andromeda sympathized. The look she gave me was almost uncomfortably motherly. It was not unlike the look my mother gave me from time to time. I was sure my mum didn't like how uncomfortably tense our dinners as a family were either, but she probably didn't feel like she could do anything about it.

"Wait, you ate your dinners in silence?" One of the elder ginger men asked. I couldn't figure out which one it was. Billy? Charles? Perseus?

I nodded, "Yeah, mostly. My parents aren't really conversationalists."

"Well, that explains a lot." Ron quipped.

"Ronald, honestly." Hermione sighed beside him.

"I'm just saying, anyone that grows up in that strict of a home might have a hard time being a cheery person." Ron shrugged.

"No, you're right." I said simply. I appreciated Ron's ability to be frank. "A lot of the reason I was … the way I was, is because of my parents. But things are different now." I glanced at Harry and couldn't help but smirk, "Obviously."

This made most of them laugh, Harry especially. It was so absurd. I, a Malfoy, was eating at the Weasley table with a Potter. What an odd world it was indeed. The conversation naturally diverted away from me and into various topics. Butterbeers were passed around as people went for second helpings of food. I didn't bother with actual food in my second round, and opted for a plate of desserts instead, gladly taking a butterbeer when it was passed to me. Not surprisingly, the conversation eventually turned to Quidditch.

"So, Ron, are you going to stop supporting the Cannons so you can support your beloved sister's team instead?" Ginny asked just before taking a swig of butterbeer.

"Are you out of your mind? Of course not." He said proudly.

"How very rude," She laughed.

"Oh, Ron, don't get all high and mighty. The Chudley Cannons are one of the worst teams, if you supported the Harpies instead at least you would have more victories to celebrate." George pointed out.

"Hey, they Canons have won the cup twenty one times!" He argued passionately.

"Oh, right, when was the last one?" Harry asked with a smile, knowing full well what the answer was.

"1892!" Ginny cackled.

"They're bound to make a comeback any day. My loyalty to them will be rewarded on that day, mark my words." Ron said melodramatically.

"Oh, give it a rest. You know damn well the Cannons ain't gonna win a thing." One of the elder gingers, the scruffy looking one, slurred.

"Oi, Draco, which team?" Ginny asked good naturedly.

"Puddlemere United, but I wouldn't mind watching a Harpies game. They are a wonderful team, and I'm sure you do amazingly with them."

"Of course I do." She said proudly. "But Puddlemere isn't half bad either."

"Oh, rubbish." The scruffy ginger piped in. "They're doing perfectly wretched this season. Their team's gone downhill since their keeper dropped out."

"It's an off season, I'll admit." I added, "But I'm still going to root for them."

"See? What's wrong with being loyal?" Ron said, "If Draco can be loyal to Puddlemere in an off season, why can't I to the Cannons?"

"Because the Cannons have been having an off season for over a hundred years." George mocked with a laugh.

I couldn't help but notice Hermione, Fleur, and Andromeda exchanging looks of total boredom. They were actually mouthing words at each other, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, however, seemed thoroughly amused by the bickering over the sport. When it started to get out of hand with insults being thrown between the brothers, Mrs. Weasley intervened. "That's enough, boys!" She yelled over their tantrums. They slowly settled down and she called their attention back to her, "Okay, okay, now that you've calmed down perhaps you'd all like your gifts then?"

I glanced at Harry nervously. He just smiled and didn't say anything. Everyone agreed that their meals were finished and they would all love to get their gifts. The table was cleared with a flick of her wand, and with another swish, several packages came floating from elsewhere in the house into the room. Each wrapped item gracefully landed in front of us. Much to my surprise, there was even one for me. Everyone started tearing the wrapping paper to bits. I delicately took the wrapping apart, undoing it one strip of tape at a time. I did not notice what the others had, I only focused on carefully opening my own. Finally, the paper fell aside and floated to the ground to reveal a folded up sweater. It was clearly hand knit. The yarn was a deep emerald green, with a silver "D" inscribed in the middle of the chest. I looked up and realized everyone else had put on similar looking sweaters. Harry pulled his on over his head. It was a deep purple with a white "H" in the middle. I looked over at Mrs. Weasley. She just smiled over at me. I didn't deserve it. I didn't understand why she had made it. Perhaps it was just so I didn't feel excluded. Regardless, I felt honored. I nodded my thanks to her before slipping it on over my shirt. It was far comfier than anything else I owned. The yarn was soft as could be.

Desserts continued to be passed around, along with more bottles of butterbeer. I could feel myself loosening and relaxing in my seat. But it began to get late. Teddy became fussy and started to cry and Andromeda decided it was best if she left. She bid a goodbye to everyone, but stopped to come over to me. "It was lovely to get to know you, Draco. If you ever wish to visit, please do. Teddy would love to know his cousin better, and I can't deny that I would enjoy getting to know you better as well." This was the closest I had ever been with any of my family, and I had only just met her. It was a curious thing. I assured her I would have to visit soon. She went off into the living room and travelled through floo powder back home.

As the night drew on, guests began to tire out and head to bed. With no extra room in a house that already was home to too many people, Harry and I decided it was time for us to go home as well. Harry stood, and I followed suit, though my balance was a bit off from the butterbeer.

"We really ought to be going, Molly." Harry said.

"Oh, I wish you could stay."

"You know there's no room, mum." Ron mumbled around a cake.

"I suppose not." Molly admitted, standing and coming around to our side of the table. She reached out and hugged Harry again, patting him on the back, "You come by whenever you like, love. I miss you, you know."

"I know, Molly. I'll try to come home more often." He assured her as they pulled apart.

She turned to me and sighed with a content smile, "Well. You're certainly not what I had expected. But it's obvious you're not the same as your family. It was wrong of me to judge you for what your father has done. You're a good lad. I know you're not a hugger, but would you mind terribly if I asked for a hug?"

"I wouldn't mind at all." I insisted.

Her arms wrapped around me and I felt as if I was being surrounded in a protection charm, as if nothing could hurt me again. My mother loves me, fiercely. But she never could hug me like Molly Weasley. "You take good care of him, alright? Keep him out of trouble." She murmured to me.

"I promise I will."

She pulled away after this, but I still felt oddly protected by her presence. "Alright boys, now you take the floo system home, alright? Never apparate while tipsy, that's a sure fire way to splinch yourselves."

"Yeah, Molly, I know." Harry laughed, taking my hand, "I was planning on taking the floo system anyway. Bye everyone!" He called as we started to head out of the room. Everyone waved goodbye and was generally merry as we left. He led us back around the corner into the living room and threw the powder into the fire. We stepped through and straight back into our home back in London.

"Well, that was quite a night, wasn't it?" Harry asked with a yawn cutting off his sentence.

"Yes, it was." I said, unable to hide my general cheer.

"See, I told you they would like you once they got to know you."

"Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in." I laughed and started to head toward the hall when I recalled, "Oh! I have something for you. Go sit down, I'm gonna grab it."

"I don't need any gifts, Draco." He argued but he sat down on the couch anyway as I disappeared into the kitchen. I had hid it inside my medicine cabinet. A little wrapped package waited for me within. I quickly grabbed it and headed back to the living room. I plopped down on the couch next to him and handed him the little silver wrapped box.

"We never talked about getting gifts, you know."

"I know. It's okay if you didn't get me anything though." I assured him.

He smiled, "Are you kidding? Of course I did." He bent over and slipped a small box out from under the couch, passing it over to me. "You first."

"Why me?"

"Because I said so, just do it."

I rolled my eyes but did as he asked. Again, I was delicate in undoing the wrappings. He didn't complain though, he just waited patiently. I carefully opened the box within and instantly blushed. "Harry, what the hell?" I sputtered as I stared down at the black thong inside.

He burst out laughing, "I'm sorry, I really couldn't help it."

I leaned over and lightly punched at his arm, "You're such an arse."

"No, no, take it out, there's something else in there!" He insisted.

I sighed and took the thong out, setting it on the armrest awkwardly. There was no way in hell I was wearing that thing. Underneath the silly gift was a much smaller box inside. When I opened this one it revealed a single coin with "D.A." scrawled on it. The coin had been given a pinned back, making it wearable.

"I know you can't wear any sort of jewelry on the job, but I know you're allowed pins on your scrubs. We still had a couple of spare D.A. coins. You might as well be an honorary member of Dumbledore's Army now, I reckon. And, hey, in the very least it'll be like having me with you at work and such." He was fumbling over his words and he seemed a bit embarrassed. I took it out and ran my thumb over it.

I looked over at him and beamed, "Thank you. I — I always was a bit jealous of the Army."

"Well, no need to be now. I can teach you what I taught them all of those years ago sometime, if you like."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do."

I safely put the pin back in its box and placed it on the coffee table before moving closer to Harry and kissing him sweetly. "You've no idea how much that means to me."

"Oh, I have an idea."

"Shush, open yours now." I said eagerly. I had put an incredible amount of thought into it, and it had taken so long to put together.

He tore off the wrapping paper and looked at the box curiously. It was a giant matchbox. "What's this all about?"

"Do you remember our second year when we went to duel? Lockhart wanted you to team up with Ron, but Snape insisted that if you tried to duel with his broken wand you'd end up in the hospital wing in a matchbox."

He looked at me with a raised brow, "You remembered that tiny detail?"

My blush returned, "Yeah. Sorry, it's a bit obscure."

"No, it's perfectly like you to remember the little things." He said before turning back to the box. He slid the box out and saw a swatch of black cloth. He picked it out, revealing a number of trinkets beneath it. He ran the fabric through his hands and looked at me curiously.

"It's from my first year robes, from when we met at Madame Malkin's for the first time, before I knew who you were." I explained.

He smiled and put it aside to retrieve more items from the box. He laughed as he took out a little white ferret doll. "Oh this is too precious." He chuckled, smoothing the soft hairs down across the little toy. "You even got him a friend!" He kept laughing as he took out a little hippogriff made to look just like Buckbeak. "God, the look on your face when Buckbeak attacked you was priceless. You were so careless in trying to show off."

"I know. Keep digging around in there." I encouraged.

He pulled out a couple pins of his own, one being a replica of my Inquisitorial squad badge (which was rather ironic and made him laugh far too much) and the other being a simple Slytherin pin. "Since our first date was a Quidditch match where Slytherin won, it seemed appropriate." I explained. He pulled out a small snitch replica in honor our many matches against each other while in school.

"Now what's this?" He asked, picking out a small bottle.

"Little bit of bubble bath liquid." I smirked.

He looked over at me and grinned, "Really? For our time in the prefect's bath?" I nodded. He shook his head at me and pulled out a similar glass vial of a dark liquid, "What about this then?"

"It's a solution to counter the effects of a stinging jinx."

His cheery smile shifted into something different. He ran his thumb over the glass and looked over at me. "You really went all out with this didn't you?"

"Why don't you look at the last couple of things in there?" I said, not answering his question on purpose.

He put the various trinkets to rest on the table in front of us and returned to the remaining items in the giant matchbox. The last bottle was labelled as firewhiskey. "This isn't for that first night here is it?"

"Of course it is."

"Well, we're definitely drinking that later." He said as he put it on the table with the rest of the items. He reached down and pulled out the last item. It was some folded up papers. He opened them up and immediately smiled to himself. It was a copy of the letter I had sent him after the battle. "I can't believe I never bothered to reply to this. I can't believe I didn't realize how I felt then." While he was reading over the letter again, I reached out with my wand and silently cast a revealing charm. The ink shifted and molded into an entirely different, new note.

 _Harry,_

 _Our history is what brought us to our present, and I'll always be grateful for every memory I have with you. No matter how ugly or unpleasant some of them may be, they all brought us to where we are today and I wouldn't change that for all the world._

 _Here's to making more memories than can't be contained in a little box, to having many more Christmases like this one._

 _I love you, with all that I am._

 _Draco_

His hand covered his mouth suddenly but I could tell he was still smiling. He folded the letter back up and put it down on the table. He looked over at me and I could see his eyes had misted over a bit. I couldn't help but smile, "Too cheesy?"

"No, it's fucking perfect." He said quickly before wrapping his arms around me and kissing me deeply.


	22. Harry's New Year

**A/N: Let me just start with a warning; this is a (somewhat gratuitous) sexual chapter. Now, that's not to say that there isn't an important part of their relationship that is explored here and a fair bit of fluff. I swear this chapter isn't mindless. That being said, ye be warned. Although, something tells me more people are going to be happy about this than unhappy - but just in case.**

 **Music: Paralyzer - Finger Eleven, Seven Nation Army - the White Stripes, and I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys.**

* * *

December 31st, 2001

"Oh these are ridiculous." Draco laughed as he picked up the flimsy paper glasses that someone had given to me at work. He put them on and beamed, "Hey, I look like you now!"

"Oh for pity's sake, no you don't." I giggled. "My glasses don't have giant purple 2's on either side of them." I reached out and took them off his face, throwing them back onto the coffee table. "Are you already drunk? We haven't even gotten out the champagne yet."

"No, I'm just excited." He admitted. "I've never celebrated the new year before."

"It's not that special, you know." I teased him, "We're just waiting to hear Ben hit midnight. Which isn't for another couple of hours, you know."

"Yeah, but it's still a bit exciting, isn't it? The idea of a fresh start and all of that."

I leaned into him and curled up in his arms on the couch, resting my head on his chest. "I don't think we need a fresh start. I think we've already gotten it."

"How do you reckon?" He asked curiously as he played with my hair.

"Well, in the course of a few months we put our old resentments aside and fell in love, I broke Ginny's heart to be with you but she's actually forgiven both of us for it, the whole Weasley family has grown to like you better, and your family grew when you met Andromeda and Teddy. I would say that's a pretty fresh slate."

"Yes, but that was only the last half of the year. We have this whole year ahead to have even more new beginnings."

"What else would you want to change?" I asked, genuinely curious. He obviously had a specific idea in mind if he was still pressing the matter.

He sighed as he ran his hand through my hair. I could feel my skin ripple with goose bumps. I loved the feeling. If he kept it up much longer I knew I would fall asleep from being too relaxed and cozy. "If there's one thing I'd want to change still, it's my father."

"I know." I murmured against his chest. I absentmindedly ran a hand down his chest. "Where the hell do you find the time to work out. I've gone all flabby over the holidays and you still have abs, what the hell?"

He shook with laughter, "Harry, quit distracting me. I'm having a moment."

"Sorry, sorry. Go on. Daddy problems, got it."

He laughed some more before carrying on, "I just want him to change. I know he probably won't and that it's wishful thinking to assume that he will. But I just want him to accept who I've become, and to accept you. Is it asking too much?"

"Not at all." I insisted.

He sighed softly and I could hear his lungs working in his chest, the sound of his heartbeat almost forming a rhythm with his breaths. I shut my eyes and listened.

"Harry."

"Mm?"

"Don't fall asleep. It's only ten fifteen. We have to be up til midnight."

"No."

"Harry."

"No."

He tried to push me off of him but I just clung to him like velcro. "Harry, for the love of Merlin, sit up. You have to stay awake."

I groaned and forced myself to sit upright, "It's not my fault. You're really comfortable." I pouted. He just laughed and shook his head at me. "I need something to keep me awake. Sitting here and talking with the fire going is only going to relax me until I fall asleep." I explained.

"Wizard's chess?"

"Ugh, no." I rolled my eyes. "You always kick my ass, why would I wanna play that?"

He grinned, "Because you know I love beating you at chess?"

"Not good enough. Come on, preoccupy me until midnight." I encouraged.

He hummed in thought, looking up at nothing in particular as he thought. A lightbulb seemed to go off above his head and his eyes moved back to me. His lips curved up slowly. My brows knit together curiously, not understanding what this look meant right away. A gleam flickered in his eyes.

"Oh." It hit me like a brick wall. "Oh!" My cheeks flushed red.

"Why not?" He shrugged. "It is a pretty good time killer."

"Yeah, but last time you said —"

"Yes, I did, didn't I?" His wicked grin just grew like the old cartoon Grinch film they played around this time of year.

I vividly remembered when we had last had sex a few days ago. He had insisted that the next time the mood struck us, he was going to have to insist on dominating me. The thought of being dominated by him was not altogether unpleasant. It was the thought of being penetrated that made me uncomfortable. Up to that point if we had penetrative sex it was always me on top. I just wasn't comfortable with switching positions yet. I still wasn't. But he was insisting.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, his voice dropping into a near whisper.

A shiver ran down my spine and we weren't even touching. "Yes, of course I do."

"Then there's nothing to be afraid of, is there?" He pointed out as he moved closer to me.

"I'm just nervous," I admitted as he moved to sit in my lap, facing me.

He ran a hand through my hair, his eyes flickering across my face as he smiled. His love was apparent in this expression. I felt my heart race in my chest. He parted his lips as if to speak again, but seemed to think better of it and went to kiss me instead. As always, his lips were softer than velvet against my own. I felt my mind slowly shutting down, cancelling out all interfering thoughts so I could focus on nothing but him. His lips pressed against mine, his hand drifting down from my hair down my neck and chest. His hand slipped underneath the fabric of my shirt and he murmured against my lips, "You know, if you actually bothered with button downs this would go a lot faster." I didn't bother to reply, I just kissed him hard to physically shut him up. His hand was cold, it usually was. The goosebumps reappeared on my skin. I sat up straight, not breaking our contact at all as I shrugged my hoodie off my shoulders and tossed it aside.

He began rolling my shirt up. I slipped my arms out of the sleeves and we broke apart only long enough to pull it up off over my head. We collided again aggressively. As was often the case with us, we may have started off sweet but it got combative quickly. It had always been that way with us. Our hatred had always culminated in rage. We fell back into this fiery emotion even now that we were together, though it never had quite the same venom behind it it once had. Which, naturally, was for the best.

He leaned away from me and undid the buttons on his ebony shirt, letting it slip gracefully off his shoulders so it fell to the floor below. My hand traced the scars on his chest from the _sectumsempra_ curse I had lodged at him all those years ago. I couldn't help but frown. He reached out and tilted my chin up to look him in the eye. He didn't need to say anything. His expression said everything. It was not often I noticed these scars. Usually, we were so rushed to get in bed we didn't pay much attention to the little things.

"They're just a part of us, Harry. All of them." His fingertips lowered and traced the odd oval like scar over my heart from the locket. I sported a number of scars and had grown used to it. But it always stung to see the ones on his body. He took my hand off from his chest and held it in his own hand. His eyes turned down to the faded white scar on the back of my hand. He tenderly kissed over the scar. "There's no point trying to correct them, or feeling ashamed or guilty for them."

"But you didn't cause any of my scars." I argued.

"I might as well have. We've both hurt each other in the past and left physical and invisible scars. But that's in the past. I forgave you long ago for all of them. Now, can you quit being so damn sentimental so I can get back to snogging you?" He asked, his serious disposition being replaced by his cocky grin.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Oh, I suppose I can manage that."

"How gracious of you," He quipped as he slowly removed himself from my lap. "Now, get on your fucking back."

I raised an eyebrow and smirked at the authority in his voice. He hadn't talked to me like that, like he could order me around, since our school days. Nonetheless, I did as he said and sprawled across the couch. He wasted no time in climbing over me, his body eclipsing my own. He kissed me so hard his teeth scraped my lips and cut them a bit. The taste of iron filled our mouths. He did not linger on my lips for long. He shifted his attention and his lips caressed down my jaw toward my ear. He had learned awhile ago that this was a particular weak spot of mine. His mouth rested just beneath my ear and brushed against the soft skin of my neck. He kissed lightly against my flesh, but all I could focus on was the sound of his breath so close to me. It was almost deafening. He nipped at me with his teeth and exhaled sharply, sounding almost like a dragon. My arms wrapped around him as if on instinct. I held tight to him, my nails making crescents in his shoulder blades. I could already tell that he was bruising my flesh, that I would have to use a salve to heal it quickly in the morning. We always kept a jar of it in his medicine cabinet it had happened on so many occasions.

He stopped biting suddenly and kissed over the flushed skin instead.

"You're such a fucking tease." I groaned irritably.

He laughed and turned to look at me, "It's called vengeance, sweetheart."

"Yeah, well, I don't appreciate it. It literally hurts." This was true. I had gotten stiff enough that my jeans had suddenly become too tight to be comfortable. It was agonizing.

"Too fucking bad, Potter." He smirked, kissing my cheek as he grinded his hips down against me. I winced and scratched roughly at his back. I got the slightest sense of satisfaction at his own grimace from the pain.

"Hurt?" I taunted.

"Funny, I was just about to ask the same thing." His hips pressed down against me as he smiled down at me maliciously. He was enjoying this far too much.

"Oh, I am _so_ gonna give you hell for this next time."

"I'm shaking in my boots." He mocked as he moved away from me. He leaned back, putting his weight on my thighs. His hands traced down my chest until they hit the hem of my jeans. "Getting tight in there?" He asked as he stared at the obvious bulge in the denim.

"Just a bit, jackass."

"Tsk tsk, such foul language. Have you ever noticed your quick to temper when you're turned on? Because I have. And I have to say," As he spoke he was slowly undoing the button and zipper of my jeans. "It really is quite attractive."

"Shut the fuck up and take them off."

"Oh, well if you put it like that." His hands moved away and roamed back up my chest and he followed, slowly lowering himself back across my body. "You don't get to boss me around this time, love." He murmured. "I get to decide when I want you naked and when I don't. And since you asked for it, I won't give it to you. Although, I suppose, if you begged nice enough I might reconsider."

I rested a hand against the back of his neck and pulled him close, kissing him zealously. I pulled our lips apart long enough to whisper pathetically, "Please, Draco."

He pressed our mouths back together briefly before relenting. "Well, since you asked so nicely." He edged off my body and pushed my jeans off quickly. The underwear went right along with it. I was in a daze from the hormones flooding my brain and hardly noticed that Draco was now kneeling on the floor beside the couch. His wand appeared from his back pocket. The coffee table pushed itself far against the opposite wall. A small bottle zipped into the room from the hall. I knew what it was immediately and tensed slightly. Just the sight of it had made me anxious. He seemed to sense this tension, "Relax." He murmured, "Come on, get down here. It's way too cramped on the couch."

I sat up and felt the blood rush from my head. I tried to ease off the couch, but was so dizzy I nearly collapsed. Draco caught me and pulled me close, "Easy now." He steadied me and we stayed there for a few moments, leaning against the couch and occasionally kissing.

"So when are you planning on taking your own pants off?"

"All in good time, be patient." He assured me as he slowly lowered me back down. The hardwood was cool to the touch. He left a kiss on my lips before moving away long enough to remove the remainder of his clothing. He returned to me with a fervent kiss. His hand wrapped around my length. I gasped in surprise but relished in the feeling. He teased the sensitive flesh briefly. I knew he was just trying to distract me, and it was working. "Ready?" He asked against my lips.

My muscles tensed beneath him.

"You're going to have to relax for this to work, love." He reminded me. "Deep breaths."

I tried to center myself and focus on my breathing. He hadn't even fucking touched me there yet and I was already freaking out. I had a really bad feeling this wouldn't go well.

"We don't have to, Harry." He murmured seriously. I knew he wouldn't be mad if I changed my mind. I was half tempted. But I knew I would have to do this eventually. I wanted to do this, deep down. I swallowed my fear and opened my eyes to see him hovering over me. He was waiting patiently for my consent. He had stopped touching me.

"I want to."

"You're sure?"

"Completely." I assured him.

He smiled lovingly before kissing my forehead. "Knees up then, love." He positioned himself between my legs and I wrapped them around his hips. The bottle reappeared, suddenly in his hand. I had used it with him several times before. The lubrication was more for my benefit than his when we usually fooled around. He had told me he had some sort of procedure to make it easier for him to be in the submissive. I had no such thing, so the lubrication was completely essential this time. He spread the liquid-like substance against my opening and all I could think was how fucking simple it was to have sex when a couple is straight. Sex had never really required much thought between me and Ginny. It just happened. Sure, Draco and I had impulsive fucks here and there, but it usually required more effort as it did now. There had to be more intention put into it. In this instance, there was far more intimacy involved. He did his best to make it less awkward, distracting me with a smattering of kisses. It worked well enough, but it didn't change the fact that it was slightly awkward. I tried not to shy away from it. I reminded myself that I had always known this part would be awkward.

He was able to ease a digit into me with little trouble, much to my relief. I knew his length was going to be quite a bit bigger than a single finger, but it was still a good start. The feeling was not exactly pleasurable just yet. It was odd. It was not like any other erotic feeling I had had in my lifetime. It was so incredibly different. I wondered vaguely if this was what it felt like for women, but I doubted it. To make up for the lack of sensitivity thus far, he kept me preoccupied by kissing me along my neck again. His breath hot against my skin managed to keep me completely aroused the whole while. More lubrication was added, followed shortly by a second finger. It was slightly more uncomfortable than the one, but it was not unbearable or even painful at all. I had dealt with so much worse that I couldn't help but wonder if my pain tolerance was abnormally high now.

He whispered beside my ear, tickling the skin, "May I slither in now?"

"If I wasn't so fucking turned on I'd kill you for that shitty line." I murmured, "But yes, just fuck me already. I can handle it."

He snickered a bit before slipping his fingers out of me. I ran a hand up into his hair, messing it all up as he positioned himself. He carefully entered my body, holding himself steady as he did so. I let out a soft gasp.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." I reassured him. It had been slightly painful, but again I suspected my experience of pain in the past had made this seem like nothing by comparison.

Once he had himself positioned, he let his arms fall to either side of me. He tucked his head against my shoulder, his hair tickling my jaw as he began to thrust himself into me. A sharp ricochet of painful pleasure went up my spine. No fucking wonder anal existed. It was such a surprising mix of a deep pleasure with shadows of pain echoing in the background. I ran a hand through his hair, the other lodging itself back in place in his shoulder again. It was slightly miraculous we had not added permanent scars to each other's bodies since we had started fucking like rabbits. He rocked into me with a steady rhythm. I felt like I could barely breathe. I tipped my head back and shut my eyes tight. I wanted to focus on nothing but the feeling of him in me.

Moans and groans escaped my lungs. Sweat dripped down his back and beaded my forehead. I felt as if every nerve ending was on high alert. I could feel his breath against my damp skin, his teeth suddenly biting into my shoulder abruptly. Suffice it is to say that I did not last very long. He may have only been fucking me for five whole minutes before I started to weaken. I held onto him tight, his name falling from my lips in frantic pants. Every muscle in my body seemed to tense before the sweet release of the orgasm rocked through me. My tightening around him seemed to be all he needed to finish off as well. His hips bucked into me one last time, filling me completely. I went limp beneath him, my legs slowly falling to the sides. The muscles in my thighs were trembling. He carefully removed himself before he rolled off of me. He laid on the floor beside me, catching his breath. I turned to look at him just as he did the same.

"Ten points to Slytherin," I murmured weakly.

He laughed silently, as if he was completely out of air to even laugh. A loud banging pervaded the air and we both jumped.

"Merlin's beard, it's midnight." Draco realized. He sat up on one arm, looking down at me, "Happy New Year Harry."

"Happy New Year Draco," I managed to say before he kissed me as the clock in the middle of town sounded out twelve distinct rings.


	23. Draco's Fiasco

January 2002

I had been in the middle of changing out of my scrubs and into my lazy clothes (Harry had finally convinced me that sweatpants were not an abomination) when a bright bluish white light came bursting in through the wall. I screamed in surprise and tripped over the scrubs I had just thrown on the floor, falling onto my rear. The light was a stag stepping through the room toward me. My heart raced. I had never seen it before, but I knew immediately that it was Harry's patronus. Everyone at Hogwarts knew about it. It was the thing of legends. He hadn't been home when I had come back, but I hadn't thought much of it. Once in awhile he came back late, it wasn't that alarming. This, however, was perfectly alarming. My terror only increased when the stag spoke in his voice, making my heart skip a beat, "Please, do not panic. There was no other way to send you word. There's been an emergency and we've all been called out. I do not know when I'll be home, but it could be awhile. It's strictly confidential until it's resolved. I love you, I'm sorry."

The stag faded as quickly as it had appeared. I was left sitting on the bedroom floor in my sweatpants, stunned. "Dammit, Harry." I grumbled to myself as I got back on my feet. I was still shirtless when the stag had come bounding in. Out of spite, I walked across the room and picked up his red shirt from the floor. He literally only owned three shirts and just cycled through them on a day to day basis. I figured I was entitled to steal his shirt when he was leaving me alone, likely for the whole weekend. We had plans to go out for brunch tomorrow, and I had even been planning on making him his favorite dinner. But apparently I had a night all to myself. I supposed I could catch up on reading _Pride and Prejudice_. I headed downstairs. I was resigned to having to make myself some shitty quick meal when I heard a sound in the living room. I changed my path and turned into the room. The fire was lit in the fireplace, glowing green. I glanced around the room for a moment, wondering if whoever the guest was had already appeared. I turned back to the fire just as someone stepped through the fireplace.

Andromeda stepped out of the hearth and onto the rug, carrying Teddy in her arms. She looked up and sighed in relief, "Oh, Draco. I'm glad you're here."

"What's going on?"

Her hair was flying in a bout a million directions, her robes were disheveled at best, and she had deep bags under her eyes. "I love my grandson dearly, but I'm going to kill him." Sure enough, Teddy was balled up in her arms, his face contorted and his hair a dark, unnatural red. He let out a wail of anger. "He's just being fussy. I've fed him, he's gone potty twice. He's just tired and refusing to sleep. Problem is is that I haven't slept in days because of his tantrums every night." She shouted over him, "I hate to impose, but Molly and Arthur are out of town for the weekend on holiday. I'm afraid I must insist, for his own safety, that you and Harry take care of him for the weekend. I'll be fine with a few day's rest. I just need a break." She put him down on the floor. Teddy just stood there and wailed some more. He didn't seem to even realize where he was. She dropped a bag on the floor beside him. "Everything he needs is in there. I'll be back Sunday. I really appreciate this." She stressed as she started back toward the fire.

"Um, you're welcome." I said as I realized that I wasn't to have any say in the matter.

She popped back into the fire and in a few moments the green hue faded, the connection severed, and the fire extinguished itself.

Teddy's howling was beginning to hurt my ears and I was too tempted to just cast _muffliato_ over him, but I knew it wouldn't really help. It would silence him, sure, but it wouldn't solve the problem. I had no idea what to do.

"Teddy?" I spoke one level over his shouting as I knelt down in front of the toddler.

The volume of his cries decreased and he relaxed just enough to be able to open his watery eyes. His cheeks were streaming with his angry tears. He seemed to finally take notice of me, but it didn't make any difference.

"You get to spend the weekend with cousin Draco, is that okay?" Not that it mattered if he cared or not, but I felt he should at least think he had a say in the matter.

His sobbing quieted still and he nodded.

"Good. How about I show you around?" I suggested. "Want to see my house?"

He hiccuped and shrugged. He had stopped screaming now, but the tears were still flowing strongly.

"Is it okay if I pick you up? You'll be able to see more if you're up higher."

He nodded and I carefully picked him up. I only barely remembered to rest him on my hip, though it was slightly awkward to do so. I held him up and turned us around in a slow circle of the room. "This is our living room. We just sit here and read, mostly. This is my big boring bookshelf full of dry medical books. Maybe I'll read you some later, I know it makes me fall asleep." It felt weird to be talking to this little person. I knew he didn't totally comprehend what I was saying, but he was at least someone to keep me company. I had no idea how I was going to handle him for a whole weekend without Harry. I hoped desperately that whatever was calling him away didn't take as long as he thought it would.

As I was about to step into the kitchen I heard a knock at the door. "Oh, fun. More good news I'm sure." I rolled my eyes and glanced at Teddy. His hair had gone back to blue, he was clearly happy again. I wasn't sure what to do with him. If it was a muggle at the door (like the postman who mistakenly brought us our neighbors' packages from time to time) they would surely be shocked at a toddler with blue hair. I couldn't exactly change it right now either. I decided to put him down on the couch. "You stay here for a second, Teddy. Can you do that for me?"

He nodded quietly.

"I'll be right back." I said just before turning into the hall. A knock came again. "I'm coming, I'm coming." I whined. I swung the door open and jumped back slightly in surprise. "Granger?"

"Is Harry gone too?" She asked frantically.

"I — yes. Why?"

"Ron's patronus." She cut herself off abruptly. I realized she had been crying. "It didn't say much. Just that there was an emergency. I just came running to see if Harry was here. Oh god, I don't know what's happened." I could tell she was on the verge of crying some more.

"Come in, come in." I insisted, moving out of the way.

She shuffled past me and I shut the door behind her. "What did Ron's say?"

"Just 'There's been an attack. I won't be home tonight, I'm not sure when I'll be home so don't wait up for me.' The last time someone had to send their patronus to communicate was when Scrimgeour was killed. When Voldemort took over the Ministry." She was quickly losing it. I noticed her breathing had suddenly sped up as if she was close to hyperventilating.

"It's fine. Harry's said not to panic, so don't panic."

"How can you expect me to not panic? What if it's a Death Eater gone mad? Or a copycat of Riddle?"

She was starting to pace back and forth in the hall. I was running out of ways to intervene in her quick descent into madness. I stepped forward and put my hands on her shoulders. She turned and looked at me, utterly shocked. The surprise of my touch seemed to be enough to snap her out of it, however momentarily. "Breathe." I said sternly.

"But—"

"Just shut up, and breathe." I took a deep breath for her. I had done this a couple of times at work when people were in shock over their loved one's injury. Panic was a terrifying thing and it could make people act out irrationally. Even people as logical as Hermione Granger were susceptible to this brand of fear.

She finally listened to me and took a few steadying breaths. Once she had managed a third deep breath I let go and moved away from her. "Harry did not sound nearly so dire. It sounded more like an inconvenience than anything else. But he stressed that I shouldn't panic, so I won't and neither should you. If it was truly dangerous they would have told us to run and hide. There's no point speculating what the emergency is. They've handled much worse than whatever they're facing right now."

She leaned back against the wall and took another deep breath, pressing her hand against her temple, her eyes trained to the floor. "You're right." She finally muttered.

"It happens from time to time." I replied.

She gave me a withering look for my sarcasm, but I didn't care. Teddy cooed from the living room. "What was that?" She asked me, but I had already headed off into the room to see what was happening.

Teddy had squirmed off the couch and was trying to climb my bookshelf. "No, Teddy, that's not a jungle gym." I reminded him gently as I picked him up and pulled him away from it.

He immediately started screeching again, his hair turning a violent shade of crimson. He squirmed in my arms, desperately wanting to get out so he could climb the damn thing. I held him firmly against my chest but he did his best to fight against me.

Hermione stood in the entryway of the living room staring at us blankly. "Draco, why do you have Teddy?" She asked. I wasn't sure how I managed to hear her over his screaming, as she hadn't bothered to raise her tone of voice.

"Andromeda dropped him off. He's been fussy. Won't sleep. Any tips?"

"I've never watched a child, I don't know what to do."

"Well, unfortunately, this isn't colic. I know remedies for that. This is just annoying." I explained briefly as Teddy started hitting at me angrily. I could see now why Andromeda had left him to me. I didn't know if I could restrain myself from killing him either.

"Why would Andromeda leave him alone with you?"

"She didn't know Harry wasn't here, didn't give me a chance to say. Why? Think I can't handle it?"

"You call this handling it?"

"Well he was _fine_ until you showed up."

"Why did you even leave him alone in the room to begin with? You're not supposed to leave a child his age unattended, I thought everyone knew that."

"Merlin, Hermione, not everyone is born knowing as much random information as you are." I snapped as I knelt by the bag on the floor, struggling to open it with one hand. There had to be something in there of use.

"It isn't random information, it's called logic!" She was getting angry now too, and I could hear her crystal clear over Teddy's screaming.

I finally managed the zipper of the bag and rustled through it. It was much deeper inside than it appeared to be, but this didn't surprise me. I reached in blindly and felt around. My fingers grazed against something soft. I grabbed hold and pulled out a ragged wolf toy. I held it to Teddy, "Hey, what's this guy's name? Is he yours?" He shoved the animal away with a grunt. I sat him down tentatively, and to my surprise he didn't run for the bookshelf. He seemed to have forgotten it and was now just crying for the sake of being miserable.

"Can't you give him a sleeping draft?" Hermione piped in.

"No, most potions have negative effects on small children." I explained. I couldn't help but add on, "I would have thought you would know that, Ms. Know It All."

"Oh shove off." She snapped irritably and I assumed she would storm off and leave but she didn't. She continued to stand there and watch the scene unfold.

"Don't just stand there. Either help or leave." I barked at her. I had no patience for her.

She huffed but to my surprise stepped forward into the room. She knelt in front of Teddy, and put her hands on his shoulders. "Teddy, big boys do not make such a fuss. Big boys tell people what they need and ask nicely for it. What do you need, Teddy?" She spoke calmly.

Again, his screaming slowly subsided but did not vanish completely.

"Do you want to be a grown boy and do what grown boys do?" She asked.

He nodded, his crying diminishing to no more than a faint whimper now.

"Then why don't you start by telling me what you need right now," She suggested.

He looked around the room curiously, and I watched as his hair slowly but surely faded. It dulled to a copper brown shade before slowly lightening to a soft brown. "I want story." He pointed over at the bookshelf. He hadn't been climbing it for fun. He had wanted to pick out a book for me to read to him.

"Okay, that can be arranged. What story would you like to read?"

"Dwaco's book." He continued to point at the shelf.

"It's all medical books." I explained to her, unsure of what to do.

"Grab one anyway. If you've got any with illustrations, that would do best." She said, speaking to me with the same barbed sharpness as before.

I rolled my eyes at her but stood up nonetheless and retrieved one of the large manuals of wizarding injuries and disease. I sat back down in front of Teddy and opened the book up right in the middle. An illustration of the torso of the average wizard was diagramed out on the page in black and white. The names of the body parts appeared and disappeared repeatedly.

"Read." Hermione demanded.

I shot her a look for a moment before turning my eyes to the page and reading a random section, "The witch or wizard's lungs and bronchi are coated in a lining that allows the witch or wizard to withstand the inhalation of a number of fumes and smokes that they may be exposed to. Dragon smoke, for example, does not damage the average witch or wizard's lungs due to this coating. Likewise, what may otherwise be noxious fumes from potions do not harm the magic body." I continued through the overly detailed paragraph on the functioning of the specific elements of the lung. I happened to glance up as I was reading and noticed Teddy was now sitting on the floor, his head nodding now and again. Hermione gestured for me to keep going, silently assuring me that it was working.

"The trachea of witches and wizards is better equipped to handle the aspiration of liquid and food bits and is capable of expelling the invasive material. Due to a series of additional muscles, the trachea can often dislodge whatever falls down it and push it back down the esophagus. However, if there a large enough object is swallowed, the trachea cannot stop it and the witch or wizard in question will begin to choke. Unlike —"

"That's it," She whispered suddenly, cutting me off.

I looked up and saw Teddy had laid his head in Hermione's lap and his eyes had shut. We both waited a few heartbeats to see if he would wake. When he didn't, Hermione reached behind her for one of the throw pillows on our couch. She slowly moved out from under him and replaced a pillow beneath his head. He didn't seem to notice.

She moved to sit on the couch behind her and ran a hand through her hair with a sigh. I ignored this and went to put the book back in its spot on the shelf.

"I had a thought." She murmured in a hushed voice.

"Did it hurt?" I retorted. It was just far too easy to fall back into my snarky ways around this woman. Granted, it had been hard to let it go with Harry as well, and I had had just as contentious of a relationship with Hermione as I had with Harry.

She chose to ignore my sarcasm this time, "Do you really think you can take care of him all by yourself here?"

I turned to face her. Teddy slept soundly on the floor between us. "Maybe. I'm not sure."

"Perhaps it would be better if I stayed and helped."

"No."

"You're in no position to refuse help, Draco."

I wondered why she felt comfortable enough using my first name. It was really odd to hear it come out of her mouth. "I can handle it."

"Obviously not. If it hadn't been for me he would still be screaming."

I sighed and crossed my arms across my chest. "You don't know any more than I do about taking care of kids. What makes you think you'd be of any help?"

"I clearly know more than you do in some capacities. Two heads are better than one. Wouldn't it be better to be safe and have both of us here to take care of him? Think about the safety of your cousin, not about your hatred toward me."

"I don't hate you."

She laughed dryly, "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. I might have believed you yesterday, but you've been nothing but an arse since I walked in here. You haven't even talked to me since you and Harry got together and then the first time you're forced to, you're a total pain. It's lovely that you're able to change for your boyfriend, but do you think he'll be happy to hear how rude you were to me?"

"Rude to you? I may have been snippy, but I was also dealing with a screaming child." Our voices had shifted into a weird sort of whisper shouting, not unlike the hiss of a serpent. "You came storming in here in a fucking panic and I calmed you down. Forgive me for bothering. I could have left you at the door. I don't want you helping me because you're going to be trying to prove the whole while that you know more than I do, that you're better equipped to take care of him than I am. You're not even his family, I am. I should be responsible for him."

This seemed to stop her in her tracks. She looked away and shook her head. "Andromeda wouldn't care if I helped." She added quietly.

My muscles, which I had not noticed were tensing, suddenly laxed. It dawned on me that what I had said had hurt her somehow. I was epically fucking this whole thing up. She clearly had a point about Teddy. It would be stupid of me to not accept help, regardless of where help came from. There was no guarantee I would know how to handle various tasks. I had no idea how what I was doing. "Alright. Just until Harry comes home." I acquiesced. "You wouldn't happen to know how to change a diaper would you?"

She glanced at Teddy then back at me, "Draco, he's potty trained."

"Oh thank Merlin." I relaxed instantly. "That's one less problem."

She managed a smile of amusement, even a little laugh.

It caught me off guard, but I still looked up and returned the smile. When her laughter had waned I felt the need to add, "Listen, I'm sorry for being an arse. It's partly the stress of Teddy, but I think it's just also easier for me to be rude to you because of the past. If it makes you feel any better, I've been falling for Harry since I was fifteen and I didn't stop giving him shit until you showed up at the manor."

Her expression darkened immediately.

"Did I say something?" I was genuinely trying to be better now. Not entirely just to make Harry happy. I wanted his friends to like me. Ron was going to be a hard sell, but I thought I might have a chance to convince Hermione I was not still an enemy. I sat down on a chair across from her.

"No, sorry. I — I still can't think about that."

"Of what?"

"Being in Malfoy Manor."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course she didn't want to be reminded of it. The traumatic memory came to mind as well. When I recalled this memory I usually only remembered Harry. The look in his eyes when he silently pleaded with me to not reveal them. But the more terrifying aspect of that day came fresh to mind for the first time since it had happened. My aunt pinning Hermione to the floor and torturing her. I had been unable to look.

"Did you know magical scars are impossible to remove through magical means?" She chimed in after a long silence.

I stared at her curiously, "What do you mean?" She didn't respond. She simply removed the coat she had worn when she had come in and threw it over the arm of the sofa. Underneath was her Weasley sweater. She started to take it off, "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Oh, relax." She rolled her eyes as she popped the sweater off. She was wearing a plain shirt beneath it. She sighed and held out her left arm. "I've tried everything. For years I've tried to erase it, but there's no way. The dagger was enchanted somehow."

I had never seen it. I had never known. _Mudblood_.

"It's permanent?"

"Yes. Not unlike yours, I imagine."

I shook my head, "Mine is not half as degrading."

"But you still carry the shame of it, don't you?"

I frowned and nodded slowly. She sighed. There was a very long moment of silence as we sat there. We both stared at Teddy, who was still blissfully sleeping through this. She broke the silence first, "You said that was when you stopped treating Harry poorly, and yet you attacked him."

"Not really. I deliberately cast my spells silently. They were just innocent hexes. Nothing that could have harmed him. I didn't summon Voldemort when Bellatrix asked. I didn't say it was him when they asked, even though I knew immediately it was him." I explained. She had no idea the invisible things that had happened in that space.

"How could you tell it was him? I thought the spell was pretty strong when I cast it."

My lips twitched briefly, "His eyes. I spent years trying to get them to look my way. I could recognize him in any condition so long as I could see his eyes."

When she didn't respond I glanced up at her. She was smiling my way. "What?" I asked defensively. Her smile appeared condescending to me, but I wasn't sure why.

"Nothing. I just never would have expected Draco Malfoy to be sentimental, that's all."

I rolled my eyes, "You know, I'm nothing like what you think I am."

"Until today, I had assumed the best of you, actually. When Ron told me that Harry had left Ginny to be with you — I wasn't actually that surprised." She explained.

"Come again?"

She smirked, "Um, well, when Harry and I were roaming around trying to figure out how to destroy the locket and find the other horcruxes we talked a bit. It happened to come up that he was not exactly a virgin and I freaked out, assuming he had cheated on Ginny. He then admitted it was actually you he had been with, just before he started dating Ginny."

My cheeks blazed red and I buried my face in my hands. Her lilting laugh in response to this didn't help. "Merlin's beard, what did he tell you?"

"Nothing graphic, I promise. He just told me why and when it happened. And that it wasn't penetrative."

I nearly gagged, "Don't say that word!"

Teddy squirmed in his sleep and I lowered my tone again. I was going to kill Harry whenever he came home for having told Hermione. "You've known this whole time?"

"Yes. That's why it didn't catch me off guard when he left Ginny for you. It was still surprising. He had been so madly in love with her, and he hadn't talked to you in years. None of us really saw it coming, but I came to terms with it first. I figured you must have changed pretty dramatically since the war for Harry to fall for you. Like I said, until just an hour ago I had assumed the best of you. I may have been the only one who did. I had to convince Ron not to go insane. I had to talk to Ginny a lot about how it wasn't her fault and it wasn't your fault either and you couldn't be blamed."

I sighed and leaned back in the chair. My blush was slowly but surely fading as I let my hands fall to my side. "Why would you bother defending me to the Weasleys? Knowing that Harry and I had a history could not have been the only reason."

She cleared her throat but didn't speak right away. She pulled her sweater back on and sat there for a moment. I waited patiently. I could tell she was trying to collect her thoughts and organize them. "I wanted what was best for Harry. If he had decided you were what was best for him, then I was going to defend that choice. He wouldn't make that kind of decision lightly. So I concluded for myself that you must have done something to win him over."

"Most people would have assumed that I had tricked him. I am the bad guy, after all."

She shrugged, "It never really occurred to me that that may have been the case. What reason would you have had to slip him a love potion or use some other magical means to have manipulated him? After three years and no word, I figured you had forgotten him."

"I thought I had too. I never really stopped caring about him though."

She smiled but didn't say anything.

"Think you can tolerate me now?" I asked a moment or two later.

She nodded, "I'll do you one better. I can appreciate you now." I didn't know how to respond. I was flattered and a bit proud. I had managed to show her the truth and she had accepted it. My assumptions of her shifted as well. Her gaze shifted to the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. "We should probably wake him up, otherwise he won't sleep all night."

It was seven at night. "Maybe we can just let him sleep through the night as it is?"

She shook her head, "No, he'd end up waking up at four in the morning and I don't fancy being up so early." She got up and sat on the floor beside him. She gently rubbed his back, "Teddy, it's time to get up now." He stirred and rolled over, his head plopping off the pillow. He grumbled and slowly sat up, his mousey hair pointing in a million directions. He did not look unlike Harry in that moment. "Are you hungry?" Hermione asked.

He turned and looked at her curiously but didn't say anything. He turned around and blinked up at me. "Gamma?"

"Grandma brought you to spend the night with us." I explained gently. He had clearly had such a tantrum that he had forgotten most of it. "Is that okay? Do you want to stay with us?"

He slowly got to his feet and hummed to himself and waddled around the room. I glanced at Hermione and shrugged, "I guess that's a yes?"

"Safe to assume." She agreed, "Teddy, are you hungry?"

He glanced at her and nodded before continuing to wander the room. It was as if he was looking for something, though I couldn't figure out what it could possibly be.

"What would you like?" She asked the wandering child.

"Gapes."

"Anything besides grapes?"

"Arrots."

"How about a little cereal too?"

"Mmhmm." He agreed as he started looking underneath furniture.

"Keep an eye on him, I'll get his food." She said, picking up the bag and heading toward the kitchen. I watched Teddy curiously. After a moment I felt compelled to ask, "What are you looking for, buddy?"

"Ooony."

"Come again?"

He ignored me and continued for a moment before he squealed in delight and pulled the little wolf toy out from under the couch where it had rolled off. He ran over to me, holding it up above his head, "Oooony!"

"Is that his name? Oony?" I asked.

"Nuh," He said irritably and pointed up at the ceiling. "Ow jump o'er the oon!"

"Ohhh, moon? Is his name Moony?"

He nodded excitedly, waving the plush toy in my face again. "Oony!"

"Is he your favorite toy?" I asked, knowing this was all too common in young children to have a special toy. I had never had one. My friends did though. Crabbe had had a tiny bear the size of his thumb that he carried in his pocket all times. It had undoubtedly died with him.

Teddy nodded excitedly. "Oony oony oony." He held the toy to his chest, squeezing it tight. "Ha-wee gimme."

"Harry gave you Moony?"

He nodded. I was starting to get the hang of translating his gibberish.

"Oony a woof."

"Yeah, he's a wolf, isn't he? What does a wolf sound like?"

Teddy giggled and proceeded to scare the shit out of me as his face morphed into a wolf's muzzle and he howled loudly. I jumped in surprise and it seemed to amuse him. His face turned back to normal and his hair turned shockingly blue again. He laughed hysterically, even going so far as to fall onto the floor in a fit of giggles.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" I smiled. He was going to be a real trickster some day. I could only imagine what sort of chaos he was going to cause at Hogwarts.

Hermione returned with a little plate in the shape of a dragon that she put down on the table. "Were you scaring cousin Draco?" She asked with a smile. She was clearly more familiar with his tendencies than I was.

Teddy didn't seem to hear her once she put the food down for him. He bolted for the food and started devouring it eagerly.

She looked over at me and laughed, "Oh your face is priceless."

"I didn't realize metamorphmagi could do that." I explained.

"Tonks used to do it all the time just to make people smile." She said sadly.

We both watched him curiously. Bits of cereal and grapes rolled everywhere and seldom made it into his mouth. Neither of us really cared. It would be easy enough to clean up the mess later. "What is his natural hair color?" I figured if anyone would know it would be Hermione. She knew everything, after all.

"A light brown, like his parents. But his favorite color is that shade of blue, so it's blue when he's happiest. Tonks' was pink. Her hair changed with her emotions too. I don't think the appearance is directly related to their emotions, but it can have a factor in how they shift."

"Makes sense I suppose. You know, you would think that I would have encountered a metamorphmagus before at St. Mungo's, but they're so uncommon that I have yet to meet anybody like Teddy."

"They are very rare. Do you know why?" She asked.

"No, but something tells me you know and you're going to tell me."

"A thousand years ago or so, back when Hogwarts wasn't even founded yet, the first metamorphmagus appeared. It was a sort of mutation of the wizarding gene. They still possessed magic capabilities, but they were additionally able to shape shift. The wizard community was initially shocked. But eventually they were fascinated by it and began to try and replicate the shape shifting abilities. That's how the process of becoming an animagus was discovered, through the community's curiosity. A couple of generations later there were some more, but then muggle born children suddenly acquired the mutated gene. Nobody knows why it happened. A little girl was born to muggle parents and her hair changed color the same day she was born. Her parents were frightened, naturally, but kept her. She was just fine being protected by her parents until they died of illness when she was young. She did not know how to control her powers, so it wasn't long before more muggles spotted her. She was dead within a few weeks of her parents. No wizards or witches had found her in time. If they had they might have been able to hide her from the muggles."

It was a tragic story, but I found myself focusing only on the fact that the magic gene had mutated itself. It was not uncommon. Magic itself was a mutation. But I was curious about how this mutation had not grown in commonality over the generations. In all humans, for example, a blue eye color indicates a single common ancestor. Every blue eyed human alive is related. "Perhaps there just hasn't been enough time for the mutation to continue on, so it's only had an opportunity to grow in a select few families. Is there any record of them abroad?"

"A handful perhaps. Rumor has it the first metamorphmagus was from the Black family. It would explain how it passed down to Tonks and Teddy. But it's very likely that somewhere in the line one or more of the male metamorphmagi had illegitimate children abroad. It's also possible that the gene mutation popped up in other continents at the same time."

"That's fascinating." I murmured absently to myself, my mind buzzing with questions.

"I never would have took you as the kind of person to care about such things."

"Are you kidding? I love it. I never knew about magical genes and science until I started trying to become a healer and had to study up on it. It's all really mind boggling to me, and I love it." I didn't even hear the tone of excitement in my voice. It just came out.

She giggled at my eagerness, "You're sure you're Draco Malfoy?"

"Pretty confident." I assured her.

She had been correct in her assumption that it would be difficult to get Teddy to sleep after having such a late nap. We chased him about the house for hours trying to get him to at least sit still long enough to read to him. But he was too smart and knew what we were up to. Fortunately, the running all over the house managed to tucker him out. We made him a makeshift bed on the floor by the fireplace of several blankets and pillows. He reluctantly let us tuck him in and within five sentences of the herbal healing book he conked out.

"I think we should stay up awhile longer. Maybe one of us should keep watch over him while the other sleeps? I don't like the idea of leaving him alone just yet." Hermione suggested.

"Is it totally necessary?"

"Maybe, maybe not. But it's better safe than sorry. What if he has an accident or his magic kicks in and he floats to the ceiling? Better one of us is around to notice right away then waking up to his crying." She reasoned.

"Fair enough, but I'm completely exhausted. Would you mind taking the first shift then?"

She agreed and I grabbed myself a blanket and curled up on the couch with my back to her and Teddy. It had been such a long day with Harry's sudden absence, Teddy's sudden arrival, and Hermione's appearance that it took me all of five minutes to fall asleep.

I woke to the sound of laughter. I stirred and slowly came to. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The laughter continued. But it wasn't just any laughter.

"Harry?" I opened my eyes and sure enough, Harry was standing in the entrance of the living room laughing beside Ron. I looked down and saw Hermione was curled up on the floor next to Teddy. Ron was leaning against the wall with his arms folded, smiling down at her. I slowly unravelled myself from my blanket and stood. "Why are you home so soon?"

"It's six in the morning," Harry said, nodding to the clock in the corner, "We just walked in, and since when are you a light sleeper?"

"Since you started laughing too loudly." I said honestly. I really wanted to run over and hug him, but I didn't feel justified in doing this in front of Ron. I'd have to show him how grateful I was he was home later.

"So what's all this about then?" Ron asked curiously.

I sighed and looked down at them. "Well — Andromeda dropped by with Teddy. Hermione came by later."

His expression soured, "What for?"

"Actually, your patronus scared the shit out of her and she came running to see if Harry was gone too. Maybe try and sound a little less dire next time."

"Come off it, I didn't sound dire."

"Try telling her that."

As if on cue she stirred and woke up. It took her a couple of second to realize there were more people in the room. She bolted upright, "Oh my god, I fell asleep. I didn't mean to. Dr— Ron?" She sounded completely stunned.

"Morning, sunshine." He smiled, his bitterness towards me vanishing with her.

"Ron." She sprang to her feet and ran to him, hugging him close. I was infinitely jealous that she was able to do that. I wished I could have held Harry the same way. "What are you doing back so soon? I thought you'd be gone for days. I was so worried." Not that I ever had doubted it, but judging from the expression on her face it was obvious that she was completely infatuated with him.

"The problem was resolved far quicker than we expected." He explained briefly. "Why were you so worried?"

"Your message made it sound like something terrible had happened. I thought — I thought someone might have died or that you were in danger. I was worried you might never come home." She paused, "Wait, what are you doing here anyway?"

"I was just asking the same thing about you, funny enough." Ron explained with a glare in my direction.

She seemed puzzled and glanced my way, "Oh, Ron. I came because I was looking for Harry."

"Why didn't you leave when you saw he wasn't?" Ron asked, though his tone was soft.

"I — um." She stumbled, unsure of how to explain it.

"She panicked." I interjected, "I had to try and calm her down, and by the time I did she noticed Teddy was here and stayed to help me watch him. It's a good thing she did, I don't think I would have been able to manage without her."

She smiled my way and I returned the geniality.

Ron bristled at this. He looked as if he was about to say something, raise his voice, but Harry elbowed him in the side. "Let it go." I distinctly heard him murmur.

Ron looked displeased with Harry but didn't say anything for a moment. He sighed before murmuring, "Well, it was good of you to help out I suppose. I'll see you later, Harry. C'mon, we should get home." He said his last toward Hermione. He turned down the hall and Hermione waved a quick goodbye to us before following behind. They showed themselves out.

Harry turned to me and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked, not understanding what his expression could mean.

"You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Hermione was upset. Were you?"

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, holding him as close to me as I could get him. He smelled like ash and dust. It must have been an eventful night for him as well. "I'm just happy you're alright." He let me hold him as long as I needed to. I only let go long enough to kiss him. I finally forced myself to let him go. "Go on, get some rest. You've had a long night, much longer than mine."

He didn't argue for a moment. "Thank you, I love you. Wake me if you need me though."

"I know, now go." I nudged him off down the hall and watched him vanish up the stairs.


	24. Harry's Wish

That Night

Something was poking my face. Repeatedly. I groaned and rolled over, hiding my face in my pillow. I heard a little giggle and immediately knew it was Teddy. I smiled and slowly peeked out from my pillow again. I opened my eye and saw my little blue haired godson giggling at me, his finger hovering just in front of my nose. He reached out and poked my nose, screeching with laughter. I couldn't help but laugh with him. "What'd you do with your cousin, hm?" I asked him.

"Oh I was the one that told him to do it."

I rolled over and saw Draco standing in the door with a stupid grin on his face. "What time is it?" I asked, not bothering to roll over and just check on the clock.

"Just past five. He's been sleeping next to you for an hour or so."

"And you just came in, woke him up, and told him to bother me until I woke up?"

"Pretty much," He admitted.

Teddy crawled over onto me and sat on my stomach, making it rather difficult to breathe. He had his Moony toy with him and bopped me a few times on the head with it. "Are you having fun up there, Teddy?"

He just giggled and nodded in reply.

I sat up abruptly and started tickling him. We fell over onto our sides and I pulled him against me, "I got you now!" He squealed with childish delight and squirmed out of my arms and ran toward the edge of the bed. Draco jumped and ran over, but Teddy just climbed down easily.

"He wasn't going to fall, he knows how to climb." I reassured Draco as I got out of bed.

"Sorry, I just — this kid has been trying to scare me all day."

"Yeah, he does that. He likes when people are surprised." I explained as I followed Teddy. He waddled out of our room and wandered down the short hall, peeking into the bathroom. Draco and I watched curiously from the hall as he stepped in and babbled to himself. He screeched with laughter when he heard his own echo. I couldn't help but crack up myself when he started saying his own name over and over again.

"Have I missed all of his cuteness then?"

"Oh, no, he's been a right terror until he went down for a nap. Mostly just because he keeps wandering off and trying to kill himself."

I snickered, "Well, we can't be blamed. If we had known he was coming we could have child proofed."

"I just did us a favor while you two were asleep and charmed all of the furniture to stick to the walls or floor. Now he can yank all he wants on the bookshelf, it won't fall and crush him." Draco explained with a sigh just as Teddy walked back out of the bathroom. "Oh, and I put his kids toilet in there. I already cleaned it out once, so it's on you next time."

I sighed, "Fine. I'll clean it out later."

Teddy ambled over to us, "Oony? Where oony?"

"Left him on the bed, go and get him then." I said, scooting over so he could scramble in. He ran over and quickly retrieved his stuffed animal. He gripped him in his arms and ran past us toward the stairs.

"Nope, no, not happening." Draco said as he surged forward and scooped Teddy up in his arms. "You may be able to climb up them without a problem, but I'm not letting you walk down carrying Moony like that. You'll trip and fall and hurt yourself."

I smiled as I followed him down the stairs, "You don't know that. He's magical. He might have bounced. Wizard children have been known to do that."

"Well, that's not a risk I'm willing to take. Why am I the overprotective one? He's your godson, I'm just his cousin."

"I dunno, Draco, why are you so protective?"

"Because I've seen too many hurt kids, I think." He guessed as he made it to the bottom of the stairs and set Teddy down. The blue haired boy promptly ran off down the hall to play. We followed him and curled up on the couch together, keeping our eyes on him the whole time. I wrapped my arm around Draco and he leaned into me. "I'm so tired." He whined.

"Get used to it."

"I don't have to. Andromeda will pick him up tomorrow, hopefully, and then I can catch up on sleep."

It dawned on me that that hadn't been what I meant. I had unintentionally referred to an assumption that he would be a parent someday. It dawned on me that I had never bothered to ask if he even wanted children. He was doing well with Teddy so far though, especially given his protectiveness of him. But I had to know whether or not this was something he wanted from his own life. "I, um, actually meant that you might have kids of your own someday so you might as well get used to not sleeping."

I felt him tense a bit beside me. He cleared his throat. "D-do you want kids, Harry?"

I smiled as I watched Teddy build a block tower as he gurgled to Moony, "Yeah. Yeah, I do. I love them. Even when they're messy and gross, they still astound me. They're still beautiful even when they're a right pain. When I met Teddy for the first time I couldn't stand to see him at first. It hurt too much to know that he was an orphan like I was. But Andromeda made me hold him and I couldn't let go for hours. I cried and held him as close as I could. It broke my heart to know the love I felt for him was the same love my parents felt when they had me. It become so much more obvious why someone would die for their child. I would die for him in a heartbeat." I realized that I had been going on and on. I blushed and was grateful he couldn't see it, "I'm sorry. I'm talking too much. Do you want kids?"

He didn't say anything for a moment and I filled in the silence, "Just because I want them doesn't mean you have to. I would rather you be honest with me than avoid hurting my feelings."

He rested his hand on my knee, sighing, "For a long time I thought I didn't want children. I didn't want my kids to carrying the burdens that I did, to have my reputation on their shoulders. But perhaps that won't be the case. I don't know. Taking care of Teddy has been exhausting, but it has been incredibly fun too. I suppose I wouldn't mind having my own. Why do you ask?"

"Uh — no reason."

He sat up straight and turned to look at me, "You so sure about that?"

My heart sped up a bit. I knew what I wanted to say, what I wanted to ask, but I was terrified of the pandora's box it might open.

He caught me off guard and kissed me. My heart steadied slightly. We kissed all the time, but we didn't often get to share such intimate exchanges all that often. Usually, these sort of kisses were just a form of foreplay. This time was different. It was so gentle, so tender. It didn't last long enough. He pulled back and ran a hand through my hair, making it even messier. "If you were wondering if I saw us having a future together, the answer is yes."

"You're sure? We haven't been together that long." I asked. A part of me didn't want to believe what he was saying was true.

He shrugged, "I'm not saying I know for certain what will happen between us. I just know that I'm happy with you and I'd like to continue to be happy with you."

It was a relief to hear him voicing the very thoughts I had been thinking lately. I was mad for him. I wasn't sure whether or not the happy ending I'd always wanted was going to be with him, but I certainly hoped it would be. I went to kiss him again but was interrupted by the sound of Teddy screeching. I turned and looked back toward him, but he was simply yelling before knocking his tower of blocks over. They came clattering down and he laughed with delight. I turned back to Draco for a moment, "Just to be clear, I love you. It makes me ridiculously happy that you've said that and I seriously want to do nothing but kiss you right now but something tells me that this wonderful child is going to continue to interrupt us."

"I'll check back with you later then, shall I?"

"Absolutely, you are so getting some when he's gone."

"I'm counting on it." He smirked before standing and moving over to Teddy. "What are you going to build now, Teddy?"

"I dunno."

I watched as Draco absently brushed Teddy's hair aside. For all his reported reluctance of being a parent, he already looked like he would be a great one.

His expression suddenly soured, "Oh, goodness. Teddy, how would you feel about a bath? I hate to say it, but you reek."

I stood and scooped Teddy up in my arms, "Come on stinky. You coming, Draco?"

Sure enough he followed us upstairs. I plopped Teddy down on the tiled floor of the bathroom upstairs as Draco ran the water in the bathtub. Luckily, Teddy always loved bath time and didn't need much bribing to change out of his clothes. Draco slipped a bit of the bubble liquid from Christmas into the tub for him. Teddy stood at the edge of the tub and stared down at the water and watched it slowly fill the tub and the bubbles growing with it. His high pitched laughter practically peeled the paint of the walls.

"It's not too hot is it?" I asked as I picked Teddy and went to put him in the water.

"Of course not, I wouldn't want to burn my cousin, would I?"

"I'm just asking," I remarked as I carefully put him down in the tub. He immediately lost his mind and started flailing every which way.

"Bubs! Bubs!" He shouted over and over again as he tried to pop every miniscule bubble. We couldn't help but laugh at his antics. Draco tried to lean over the bubbles to grab the shampoo resting on the opposite side of the tub, but was immediately splashed at by Teddy. His entire front was soaked wet. I thought he might be mad, but he simply shook his head and put some of the shampoo on Teddy's head, "It's your bath time, not mine." He reminded him as he sudsed up his hair. Teddy just laughed, "Bah time Dwaco!" He kept splashing water at Draco, and the water began to spill over onto the floor.

"Teddy, be nice to your cousin," I said. "Unless you want me to dump cold water on your head."

Teddy's eyes widened at my mild threat. But he still smiled and threw his hands in the water, making it splash out at me this time. Draco turned and looked over to see my pants now soaked with water. He snickered, "Well, he got you there."

I smirked and cast a withering look toward my godson. He knew he was in trouble now. I reached into the cabinet below the sink, fishing around. Teddy started laugh shouting, "Dwaco, help!"

"Oh, no, you had it coming. You have to accept the consequence," Draco said trying not to laugh.

I grabbed a large plastic cup from under the sink and filled it with cold water. I could have been cruel and made it as cold as ice, but I didn't want to actually shock his system. Teddy pretended like he was scared of it but he stood up in the tub and laughed.

"Three, two," Before I could even get to one I reached out and dumped the cup of cold water over Teddy's head.

He wailed and clapped his hands in delight and surprise. He always got such a kick out of this, even if he pretended that he hated it. Draco laughed along with him. He ended up laughing so hard that he lost his balance crouching by the tub and fell on his rear, further soaking his clothes in soapy water. "Teddy did you make the room a mess?" I asked.

He responded with a simple squeal of delight and deliberately splashed more water out of the tub and onto the floor. "I don't need a bath, Teddy." Draco giggled.

"Dwaco need baf!" He laughed.

"Okay, no more. You're going to flood the house if you keep it up." I reached down into the tub and pulled the plug out, tossing the plug into the sink do Teddy couldn't try to plug it back up. Teddy's cheery disposition quickly changed. His hair darkened into a maroon like shade and he stared down at the draining water and whined in gibberish. Draco stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed some towels from the linen closet in the hall. He threw several down on the floor of the bathroom and tossed another to me. He still stood in the hall and waved his wand over his clothes and silently removed the water from the fabric with ease.

I scooped Teddy out of the tub and put him down on the pile of towels. I wrapped the towel in my hands around his small body. He pouted the whole while, refusing to talk to me. "Bath time has to end eventually, Teddy, I'm sorry."

He just continued to frown at me as I dried him off. "How about we get you in your pyjamas and we get you some warm milk? How's that sound?"

His hair shifted from his brooding maroon to his natural brown. He smiled just the slightest bit and nodded.

"Alright, well, let's get you downstairs then." I wrapped him completely in the towel, tucked it in just under his arm, and scooped him up. I threw him over my shoulder and his laughter filled the room again. Draco had disappeared from the hall, but when we came downstairs I found that he was in the kitchen, warming milk on the stove top.

"Not too warm."

"I know Potter."

I smirked to myself as I brought Teddy into the living room. I set him down and went to reach into his bag on the floor. The minute I turned my back he stripped off his towel and started running around in the nude. I snickered to myself but did nothing. Like most young children, he loved running about naked. I retrieved his pink footie pyjamas from his bag and called him over. He relented and came over and put them on all by himself. "Look at you, you're getting to be a big grown boy every day." I said as I sat on the couch. "I'm so proud of you."

He beamed with pride, his hair turning turquoise again as he climbed up into my lap. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin on the top of his head. He smelled wonderful. Draco returned and sat beside me, handing the little plastic sippy cup of warm milk to Teddy.

"What do we say, Teddy?" I reminded him.

"Dank you," He managed to say before he leaned back into my chest and drank his toddler cares away.

Draco ran his hands through Teddy's soaking wet hair, pushing it out of his face. "Do you want to read a story?" He asked kindly.

Teddy nodded, not letting go of his cup.

"Let's see what grandma packed for you. I don't fancy reading more medical books."

"You read him medical books last night?"

"In my defense, it did put him to sleep." He grabbed the bag from the floor and dug around in its depths before pulling out a small kids book of fairy tales. Andromeda, having had a Muggle born husband, wanted Teddy to know both Muggle and wizarding tales. I knew this from my early days of watching Teddy, but this came as a surprise to Draco. "What in the name of Merlin is Red Riding Hood?"

"A Muggle tale. Go ahead, he loves this one." I suggested, relaxing into the sofa with Teddy in my arms.

"You want me to read?" He asked curiously.

"My arms are full."

"Fair enough." He flipped the hard cover open and started to read out loud. "Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived with her mom in a cottage in the woods." I had not expected him to be so good at reading to him. His voice was melodic and gentle as he read, and his character voices were effortlessly good. I wasn't sure when I began nodding off, but the next thing I knew he was shaking me awake. "Harry, wake up. C'mon, let's get you to bed."

I stirred and looked down. Teddy was curled up asleep in my arms, his bottle having fallen to the floor. I smiled, "I'm sorry. You're voice was so soothing it put me to sleep."

"I noticed. Let's bring him upstairs. He might as well sleep in the middle of the bed with us. I don't think sleeping on the floor last night did him any good, I know it certainly didn't for me."

I nodded and slowly got to my feet, shifting him so he rested on my hip, his head tucked against my shoulder. He was a dead weight when he slept, but I managed to carry him up the stairs with Draco. He threw the blankets back for me and I gently put Teddy down in the middle, giving him one of our little throw pillows to rest his head on between our respective pillows. Neither of us had changed out of our pyjamas, so we both climbed into bed on either side of Teddy. I pulled the blanket over us and put my glasses away on the nightstand. We both laid on our sides, facing Teddy. I wrapped an arm over his small body and Draco did the same.

"Harry?" Draco whispered.

"Hm?"

"You're going to make an amazing dad someday."

"So are you."

"I love you."

"I lo-" I was cut off by a strong yawn, "I love you too."


	25. Draco's Valentine

February 2002

I sat in bed with the light turned on beside me. It was nearly time for bed. But I had to finish reading Pride and Prejudice. I was on the verge of tears as I approached the end. I had rooted so much for Darcy. I saw so much of myself in him. The happy ending was slowly piecing itself together and I was completely enraptured with it. Which is why when I felt the bed shift I actually jumped and screeched a bit. Harry laughed at this immensely, "God, you're just like Hermione. You two never notice the world around you when you've got your noses in a book."

"Oh, shut up. I am not like that."

"You just screamed because I sat down."

I huffed, "Well, it's really good, okay?"

"Draco, were you crying?"

"No. But I was probably going to if you hadn't interrupted me."

"Were you seriously about to cry over a book?"

"Harry Potter, you clearly have never read a truly meaningful and well written book in your life. If you had, you would know that the best books make you want to weep for ages." He smirked as he crawled under the covers. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to finish my damn book."

He just snickered and flipped open his copy of the Daily Prophet from that day. I finished up the last few pages and couldn't help letting a single tear fall past my smile. I shut the book and held it to my chest. It was a new favorite, without a doubt. I desperately wanted to gush about this book to someone who had read it. I had a sneaking suspicion that Hermione may have been familiar with it and decided to ask her about it the next time we saw each other.

"Are you quite finished?" Harry asked from behind his newspaper.

"Yes, there's no need to be salty about it," I said bitterly as I put the book down on my nightstand. "Now, what is it you'd like to tell me? I can tell you're itching to get it out."

He instantly folded his paper, tossed it on the floor, and turned to me, "So it's February now, and Valentine's is coming up."

"Ah, right."

"So I was thinking we should make plans."

"I don't know, I don't want to make a big deal out of it. It's a silly holiday, really."

"I know, but that's the thing. What I have in mind isn't exactly — traditional."

I frowned, knowing he was up to something, "What is it?"

He looked a bit apprehensive as he spoke, "I want to go on a double date."

I tilted my head, knowing just what was coming, "With who?"

"Ron and Hermione."

"No."

"C'mon, why not?"

"Because Ron hates me and I don't like to be in the company of people who detest me. So forgive me if I'm not excited at the prospect."

"He doesn't hate you. He just hasn't gotten to really know you. And he was nice over the holidays with his family, wasn't he?"

I shrugged, but eventually nodded in agreement. Ron had been pretty decent, aside from a few brash statements. But it was obvious from when he had left with Hermione not long ago that he still held some animosity toward me. "Have they agreed to it?"

"Yes," He said, glancing at the wall for a second.

"You're lying."

"Not technically."

"Tell the whole truth, Harry. You're withholding something. You are a terrible liar."

He sighed and admitted defeat, "Hermione agreed right away but it took Ron some convincing. But he did eventually agree to it. So, like I said, it's technically true."

I groaned, "You see? He doesn't want truthfully want to go along with it."

"Draco, you're the only one saying no at this point. Please? I just want you to get along with them, and I want Ron to warm up to you already. This is probably the best chance to do that," He explained sincerely.

I sighed. Harry looked so concerned, so genuine. He really wanted nothing more than for his friends to love me and vice versa. I didn't know if it was entirely possible for that to happen, but I knew I would be remiss if I didn't at least try. "Alright. We can go on a double date with them on Valentine's Day, under one condition."

"Anything."

"I get to pick wear we go."

"Deal."

"I don't even have a suit." Harry said irritably when I told him on the fourteenth that I had made reservations for us at a swanky restaurant in town. It was the kind of place where Harry's usual hoodie-shirt combination would get him laughed out, especially given that it was a muggle location where his fame was meaningless.

"I know you don't. I bought you one," I said simply as we stood in the bedroom, changing out of our work clothes.

"You what?"

"Bought you a suit."

"You don't even know my measurements."

"You'd be surprised how easy it is to measure you when you're asleep."

"You're insane."

"No, I plan ahead."

"Well can I at least see it?"

"You can certainly put it on." I moved toward our closet and pulled out the heavy hanger with the suit fully assembled upon it and covered in a plastic sheet. He took it from me and looked it through the plastic with a sigh. I grabbed a small box from the bottom of the closet and handed it over as well, "Shoes to match. Go on. Change," I insisted. He shook his head in disbelief but slipped the plastic off and began to put each individual piece on. As he did I changed into my own crisp full black suit. The tie I threw on with it, however, was emerald. I turned to face Harry just as he slipped into his jacket. He sighed and turned to face me. His expression was one of simple hesitation. "Does it look okay? I haven't had to wear anything this nice since Bill and Fleur's wedding. And even that wasn't so tailored."

I cleared my throat and tried to compose myself. The measurements were spot on. It hugged his body without being oppressively tight. His suit was decidedly lighter than mine, a soft shade of gray with a white shirt and red tie. My instinctive response had been a deep desire to tear it right off of him and throw him into bed. But we had plans and I had to resist.

"Are you alright? You look somewhat ill," He asked, his concern showing.

"If you want me to be perfectly honest, I'm trying to squash the urge to fuck you until you can't move, that's how good you look."

His cheeks flushed brilliantly, "Y-you're just saying that."

"Uh, no, I'm actually trying my best to avoid a noticeable hard on."

He couldn't help but glance down and smirk. My efforts were clearly not working very well.

"I would help you out with a quickie, but we literally need to be there in thirty minutes and we have to walk. So let me just help get rid of it another way." His lips curved up maliciously, "Snape. Naked."

I practically gagged, "What the hell, Harry?!"

"Worked though didn't it?"

"Well yeah because it traumatized me."

He just laughed, "Come on, let's go."

I shook my head to clear the horrific image from my mind. We threw on our coats and scarves before heading out into the cold evening. He happened to know where it was, given its relative closeness to the guest entrance of the Ministry. We walked side by side down the street, murmuring here and there about nothing in particular, namely work coming and goings. When we were about halfway there, he reached out and took my hand in his. There was nothing unique to this. It was something we did pretty frequently. What I had not known, however, was that the muggle world has more than a few differences from the wizarding world.

I didn't notice it at first, or at least I didn't connect it all together. A stranger would bump pretty aggressively into one of us as we walked by. _London is a busy city_ , I would reason to myself, _they're just in a hurry_. Some of these people would mutter something as they walked by, but I couldn't understand it. I noticed that after the fourth time this happened in our walk, Harry tensed and held my hand as tight as he could.

"Harry, you're going to break my hand," I murmured gently. "What's wrong?"

"You don't notice this?"

"What? People bumping into us? It's Valentine's day, everyone's busy getting to where they need to go and going to their loved ones." It made logical sense, but I knew it couldn't be totally true. As I finished my thought, we happened to be walking in front of a man standing outside of an apartment building. He spat at my shoes and shouted, "Fuckin' faggots, why don't ya go jump off the bridge, eh?" The word that was clearly meant to be an insult was one that the others that had bumped into us had said as well, but I had no idea what it meant. Harry let go of my hand. I could practically feel his rage radiating from his body. He turned around to face the man. He looked angrier than I had ever seen him, and that's saying something considering I had once been the one to provoke him on a daily basis.

"What the _fuck_ did you just say?" Harry roared.

"No, no, no, no," I turned to face Harry, making myself a wall between him and the stranger. "Let's go, let's just go."

The man behind me just laughed at us, "As if a lil queen like you could 'urt me."

"Harry, be reasonable, it won't do us any good."

"How fucking dare you?" Harry spat at the man, ignoring my efforts completely.

"Go on, princess, go home like yer boyfriend said." The man taunted.

Harry finally looked at me. His eyes were darker than normal, clouded with rage. He was silently pleading with me to step aside. I slowly shook my head. I knew perfectly well that this stranger was of no consequence and Harry could probably easily beat him into a bloody pulp. But I didn't want to mar this night with violence. "He's not worth it." I murmured softly. Harry turned his gaze back to the aggressor.

"You count yourself lucky that I have enough restraint," He snarled.

"Oh, yeah, I'm real scared of some fuckin' fairy." The man laughed as he shook his head and headed up the stairs of the apartment complex. I put my hand on Harry's shoulder and forced him to turn away from the man. He sighed irritably. "We're going to be late," I reminded him. He seemed to snap out of it. He took my hand again and we carried on. A few minutes of silenced passed before I felt entirely justified in asking, "Care to explain what that was all about?"

Harry glanced my way and I saw he had indeed calmed down dramatically. He let out a deep breath, "Remember when you first called Hermione a mudblood in front of us?"

My face burned with shame, "Yes, what's your point?"

"Remember how furious Ron got? How angry all of us were later when we realized how deep of an insult it was?"

The whole thought of it was making me dreadfully uncomfortable. I hated being reminded of the person I was. But I nodded nonetheless.

"'Faggot' is a muggle insult for gay men." Harry explained tersely.

"I — I don't understand." I could not wrap my brain around the idea that there were such insults for men who loved other men.

"In the wizarding world, being gay is kind of unimportant. Nobody really cares one way or another. Here in the muggle world, it's seen as a terrible thing. Plenty of people would love for us to die because of it."

" _What_?"

"Is it really so shocking to believe?" He asked, "Hatred is not unique to wizards or muggles. Hatred is a human trait. One that manifests in different ways in different places. It might be safe to be who we are in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, but here in London, in the muggle world, we are less safe. Men have been killed and beaten for it. Do you remember a few years back when there was a bombing in the city?"

"Vaguely. I didn't pay any attention to it, though. I assumed it was another wizard mishap that was made out to be a human error for the sake of the muggles."

"It wasn't. It was a deliberate attack. The pub was a known for attracting a number of gay men, a sort of safe space for them. But no space is totally safe for men like us. Three died. Seventy more were hurt."

I felt nauseous. I felt petrified. It was not unlike a number of horrific attacks the Death Eaters had perpetrated. My father had tortured muggles here and there, to which he had admitted to long ago, but as far as I know he was not one of the many Death Eaters to kill other wizards. But did it really matter? It was hatred nonetheless. My family had been deeply entrenched in hatred. My aunt had killed many families based on a hatred of impure blood and blood traitors. Once I had thought I held the same beliefs, but I only held onto the beliefs that had pushed onto me in my childhood. By now, I had learned to see the truth of the matter. There was no reason to hate people like Hermione simply because she happened to be a muggle whose genes mutated to allow for magic. It was simply idiotic.

"Draco, are you alright?" Harry asked, glancing my way.

I shook my head and stopped walking, letting go of his hand. He turned to face me, resting a hand on my jaw. I felt completely hollowed, gutted. In my mind's eye I saw the many half blood and muggle born wizards dying beside men and women like me. All dying senselessly for something that they could not help to be. I had never given it much thought, but I knew that I couldn't like women if I wanted to. Many times in school I thought it would be easier to just like women. I'd kissed Pansy Parkinson once and it was horrendous. After that she had not left me alone for the rest of the time we were in school, suggesting disgusting activities we could pursue together. It was nothing I could control, no more than I could control the family I came from and my pure blood status.

I was unable to talk through these thoughts. I just stood there, staring into space. Harry's arms wrapped around me. It occurred to me that this was somewhat dangerous. If we were already being insulted for holding hands, I could only imagine how much more dangerous it was for us to hug or, Merlin forbid, kiss.

"It's not safe," My voice trembled as I spoke. I did not wrap my arms around him, even though I desperately needed his physical comfort.

"The whole block could attack us and we'd still be fine. We're two wizards, we can take them all down and obliviate later. I am not going to let their foolish hatred stop me from loving you." He assured me.

I broke down and held him tight in my arms. He was right. Of course he was right. We had nothing to fear. We were lucky. We stayed like this for a few moments. I finally pulled back and kissed his cheek, "I love you." I felt the bravery growing within me. We were safe. We were strong together. There was nothing they could do to us.

"I love you too," He murmured, taking my hand in his again. We had forgotten our gloves at home and both of our hands were like ice now.

"Harry, what time is it?" I asked as we started back down the street.

Harry checked his left wrist where his old watch he'd had most of his life was resting, "Um, well, it's … late."

"Tell me."

"7:15pm."

"Goddammit, our reservation was for seven." I said with a groan.

"If Hermione and Ron are already there we'll be fine."

"I don't trust Ron to be prompt."

"You can trust Hermione to make sure they were both on time," He reminded me.

Sure enough, when we did finally make it to our destination, they informed us that our guests were waiting for us. We left our coats and scarves at the coat check before hurrying to our table. Hermione immediately stood when she saw us coming, and she nudged Ron to do the same.

"Hey, I'm so sorry," Harry immediately said as we approached.

"Is everything alright?" Hermione asked, her concern evident on her expression.

"Um, yeah, for the most part. It's — it's not a big deal, why don't we sit and order, we've made you wait long enough."

We all sat down and Ron felt the need to add, "You're bloody right we've waited long enough, I'm starving."

"When are you not starving?" Harry smiled, not at all bothered by Ron's comment.

"Never," Hermione smirked.

Food was ordered, as were drinks, with only a minor mishap on Ron's part. He attempted to order a firewhiskey and got an odd look from the server, who managed to put two and two together and brought him a fireball. When the meals arrived, Ron couldn't help but comment on the smaller portion sizes, "You would think with how much they're charging they could at least serve a proper amount of food."

"That's not really how it works, Ronald," Hermione murmured shyly. She seemed slightly embarrassed by Ron's lack of manners, and I couldn't say I blamed her.

"Why did we come here again anyway?" He asked, tugging at the tie around his neck. He actually didn't look too bad when he cleaned up a bit. He was clean shaved and had somehow managed to find a well-ironed shirt shirt, though he had skipped out on a jacket.

"I chose it," I said simply. I had assumed Harry had told them as much, but when I looked his way he avoided my eyes. He clearly had neglected this bit of information.

"Why? Just to prove how rich and stuck up you are?" Ron sneered.

It didn't take me by surprise, necessarily, but it did hurt my feelings a bit.

"You know, I think I want something else to drink and you're nearly done with your whiskey," Harry said quickly, "Let's head over to the bar, mate."

Ron didn't seem to think anything of it and followed Harry across the room to the fully equipped, glamorous bar.

I sighed and set my elbows on the table, rubbing at my temples.

"I'm sorry about him," Hermione said.

"It's not your fault."

"I tried to tell him how sweet you were with Teddy, how you redeemed yourself. But I don't think he was listening. He's very set in his ways."

"So was I, and yet the former Death Eater was faster to change than the good guy." I couldn't help but be sour. I had actually chosen this particular place because I thought it would provide an opportunity for formality, civility. But I recognized now that he saw this as showing off. Our arriving late probably didn't help my image in his eyes as a snob.

Hermione sighed softly, glancing over toward them at the bar, "If it makes you feel any better, I think Harry's giving him a piece of his mind. I wouldn't look if I were you though. Ron keeps glaring at the back of your head."

"That explains why it feels like my hair's caught fire."

She snorted with laughter.

"A beautiful laugh you've got there, Granger."

"Oh shush, I hate when I laugh like that." She blushed slightly.

I finally realized she had dolled herself up quite a bit for the occasion. Her hair was wavy instead of curly and thrown over one shoulder. "You look really beautiful tonight, Hermione."

She beamed, "Thank you. You're rather dashing yourself. Although, my expectation was pretty high anyway. You always dress nicely."

"How do you think I snagged Harry? Impeccable wardrobe."

"I'm guessing it just drives you mad that he only own five shirts," She smirked.

"Three, actually. And yes, I hate it."

Unbeknownst to either of us, Ron was tensing and becoming jealous at the bar, as Harry would tell me much later. He had seen Hermione and I laughing and smiling and became instantly jealous. I could hear Harry's laugh through the crowd but thought nothing of it at the time. In actuality, he had been assuring Ron that I was as gay as they came and he had nothing to worry about.

"Can I ask you something?" I queried.

"Sure, why not?" She leaned back with her glass of pinot grigio, taking a sip.

"Have you read Pride and Prejudice?"

Her eyes widened and she grinned, forgetting her wine and setting it aside. "Of course I have. You don't mean to say you have too?"

"I just finished it last week."

"And?"

"I won't lie, it's become one of my favorite books now."

"Good, that's the proper response."

I lowered my voice and glanced away, "The ending also — kind of — made me cry."

She giggled, "Oh, I can see it now. I've never met another man who's read that book and enjoyed it. I tried to talk Ron into it, but he couldn't finish the first chapter. He hated it."

"I'm sure it's only because men are told to not like romances. It's not manly enough, isn't that what they all say?"

"Pretty much. So when did you start embracing things that are less than masculine?"

I shrugged, "Recently. I only read it because I've been trying to read 'classic' muggle books. I just wanted to make sure I was as smart as any muggle, smarter given my knowledge of magic and healing. It started before Harry came back into my life, but it's just continued since. I didn't realize Pride and Prejudice was a 'girl' book until I got it. And at that point I didn't really care. It's all silly anyway. I'm gay as hell, who cares if I read romances?"

"I like it. So, what did you think of the Bennet sisters then?"

"I cannot stand Lydia."

"Honestly, nobody can," She rolled her eyes as she took another drink of the wine.

"But you know who I really feel bad for?"

"Jane?" She guessed.

"Mary."

"Oh, the poor girl. She doesn't have any significance. I don't know why Austen bothered to keep her in the story. It's just sad."

"Exactly. I thought the same thing."

Just as we were about to get really in depth on the Bennet family, Harry and Ron rejoined us and we cut our conversation short.

"No, don't mind us, what were you two getting all excited about?" Harry asked, sitting down with a different drink than he had originally ordered. He had switched from an actual drink to a plain beer. I was not very surprised.

"Oh," Hermione smirked, "Pride and Prejudice."

"Let me guess, he didn't tell you he cried over the ending?"

Ron cracked up with a laugh and I noticed he had a refilled glass. He was going to be drunk for most of the night, that much was certain. "Malfoy, crying over that silly book? I don't believe it for a minute."

"Oh, it's true," I confessed proudly. "Harry thought I was crazy too."

"Can't say I blame him." He turned his attention back to his friend, "How is it we both ended up with bookworms?"

Harry shrugged, "I have no idea. But mine wasn't a bookworm when I got him."

"Technically, I was."

"How do you figure?"

"You didn't 'get me' until after I had started up a collection."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Oh, right. If you're going to be _technical_ about it. But I've known you most of your life and the book thing's only recent."

I shrugged and absentmindedly drank my gin and tonic.

"Funny world isn't it? Just a decade ago and you two were at each other's throats."

"You're still at my throat, so I guess not everything changes." I could say it was the alcohol that made me bold, but that would be a lie.

Harry and Hermione exchanged looks with each other before turning their attention to me and Ron. The tension was palpable.

Ron locked eyes with me and took another drink of his whiskey. He frowned but didn't speak, so I took my opportunity again. "I've got nothing against you, mate. I love your family, I understand now my prejudice was unfounded. And I love your friends." I smiled toward Harry and Hermione before turning my attention back to him, "And yet, I can't seem to win you over."

Ron sighed and put his glass down, "Unfounded prejudice, you say."

"I had no right making assumptions about you or your family. I apologize for the rash things I've said to you in our youth," I clarified.

He mulled this over, taking a couple bites of food. Nobody else could. Everyone else at our table waited patiently. My heart was pounding with anxiety.

Ron put down his fork and knife and finally settled on what to say, "How can I believe you actually love him? That you're not just tricking him? He's one of the top aurors. How do I know you're not up to something?"

I glanced at Hermione, wondering why she hadn't told him sooner. Perhaps she had not felt it her place. Harry and Hermione likely both assumed it best he didn't know. "I've been in love with Harry since fifth year. We had … relations in school. It never had anything to do with the war brewing. If you'd like, you can ask my father. I told him I was in love with Harry in the middle of the war, and I'm pretty sure he half considered killing me, or in the very least, torturing me."

"Bullshit," Ron said immediately.

"No, really," Harry chimed in, "His dad is ruddy git about us being together. I wouldn't put it past him to hurt his own son over it."

He mulled this over, never breaking eye contact with me. If he was trying to intimidate me with this, it certainly wasn't going to work. I sat straight as a pin in my seat, keeping the prolonged eye contact with ease. A staring match I could handle with ease. He finally broke and looked away with a long sigh, running his hand through his ginger hair. "I reckon if you had the balls to tell your father in the midst of a war against Harry, you're probably not out to get him."

I nodded, slightly relieved. It wasn't total acceptance yet, but at least he was realizing I wasn't plotting against Harry at all. It was an absurd notion and I desperately wanted to tell him so, but I held my tongue for once in my life.

"Ron, do you think you can try and get along with Draco now?" Hermione asked gently.

He glanced back at me and looked away with a shrug, "I s'pose. I'm not about to go and read silly girl books with him though."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I added with a polite smile. It was a step in the right direction, and that was all I needed in that moment. Harry diverted the topic to something less contentious (work) and pretty quickly the tension dissipated. Ron acted genial enough the rest of the meal, and even managed to laugh at a bad joke I made — although I attributed that more to the fact that he was inebriated than me actually being funny. The night wound down and we eventually found ourselves parting ways. We stood just outside the restaurant, all bundled in our coats again, getting our goodbyes out.

"See you at work tomorrow, mate." Harry and Ron said simultaneously, taking a moment to laugh at each other for it.

"It was nice seeing you again, Draco." Hermione said, leaning against Ron. She had drank her wine a bit fast and was a little wobbly on her feet.

"You as well, Hermione." I acknowledged before glancing at Ron, "You keep an eye on her okay, she'll slip and break an ankle in those heels."

He smiled, "Don't worry, I couldn't take my eyes off her if I wanted to."

Hermione blushed and smiled up at him. The two of them were making eyes at each other and Harry and I took the opportunity to quietly leave them be.

"Well," I said as we walked home, "They're bound to have fun tonight."

Harry cringed, "Don't remind me. They're my best friends. I don't want that image in my head right now, thank you very much."

"Hey, you made me think of Snape naked. That is so much worse."

He laughed, "Oh I did, didn't I? Yeah, that is worse. Fair enough, you win that round."

I meant to respond, and I honestly thought I had, but I was apparently far too focused on trying to put one foot in front of the other.

"Hon, are you alright?" He asked, taking my hand in his. The slightest shifting of my arm made me lose what little balance I had and I tripped over my feet. He stopped me from falling face first into the concrete. He snickered, "You're way drunker than I am. You poor thing."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so drunk. I didn't mean to be."

"Well what did you expect? You had two gin and tonics and they were both pretty strong. I can still smell it on you."

"I'm sorry." I whined pitifully all the way home. We stumbled in through the front door and I leaned against the wall. Harry took my coat off for me and went to hang them in the closet. "I'm sorry." I mumbled again.

"You know, I heard you the first time." He said with a little smile.

"No, I'm sorry I'm drunk because we can't have sex."

"Who said anything about not having sex? I'm still gonna fuck you." He assured me as if he was just agreeing to make breakfast in the morning.

"But sloppy drunk sex isn't as fun."

"Oh I don't believe that for a minute." He moved close to me. His hand closed around my wrist and he pulled me close to him.

"I'm gonna taste like gin." I apologized again.

"Do me a favor?"

"Hm?"

"Just shut up and go with it." He smiled before kissing me hard. I didn't have to be told twice. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, partially just to keep myself balanced. He pressed me up against the wall abruptly, and even in my drunken state I immediately was turned on by this simple action. Between heavy kisses he murmured, "I've been wanting to get you out of this suit all night." Sure enough, he made it so.

Each item came off one by one from my body, until I was laid bare in front of him, my trousers and boxers bunched around my ankles. He dropped to his knees, much to my surprise. I expected him to go down on me right away, but he seemed to think it best to tease me instead. His lips grazed down my navel and kissed across my hip bones. One of his hands caressed my inner thigh and the other slowly took hold of my length at the base. I ran a hand into his hair, as if on instinct. He glanced up at me and smiled. I brushed his hair out of his face for him and returned the playful smirk. He kept his gaze as he slowly dragged his tongue across the head of my cock. All the blood flowed south and I quickly grew hard in his hand. He smirked to himself, "Oh, hello." He kissed the tip and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Why do you have to be such a tease?" I whined.

"Why do you have to be so whiny tonight?" He countered goodnaturedly, his hand slowly massaging along the shaft.

I didn't totally hear his retort, as he had said it at the same time he pleasured me. I only blinked and responded, "Why are you still dressed."

"I was a little preoccupied with wanting to go down on you to care."

"Fair enough,"

"Did you already forget what I said earlier?" He asked as his thumb ran along the slit.

"Uh — probably," I admitted shyly.

"Shut. Up." He looked away just long enough to pull my cock into his mouth.

I tipped my head back, leaning it against the wall as I panted. Apparently, unlike when we had sex when I was sober, I was much louder when intoxicated. My moans echoed off the walls and I vaguely wondered if muggles walking by could hear me. He had only gone down on me a few times in the past, both times he had been slightly hesitant. Whenever he had to do anything new he got anxious. But he was hardly anxious now. It also apparently meant that I didn't last nearly as long as I may have otherwise. I warned him I was close and he slipped his lips off of me, replacing them with his hand. A few seconds later and I climaxed, spilling out onto his hand. I caught my breath as I glanced down at him. "Fuck, it got on your sleeve."

He just laughed as he slowly let go of me, "I really don't care. You do realize we can just _scourgify_ it right?"

"Oh, right." I said stupidly as he stood in front of me again, using that exact spell on his hand quickly. I wriggled out of my pants and kicked off my shoes. "Your turn," I said simply before grabbing at his tie and pulling him against me. Our kisses became so aggressive that we unintentionally stumbled into the kitchen a few feet from us. I pressed him up against the fridge, some of the magnets clattering to the floor beneath us. I could only imagine the cool exterior felt good on his warm skin. I only bothered to loosen his tie and remove his jacket before slipping to my knees. I struggled with his belt. He ended up having to take it off for me. His pants, on the other hand, were easy enough to manage. I was not nearly as well thought out as Harry, despite the fact that I had done this way more times than he had. My inebriation was not helping anything. I did not bother with foreplay, although I did make a point to drag my tongue down him many times before taking him in my mouth. I was greedy, desperate to hear, feel, taste his climax. More than once he had to remind me to take it easy. In my defense, I had warned him the sex would be sloppy, but he ultimately didn't seem to mind.

As I sucked away at him, I gripped onto his thighs for balance and I could feel his muscles tensing as he approached his own orgasm. I did as he had done for me and looked straight up into his eyes. Unlike the darkness from earlier that day, they were bright and alive. It was the eye contact that did him in. He warned me, but I didn't move away. I didn't mind as he came in my mouth. I slowly eased off as he finished and swallowed every last drop, licking my lips with a sly smile as I looked up at him again.

He raised an eyebrow, "Sometimes I really think you couldn't be any more attractive. And then you go and do shit like that."

I stood and pecked his cheek, "Yeah, I know. I try. C'mon, we should go to bed. We both have work in the morning."

He sighed as we walked up the stairs together. He was half naked from the waist down while I was completely nude, neither of us cared. We crawled into bed. The minute our arms were around each other we were asleep.


	26. Harry's Rage

Late April 2002

I stepped over the threshold of our home at precisely four o'clock, like every day. I went about my daily routine like always: pick up the newspaper, leave my shoes at the door, put my coat in the closet, change my clothes upstairs, clean whatever mess was leftover from the night before that we never got to in the morning (dishes, rumpled sheets, etc.), let Reg out of his cage for awhile and toss him a treat or two, and finally sitting down at the dining table with _The Guardian_. Normally, I would read for half an hour and fold it up when Draco came home at five. But this particular day was different. I got caught up in the paper and didn't notice time pass. When I happened to glance at my watch I realized it was 5:23pm. It was highly unusual for him to not be home yet, and even more unusual that he wouldn't have sent word explaining as to why. I shrugged and folded my paper. There was a good probability that there was an emergency at work, something that he couldn't step away from long enough to tell me he would be late.

But I was getting hungry and I was impatient, so I decided to busy myself with making us dinner, though it was normally something he preferred doing. I bewitched the paper to float about the kitchen so I could read it while I went about cooking up some bangers and mash. By the time I finished and set our plates down at the table it was 6:33. I sighed and stepped into the hallway and peeked out the glass window in the door. No sight of him. I stepped into the living room and scrawled on a spare bit of parchment before stepping back into the hall. I whistled sharply. The noise carried and reverberated off the walls. Reg came flying down from the second floor, landing on the banister beside me.

"Hey, Reg. Think you can go find Draco and give this to him?" I asked, handing him the poorly folded note.

He took it in his beak dutifully.

"Thank you," I said politely, petting a few of his feathers. He had finally gotten used to my presence in his house. He was not as affectionate with me as he was with Draco, but he at least allowed me to touch him from time to time. He was as stuck up as his owner had been once, so I knew eventually he would get over himself. He took off from the banister and went back up the stairs to the one open window in our room. I realized it was risky to send him out in broad daylight, but I was too anxious to care about the muggles right now.

I forgot about the food entirely. I started to fret, pacing the hall. Ten minutes of pacing made me realize that I had to occupy myself with something. I set to cleaning the kitchen by hand, knowing that it would take longer and keep me preoccupied far longer. I cleaned every pot and dish I had dirtied from making dinner by hand, even drying them each slowly with towels. I tucked each dish back where they belonged and cleaned the sink out. I chanced a look at the clock and groaned — 7:22pm. I whistled loudly, wondering if Reg had come back and neglected to give me any return post. He did that from time to time just to be spiteful. He flew into the kitchen, landing on the counter in front of me.

"Well, Reg? Did you bring it to him?"

He bowed his head but looked positively agitated. He was likely insulted that I would doubt his abilities.

"And? Did he write anything back?"

The great eagle owl ruffled his feathers and hooted at me. I sighed. He clearly had nothing to offer me. So instead, I scrawled another quick note and handed it to him, "Bring this to St. Mungo's would you?" Reg obeyed and soared off again.

How could Draco have gotten my letter and not felt the need to reply? I asked him what was holding him up and he didn't feel like telling me? I leaned against the counter and waited patiently. St. Mungo's was less than ten minutes from our home by foot. Indeed, Reg returned in five minutes flat with a response.

 _Evening Mr. Potter,_

 _Draco left around mid-afternoon today for lunch. He sent word he was taking a half day and would not be returning. That is all the information I can provide, unfortunately._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Walter Fawley, Director of St. Mungo's Second Floor_

The words offered no comfort. I crumpled the page and threw it in the sink. I was getting less worried and increasingly furious. He had bothered to contact work to tell the he wouldn't be coming back in but he had not felt the need to contact me. I waved my wand over the paper in the sink and set it aflame. I watched it burn to a crisp. I wandered into the living room and resigned myself to sitting on the couch, deliberately sitting on the far left end that aligned with the entryway to the hall. When he did finally walk through the door I would see him immediately.

He walked in at 10:47pm. My muscles were stiff from sitting for so long without the slightest movement or twitch. The sky had darkened and I had not bothered to turn a light on. Consequently, he did not see me when he stepped in. Not a single light was on as he hung his coat. He slipped his wand out and a light filled the hall. He turned his wand to point down the hall toward the living room in which I sat. He jumped and a spell rocketed toward me silently. I had been fidgeting with my wand in hand for hours. I blocked the spell with little thought.

"Harry?" He asked hesitantly.

I twitched my wand and the lights flickered on.

"What are you doing?" He asked darkly as he walked into the room. He was not in his work scrubs. He was in his best suit.

"I think the better question is where have you been?" I asked coldly. I was furious. I had been sitting here panicking for hours. And he had the gall to wonder why I was waiting up for him?

"Is it really any of your bloody business?"

I launched onto my feet, suddenly feeling the quiet rage that had been simmering beneath the surface all these hours flare to life in my chest, "Of course it's my fucking business!"

His eyes widened briefly in surprise but quickly returned to a defensive state. His arms crossed, "I don't see how it is. My business is my own."

"You can't just be home nearly six hours late without an explanation and expect me to be okay with that." My voice was steadily rising in volume.

"You don't want to know where I've been."

"And I'm telling you that I do. Now tell me, Draco, where have you fucking been?" This felt too familiar. It was suddenly impossible to see the man I had chosen, the man I loved. All I saw was the boy who infuriated me half of my life.

"It doesn't matter," He said calmly and turned his back to me.

"It matters to me. I've been worried sick about you."

"Oh, give it a rest. You probably went and had a grand old night with Ron and Hermione. Why on earth would you worry about me?" He snipped as he marched up the stairs.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I followed just behind him. "I wrote to St. Mungo's to see if you were there, hoping to god you were just held up at work. But no, apparently you left work earlier in the day and had the respect to tell them you wouldn't be back but not enough to tell me where you were. What the hell is that all about?"

"Just let it go," He shouted over his shoulder as he barreled up the stairs. He jumped the last three steps and rushed into our room, slamming the door behind him. I heard the door lock and rolled my eyes. My wand quickly cut through the air and unlocked it just as quickly as I barged in.

"I'm not letting it go. Tell me the truth," I demanded. "Now."

He turned on his heel and faced me, suddenly only standing just a foot from me, "Why do you care? Quit pretending like I'm not still the kid you rejected. You know deep down you still see me as the brat that dogged you day and night. I guess the real question is why you've bothered to keep toying with me for so long."

"What the hell are you going on about?" His words were poisonous but I could not figure out where the venom had come from. What on earth had happened? What was he not telling me? "This isn't like you. Something's happened."

"Oh good job. As always, you've solved the goddamn riddle. Something indeed happened. And guess what? You shouldn't bother caring. I'm not worth your time. So just go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"If I have to make you leave me alone," He withdrew his wand from the pocket of his suit jacket, "I will."

"You wouldn't," I whispered, shocked he would go so far.

"Don't even try me. We both know I would beat you."

"I don't want to duel you, Draco."

"Then get out."

I stood there quietly, trying to assess the best course of action. I couldn't back down. If I turned away from him now he might shut me out forever. That was the last thing I wanted. I tried to figure out what could have suddenly caused him to become so furious, so hateful and doubtful of our relationship. And then it dawned on me, "Lucius."

He was caught off guard by this, taking a step back. My wand had still been in my hand and I took his moment of surprise to my advantage, " _Expelliarmus_ ," His wand shot out of his hand and clattered to the floor. He turned to grab it but I thought one step ahead of him, " _Accio_." His wand flew across the room and I caught it with ease.

"Give it back!" He roared.

"No," I said sternly, holding both of them in one hand. "I would stay where you are. You're not going to be able to get it from me, so there's no point in trying."

He realized the truth of the matter. If he tried to run for his wand, to rip it from my hand, I could just stun him with twice the power. "Fine," He sneered.

"Now," I said simply, slowly pocketing the wands in my back pocket so he couldn't try and go for them. "Tell me what he did."

He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. He sat there for a moment, silent in his rage. He ran a hand through his hair roughly. I could see he was ripping hairs out, most likely on purpose.. After a few minutes of this raging behavior, he seemed to finally relax long enough to start talking to me, "Father wanted to have lunch. He made it sound like it would be genial, just a father and son talking over a meal. It was so much worse."

I leaned against the door frame, listening intently. I had a bad feeling I knew where this was going to go.

"He asked if you had finally left me. He assumed all along that you would leave me, seeing me for what I really am: worthless. He told me how disappointed he is in me for being with you. He was so furious when I told him we were still together, that we were happy together. He tore into me, threatening to disown me, to take away what money he has given me over the years, including this house that his money bought. Mum convinced him to give it a rest. He stopped. He relented. He said he would wait for my owl announcing we had split up. He even said he bet we wouldn't last to September. I left around five."

"So where have you been for the past five hours then?" I asked gently. My own anger had dissipated as soon as I realized that his absence was not unfounded. I had feared the worst. I had been scared he had left me to be in someone else's arms. But knowing that it was just his poisonous father aggravating him was something I could actually handle.

He again went silent. He lt out a long sigh and stood to stare out the open window. Reg was out hunting by now and would fly in later tonight. I desperately wanted to encourage him to keep speaking, but I didn't want to push him and piss him off all over again. "I just — I couldn't shake what he said out of my head," He finally confessed.

"Where have you been?" I repeated gently.

"Getting lost, mostly. I just wandered." He kept his back to me as he spoke.

"So instead of coming home to talk to me about it you thought it would be better to mope around until you made yourself depressed?"

"I didn't say I behaved rationally."

"So that's what all that rubbish about me not caring about you came from?"

He turned back around and nodded slowly.

"You don't actually think that do you?"

He let out a deep breath, "I think it. But I know it isn't true. It's just … hard to believe you could ever actually love me, care for me. Not when I'm like this anyway."

"Come here."

"Why?"

"Please."

He sighed and slowly walked over to me. He kept his distance. I took two steps forward and wrapped my arms around him. He immediately relaxed and leaned into me, his arms around my waist. I murmured gently by his ear, "I promise you, those thoughts nagging you in the back of your head are lies. I love you so much. You have to know that."

He bent his head and rested it against my shoulder. He was a bit taller than me so it had to be sore on his neck. "I do know it. It's just hard to believe sometimes. Why are you in love with a former death eater anyway?" He laughed dryly.

"Because the emphasis is on the word former. I don't see you as a death eater, Malfoy. I did once. But you're more complicated than one or two simple labels. You're perfect just being you."

"No, you are. For being able to forgive me."

"I know you would do the same for me."

He pulled back and rested our foreheads together. His eyes were shut and he was taking a deep breath. I was watching him curiously. His eyes eventually blinked open. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I should have told you what was going on right away. And I shouldn't have drawn my wand on you. I wouldn't have hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't have. It's okay. We're going to be okay." I reminded him with a kiss. He kissed back with a certain firmness that I could tell was his way of emphasizing just how much he meant it. Our fury that seemed to blaze so hot extinguished itself just as quickly. We fell into bed shortly thereafter.

* * *

 _A/N: Apologies for this one being dramatically shorter. But if it makes you feel any better, the next one will be ridiculously long to make up for it._


	27. Draco's Trip

**A/N: Full disclosure, this is the longest chapter. But, on the plus side, it's mostly dialogue and will be a fast read overall. I realize some people might not like this chapter, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Music is crazy important in this one, so see the bottom for a good long list of songs.**

* * *

May 22nd, 2002

I wrapped my arm around Harry's waist and pulled him against my body as we snuggled down for bed. He sighed peacefully, "You're so warm."

"I'm not always cold blooded, you know."

He snickered, "No, I suppose you can't be."

I let my eyes shut and pretty quickly began to fall asleep, but he snapped me back awake, "You know what I want for my birthday?"

"What?" I grumbled.

"To go on a roadtrip."

"What's that?"

He laughed some more, "Uh, it's a muggle thing. You get in a car and drive to where you want to go, usually somewhere far away. Road trips are special, because you get to plan what music you'll listen to and what food you'll eat and where you need to stop for gas."

"You realize you just sound like you're speaking in gibberish to me?"

"Yeah, I know, sorry. But it's what I want for my birthday. All four of us going on a road trip together."

"Did you just say the four of us?"

"Well of course I want Ron and Hermione to come."

"What made you think of this anyway?"

"Dean told me he has his father's old Ford, but that he doesn't drive it as much as he would have thought. Said he'd be willing to lend it to me if I wanted it."

"Yeah, sure, okay." I yawned. I don't know why I agreed, but I liked to think it was because I was half unconscious at the time. I had no clue what was in store for me when I agreed to it. If I had, I may not have agreed in the first place.

July 31st, 2002

"What is that abomination?" I stood on the sidewalk in front of our house with my arms folded in front of me, staring blankly at a giant piece of metal.

"It's a car, don't be so harsh, Draco. It has feelings," Harry said, seeming offended.

"It's a creature?"

"Of sorts," He smiled, "Go on, get in. We have to go get Ron and Hermione."

"How do I get in?" I asked, tilting my head to see it from another angle. I couldn't figure out where one would enter the metal ball on wheels.

Harry just chuckled and pulled at a contraption and magically opened a door.

"That's just weird."

"It's just a car."

"It's still weird," I muttered as I sat down in the plush chair inside the car. Harry walked around and got in on the other side. He put a key into the machine and it roared. I jumped in my seat, "Is there a storm coming?" I peered out through the windows and looked at the sunny skies.

Harry just cackled with laughter, "That's - the - engine," He managed to spit out between hard laughs.

"It sounds like thunder," I complained.

"Oh this is going to be _so_ much fun." He commented as he drove off into the road.

"Why can I feel the car rumbling?"

"Better get used to it, it'll be like that the whole way."

"It's like it's constantly vibrating."

He just kept laughing every time I made what apparently was a stupid comment. I stared at the bizarre panel of buttons between us. I poked at one and something else roared and air hit me in the face. I screeched slightly in surprise and punched the button again, turning it off. I poked another and noise blared from all around us. I stabbed the button before I could scream again. Why was everything in this car a jump scare? Was it supposed to scare people away from using them? He just shook his head at me as we drove on.

"So about the seating arrangement," Harry said a bit guiltily.

"What?" I dragged out the syllable, knowing whatever it was he was about to tell me was not going to make me happy.

"Hermione has to navigate directions on the map for me while I drive. So, she's going to have sit where you're sitting right now. You're going to sit in the back with Ron."

I groaned, "Why can't you just use magic to find your way?"

"Because, this is a muggle trip and we're going to do everything the muggle way."

"God why did you drag me into this?"

"If it makes you feel any better, Ron's probably not particularly thrilled either. You can both sit in the back and gripe all you want."

"That's hardly a comfort."

"Well, you're going to have to deal with it," He shrugged as he pulled up in front of Ron and Hermione's flat. The two were already waiting for us. Hermione was dressed far more casually than I had ever seen her. Her hair was pulled back and she wore sweatpants that were a more stylish version of what Harry wore around the house. She carried her purse on her shoulder.

"Okay, get on out now," Harry said.

" _How_?"

Harry reached across me and pulled at a plastic handle on the inside of the door, making it swing open. I rolled my eyes and got out.

"Morning, Draco," Hermione said with a cordial smile.

"Good morning," I nodded. "Morning Ron."

He grumbled and nodded toward me before taking a swig from his mug he was carrying. Hermione sighed and slipped past me, getting into the front seat and shutting the door.

"You don't want to go on this any more than I do, do you?" I asked.

He shook his head, "I don't see the point. But it's what Harry wants. I just wish it wasn't so damn early." He said as he walked around to the other side of the car.

"Not much of a morning person?" I guessed as I managed to find the handle on the back door and pop it open.

"Nope," He grunted before opening the door and sliding into the car.

I reluctantly followed, getting in and sitting directly beside him. The back of the car seemed somehow narrower than the front and forced us to sit uncomfortably close together. I had a really bad feeling that this was going to be a miserable experience.

"Buckle up," Harry advised as he began to drive. I sat behind Hermione and could hear her unfolding a map.

"What does that mean?" I asked, watching them curiously.

"Seat belt," Hermione said simply, pointing to a strap that came from the side of the car. "You have one just behind your left shoulder. You click it into that little plastic thing on the seat by your right hip."

I could see Harry biting his lip to stop himself from laughing. I followed Hermione's instructions and added, "Could you tell Harry to stop making fun of me for not understanding these silly muggle things?"

"Harry, don't be mean," She immediately said, lightly nudging his arm with her elbow.

"Oi, what am I supposed to do with my mug? I can't just put it in my lap. It'll spill and burn me to a crisp." Ron whined.

Hermione reached around and poked at what had looked like it was just a hunk of plastic that divided the front two seats. Instead, a little compartment popped open with two distinct spots for holding cylindrical objects.

"Well would you look at that?" Ron said with a surprised smile. He bent over and put his mug in it, "Amazing things muggles come up with when they don't have magic."

Hermione just rolled her eyes and smiled before turning back around and reading a direction out to Harry.

"Hey, where are we going anyway?" I asked curiously.

"Edinburgh," Harry answered.

"Edinburgh?" I asked.

"Edinburgh," Hermione confirmed as she looked down at the map.

"How long will it take to get there?" Ron asked.

"Eight hours or so."

Ron and I both groaned in agony. His head leaned against the window and I ran my hand through my hair. Eight whole hours being stuck next to the Weasley that hated me the most. "What are we supposed to do for eight hours?" I whined.

"Drive, obviously."

"Harry, don't be such a smartass," Ron complained.

"Yeah, what he said," I chimed in. I thought agreeing with him might make him more inclined to like me, but he gave me a withering look anyway.

"There are road games we can play," Hermione offered up helpfully.

"Like what?" Ron asked as he crossed his arms and leaned back against the seat.

"Well there's 'I Spy' and there's the alphabet game and there's — oh, I don't know. Harry what else could we play?"

"Truth or dare?"

"That seems dangerous," Hermione said nervously.

"No, no, it'll be funny." Harry assured her. She gave him a concerned look but said no more. "But before all of that," Harry continued, "We need to stop and grab snacks. Since I'm the only one with muggle money, I'll be taking care of what we get. And we need to fill up before we leave anyway." He pulled into a strangely shaped space and pulled up next to an odd device. I didn't understand anything that was happening, but I didn't want him to laugh at me again so I stayed quiet as he got out of the car. He walked around and did something to the car and sat there for a moment.

"Hermione?" I whispered.

"Yes, Draco?"

"What's he doing?"

"He's filling the car with gasoline. That's what makes it run."

"Oh, that — doesn't make any sense but thank you nonetheless."

Ron chuckled as he reached for his coffee again, "Have you never been in a car?"

I could feel my cheeks warm slightly, "No. I haven't. Why? Have you?"

"Yeah, but only because my dad's strange. He took an old muggle car and made it fly. Which, frankly, would make this go way faster."

"You're lucky. Harry keeps introducing me to muggle things, but I don't understand most of it. But you know quite a bit because of your dad. I'm a bit jealous."

"Oh, funny. You jealous of my father. What a world." He laughed dryly.

"Is that so hard to believe?" I asked, taken aback a bit.

"Well, considering you once openly insulted my entire family in front of my father. Yeah, it is a bit hard to believe."

"Ronald," Hermione admonished. She sounded like a mother.

" _Hermione_ ," He retorted sarcastically before turning his attention back to me. "I'm not trying to be bitter. I'm just giving you shit."

I sighed and shook my head, "You know, I can't tell with you."

"Sorry, mate. I'll try to stop myself from poking fun at you, but it's just so easy to do." He laughed.

I could just barely hear Hermione sigh and mutter, "Boys…"

Harry returned from the small store that was in the same weird lot that we were parked in. He popped back in the car and dumped a bunch of bags in the back seat with us.

"Now, Ron, you're in charge of passing up whatever I want to eat. Hermione, you have to feed it to me. I can't take my hands off the wheel, you know."

"God you're so demanding." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"What are these things anyway?" I asked, picking through the bags. Several small green and red bags with matching labels littered the seat between me and Ron.

"Crisps and sweets," Hermione said simply, reaching for one herself as we headed back onto the open road.

Ron picked one of the red bags up and made an odd face. We exchanged a look of confusion. We were both likely wondering where the chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott's were.

"Alright, I planned this all out. You two need an education in muggle music." Harry said as he managed to put a strange square plastic piece into the panel of odd buttons. I realized there was a slot that seemed to be designated for this square piece of plastic. It popped in and some noise began to fill the car.

Hermione groaned, "Really, Harry?"

He started bobbing his head to the beat, tapping the steering wheel with his hands.

I looked at Ron curiously and he just shrugged.

"BUT I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE," Harry started singing terribly.

"Oh, spare us the torture." Ron jeered over the music.

"NEVER." Harry shouted and continued singing terribly.

The three of us just began laughing at his horrible singing. The song was outrageously catchy, but I wouldn't tell him I thought so until quite awhile later. I didn't understand how the music was playing in the car, but I didn't mind it. Unfortunately, it made it quite difficult to hear what Harry or Hermione said. It more or less built a wall of sound between the front and back of the car.

Ron and I kept glancing at the pile of food. I hadn't managed to get my tea and toast that morning and the food looked very tempting. I cautiously reached out and picked up a bar in an orange and purple wrapper.

"What do you reckon it is?" I asked Ron.

"No idea. What's this?" He held up red packet with odd brown balls drawn on it.

"I — I can't figure out what that word is," I admitted, trying to read the label on his packet. "How about this, we both open ours and try them then we swap and try the other's."

"I don't want your nasty pureblood germs," He smirked.

I glared at him, "Ron. You _are_ a pureblood."

"Yeah, I know. It's just a bad joke. Alright, go ahead then." He ripped open his bag and shook out a couple little brown balls into his hand. I tore the wrapper off my bar.

"3, 2, 1," I counted down and we both ate. I slowly chewed, savoring the taste as much as I could. It was so much better than I expected it to be. It was nothing like anything the wizarding world had to offer, but it was delicious nonetheless. "Oh, damn, that is good." I admitted.

"These are too, here have a few." He leaned over, "Hold out your hand."

I offered a cupped hand and he dumped a few of the chocolate candies out for me as I handed him my chocolate bar. "Here, have a bite of this."

He took it from me a bit cautiously, "You sure you're not going to get me sick?"

"I'm a healer. If I get you sick I can cure you, so…"

"Fair enough." He said before taking a bite as I popped the little chocolate pieces on my tongue. They seemed to melt almost immediately and I bit down into a surprising crunch. I reached out and held the bag in Ron's hand that the candy came from. "How do you say that?"

"I don't know, but this bar is delicious. You can't have it back."

I rolled my eyes but didn't protest. I picked up another bag of the chocolate balls for myself and struggled with trying to pronounce it, "Mal —"

"Malt?"

"No maybe it's mal-tasers?" I guessed.

"It's not a long a, it's an e. It'd be mal-tehsers."

There was a quiet lull to open the next song and Harry and Hermione managed to overhear us poorly pronouncing the name. They both started laughing, "They're called maltesers. Honestly, can't you two read?"

"Of course I can," We both said defensively at the same time. We glanced at each other and smiled. It was bizarre to realize that we actually had anything in common outside of Quidditch. Who knew that being pureblood would actually be something worth bonding over?

"Harry, what is this song?"

Hermione and Harry both gasped in shock.

"What is it that popular?" Ron echoed my thoughts.

"You're damn right it is." Hermione insisted.

"Granger can swear?" I asked Ron with a smirk.

"Rarely, but only when she's serious."

She reached out and hit a button to make the music stop. "Harry, we've clearly been terrible friends to them. They ought to know this song immediately. I'm moderately insulted that they don't."

"Oh Merlin, you're being so dramatic," Ron whined.

"No, she's not. This song is perfect for road trips. Every person alive who has ever been on a long drive ought to have listened to it," Harry enthused.

Ron and I exchanged another puzzled look and shook our heads. "What's it called then?" I asked, figuring we may as well humor them.

They responded simultaneously, "Bohemian Rhapsody."

"What does that even mean?"

"Who cares? Just listen to it and enjoy the beauty of it." Harry insisted. The song restarted itself and he insisted we listen in silence. Ron and I leaned back with our candy, munching down the chocolate as the music poured into the car. It was incredibly strange. I had never heard anything like it in my life. Not that that was saying much, given that I was raised mostly on Celestina Warbeck and a few classical wizard composers. It went without saying that muggle musicians were all totally foreign to me. The sound was dramatically different as well. It was slow and soft and sounded familiar at first, but when it suddenly changed into a faster tempo it caught me off guard. But it wasn't unpleasant. It was, admittedly, a very fascinating song. The lyrics didn't make a lick of sense to me, and I wondered if some of the phrases I caught were just weird muggle things (what the hell is a 'fandango'?)

I was slightly distracted from the song, however, when I noticed Harry and Hermione jamming like fools in the front seats. Hermione was lip syncing beautifully while Harry was drumming on the wheel again. They looked like idiots, but it was obvious how much they both loved it. Ron and I exchanged looks and tried to snicker as quietly as we could. The song was so loud by now that this wasn't particularly difficult to accomplish. For the first half of the song they had managed to resist the urge to sing along, but by the last half they gave up and started screaming the lyrics together. Ron was practically having a fit with laughter and I likewise was having a hard time containing myself. The song dipped in volume and I covered my mouth to stop the giggles from leaking out. It finally petered out to and end and I managed to suppress my laughter just in time.

"So, is that not the best song ever?" Hermione asked, turning to look at us in the backseat. She frowned, "Why do you two look ridiculous?"

Ron gave in and burst with laughter, "Us look ridiculous? You two are mental."

"Oh shut up, that's what it's like to appreciate good music," Harry replied, glancing in the mirror back at us.

"But besides our antics, did you like it?" She asked, glancing between Ron and I.

I nodded, "Actually it's not that bad."

"I'm sorry," Ron said, "I honestly didn't listen much. I was too distracted by you two being pop stars up there."

"First of all, it's rock music not pop music." Hermione explained, "Secondly, shut up about it, you look just as ridiculous at Quidditch matches."

"That's entirely different," He argued.

"No it isn't," Harry added, "She's got you beat there. It's the same kind of insanity."

He rolled his eyes, "Alright, if you say so."

"Wait, Hermione, there's still one song they need to know. Well, they need to know all of their songs, but we'll start with this one." He poked a button in the control panel and a new song came on. The most bizarre sound began to fill the car. I couldn't even figure out what kind of instrument would make that noise.

"Oh, c'mon Harry, give me some credit," Ron said, "I _do_ know the Beatles. I wasn't raised in a closet, unlike you."

This actually elicited a laugh from Harry, "Do you know it Draco?"

I blushed and shook my head, embarrassed that I was the only one who didn't know what they were talking about.

"That's okay, love." He said sincerely, "When we get home I'll have you listen to all my favorites with me." He glanced in the mirror and smiled as he met my eyes.

I nodded shyly and listened to the remainder of the incredibly strange sounding song. "Why Strawberry Fields, Harry?" Hermione asked.

He shrugged, "Because we're driving through the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields? I honestly couldn't pick a track so I went with the literal."

"Oh, that's right, you like all of their crap." Ron commented with cheek.

"I will kick you out of this car," Harry threatened.

"The Beatles are overrated." Ron smirked with a glance at me. I had a feeling that the two of them had had this argument before.

"You know that's a damn lie. The Beatles are a national treasure along with bridge and the Queen herself."

"The Stones are better," Ron fake coughed.

"Oh shove off, we're never going to agree on this," Harry said irritably.

"What are the 'stones'?" I asked sheepishly.

"The second best rock band to ever live," Harry explained.

"I believe you meant best," Ron countered instantly.

"How do you know some of these songs but I don't?" I asked Ron, feeling inferior.

"Well, it's mostly because of Charlie and Bill. They had a few muggle born friends in school that introduced them to some music. A couple things got passed down the line to me. But somehow I missed Bohemian Rhapsody, which is apparently a crime." He sent a withering look to Hermione who did not take notice. He turned back to me, "Honestly, most wizards don't know this kind of stuff. We just ended up with a couple of weird muggleborns as partners so they feel the need to impose it on us."

"It's called sharing cultures, Ronald. We spent how many years learning and experiencing wizarding culture? It's only fair you got to know a little bit about muggle culture, at least the one in this region."

Ron shrugged and grabbed at a blue bag and popping it open, "What're these?"

"Walkers," Hermione answered without looking up.

"Come again?"

"Crisps. They're like fried potatoes, sort of. I don't really know how they make them though. Those are salt and vinegar, Ron, give them a try," She encouraged.

He tentatively took a bite of one of the crisps and made a ridiculous expression of revulsion. He handed the bag to me instead, "Are they all that revolting?" She laughed and shook her head, handing him a red bag, "These are plain salt. Not as strong."

I couldn't help but try one of the salt and vinegar crisps. I didn't understand why Ron made such a fuss about them. I liked them. "They're not that bad, actually."

"I knew there was a good reason for me dating you," Harry teased, asking Hermione to feed him the salt and vinegar ones as well.

Surprisingly, we managed to pass the first two hours of the trip like this. Harry and/or Hermione would enthuse about a muggle song or muggle food and Ron and I would just roll our eyes. Eventually, however, this grew old and we started to get bored. Ron and I were becoming increasingly frustrated with how long the trip was taking.

"Let's play a game," Hermione suggested.

"Truth or dare," Harry insisted.

"Oh, Harry, that could go so badly. I Spy and the alphabet game can't."

"I know, because they're boring games. It's my birthday, we're playing it."

"Spoiled brat," She muttered irritably as she slumped down in her seat. "Go on then, you start if you're going to insist on playing it."

He grinned, "Alright, Draco, truth or dare?"

"What?"

"Truth or dare?"

"You either choose truth and have to answer whatever he asks you, or you say dare and you have to do whatever he dares you to do. The trick of the game is there's no backing out," Hermione explained briefly, "Hence why I thought it was a bad idea."

I shrugged, "How bad can it be?"

"So, truth or dare?" Harry repeated.

"Um, dare, I guess?"

Without skipping a beat, "I dare you to go the rest of the trip shirtless."

" _Why_?" I asked immediately.

"Harry, what the hell?" Hermione sighed.

"For the love of Merlin," Ron shook his head.

"You have to do it, go on." Harry encouraged with a smile.

"Harry, is this really necessary?" Hermione asked

"What? I need something pleasant to look back at. He's beautiful enough as is, but he looks so much better without a shirt."

I blushed crimson but did as he said, undoing the seatbelt momentarily to unbutton my shirt. I folded it neatly and set it on the floor by my feet before putting the seat belt back on. I glanced up and realized they were all staring at me, though Harry turned his eyes back to the road pretty quickly (though not without a little smile).

"What?" I asked, not understanding why they were looking at me so strangely.

"How are you so toned?" Ron asked as he gawked at my chest.

I shrugged, "I dunno. There's a tonic I take that helps, but other than that it's mostly just from lifting supplies and people, at work."

Hermione muttered under her breath, "Damn," before she turned back around in her seat. I couldn't help but smirk slightly at that. It was a bit flattering.

"What are the scars from?" Ron asked.

"Ron do you ever think before you ask such invasive questions?" Hermione shook her head in disappointment.

"It's not invasive. They're right there. Kind of hard not to notice."

"It's fine. Harry gave them to me, actually."

"Can we not talk about it?" Harry said, his tone suddenly dark.

"I mean, I remember now where the scars came from. That stupid old book. But, yeah, whatever." Ron shrugged but turned back to me and held out his left arm. "I've got some pretty wicked scars too. Look at these!" He bragged, running a finger down the strangest scars that encircled his forearm. "Oh, and this one." He rolled up the short sleeve of his shirt and showed a giant ragged scar all around the shoulder. "Splinched."

"Nice," I said honestly. They were truly magnificent scars. They almost made him look like a war hero of some kind. I supposed he technically was. They all were.

"Draco, it's your turn. You have to ask Ron or I now."

"Oh, okay. Um — Ron, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Oh shit I didn't think of a question." They all laughed at this.

"Go on, it can be anything," Hermione encouraged.

I hummed in thought for a moment before grinning and turning to Ron, "If you had to shag a Hogwarts professor, who would it be? Past or present."

He laughed and Hermione looked repulsed in the front seat. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe just by process of elimination, Trelawney I guess? She's probably the only one I could realistically consider."

"Oh don't make me gag," Hermione scoffed.

"Would you rather I had said McGonagall?"

Harry and Hermione both shouted their disgust at this.

"I didn't think so!" Ron retorted irritably. "That being said: Hermione, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"If _you_ had to shag a professor, who would it be?"

"Is he allowed to repeat a question?" She asked Harry. He allowed it. She rolled her eyes, obviously reluctant. She finally smiled, "Oh, I've got it. Lockhart."

"Oh, Merlin, you're still not over him?" Harry complained.

"I am, but he's the only worthwhile option to be perfectly honest." She turned to Harry, "And just for that snide comment, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to … eat this." She reached about the car, grabbing odd bits of food. "Right. Malteser, followed by the vinegar crisp, and chase it with my orange juice."

"That's revolting," He grimaced, but he agreed nonetheless. He popped the chocolate malt ball into his mouth, added the crisp, chewed it all up, and washed it down with juice. He coughed and gagged for a while but eventually managed to recover while Hermione was laughing her arse off.

"Ugh, gross. Alright, who's my next victim?" He hummed for a moment before deciding, "Ron. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"So, you never told me, did you and Lav ever — y'know?" Harry glanced back at Ron in the mirror and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

Hermione rolled her eyes and leaned against the window.

Ron started to blush and cleared his throat, "Uh — kind of."

"Elaborate."

"No, I answered your question."

"Your answer was too vague. You have to be clear, car rules," Harry insisted.

Ron rolled his eyes, "She went down on me once, you happy?"

Harry laughed, "A little."

"Well fine then, if you're gonna be a dick about it I'll be one too. Harry, truth or dare?"

Harry snorted with laughter, "Oh I know where this is going. Truth."

I started to panic. I knew what was going to happen and I wanted to avoid it at all costs. My being half naked didn't help things. "When'd you let Cho go at you then?"

"I didn't."

"Don't tell me Ginny was your first? The famous Harry Potter couldn't get laid until after the war?"

He grinned, "Oh no, I lost my virginity before I even knew what a horcrux was."

"With who?"

I leaned against my window, trying to bury my face. Harry just started laughing. Ron finally seemed to piece two and two together. I could feel his eyes boring into me. "No. No fucking way." Ron finally pieced it together.

"Ohhhh, yes."

"Why did you have to ask, Ron?" Hermione cringed.

"I didn't know! How did you know?"

"Because he told me a long time ago. You couldn't be trusted with knowing it at the time, you would have lost your cool."

Ron looked ready to argue this point but seemed to think better of it, "Well, you're probably right about that."

"Would you like to know the circumstances?" Harry offered, delighted to be making both his best friend and his boyfriend horrifically uncomfortable.

"No, I'd rather not."

"Well, it was February of fifth year,"

"Harry, no." I whined.

"And Draco here was just pining after me like he always does."

"Stop it, you're killing me." I whimpered pathetically.

"Caught me coming out of an occlumency lesson and threatened to turn me into Umbridge if I didn't kiss him." I shook my head, disbelieving that this was happening.

"That's not losing virginity," Ron argued.

"Oh but the plot thickens," Harry continued, "Because he could have just stopped there but he didn't. Nope, he begged and pleaded for me. Oh if you could have seen the look on his face." He laughed.

" _Shut up,_ " I groaned.

"I've heard enough, thank you." Ron said frankly.

"Really, Harry. You're going to make them jump out of the car," Hermione insisted.

"Oh, fine, fine, I'll stop. I just love making you two cringe. It's really quite funny."

"Funny for you, arsehole," Ron grumbled.

"And would you look at that? It's my turn again. Hermione, truth or dare?" Harry said.

"Truth," She said cautiously, as if doubting whether or not she had made the right choice.

"When did you and Ron go at each other the first time?"

"Why does everything have to be sexual with you?"

"I'm a guy, that's what guys do," Harry excused himself lazily, "And frankly I've been wondering for years. I think I put a bet down with Ginny once that it was within two weeks of the war ending. She said it was within a week."

It was Hermione's turn to blush, "It was, um, four days after we got back to the Burrow."

"Dammit, now I owe her a galleon." Harry said, otherwise unconcerned with the answer.

"Okay, my turn. I guess I'll just keep up with the theme then. Draco, truth or dare?"

"Well, I'd rather not vomit in Dean's car with whatever vile food stuff you're going to dare me to eat, so I'll take truth."

"Who'd you lose your virginity to?"

"Can we stop with the uncomfortable questions?"

"No, that's the whole fun of the game," Harry insisted. "Besides, I know the answer so nothing you say can shock me."

I sighed and looked away from Ron and Hermione's curious gaze. I cleared my throat and stared out the window at the expansive fields surrounding us, "Blaise Zabini."

"Okay, but you had sex with Harry fifth year when you were fifteen. You lost your virginity to Blaise before fifth year?" She asked in shock.

"Yeah, fourth year."

"Well I'll be damned," Ron exclaimed, "You got action before all of us."

I couldn't help but have one shining moment of superiority. I sat up straight and looked him dead in the eye, "I mean, you do see this right?" I gestured toward my bare chest, "Of course I got busy before you lot."

Hermione cracked up, "Oh, he got you there, Ron."

Ron shook his head but did smile, "Okay, that was a good one."

Being my turn again, I offered the question up to Harry, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"When the hell did you learn to drive?" I was genuinely curious to know.

"Yeah, how did you?" Hermione asked, apparently equally curious.

"The Dursleys made me learn over the summer so that I could chauffeur Dudley around everywhere." He explained briefly.

We continued going back and forth through the game, though the truths became increasingly dull and the dares began to get bizarre.

"Ron, truth or dare?" Hermione asked later.

"Dare,"

"I dare you to hold Draco's hand for at least five minutes. You two need to learn to get over yourselves and love each other."

Harry grinned, holding out his hand palm up to Hermione, "Excellent."

She smacked his hand with her own for some unknown reason. I decided to question it later. Ron groaned but held out his hand to me anyway. I shook my head as I reached out and held his hand.

"No, no, children," She admonished, "Interlock fingers, come on. It's not that hard."

We reluctantly did as we were told. We both persisted in staring out our windows as if it wasn't happening. We routinely would check to see how much time had passed, but it seemed as if time was moving significantly shorter for us just to make us suffer. Harry and Hermione seemed to be thoroughly enjoying our misery. "You having fun?" Ron mocked.

"Oh, quite. This is very entertaining to watch," Hermione laughed.

"Wait, I know how to make this better." Harry smirked, poking at the control panel until a new song came on. An ominous sort of sound filled the car. Hermione raised an eyebrow, but after the first few words became audible she giggled. "Oh, Harry, you're a genius."

"What is it?" Ron asked anxiously, not recognizing this one either.

"Oh you'll see," Harry laughed. He started to sing along and bob his head like he had for every song, " _Was in the spring, then spring became the summer, who'd have believed you'd come along_?"

Hermione grinned and chimed in at the next line, singing along terribly with Harry, " _Hands touching hands, reaching out, touching me, touching yooooouuuuuuu_ — "

"SWEET CAROLINE!" Harry shouted.

"BUM BUM BUM!" Hermione echoed.

I turned to Ron and shouted over them, "Why are we in love with them again?"

"I don't know but I might kill them by the time this is over."

"I'll help," I promised.

"Oh, look, they're bonding over our demise!" Hermione laughed delightedly. They continued to go along singing. We interrupted only long enough to demand how long it had been. Hermione made us wait until the song was over and finally let us let go of each other. She managed to recover herself from her fit of laughter long enough to say, "Alright, your turn Ron."

"Good. Harry, truth or dare?"

He didn't respond at first. He just started making an anxious noise.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked cautiously.

"Um, we have a big problem." Harry said seriously. The car lurched awkwardly and started to slow rapidly.

"What's happening?" I asked, starting to panic.

Harry cursed and swerved the wheel to the left as the car sputtered out. He just managed to get the car onto the shoulder of the road before it gave out. "We're out of gas." He was livid. "I wasn't paying attention and we're out of fucking gas in the middle of nowhere."

Hermione, always quick to problem solve, quickly interfered, "Harry, it's fine. We're not in the middle of nowhere. There was a gas station just a few kilometers back. We'll go and get some gas, bring it back, fill it up, and we'll be good as new. It puts us back time wise, but that's alright. Two of us will stay with the car and two of us will get gas, just to be safe. Better to go in teams." She reasoned.

"Well it's my fault we're out of gas, so I'll go. Draco, you want to come with?"

"Sure, why not." I shrugged, "Anything to get out of this stuffy car."

"We'll stay here then, maybe we can flag down a passerby that has some extra gas," Hermione said as she popped the door and stepped out. We all followed suit. Ron leaned against the car. I followed Harry around to the back of the car. To my surprise, he started walking down the road.

"We're not apparating?"

"One, someone might see us. Two, I'm not certain of where to land us and I'd rather not risk splinching us because I'm not certain of the destination. So we walk."

"How far?"

Harry shrugged, "Not sure. Few kilos."

I groaned, "How do muggles survive? Driving takes forever, walking takes the longest."

"I mean, they did manage to figure out how to fly," He countered as we walked on, side by side, on the edge of the road.

"You're kidding? I've never seen a flying muggle!"

Harry laughed, "No, you goof, they can't literally fly. They built these giant things called airplanes to carry them through the air. I'll point one out if we happen to see one."

"Well, even if they did learn to fly themselves places, it still is faster to apparate."

"Oh, quit your whining. I would have thought you would be grateful to take a break from sitting next to Ron."

"He's not too bad. Although the stupid hand holding was unnecessary."

Harry smirked, "You have to admit it was funny though."

I rolled my eyes at this, "If you say so."

"I do say so. You two are finally getting along then?"

"Yeah, mostly because we've been making fun of you two the whole time."

"I expected as much."

"It's nice having someone who's equally baffled by most of this stuff. Other than a couple of songs, we're pretty much in the same boat of confusion right now." As I spoke I noticed a car passing on the other side of the street, approaching from the horizon. As they neared I happened to glance over and noticed their back window roll down. A young woman leaned out the window and whistled loudly before laughing and collapsing back in the car as they zoomed past us. I glanced at Harry, brows furrowed, "Do you know what that was all about?"

Harry snorted, "Did you forget you're still half naked?"

I blushed. I had indeed forgotten. It wasn't uncomfortable so I had just gotten used to it. "Oh, Merlin, the muggles at the gas station will think I'm deranged."

"Or a raving lunatic," Harry added helpfully.

"You're such a dick for making me take it off." I shoved him aside as penance.

He laughed and regained his balance, nudging me back with his elbow, "I couldn't help myself. You asked for a dare straight off the bat, that's just asking for trouble."

"I didn't know you would suggest something so ridiculous."

"Haven't you figured out by now that sometimes I just like to stare at you?"

"You know, I had noticed, funny enough."

"What gave it away?"

"Oh, sneaking into the shower while I'm in it and just gawking was probably the most obvious one. That and staring while I change."

His grin was unabashed, unashamed. "What can I say? You make me weak."

I rolled my eyes and shoved him aside again, "Enough with the terrible one liners, Potter."

He didn't even falter from the shove and instead wrapped an arm around my waist, "Oh, like you don't absolutely love it."

I shook my head but didn't push him away this time. He was somewhat right. The lines were terrible, but their actual meaning was a bit sweet. He was so affectionate sometimes it was almost nauseating, but I ultimately loved every second of it. I threw my arm over his shoulder, "Yeah, I suppose I do. How do you know those girls weren't whistling at you though?"

"Because I'm not as attractive as you? Obviously."

"Are you kidding? You're devastatingly handsome."

"Oh, you're so full of it. You're trying to butter me up. What do you want?"

"Nothing, and you know I'm not sucking up at all."

"I beg to differ," He argued.

Another car began to approach, "Regardless," I added, ignoring the car, "Half of the wizarding world would kill to be as lucky as I am to date you."

He finally blushed a bit, looking away. "You think so?"

"I know it."

The car suddenly made a loud cry like an elephant as it past us. I jumped in surprise and scurried away from Harry onto the grass beside the road. The car past and left Harry in a fit of laughter.

"What the hell was that?" I asked in terror. I had thought the monstrous car was going to attack me, like the noise was its battle cry.

"It was just a car horn." He explained as he recovered from his fit of giggles, "Normally it's used to tell another drive they're being a jackass and need to pay attention. But that was probably a 'you're hot' honk."

"Why do muggles flirt with car horns and whistling?"

He snickered, "I honestly don't know. As if your flirting was any less ridiculous."

I scoffed, "Excuse me?"

"Oh, please. 'Kiss me like you mean it or I'll tell Umbridge on you', yeah that's how you tell someone you're into them." He teased mercilessly.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "You're going to make my eyes ache by the time we're done with this trip. How close were we to Edinburgh before the car gave out anyway?"

"Only about halfway."

I groaned.

"Oh, you're going to be fine. See?" He pointed out the station that we were finally nearing, "We're almost there. Once we get the gas we can apparate back. Happy?"

"Not really, but it helps," I complained.

My sour attitude did not affect his at all. He maintained his high spirits the whole walk there, and bought the gasoline with a stupid grin. He handed over the muggle notes as the clerk stared at us awkwardly. We walked just out of sight of the building before apparating back to the car. We ended up in the grass just beside it. Both of us immediately caught sight of Granger and Weasley snogging against the car. I looked down at my shoes while Harry simply shouted, "Oh don't mind us, we're just trying to get us out of here. But go ahead and feel the need to procreate."

"Oh, honestly, Harry. Grow up." Hermione snapped irritably as she pulled away from Ron, who looked far less troubled about it. I watched curiously as Harry filled the car with the foul smelling liquid that apparently made it run. "Why don't I drive the rest of the way?" Hermione offered.

"That would actually be wonderful," Harry thanked her as he emptied the canister the gasoline had been put in. He vanished it without a second thought and we all piled back into the car. Harry now sat in the seat in front of me. He immediately demanded another bag of salt and vinegar crisps, before Hermione even had a chance to start the car and head out again.

"You have a serious addiction to these things don't you?" I asked as I passed him a bag.

"I haven't had them in ages, you can't blame me."

"Liar, I've seen these little bags crumpled up in your waste basket at work nearly every day." Ron pointed out.

Harry shrugged, "I'm a simple man. I like my men and I like my crisps."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Ron rolled his eyes.

Unsurprisingly, with Hermione at the helm the ride was more predictable and laid back. That was, until Harry got another hairbrained idea about an hour after we started up again.

"Absolutely not," Hermione insisted.

"Oh, come on, why not? You know how funny it would be?"

"Not to mention reckless and completely dangerous. If the car was damaged Dean would be furious," Hermione tried to argue with him.

"We can fix it with magic, it doesn't matter," Harry persisted.

"Excuse me, doesn't anyone care what we think about it?" Ron asked irritably.

"Do you want to do it?" Harry asked.

Ron thought it over, glancing at me. He shrugged, "I don't know, can't hurt can it? Technically I already drove a car before, but it was a flying car so I think it's a little different. Would you do it?"

This car scared the shit out of me and I knew nothing about it. But at the same time, it was an opportunity that didn't come around very often for wizards.

I finally nodded, "Yeah. Why not?"

Ron turned back to Harry, "Yeah, what he said. Why not?"

"Pull over Hermione. Three against four."

"Fine, but I'm not saving your lives."

"Oh, please, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself," Harry commented dryly as she pulled over onto the shoulder. The stretch of road before us was pretty much abandoned. "Alright, let's switch. Ron and Draco in the front, we'll tell you what to do from the back." Harry instructed before popping out of the car. Ron and I got out and walked up to the respective seats at the front, meaning he would have to drive first. I got in beside him and waited patiently.

" _Please_ put the seat belts on." Hermione insisted, "If there's any point where we're more likely to die it's with one of you two at the wheel."

"Die?" I said, spinning around in my seat to look back at them. "Nobody ever said anything about dying. You can't actually die in these things can you?"

Harry shrugged as Hermione laughed, "Of course you can! Go to a muggle hospital some time, you'll see what car accidents look like in a heartbeat."

"Don't worry about it," Harry said in an attempt to drown her out. "Alright, Ron, the car is already running so just put it back in drive with this. Push it to the letter 'd'." He reached between the seats and tapped on a weird knob sticking out of the car, "And put your foot on the pedal to the right."

Ron tentatively did as he was told. He shifted the odd black knob. Nothing happened at first and then we lurched forward.

"Not quite," Harry said unhelpfully.

"You trying to kill us?" I teased.

"Shove off, Malfoy."

"Easy boys," Harry warned, "Slowly lower your foot. Don't do it all at once."

He apparently did as he was asked. The car slowly eased forward this time, steadily picking up speed.

"You've got it!" Harry said.

Ron was grinning ear to ear, "This is kind of fun, not going to lie." The car began to move faster and faster.

"Ron," Hermione said nervously from the backseat, "Take it easy."

"Nah, let him have fun." Harry said as he rolled down his window in the back. I couldn't help but notice his wand hand slip out and tap the car. "Nobody will see us, it's fine."

"Harry, you're such a bad influence on him." She complained as the car began to race ahead. "I don't care if the police see us, I care about him killing someone!"

"Oh, relax, it's fine." Harry said. "Don't hit anything Ron, or Hermione will kill us both."

"No, I'll just let the high speed impact kill you for me," She said, folding her arms.

"Alright, alright, I'll slow down. Uh, Harry? How do I slow down?"

"Ease your foot off," The car began to slow, but not much, "Now, very carefully, put your foot on the left pedal. Don't push it too hard or too suddenly, just ease into it." The car sure enough began to ease into a more typical speed. "Now pull over to the shoulder and put your foot all the way down on the left pedal and shift the handle to the 'p'."

Ron obeyed easily, pulling over and parking the car again. He turned over to me, "Think you can do as good a job?"

"Well, I probably won't give anyone whiplash like you did." I smirked as I got out of the car. He followed and we walked around each other to switch spots.

"Yeah, but you'll go so slow the snails will beat us there."

"Oh, so original," I rolled my eyes as I got back in the car.

"Now, do everything just the way Ron did." Harry said simply.

I put my hand on the knob and pushed it with a little difficulty to the big white letter 'd'. I looked down at my feet and carefully eased down on the right pedal. The car immediately started lurching into the grass field beside us.

"The wheel!" Hermione shrieked in surprise.

"Hands on the wheel, love." Harry said calmly as he glared at Hermione.

I quickly put my hands on the wheel, but it didn't make the car get back onto the road. It just kept rumbling through the grass. We were approaching a giant tree.

"Turn the wheel to the right," Harry directed softly. Ron and Hermione, meanwhile, appeared to be bracing for impact. As I turned the wheel to the right and steered back toward the road I realized that the song that was playing throughout the car was crooning, " _I'm on the highway to hell_ ," I couldn't help but agree.

"Stay in the lane!" Hermione squawked in terror as I veered to the opposite side of the road.

"You want to stay in one particular lane, love, don't try going through all three at once."

"How are you remaining calm right now? He's going to fucking kill us." Ron shouted.

"Stop screaming at me!" I shrieked. I tried to move the wheel around, finally realizing that it pointed the car. I adjusted the wheel a few times before finally landing in one lane. Thankfully, there were no cars anywhere near us. I was sure if there had been we would likely have been killed. How ironic. Draco Malfoy finally managed to off Harry Potter. I could see the _Prophet_ headlines now: Death Eaters Murders Potter, Potter Dead at 22 Due to Freak Accident Involving Death Eater, Malfoy Family Delighted at Son's Successful Murder.

I sighed with relief as the car finally seemed to behave the way it did for the rest of them. I was convinced now that it had nothing to with me and everything to do with the car. It clearly just hated me and loved them and wanted to act out when I was driving it.

"Okay, I think we've had enough of that for one day." Hermione said a few heartbeats later. I glanced in the mirror and noticed she looked completely frazzled.

"Why don't you pull back onto the shoulder, love?" Harry suggested gently. I gladly moved the wheel and navigated us back onto the shoulder, slowing down as I did. I moved the knob to the 'p' as I did and the car grumbled and lurched slightly, but parked nonetheless.

"Okay, well, next time don't put it in park until the car is totally stopped." Harry suggested softly. "Shall we get back on the road then, gents?"

"Yeah, before Draco here causes an accident," Ron said with a shake of his head. We all switched back into our prior seats. I couldn't help but snap back at Ron as we sat down in the back, "You know, you weren't that good yourself."

"Yeah, but I didn't nearly kill us multiple times."

"Ron, be nice," Harry said, though he sounded more like Hermione. "He doesn't need you to give him grief. You both are miserable at it, as you should be."

Hermione started us back on track and we spent quite a few uncomfortable minutes in stony silence. Ron was sitting with his arms crossed and glaring out the window. I sighed to myself, wondering how I could make Ron relax. I glanced at the bag of sweets that still rested between us in the seat. I picked up a bag of Maltesers and ripped it open, popping a few in my mouth before tapping Ron's arm. He barely turned his head, but smiled a bit when he saw the bag. He silently held his hand out and I shook a few out for him. "Thanks, mate."

"No problem," I murmured politely.

Harry peeked over his shoulder at us and smiled to himself before poking at the button in the control panel that started the music up again.

"Are you still not out of music on that thing?" Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head, "We kept pausing it for so long that we haven't finished it. And I may or may not have made multiple tapes and switched them out when nobody was looking."

She shook her head as if she was ashamed but she smiled nonetheless, "Oh, this is a good one. I'm alright with this"

"I should hope so, it's one of the best songs of all time." Harry added.

"I don't understand how you can recognize it before any of the words start," Ron said as I nodded in agreement. It was very weird. I also never would have guessed that Hermione listened to this kind of music at all. I supposed appearances could be deceiving.

The words finally kicked in as Hermione started speeding the car the slightest bit. It was her turn to jam out behind the wheel.

"You know this one?" I asked Ron, wondering if now that the man was crooning throughout the car if he recognized it. He shook his head. Again, despite the fact that Ron and I had no idea what was going on they forced us to listen to them singing along loudly to it instead of letting us hear the song itself, " _Woah, we're halfway there — wooooah, livin' on a prayer_!"

Ron shook out a couple Maltesers and tossed them at Harry, booing at him. Harry just turned in his seat and caught a flying Malteser in his mouth by accident. We all cheered in delighted surprise and Hermione laughed at us. The rest of the drive continued in these playful spirits. I'm pretty confident we ate our weight in sweets and crisps that day.

We didn't make it into Edinburgh until around eight o'clock at night. Harry's plan the whole time, unbeknownst to Ron or I, was to spend the night in the city and spend the next day seeing the sights. He had apparently always wanted to visit, as had Hermione. She had planned the route, Harry had planned the rest. Which, naturally, meant that when he went to pay for the hotel he realized that he didn't have nearly enough muggle money left to pay for it. He turned away from the concierge desk and turned to us in the lobby, "What the hell are we going to do?" He was clearly panicked.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Well, lucky for you I think ahead. Come on, I have a plan." She led us back outside and got back in the car, driving us to a nearby park. Park was a bit of an understatement. It was more like a giant hill in the middle of town. She parked the car just off the thin road and enchanted it to be invisible before hiking up the hill with us trailing behind her.

"Tell me, Hermione, what's your plan?" Harry asked curiously.

"It's going to be like the good old days," She explained simply, "I'm over prepared, you're underprepared. I've packed a couple of tents just in case."

Ron and Harry shook their head in disbelief as they exchanged a bewildered look. I couldn't help but ask them, "Does she always plan for you two to fuck up?"

"Yes," They answered frankly.

Hermione just laughed as we reached the peak. She looked down over Edinburgh with a deep sigh of satisfaction. The sun was setting on the horizon. She opened her purse and pulled out her tents anyway. She waved her wand and they quickly opened themselves and pitched up with ease. She cast a couple charms over the space. "Technically, this is not allowed. But what the muggles don't know won't hurt them." She explained as I watched with fascination. Harry and Ron almost seemed bored, not impressed by the power she had to possess to cast protective charms silently.

"So when I heard people say you were the greatest witch of our generation they weren't joking were they?" I asked, my eyes following the slight distortion the magic made in the atmosphere. It was simply stunning.

She smiled, but did not blush out of modesty, "Yeah, pretty much. Not to brag, but it's probably true. Though many come close. Your boyfriend is one of those few who can rival me."

I raised an eyebrow and turned to Harry. He shook his head, "No, that's not true at all."

"Oh, you know it is." Ron insisted.

"You can cast a corporeal patronus. I barely can," Hermione pointed out.

"You can, it's just hard for you, that's all." Harry tried to defend her.

"Harry, shut up. Don't be so damn modest," Ron said. "Now, what should we do besides give Harry shit for the rest of the night?"

"Oh, I've got something we can do in here." Hermione said, rustling through her bag. She scrambled around for a few minutes before giving up and casting a summoning charm. A bottle of firewhiskey spat out of her bag and fell into her hand.

Ron laughed, "That's my girl."

Harry knelt in the grass and cleared a section of the grass with a swipe of his wand and enlarged a few pebbles lying about, forming them into a circle before starting a fire. In an excellent stroke of timing, the sun dipped just below the horizon right as the first began to grow. Harry sat down in the dirt and gestured for me to sit down with him. I didn't feel inclined to get my pants dirty, but then I remembered that there was undoubtedly melted candy on them already. I plopped down beside him and he immediately put an arm around me and pulled me close. I noticed Ron and Hermione more or less doing the same across the small fire.

They both took swigs of the whiskey before passing it over to us, "Mind the fire, the last thing we need is to blow our eyebrows off."

"Well," Harry said as he reached across the low flames for the open bottle, "Seamus isn't here so we should be safe." This gave everyone a laugh as he downed a fair bit of the amber liquid before passing it to me. I took a few nips of the booze, passing it back to Hermione so she could close it back up.

"Oh, we should have toasted." Hermione realized as she put the bottle back into her bottomless purse.

"We don't even have glasses, 'mione." Harry pointed out.

"You got me there,"

"What would you have toasted to?" Ron asked curiously.

"Surviving the trip up here," She giggled. "I was worried it wouldn't work, honestly."

"My driving is not _that_ bad," I tried to argue.

"No, it wasn't you, Draco." She giggled, "Although you are a terrible driver. No, I thought you and Ron would make it halfway, get fed up, and make us turn around."

"Why would we do that? It's Harry's birthday. We're not going to ruin his birthday present just because we don't like muggle things." Ron said as he pulled Hermione into his lap.

"You're too kind," Harry smiled over at his friends. "But please tell me you at least liked some of the songs."

"I did," I chimed in, "Though I think I'll hate that Caroline song the most. That was very mean to play."

Harry laughed, "Oh you would have done the same thing."

I sighed, "I mean, you're not wrong. But still."

"I don't know what you're complaining about," Hermione smiled, "I love holding Ron's hand. He's always so warm." She turned and looked fondly down at him.

"That's because he's your boyfriend. It's different when he's your — whatever he is."

"I think you're looking for the word 'friend'," Ron said plainly, looking across the fire at me with an approving smile.

I couldn't help but smile back, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, why not. Point is though, guy friends don't hold hands. That's a gay thing."

"Oh, please," Harry admonished, "It doesn't have to be. Girls hold hands with each other all the time. It's not that strange."

"Would you have held hands with Draco before you were with him?"

"No, but we actually hated each other." Harry clarified, "I would have and would still hold hands with Seamus or Dean or Neville if they wanted me to. If something happened and they needed emotional support, I would offer it. Whether that's holding their hand, hugging them, or what have you. That's what friends are for, Ron."

"See, Ron? It's okay for men to have hearts, you know."

"Something tells me this has come up before," Harry guessed.

Ron rolled his eyes, "Hermione is always telling me I follow 'male gender roles' too much. If you ask me, I think it's a load of hogwash."

"Ron, I'm right here." She said irritably, now glaring down at him.

"Well, I can't really disagree with her," Harry said simply.

"Yeah, whatever. You guys are weird."

As we increasingly got tipsier the conversation veered from the serious to the ludicrous. They told me stories I had never heard; including the time that my friends and I had harassed Ron and Hermione near the Shrieking Shack and we had been chased away by some terrifying invisible force that apparently had been Harry all along. There were more than a few stories of me being tricked by Harry and his friends without me knowing about it. "And yet I'm the bad guy," was how I responded to each tale. When the stars started to dot the sky and the moon began to rise, Hermione decided it was best that we head to bed.

I doused the fire as we all wobbled to our feet, a little lost for balance. We exchanged a few good nights before hunkering down in our respective tents. A single large cot rested inside our expansive tent. Sheets and pillows already waited in it for us. Harry glanced over at me and smirked. Just as he opened his mouth to undeniably say something ridiculous we heard Ron and Hermione giggling in the tent opposite. Harry rolled his eyes, "Oi, 'mione, did you forget _muffliato_?"

She shushed Ron and laughed mildly, "Sorry 'bout that. My bad. I'm on it. You take care of your own tent."

Harry rolled his eyes and slipped his wand out to cast the charm over our own tent. "There, no need to hear what they're doing or what we're going to do." He said simply as he walked closer to me with a devious smile.

"Oh, and what exactly are we going to do?"

"Well," He crooned as he slowly pulled me closer with his hands around my wrists. "Why don't we play truth or dare and find out?"

* * *

 _A/N: Aside from the songs mentioned in the story itself, their road trip playlist also featured the following: Dancing Queen - ABBA, Come on Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners, Old Time Rock & Roll - Bob Seger, Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield, Africa - Toto, Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran, Hitchin A Ride - Green Day, Dream On - Aerosmith, The Boys Are Back In Town - Thin Lizzy, Baba O'Riley - The Who, Sabotage - Beastie Boys, You Really Got Me - The Kinks, and Paint It Black - the Rolling Stones (reluctantly put there for Ron's sake)._

 _Also, my sincerest apologies, but I need to take another short break from fanfiction for awhile. I'm not sure how long it will be, but I can pretty confidently say that I'll be back before Thanksgiving._


	28. Harry's Celebration

September 7th, 2002

I slowly stretched in bed, my foot hitting Draco's shin. He grumbled, but didn't move away. I slowly sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. I looked down at him. He was lying on his side, his hair brushed over his eyes. He looked so peaceful and relaxed. It looked so odd on his face, but I loved it. I brushed the hair out of his eyes and leaned down to kiss his forehead. He didn't wake or shift. I snickered and kissed his nose and his cheek, murmuring between each kiss, "Draco, Draco,"

He grumbled, "Mmm, what?"

"It's time to get up." I muttered as I hovered over him.

"No it isn't, it's the weekend. I don't have to get up yet," He insisted.

"Yes you do," I argued as I nudged him over onto his back.

"Haaarrryyy," He whined pathetically.

"Dracooooo,"

He groaned and let his eyes slowly open, looking up at me, "Why do you have to wake me up?"

"I had to tell you something important."

"Spit it out then."

"Happy anniversary," I whispered.

He grinned, "Oh, right, of course. Happy anniversary, love." He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close enough for him to kiss me. "So, what plans did you have for us today? You've kept it under wraps long enough." He asked when he eventually let me go.

"Get dressed and we can go."

"You realize that didn't really answer my question, right?"

"That's kind of the point," I reminded him with a smirk before rolling out of bed. "Come on, up and dressed."

He whined some more before finally getting up and heading over to the closet. I was already pulling on my favorite jeans. "For once in your life you need to dress casually. Something you wouldn't mind getting slightly damaged." I explained as I picked up my red shirt from the floor and pulled it on. He just rolled his eyes and stared at the interior of the closet blankly. I reached past him and grabbed a plain gray shirt I had bought as a mild luxury for myself. "Just wear this and jeans."

"So ordinary," He sighed as he slipped into shirt and put on jeans. "There, happy?"

"Yes, you ready?"

"Will you tell me where you're taking us?" He persisted.

"Nope, you just have to trust me." I held out my arm to him, offering for him to side along with me. He sighed but ultimately grabbed my arm, showing his trust in me. I spun on the spot and we apparated straight out of our room. Our feet touched down again in the crisp outdoors, far from our home in London.

"Where are we exactly?" Draco asked curiously as he shifted his arm so that he was holding my hand.

"This is the woods that I came to exactly one year ago, when I needed to clear my head and make one of the more important decisions of my life," I explained as we walked through the small scattering of leaves across the ground.

"This is where you were when I woke that morning to find you gone?" Draco asked.

I nodded slowly, "It was the first place I thought of that was at least slightly peaceful, and far away from everyone. I think I was out here for at least a couple of hours. It took forever to make up my mind."

"How did you come to that decision anyway?" Draco asked curiously as we started to march up a hill.

"I had to rule out logic. You weren't a logical decision. It was purely based on my emotion."

"I hate to break it to you, Harry, but you've never been the best at making logical choices," Draco pointed out.

"Oh shut up," I rolled my eyes. "You're so rude. I'm trying to be romantic here and you're ruining it."

"Sorry, I just can't help making fun of you."

"Oddly, I've noticed." I remarked dryly, "I wanted to take you here. I wanted you to see how beautiful it is here in the fall." We made it to the top of the hill, the same one I had stood upon a year ago. The terrain had hardly changed. It was a curious thing. The place itself was almost unchanged, but I was a totally different person with a completely different life than the one I had lead only one year ago.

"And here I thought you were going to take me out to some fancy brunch," Draco commented with a little laugh.

"That's your style, not mine."

"Oh, right, you play toward nostalgia more than anything else. I play to impress."

"Very true," I agreed, "But, I thought we might do more than watch the leaves change."

"What did you have in mind?" He asked.

"It's just down there," I gestured to the trees below. "Want to go see it?"

"Something tells me it's just a tree you sat under while wanking to the thought of me," Draco quipped. I let go of his hand long enough to punch his arm gently.

"No, it's not that," I said with a roll of my eyes before leading him down the hill and through the thick of trees. We walked quietly, side by side. In a short amount of time we approached a pool of water in the midst of the woods. I didn't say a word. I knelt beside the water, slipped my wand out of my pocket, and murmured a spell under my breath as my wand grazed across the surface. The spell sent a glimmering ripple through the water. I dipped my hand into the water and sure enough it had shifted from an icy temperature to a more mild one. It was neither excessively cool or warm, but somewhere in between. I set my wand down on the grass beside me and stood again to remove my shirt.

"Aren't you worried someone might wander past?" Draco asked curiously.

"Not particularly, no. Even if they do, they'll just see men swimming. They won't be able to tell we're naked. The water's too dark." I explained as I slipped out of the remainder of my clothes. I didn't even glance his way before diving straight into the water. It wasn't as if we hadn't gone swimming in the nude before, though it had been ages. It had been a lifetime ago, or so it seemed.

I popped back out of the water and laughed as I realized I still had my glasses on. I could just barely see him through the water droplets covering the lens. Draco was half naked now and quickly followed me in. As he sunk under the water I swam back to the edge of the pool and grabbed my wand one last time to enchant our clothes. If a stranger happened upon us and saw underwear lying in the grass by the pool it certainly would be easy to come to the conclusion of what we were really up to. I magicked half of our clothes invisible and left the rest in plain sight. The last thing we needed was to lose our clothes because we couldn't see them. I took off my glasses and left them resting on my shirt.

"How did you know about this little spot anyway?" Draco asked as he came out of the water. I turned to face him and immediately started laughing. His hair had slicked back and he looked just like he had first year.

"What are you snickering at?" He asked irritably.

I swam over and treaded beside him in the middle of the pool. "You look like your eleven year old self with your hair slicked back. It's kind of hysterical."

He frowned and ducked under the water for a few seconds. He popped his head back up and forced his hair to flop over his face. It looked even worse. I kept giggling at him as I pushed it out of his face for him. "Face it, it will look a mess no matter what you do."

"That's supposed to be your problem not mine. I'm supposed to be the one with flawless hair."

"I don't know if you've ever happened to see what you look like after babysitting Teddy for a weekend, but your hair ends up being far from perfect."

"As a general rule, however, I'm the one that's usually so put together."

"Are you trying to say I usually look like a mess?"

"A beautiful, hot mess." He agreed with a smirk.

I had no choice but to splash him with a spray of water for the comment. He gasped in surprise and sputtered as the water cascaded across his skin. "Oh, so that's how it's going to be?" He taunted before sending arching his arm through the air and splashing a wave of water my way. A war inevitably broke out. We only gave in several minutes later when it became hard to breathe from the exertion.

"Stop, seriously," I panted as another wave hit me. "I've drowned in this pond once before. I don't fancy doing it again."

This stopped him in his tracks, "What?"

"Oh, that time it was the locket that nearly killed me. I was stupid and dived in with it on my neck. Never said I was smart." I swam to the shallow end of the pond and let myself breathe properly again as I stood in the soft silt at the bottom of the pond.

Draco shook his head before swimming over to me, "What is it with you and every single place having significance? Can no place be new to you?"

"Oh, hush," I complained as I caught my breath.

He sighed as he floated onto his back not far from me. I couldn't help but snicker, "Draco, you were so worried about people seeing us and now you're floating naked belly up in a pond?"

"Yup," He said calmly as he floated. "What else can we do in here besides splash and float about, Harry?"

"Bored already? Am I not entertaining enough for you?"

"No, it's not that. But there's nothing we're doing here that we can't be doing at home at this point. You're breathing, I'm just laying here."

"You're so whiny," I rolled my eyes as I tried to come up with ways to keep him busy, "Well, aside from having sex there is one thing we could do."

He laughed, "We're not having sex out here."

"Why not? We're already naked."

"Because people will see us."

"Like it's any worse than someone seeing you naked. Naked and fucking is not very different from naked and not fucking. It's _barely_ less scandalous," I argued.

He rolled his eyes, "Oh, if you insist. But later, later. What were you going to suggest other than that?"

"There's this game I played with a couple of friends in primary school when I was little. It's actually very fun."

"You have my interest, how do you play?" He asked as he shut his eyes to the sky above and floated past me. I smirked and took a couple steps toward him. I hooked my arms underneath him and pulled him toward me. He gasped in surprise and held onto me, "What are you doing?"

"This is part of the game," I explained as I held him up in my arms bridal style. "I'm going to have to change it a bit to suit you better though. Okay, I know. I'm thinking of a spell, guess which one it is."

"I — what?"

"Just go ahead, say a random spell. You'll see how it works pretty quickly."

"Um — _alohomora_?"

"Wrong!" I said simply, lowering my arms and dunking his head below water.

He sputtered and spit water out of his face as I pulled him back up, "You call that a bloody game?"

"Yes, yes I do. Now, guess again."

"Merlin, this is ridiculous," He complained, "How am I supposed to know what you're thinking?"

"Take a wild guess," I suggested.

He smirked, "Let me guess, _expelliarmus_."

I frowned, "I don't know how you figured that out so quickly, but okay." I flipped him heels over head with a toss of my arms. He splashed into the water for a minute before popping back up. He shook his hair out and pushed it back out of his eyes. "That is such a ridiculous game," He said it as if he was annoyed, but he was smiling.

"You can get your revenge on me if you like, it's my turn." I offered.

He cocked an eyebrow for a second, "This might not be so ridiculous after all." I reached out and wrapped an arm around his shoulders and easily fell into his outstretched arms in the water.

"Alright, I'm thinking of a potion. Take a guess."

"Polyjuice?"

"We don't all drink polyjuice as much as you have, Harry. Wrong." He shook his head in disappointment and tipped me back into the water. I was just barely able to shut my mouth and eyes before being submerged for a moment or two. I shook my head free of the water as I came back up, "A little warning next time."

"You didn't warn me either."

"Touche," I sighed as I tried to think of another potion of some significance to us, but particularly to him. I grinned and looked up at him. It was weird to be held by him like this. I doubted it would ever happen again, but I liked it. "It's not Felix Felicis is it?"

He rolled his eyes so much they seemed to almost roll into the back of his head, "Do you really have to rub that in right now? Wrong!" He dunked me under the water briefly before pulling me back up.

"Sleeping draught then?"

"Harry, no." He shook his head as I went under the water again.

I didn't bother opening my eyes this time, "Amortentia?"

He laughed and tipped me back, "Wrong again."

I groaned in frustration as I came back up, "Why are you making this so difficult?"

"The answer is not nearly as difficult as you're making it, it's really obvious."

"Wolfsbane?"

"No,"

"Just tell me already."

"You going to quit?"

"Yes, I'm not going to get it," I was getting increasingly frustrated and pouty about the whole situation. I hated that I couldn't figure it out right away when he guessed mine so quickly.

"Alright, but if you forfeit I'm tossing you in."

"Just tell me."

"Pepperup potion," He said quickly before throwing me backwards into the water. I fell deep into the pond and sprang back up almost immediately. I splashed him one more time, "Pepperup? Really? Are you kidding me?"

He just kept laughing as I splashed him angrily, "Oh calm down, Harry."

"No, how'd you guess mine so damn quickly?" I pouted with my arms crossed.

He sighed, "Love, I was a death eater. Everyone knew your favorite spell was _expelliarmus_. It's what gave you away every time."

I sighed and shook my head, "Seriously? I'm that obvious?"

"I'm sorry. But yes, you are kind of predictable in that regard." Draco confessed. "Are you going to keep to be cranky about it?"

I huffed, my arms still folded tight across my body, "Maybe. I don't know."

"Would it make you feel better to just throw me into the water a few times?" He offered as he stepped closer toward me. He gently unwound my arms from each other.

"Maybe," I admitted as I held my arms out. He climbed right in.

"Wait, hang on," He said as he put his arms around my neck and I held him close. "I just want to appreciate this for a moment. I like seeing you like this."

"What do you mean?"

He pushed my hair out of my face and smiled sweetly, "You just look so handsome. I like being held by you. It's kind of nice. I never get to see you from this angle. I always looked up to you, but never literally."

"Oh stop, you're just trying to butter me up so I don't toss you."

"No I'm not. I mean it. You just look so goddamn beautiful right now," He murmured. "You can toss me in a minute. Just let me have my moment." He requested as he stared at me. I had caught him looking at me this way a couple of times. As if I was a rare celestial occurrence, an eclipse he could not look away from. He smiled and sighed softly, "Okay, go ahead and throw me in if you like. I can die happy now."

"You're so cheesy," I shook my head at him, trying to ignore how sweet he was being.

"And you're blushing," He pointed out before leaning up and kissing my cheek. "Are you going to throw me in headfirst or not?"

"Well, if you insist." And without a moment to spare I launched him straight back into the water. He popped back up and I immediately moved over to him. He blinked his eyes open and smirked when he realized I had found myself back to him, "Come back for more have you?"

"Shut up," I murmured before pressing my body against him and kissing him hard.

He returned the favor but pulled away fairly quickly, "Just couldn't resist anymore?"

"Not when you look at me like that," I admitted with a whisper, "And look who's suddenly okay with fooling around in public?"

He shrugged, "We'll just _obliviate_ whoever happens upon us. If anyone does. I kind of doubt it. And frankly, it's really hard to resist when you're hard on's pressed against my thigh."

I smirked, "I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm really not." And before it could evolve into a full blown conversation I kissed him again. He didn't pull away this time. Our limbs intertwined and we seemed to barely be breathing. Unfortunately, we soon realized that despite the fact that we were in the water, we were getting drier and drier in the most uncomfortable way. When I happened to reach through the water and wrap my hand around his length, he pulled away and shook his head, "This isn't going to work."

I let go and slowly unwound from him, "How the fuck did we manage this before?"

"Magic water? I don't know, but we can't fuck in this. I don't fancy chafing into oblivion. But I have a plan," He said before swimming a few feet over to the edge of the pond. I followed him dutifully, excited for whatever he had in mind. I pulled myself out of the water and as soon as I was standing straight he grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him. I stumbled blindly, my vision still totally blurred without my glasses. I could just make out his figure ahead of me, holding onto my hand tight. But I had no idea where we were going, and I could barely see around me. I was half convinced I was going to trip on something I couldn't see and fall flat to my face and effectively kill the mood. But before such an occurrence could happen he stopped and used the momentum of his grip on my hand to pull me around in a half circle. I faced him and could just make out his face and the black blur of the pond behind us that was still recovering from our departure.

He kissed me for a moment, but before I could really think much of it he put his hand on my chest and pushed me back into a thick tree. I gasped at the shock of the rough bark scratching my skin. Draco was pressed into me again almost immediately, his lips pressing down over me hard. His hand wrapped around my thigh and pulled my leg up around his hip. His hand crept further, his nails dragging up the back of my thigh and over my ass. He pressed a fingertip against my opening. I bit his lip, letting go only to whisper, "Get in me,"

He smirked, tipping his head back away from me. His gaze was less of the admiration he had exhibited earlier and far more lustful. As he eyed me over, his hand continued to work its magic as it rubbed against the sensitive skin just outside of my entrance. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I kept my eyes on his as I spoke, "Please."

"If you think that begging is going to help you, you're wrong," He assured me as he continued to toy with me. "You have to learn to be patient once in awhile. I'll fuck you when I want to fuck you."

"Why do you have to decide to be a tease at the worst possible moment?"

"Because it's more fun that way," He smirked before leaning in and kissing along my neck. He slipped his finger into me just as he bit down on my flesh. I bit down on my lip, trying to suppress any noise that I instinctively wanted to make. I had a feeling nobody was around, but the last thing I needed was to moan and have someone far enough away to hear us and investigate. Some innocent overly active grandmother might think someone young man was being mauled by a bear and come to help. That was the last thing I needed, so I tried to keep myself quiet. The thrill of knowing that we could be caught along with the energy it took to keep myself quiet was exciting in and of itself.

He continued to frustrate me, fingering me instead of actually fucking me. My breaths were growing more and more rapid, sweat beaded on my skin. I tightened my grip on him, my leg like a vice around his hip and my arms entangled around him. He finally relented and slipped his hand away from me. He pulled back and smiled at me, "Sufficiently frustrated?"

"Just a bit."

"Well, you've been nice and patient so you ought to be rewarded," Draco conceded. He kissed me once, an unbearably tender kiss. It didn't last long before he pulled away and angled his length close to me. His eyes shifted to me and he smirked a bit as he pushed into me. It stung but it felt too good for me to care much. I bit down on my lip again, but he seemed to misunderstand the meaning behind this. Rather than thrusting into me as I expected him to, he hesitated, "Are you alright?" He asked cautiously.

"Yeah," I murmured, "Sorry, I'm just trying not to make much noise."

His smile returned. "Good luck with that then," He muttered before he started to press into me. He was steady at first, cautious almost. But when he seemed to find his rhythm he began ramming into me hard enough for my back to grind against the rough bark of the tree. I already knew that it was going to be covered in scratches later. I let my eyes shut and tipped my head back against the tree. I felt all my nerves stand on end as he fucked me. I was fine tuned to my sense of hearing, trying to detect any sound that might alert me to an interruption. I never considered myself particularly loud when we had sex, but suddenly not being able to make any noise at all was almost impossible. I wanted to moan, groan, call out his name, anything. But I knew I couldn't. Somehow this forced silence only made it more thrilling. All I could hear was our bodies slamming together and the occasional chirping of a bird or two in the distance.

As I got closer and closer to my climax, I couldn't help but let a sound slip out of me. I whimpered and I heard him snicker at it. I knew he was enjoying himself so much to see me squirm under him, futilely resisting the urge to use my vocal chords. Finally, however, I couldn't help it. He had been relentlessly hitting against my sweet spot and my body was weak. My muscles tensed and trembled from the strain of being in an odd position. My throat betrayed me and let a moan slip out as I bucked my hips in orgasm. It rocked through my body and caused me to tighten around Draco. I whined as he continued to thrust into me a bit longer until he reached his own peak and filled me up. We were both panting, sweating messes. He slowly slipped out of me with a soft sigh. I let my leg fall back to the ground. My feet were cold and I hadn't even noticed until that moment. We slowly separated our bodies from one another. I continued to rest against the trunk of the tree.

"Goddamn," I whispered as I watched him retrieve his wand from the forest floor. "Well done, Draco. Well. Done."

He smirked and laughed a bit as he revealed our clothes nearby. He gingerly pulled his own clothes on, tossing mine over toward me. I redressed myself obediently. I slipped my shoes on and murmured, "As hot as that was, I'm fucking freezing now."

"I know, I had something in mind," He assured me. He stepped toward me and held his arm out to me. I didn't even ask. I just took a hold of him and let him apparate us out of the woods. We landed in the middle of our living room.

He turned and gently pushed me back onto the couch. I fell back easily, sighing as I did. He started a fire in the hearth and grabbed a blanket from the hall closet. He fell onto the couch beside me and draped the massive, soft blanket over us. The Malfoy family crest was emblazoned on it. His mother had had it made for him when he was young. It was still the first blanket he would grab if he ever needed one. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I immediately leaned into him, nuzzling against his chest as we laid back. It was only one in the afternoon. But I was safe, warm, and comfortable. I could hear his heart beating in his chest. It lulled me to sleep.

* * *

 _A/N: I'm no longer going to be updating a chapter a day as I once did (for those that have been around that long - also, for those that have been reading this since late September or early October I want you to know that I love you very much) but I will try and drop a chapter a week. I'll even make you the hope of publishing a chapter each Tuesday. I'm going to try and stick to my word on that, feel free to bitch at me if I don't. I won't mind._


	29. Draco's History Lesson

November 2002

It was supposed to be a normal day. Just a casual stroll into town for a lunch together on a pleasant Saturday. For once it was nice outside, despite being the middle of November. We were walking through the middle of London, on our way to a nice little nook we had found over the summer. Again, it was _supposed_ to be a lovely Saturday lunch. We walked side by side down the sidewalk. We had learned to not hold hands in public, though we still walked close together. I don't remember what we were talking about at the time. It surely wasn't important. We were just minding our own business. We were about halfway there when Harry suddenly looked up, stared ahead, and smirked to himself. He didn't say anything at first. As we approached a bus stop, he stopped us and turned toward an older couple that were waiting for their bus. I cast him a curious glance as he suddenly started talking to them.

"Hello, how have you two been?" He asked them.

The man tensed and cast a withering glance toward Harry. "What are you doing 'round these parts, boy?"

Only then did it dawn on me that Harry somehow knew these people. They appeared to be muggles. The woman beside the man had an incredibly long face, not unlike a horse. She curled her lip at Harry, "You just _had_ to come and bother us on our holiday, didn't you?"

"I live here actually. If anything, I should be accusing you of trying to ruin my weekend."

"Always shifting the blame onto others. Clearly some things never change." The woman commented dryly. She cast a look at me then, trying to assess who I was and why I was hearing their conversation. I had not spoken a word, but she appeared to already dislike me.

"Oh," Harry said as he noticed her glance my way, "Petunia, Vernon, this is my boyfriend, Draco. Draco, this is my aunt and uncle."

Both of them reeled when he said the word boyfriend. They looked completely repulsed. Petunia rolled her eyes slightly, though I couldn't figure out why she would. I had heard him mention his aunt and uncle briefly in the past, explaining that that was who he lived with his whole life. He had vaguely mentioned they were rotten people. Standing there, being looked upon as if I were scum by them, made it clear that he had not been exaggerating.

"Where's Dudley?" Harry asked to break the growing silence.

"As if you care," Vernon scoffed. "You're just aching to torture him with your tricks, aren't you?"

"Hardly. I was simply asking a question."

"For your information," Petunia chimed in, "He's teaching just over in Becontree."

"Really? Teaching?" Harry was clearly surprised.

"Yes, is it so hard to believe?" She scoffed.

"No, just surprising is all. Tell him I hope he's doing well."

"We'll do no such thing. He's happier without you in his life," Petunia hissed.

"Pretty sure _I_ wasn't the one worsening his quality of life," Harry said defensively.

"Like hell you weren't," Vernon scoffed, "Having your freaky friends give him a pig's tail and making him eat sweets that made his tongue the size of a car. All in a day's work for Harry Potter, of course. He hasn't had a good day until he's made someone else miserable."

It was obvious to me that Harry was getting very agitated by their unkind words. A muscle near his eye twitched when Vernon spoke. He looked ready to spit fire. I took the opportunity to interject, "You know, it's been lovely to meet you two, but I'm afraid we must be going. I'm sure you have to be on your way anyway. Have a lovely holiday." I rested a hand on Harry's shoulder and moved us away from them. They said no parting words to us. I don't believe they even watched us go. I'm certain they just stood there and continued to wait for their bus. We walked a few meters away before we spoke again.

"Care to explain what that was all about?" I asked.

"Remember how I told you my aunt and uncle were terrible to me? I wasn't joking."

"I didn't realize they were so bad. You said they were terrible muggles. I just assumed that they were as stupid as all the other muggles."

"No, they're a special breed of awful," Harry explained with a sigh.

"What exactly did they do to you?"

"Let's wait til we're at lunch. I'm going to need a beer to talk about it."

I nodded and patiently waited as we walked on in relative silence. We finally sat down in our preferred booth in the back of the muggle pub we frequented. Nobody bothered to take our order, they knew we always got the same thing. A young blonde woman brought Harry a beer and winked at him. She was new here. Harry wouldn't dissuade her until she tried to push her number into his hand. The first time it had happened it had lead to a long conversation with Harry about what telephones and phone numbers were. Since then, it had happened on at least three different occasions. Once the woman left us alone, he took a sip from his bottle, and put it down in front of himself with a sigh. I didn't speak. I knew he would tell me sooner or later.

"When my mum died to save me from Tom," He murmured softly to not be overheard, "It protected me immediately, which is why the killing curse didn't work on me. Old magic. Dumbledore reasoned that putting me with my maternal family would extend that protection to me. Unfortunately, all of my grandparents died beforehand and I ended up living with my mother's sister, Petunia, and her husband and son. I wanted to live with the Weasleys for years, but Dumbledore knew I had to call it home for the protection to continue. The enchantment was broken once I became of age, hence why the Order protected me while I was under the trace and we tried to flee."

"So you were forced to live with those people?"

He took a swig of beer before replying, "Yes."

"What did they do to you?"

He sighed, "It's not like they beat me or anything. I recognize that I haven't had it as bad as many others have. But they certainly weren't loving family members. Dudley bullied me a lot and they more or less encouraged him to do it. I didn't really own anything of my own, everything was a hand me down from Dudley. That's all besides the fact that they rarely fed me and literally shoved me in a closet."

"You're fucking kidding. You lived in a closet?"

"A closet under the stairs, yes."

"I mean, I remember Ron mentioning it but I assumed he didn't mean it literally." I explained with a sigh. The waitress came back and put our food down. She put another bottle of beer down for Harry with another wink and said, "It's on the house." I rolled my eyes at this, but otherwise ignored it. She carried on, but I found myself unable to eat my food. How could I eat when all I could think about was the fact that the love of my life had spent the better part of his childhood in a closet while I had been spoiled. I suddenly remembered the day we first arrived at Hogwarts, how he had rejected me. My memory of it was very clear:

 _Everyone had been talking about it on the train. Sure enough, Harry Potter was in our class. I stood at the top of the steps before the Great Hall and glanced around, ignoring the stern witch's speech. I spotted him quickly. His hair was conveniently parted to show his scar. I wondered if he was trying to get attention with it. He probably was. I knew I would if I were him. As soon as the witch left us there on the stairs I confronted him. He was the most notorious kid in the room. If I was his friend, there was no telling what we might accomplish together. He certainly would better my reputation more than Crabbe or Goyle could. But the damn Weasley kid interrupted me with his snickering, so I put him in his place. I hated those gingers. The whole lot of them were nothing but blood traitors according to my father. But when I looked back at Harry his curiosity had shifted into something colder._

" _I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself thanks."_

 _Never in my life had anyone turned me down so callously. I would make him regret not choosing me. I would make him feel the same kind of humiliation I had felt when he had turned me down._

But with this new information I was able to understand it from a different lens. This boy was not the big headed idol with a famous name I had assumed him to be. He was a boy who had never known magic until then, despite his legacy. This was a boy who had been pestered for ten years with family that hated him. He had grown up without much love. No doubt getting to go to Hogwarts was a dream come true for him, not simply an expected part of his life like it was for me. In the very least, it was a way to escape his horrendous family. At best, it was an opportunity for him to be happy. And what did I do to convince this boy to like me, to be my friend? Insult another boy in front of him. In front of Harry Potter, who had been at the receiving end more times than he would probably admit to. Of course he had rejected me. To him I was surely a stuck up brat who was rude and not worth his time.

"Draco?" He asked curiously.

I blinked and regained a sense of my surroundings. His food was half gone. His first beer empty and his second one was half empty. I stared down at my food, unable to look at him now. It was probably cold. I didn't want it anymore. I gently nudged it aside.

"Everything okay?" He asked gently, sensing something was dramatically different.

"What was your cousin like?"

"Dudley? Oh, he was a pretty nasty bloke when we were growing up. He and his friends tossed me around like a punching bag a lot. Once in awhile I got back at them with my magic, unintentionally of course. I once trapped Dudley in a zoo exhibit." I could practically hear the smile in his voice, though I couldn't see it. "He got better as he got older though, especially after I saved him from a dementor."

"You what?"

"I forget that there are things you don't know about my life," He commented, "Yeah. I nearly got expelled for casting the patronus charm, but Dumbledore helped me get out of it. That was just before fifth year. Dudley was much better after that. Went so far as to say something halfway decent to me when we left the house." He sighed softly before continuing on with his meal. He didn't tell me to eat mine, correctly assuming I wouldn't eat it even if he wanted me to.

I still couldn't look at him just yet. My face was burning. "I must have reminded you of him when we first met."

"What?"

"At Hogwarts," I clarified needlessly.

"I mean, yeah, quite a bit actually. You were a stereotypical school bully."

It hurt to hear, but I knew it was the truth. I glanced over and saw the waitress glancing our way. When she realized I had caught her looking, her eyes widened and she quickly looked away and scurried out of sight. She was going to leave her number for him, most likely. Even in the muggle world he got all of the attention.

"Alright, fess up," Harry sighed.

"To what?" I asked.

"Tell me what's wrong." It was not a question.

"I finally understand why you hated me so much."

"Was it really that hard to figure out?" He asked, nudging his empty plate out of the way as he leaned forward on the table toward me. The waitress seemed to reappear from thin air and picked up our plates for us, boxing my untouched food up for me. She left the bills on the table with a great smile plastered on her mouth. As always, it was two separate bills. Harry quietly placed muggle notes on each one. He always paid for us. He had more muggle money than me. I never liked converting it. It was too much of a hassle.

"Did you forget how mean you used to be?" Harry added once we were left alone.

"No, I — I was only mean because I was trying to hurt you like you hurt me on that first day at Hogwarts. All the hatred was based totally on that one encounter."

"So if I had agreed to be your friend you would have been less of an ass?"

"To you anyway."

"See, that's why I didn't agree to be your friend that day, because you only gave special treatment to people that worship you. I saw that right away. You would never have given the time of day to Ron, who was already fast becoming my friend at that point. A friendship between you and I would either have ended with me getting fed up and being friends with Ron anyway, or you getting over yourself sooner."

"Thank you," The waitress said as she swooped over again. I jumped a bit in surprise. I was starting to suspect she was actually a witch apparating repeatedly. "Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare ya," She said with a saccharine smile as she touched my shoulder. I wanted to puke and I hadn't eaten a thing.

"Oh, here," Harry added another note to the stack before she could pick it up. He always tipped handsomely. Unsurprisingly, she was overly delighted. She thanked him profusely and before she took the money she pulled a pen and pad out of her apron and jotted her number down. He tried to wave it off, but she insisted and left it on the table before leaving with the money. As soon as she was gone he sighed. He pushed the scrap of paper aside and ignored it.

"Let's go," I muttered. I didn't wait for him. I stood and headed for the door. He managed to keep up with me anyway.

"Draco, what are you thinking about right now?" He asked as he walked beside me down the street. A glance in his direction showed his concern.

"That you had every right to hate me and it's no wonder I don't have any friends."

"Woah, woah, let's rethink that claim for a moment." He reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. He turned me to face him in the middle of the sidewalk. A few people grumbled and walked around us. He either didn't notice or didn't give a shit. "You have friends. Ron and Hermione are your friends now."

"No they aren't."

"Yes, they are. Hermione helped you watch after Teddy and Ron called you his friend. Would you like more evidence than that?"

"No. I just — they don't feel like my friends. That's not the real problem anyway."

"Then what is?"

"I — I'm sorry. You didn't deserve my bullshit. You had already been through so much when you met me. I had no idea. I was stuck in my own narrow frame of mind and knew no better. Even if I had, I don't know if I would have acted any differently that day. I know I've already apologized for it,"

"Multiple times," He interrupted briefly.

"But I'm so sorry. I don't know how you got over it, how you looked past all that crap."

"Because when I came to you three years later you were a totally different person. You are a changed man. It is _that_ man that I fell in love with, not the childish boy who bullied me. I recognize that that is who you were, but you have to know that I don't see that side any more. You are so much better than that."

I sighed slowly and nodded. I turned to continue walking home. When we finally made it to our front door I couldn't help but ask as soon as we walked inside, "You said that there is a lot I don't know about your life. What pieces am I missing?"

"I don't know. You know all the important stuff: Riddle killed my parents, I lived with my shitty aunt and uncle, I went to school, I died, I killed Tom Riddle, and now I'm here. What else is there to tell?"

"Wait, you didn't actually die." I leaned against the entryway into the kitchen and crossed my arms. There was no way. He had faked it. I had seen it.

He frowned, "Er, yes. I did die. Not for long, but I did. By the time your mum came to see if I was actually dead I had come back. I thought you knew."

"How the fuck would I know? Mum said you were alive, I saw you jump out of Hagrid's arms. I assumed you just faked it and I had nothing to indicate otherwise."

"I thought it was obvious when the article ran in the _Prophet_. I said Voldemort had killed the horcrux in me himself."

"I didn't think that meant you died," I sighed and shook my head. He stood silent, waiting for me to react. I didn't believe it, but I also knew he would never lie to me about something like that. "What exactly happened?"

He leaned against the opposite wall and sighed, "He hit me with the killing curse. Next thing I know I seem to be waking up in King's Cross. Dumbledore was there. Told me I could return if I wanted. I knew there was work that still needed to be done, so I came back. It felt like I was gone a long time, but I really wasn't."

It took me several moments to process. It had felt terrible to think he was dead only to find out he was alive. The pain was easy enough to forget when I realized he was alive, and assumed he had been the whole time. But for a moment, I had actually lost him. He had actually been dead. No part of me had been aware of it, of course, but for at least a few seconds or minutes of my life, Harry was dead. It occurred to me how preposterously mortal we both were. The thought of him dying now was far worse than a numb sensation. It was more like my entire world collapsing in on itself.

I looked up at him. He was flesh and blood. He was standing there as if he hadn't defied death twice. I could tell that he didn't think it was as big of a deal as I was making it.

"Are you going to say anything?" He asked, not unkindly.

I let my hands fall to my sides and walked a step closer toward him. I didn't need to say anything, he knew just what I needed. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his hair as I held him tight to me. I murmured softly against his ear, "It just hurts to know that I really could have lost you forever, without ever having told you how much I loved you. Without me ever really knowing just how close we could become."

"I know."

"This was all just a lot of information to process in one day," I explained as I slowly let go of him and pulled away. "I had no idea how abused you were as a child. I had no idea you literally came back from the dead. It's really hard to feel worthy of your time, honestly."

"Well," He smirked, "I'll let you know if I ever get sick of your company."

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes.

"That's exactly how ridiculous you sound, you know that right? You will never be unworthy of my time. Shit, few people are."

I laughed, "That's true. You're too nice. How are you so nice after all the shit you've gone through? I do not understand that."

He shrugged, "Not sure. I probably get it from my mum. I've been told she was exceptionally k —" He stopped himself abruptly.

I frowned. His eyes wandered off into space and I could not read his expression, "Harry? Where'd you go?"

"Sorry," He muttered, blinking a couple of times before seeming to come back down as he looked at me. "I remembered something Remus said to me once. It — was just," He sighed as he struggled to speak. The words came out at a glacial speed, "A little eerie to think of."

"Well what was it?"

"Something about my mum having an unnerving habit of seeing the good in others when they couldn't see it themselves."

He didn't need to explain the relevance or the significance of it. I understood immediately. I couldn't help but silently thank his mother for passing on such a redeemable quality to her son. I wouldn't be where I was without his empathy and forgiveness. I smiled down at him warmly before kissing him sweetly.

He pulled back a moment later, "Question,"

"Hm?" I mumbled as I kissed down the side of his neck, unable to pull myself away from him just yet.

"Were you jealous of that woman at the pub?"

"No."

"You looked a bit disgruntled every time she came by though," Harry explained.

I sighed and stood up straight before him, "If anyone should be jealous it's her. The rest of the world might be infatuated and obsessed with you, but I'm the only one to have you."

He laughed, "Yeah, I'm all yours. Property of Draco Malfoy."

I couldn't help but smile at that, "Yes. Now, can you shut up long enough to let me snog you?"

"I think that can be arranged," He smiled before closing the space between us again.


	30. Harry's Knight

January 5th, 2003

I heard the door handle move and the click of it opening and without a beat of hesitation I stepped out of the kitchen and into the hall and faced Draco. I had been waiting anxiously for him to come home from work.

"There's been an incident," I said as soon as he was through the doorway.

He raised an eyebrow, "As in Reg got out of his cage and shat all over the house?"

I shook my head, "No, as in there's been a spike in dementor attacks in the area."

His eyes widened as he realized the severity of the situation, "What? Why?"

I shrugged, "We don't know. It tends to happen a lot in winter anyway, but it's been even worse lately. I spent all day clearing them out of the streets with Ron, but we can only push them around. There's no really destroying them."

"Where are they coming from?"

"They're created out of misery, magic and muggle alike. The more miserable people are, the more dementors there are. Which is why it's been so difficult to deal with. It was manageable up until now. They're appearing daily. You haven't seen any have you?"

"No, but there have been plenty of people coming into Mungo's for encounters. I just hadn't noticed how many there were. They don't really seem to be attacking anyone, but they're feeding a little off each one."

"Exactly, we've noticed the same thing," I confirmed. "But that's not my point."

"I know, I'll be careful out there."

"Draco, can you cast the patronus charm?" I cut straight to the point. When I had been in the streets today, clearing them off the wretched monsters, it dawned on me that Draco could just as easily be attacked as any other wizard who was unable to protect himself. The image of him losing all the progress he had made in himself as a person in these past few years because of one bad encounter with a dementor was almost too much to handle. It had been such a jarring split second thought that I had failed to cast my own patronus for the first time in years. I had managed to recover myself and carry on, but the thought had shaken me. When I had been waiting for him to come home all I could think about was the possibility of him getting attacked on the short walk home.

"I mean, I don't have to cast a patronus charm to scare them off do I? I could just —"

"It's really the only effective way, love. Can you or can't you?"

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. He stayed quiet for a moment as he walked past me to hang his coat up in the closet. He wandered into the kitchen and waved his wand absently with a mutter under his breath. Food flew from the pantry and refrigerator as he leaned against the counter, not lifting a finger. "No, I can't cast a patronus charm."

"Have you ever tried?"

"Once."

"When?"

"Seventh year."

"Why?"

"When _he_ would come by our home, a few dementors often came with him. Mum didn't want me to get any more dreary than I was at the time so she tried to teach me. I got a couple wisps, but not much. She tried to pry a happy memory out of me but I couldn't think of anything, nothing strong anyway. Hers was really powerful though," He smiled weakly at this, "A silver coyote stalked around us whenever they came."

Somehow it didn't surprise me that his mother was capable of casting a patronus. I suspected that her happy memory involved Draco himself. I'd been blessed to know Molly and I knew the devotion of my own mother, and Narcissa was not unlike them in her love for her child. I had figured out not long ago that the only reason I was lucky enough to be alive was because of the love of mothers. His smile diminished again and he glanced up at me, "I suppose this is the part where you insist on teaching me how to cast the patronus charm."

"You know me too well."

"I hate to say it, but you're really predictable Harry."

I shrugged, ignoring it. "Do you want to give it a try then?"

"I'm not sure if it will work," He argued.

"I'll make it worth your while," I grinned slyly as I spoke.

He smirked at this. He knew exactly what I meant. "I suppose if it means so much to you, I'll give it a try. But can it at least wait until after dinner?"

"Of course," I assured him.

* * *

I deliberately rushed through the meal. I was anxious to teach him.

"What was the memory you focused on the last time you tried to cast a patronus?" I asked as we finally moved into the living room. It was the only space big enough to practice.

He sighed and fiddled with his wand in his hand, "Sitting on my dad's shoulders and walking through the garden with him and mum when I was little."

"Why don't you give that a try?"

"It didn't work last time though," He argued.

"Humor me."

He sighed and shook his head. But nonetheless, he held up his wand and tried the spell out. Absolutely nothing happened, not even a glow at the end of his wand. He immediately let his hand fall to his side and shook his head again, "It isn't going to work, Harry."

I watched him for a minute. He already looked defeated and depressed. He had no faith in himself to do this. I moved over to him and without saying a word I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me. His muscles relaxed and he leaned into me. We stayed like this for a few minutes, just holding onto each other. I finally let go of him, but kept him close. I rested my hand on his jawline, my thumb grazing the fine, nearly invisible stubble on his face. "I know you can do this, Draco. I have faith in you, but that's only going to get you so far. You need to believe in yourself as well."

"You sound like a bad advertisement."

"I know, but it doesn't make it any less true."

He frowned a bit and looked at me curiously before asking, "What do you think of?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. You've got the strongest patronus of anyone, might as well share your secret if you're planning on teaching me."

I slowly let go of him and stepped away, trying to think out my answer. I leaned back against the end table by the couch. "I don't have one memory, really. There's a few that I call on. It's sort of instinctive. When I cast my first corporeal patronus I was thinking about Sirius telling me he wanted me to live with him. Other times I think about when I first found out I was a wizard. Memories of Hermione, Ron, and I. Not all of them are special or overjoyed, sometimes it's the simple memories that matter the most."

His expression softened. He had seemed rigid before, unwilling to try this at all. He didn't say anything. He turned away from me and lifted his wand. He let out a slow breath and shut his eyes momentarily. " _Expecto patronum_ ," He cast the spell with more strength in his voice than before. Sure enough, silver light burst forth from his wand and cast a mist about him. It was not corporeal, but it was getting somewhere. He opened his eyes and grinned at the sight of the spell spreading out. He let it fade and turned to me, beaming like a child. "Did you see that?"

I couldn't help but laugh a bit, "Yes I did. It's a great start. What were you thinking of?"

"I'll tell you later. I want to try a few different memories, see which one works best."

"Alright, go at it then." Again, he seemed to meditate briefly on a memory before casting the spell. The new memory had the same result as the first, and the third time as well. None of them were stronger or weaker than the last. After the third attempt he sighed and turned to me again, "I don't understand. Wouldn't some of them be stronger based on the memory?"

"Not necessarily. Part of it might have to do with the fact that you're not actively trying to defend anyone or yourself. Now, if I brought a real dementor in here and let it try and suck my soul out, it would probably be stronger. The only reason I was able to cast such a strong patronus when I was so young was because I was protecting Sirius at the time, and myself."

"Please don't tell me you're actually going to try and get yourself attacked by a dementor for the sake of me learning how to cast this spell."

"No, I'm not that stupid."

"Well that's a relief."

"So long as it produces something, you should be okay. Now," I said as I sauntered over toward him. I rested a hand on his waist and kept our bodies close. "I believe I promised you it would be worth your while to humor me with this little lesson."

"You did indeed," He smirked slightly before we kissed.

* * *

January 28th, 2003

"I'm not even that drunk," I slurred with an arm around Draco's shoulders. We had been out to dinner together and I had a pretty strong rum and coke before the food had even come. I still felt like I was mostly in control. My tongue seemed unhinged in my mouth and I had lost a little coordination, but I felt more or less mentally secure.

"You're drunk Harry," Draco rolled his eyes as he lead us through the streets to take us home. He found me relatively entertaining when I was drunk. I usually hit on him or just laughed at everything.

"Alright, so I'm a bit drunk, sue me."

"Maybe I will," He teased. I laughed at this even though it truly wasn't that funny. He joined in the laughter. The streets were oddly quiet.

We were about halfway there when the lights on the lamps above us dimmed and flickered. I didn't think much of it until several started going out completely. It was already cold out, but it suddenly intensified. My eyes widened. Even in my drunken state I knew the signs.

"Wand out," I muttered.

"Are you nuts? We're surrounded by Muggle flats and businesses. Someone will see."

"I'll deal with that later. This is —" It grabbed me from behind, cutting me off. I was thrown out of balance when the dementor yanked me back, and my wand clattered onto the pavement. The dementor's decaying dead hand gripped my shoulder, forcing my spine to bend backward and my head to tip back. My feet miraculously stayed glued to the ground as I was held in the uncomfortable angle. I was stuck in the limbo between falling and standing. I felt utterly helpless and hopeless as the monster began sucking the life from me. My mother screamed. Sirius slowly fell back into the misty curtain. The bodies of my classmates and loved ones were strewn across the Great Hall. Dumbledore fell from the astronomy tower. Dobby was dead in my arms. Cedric's cold body lay limp beside me. Hedwig's cage plummeting to the ground hundreds of feet below, her dead body still stuck inside. I had no real sense of my surroundings. All I could see was the pain and the death. It seemed to last for ages, and I began to succumb to it. I could feel darkness clouding around me, my consciousness starting to slip away.

My father screamed. Which was rather odd because I had never remembered him screaming before. In fact, I was certain he hadn't screamed before he died. Suddenly, my mind was flooded rapidly with intense happiness. Mum and Dad talking to me. Catching the letter falling through the air. A Quidditch victory. Ron and Hermione laughing. Draco.

I fell hard to the pavement. The visions vanished. The world was dark, but I was still conscious. I shook my head and realized the world still seemed dark because my eyes were closed. I slowly opened them and saw Draco standing before me. He fell to his knees beside me, cradling my face in his hands, "Harry, Harry, are you alright?"

"I — yes. Where did it go?" I realized that the dementor could still be nearby and grabbed my wand not far from my side.

"It's gone, it's gone. We're safe. Oh Merlin," He was practically hyperventilating as he threw his arms around me and held me close. "I thought you were done for. You kept shaking and gasping for air. I couldn't get the spell to work right away and I started to panic."

"You chased it off?" I asked as I slowly pulled away and had him help me to my feet.

"Yes, didn't you see it?"

"No, I couldn't see anything but what was in my head."

He sighed, "Well, it doesn't matter. You're safe. Come on, I'm taking us home before it gets any notion to come back." He took my hand and pulled us into a nearby alleyway. He turned suddenly on his heel and apparated us home. The spinning was too much for me. I scrambled from the living room where we landed and into the kitchen. I sputtered and gagged into the sink, retching up my meal from earlier in the night. It didn't take long for my body to empty itself. I tried not to look at the mess as I waved my wand over it, " _Scourgify_ ,"

I filled a glass with water and slowly sat down right on the floor. The world wasn't spinning anymore, but standing felt unbearable. Draco stepped in and headed for his medicine cabinet. He sat down beside me and handed me a small leaf, "It'll help." I didn't question it. I chewed the leaf up and swallowed it. My stomach almost immediately settled.

"I'm sorry. Drunkenness and apparition don't mix. I wasn't really thinking straight," Draco apologized.

"Love, you never think straight. You're the gayest man I've ever met." I smirked at my own quip.

He didn't find this amusing. He stared at me for a moment and shook his head, "How can you be cracking jokes after what just happened?"

I frowned and drank my water. "I'm in a weirdly good mood right now."

"How can you be?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"I think your patronus went right through me. It filled me with so much joy." I grinned just thinking of it. "I saw my sweetest memories in a matter of seconds. Although, clearing my stomach probably helped cheer me up too." I paused to drink. But a thought struck me. I put my glass back down and looked at Draco, "You must have used a powerful memory to cast such a strong patronus."

He sighed, "I watched it try and suck the life out of you and I panicked. The first memory that came to mind was of beating you in Quidditch. It obviously wasn't good enough. I realized how dire the situation was and how desperately I needed you to survive. So I thought of the day you came back to me. The day you chose me. That did the trick. Giant burst of light crashed into it and it screeched and fled."

I wasn't surprised, though I was immensely flattered. I kissed his cheek. "Thank you for rescuing me," I murmured as I curled close to him. His arm wrapped around me and kept me close, though he didn't speak. A few moments of sweet silence passed before it dawned on me to ask, "Did your patronus take a form?"

"Yes,"

"What was it?" I asked eagerly, sitting up again to look at him.

His cheeks tinted pink as he smiled, "You're going to laugh."

"It wasn't a stag was it?"

"Oh Merlin. Of course not."

I snickered, "A mouse?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"A ferret?"

His eyes rolled into the back of his head. "No, it wasn't a ferret. It was much bigger."

"A lion?" It would have made sense for him, in some manners. I was a Gryffindor. His patronus was created based on a memory of me, so it was possible.

"Nope, bigger."

I raised an eyebrow, "A whale?"

This cracked him up, "No, but that would be hysterical." When he finally recovered from his fit of giggles he asked if I really wanted to know. Naturally I pleaded for him to tell me. He smiled slightly as he confessed, "A polar bear."

I raised an eyebrow, "So what you're telling me is that I got attacked by a dementor and you ran a polar bear through me to get rid of it?" He nodded. The laughter bubbled up from within me and came out louder than I expected. He laughed with me. I continued, "Draco Malfoy's patronus is a goddamn polar bear. Think it's because you're as pale as one?"

He rolled his eyes, "No, I doubt it."

I sighed, trying to get myself to stop giggling. "Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you were able to cast it so well."

"So am I. I don't think I could handle you becoming a shell of a man."

"Y'know, I don't fancy that fate either."

He took my hand in his and kissed the back of it gently, "I love you," He murmured against my skin.

"I love you too."

* * *

 _A/N: I was going to opt for a lion for Draco, but I went with polar bear instead. My reasoning being that they grow up in hostile, cold environments and are typically misunderstood as being either far sweeter or far scarier than they really are. They're just like any other animal: trying to survive. They are also very protective of their family, and in Draco's case that means Harry._


	31. Draco's New Friend

February 17th, 2003

"Everything okay?" I asked as soon as Harry returned to the bedroom from his shower.

He ran his hand through his hair and shook some of the remaining water out. He glanced at me with a slight frown as he walked over to the dresser, "Um, yeah? Why do you ask?"

"You've been really quiet all night," I commented as I pretended to read my book. Truth be told, I wasn't a huge fan of _Lord of the Flies_ anyway. It was so dry and dull compared to some of the other things I had read.

"Have I?" He asked as he let the towel around his hips fall to the floor.

"If you're trying to distract me with your fine ass it isn't going to work," I commented.

He glanced back at me and smirked. He opened the dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of his boxers. Naturally, he had to be rude about it and put them on as slowly as possible as he laughed at me.

"Harry," I rolled my eyes. He just laughed and slipped the boxers all the way on before heading over to our bed. He put his round specs on as he sat down and picked up his copy of the _Prophet_. "You barely spoke at dinner. Wouldn't tell me about your day beyond the fact that it didn't go very well." I shut my book and put it on the nightstand.

He shrugged, "Sorry. Didn't really feel like I could talk about it. There is a confidentiality clause for my job. You know that."

"Yeah, I do. But usually you overlook that and tell me anyway," I pointed out.

"Well, this was kind of a bigger deal than usual," He explained matter-of-factly.

I sighed, "Alright, fine, don't tell me."

He frowned but didn't say anything.

I sighed to myself and considered trying to pick up my book again. But I didn't feel like reading about insane pubescent boys trapped on an island anymore. I started to hunker down into bed, ready to go to sleep when I heard a stupid honking sound coming from outside. I recognized the ridiculous sound immediately. "What was that?" He asked with a frown, glancing at the window behind him.

"A swan," I said as I climbed out of bed and headed for the window. I opened the window out into the narrow alleyway and looked down. A swan sat on the ground below with an envelope in its beak.

"Up here Clarence!" I called down to the swan.

"What the hell is going on?" Harry asked, clearly wondering who Clarence was.

My father's swan looked up at me and honked around the envelope it was holding. His great big wings folded out from his body and he frantically flew up toward our window. He more or less fell right through and landed on our bedroom floor. It was a right nuisance that my father had a swan instead of an owl. Clarence dropped the envelope on the floor. Only then did I realize it was bright red.

"Is that your father's?" Harry asked, sounding a bit nervous.

"Yes," I explained curtly

"Okay, first of all, why does your father use a swan to deliver his mail"?

"This is my father we're talking about," I said frankly as the envelope started wriggling about on the floor. "Is this a howler?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Um, yeah, I think it —" Harry started but was cut off as the letter flew up off the floor and burst open. Clarence honked in fright and waddled out of the room. He bonked his head on the doorframe on his way out and I could hear him hopping down the stairs as the letter began:

"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY,

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THE HELL THAT MAN HAS PUT YOUR MOTHER AND I THROUGH? THE EMBARRASSMENT OF THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC BOMBARDING INTO OUR HOUSEHOLD IS ONE THING, BUT SUCCESSFULLY CONFISCATING TREASURED FAMILY HEIRLOOMS IS ANOTHER. IF YOU DARE TO STAY WITH THAT MAN, EXPECT TO NEVER SEE YOUR MOTHER OR I EVER AGAIN. HARRY POTTER IS NOT ONLY A DISGRACE TO ALL OF WIZARDKIND BUT AN ABOMINATION AND A PERSONAL BLIGHT UPON THE MALFOY FAMILY AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE MY SON BEING MANIPULATED BY SUCH A VILE MAN."

As the letter was bellowing my father's voice throughout the room, I couldn't help but look up at Harry. My face fell as I heard what my father had to say. Harry realized the severity of the situation and put his paper down as his eyes widened in fright.

The letter burst into flames and fizzled out in a matter of seconds. The ashes fell to the floor. I couldn't speak. I was frozen to the spot in my pyjamas, staring at Harry.

"I — I didn't want to upset you," He stammered anxiously as he stood to his feet.

I clenched my teeth together but didn't speak.

"We had reports that they were still hoarding dark artifacts. It's not like I wanted to do it. I didn't see the point in telling you and upsetting you about something that was unavoidable."

"Didn't see the point?" I murmured under my breath. I was at the level of anger where I was unable to shout or scream, I could only mutter and whisper.

"Please, don't get mad,"

"You have no right to tell me what to do."

"Draco, you're scaring me. Just scream at me if you have to, I can handle that better than this. You just look terrifying."

"Oh, right, fucking terrifying," I let loose, finally able to raise my voice again. "You think my whole damn family is scary, don't you? Of course he was still hoarding dark items, Harry. He's my father. That's what he does. You didn't _have_ to raid the house. You fucking raided my house! _My_ house. As if you couldn't have taken yourself off the job. What a bunch of bullshit," I was so mad that I couldn't even process my thoughts in a way that made sense. I felt like I could spit fire. I tore across the room, moving back to my side of the bed. I grabbed my wand and flicked it quickly toward the closet. A shirt and a pair of jeans switched out for the pyjamas on my body. I slipped on my shoes and headed out the room.

"Draco, no, wait!" Harry called as he followed me down the stairs, still wearing nothing more than his boxers.

I spun around halfway down the stairs, "No! I'm not going to wait. I can't even look at you right now. How _dare_ you lie to me? You were supposed to be the honest one, the man I could trust," I shook my head as I spoke, trying not to get overly emotional, "How the hell can I trust you now? Don't follow me." He stood stock still, frozen in surprise. I ran down the last couple of steps until my feet hit the wood in the hall. I spun on the spot, far away from home.

* * *

I sighed. The air was cold enough to show my breath. It was late. Not many people were out. But the lights in the Three Broomsticks were still glowing. I pushed the door open and stepped over the threshold. It was by no means a packed house, but there was still plenty of people. I sat quietly at the bar and asked for a firewhiskey. I downed it as soon as the filled glass touched the wooden bar. I sighed and asked for more. The bartender obliged, uncaring as to why I needed alcohol. I sipped patiently at the beverage this time, already feeling the effect.

"Hey mate," A man not far behind me said. I didn't bat an eye. Obviously whoever it was was talking to someone else. "Draco?"

This, however, caught my attention. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Neville approaching. "Oh. Hello."

He sat down at the empty barstool beside me, holding a half empty pint of butterbeer. "Where's Harry?" He asked genially.

"Where's Hannah?"

"Having a girls night with some friends at home," He explained without skipping a beat.

"You're here alone?"

"I was. Happened to run into a couple professors, but I saw you and thought I would come say hello."

"Hm."

"Everything okay?" He asked before taking a sip of butterbeer. He could clearly tell that something was up.

I shook my head and downed the last of my second firewhiskey. The bartender didn't need to be asked. He filled my glass again.

"Want to talk about it?" Neville pressed.

"I dunno," I slurred.

"Oh come on, you can tell me."

"It has to do with Harry, I don't want to talk shit about your friend to you."

"Oh, it's fine. I can handle it. What stupid thing has he done now?" He said with a smile.

I swallowed hard on a bit of the alcohol before answering, "The ministry raided my father's home. Harry was involved in it. He came home and didn't even see fit to tell me about it. I found out when my father sent a howler."

"What did the howler say?"

"That if I continued to see Harry I would never see him or my mother again."

"Let me guess," He spoke calmly, "When the howler came Harry tried to explain himself and you were too mad so you left?"

I frowned and gave him a look, "Yeah. How did you figure that one out?"

"Just a hunch."

I sighed and went to put my half empty glass down, but my coordination was clearly being affected. I thought I was putting it on the bar, but the glass had still been a little above the surface. I let it go and it clattered onto the bar and spilled everywhere. "Goddammit," I cursed bitterly. The bartender cleaned it up with a flick of his wand, "Need another?" He asked.

"No, he'll be fine," Neville said as he stood, leaving his now empty pint behind. He put a hand on my shoulder, "Come on Draco, you don't need more. Let's walk."

I knew he was right. I reluctantly moved away with him and we walked about the Three Broomsticks. He softened his voice so we couldn't be heard as much, "You have to understand, Harry was probably trying to protect you by not telling you."

"How is being kept in the dark protecting me?"

"He knew you'd be unhappy. I'm sure he thought what he was doing was for the best." I opened my mouth to protest how it was absolutely not for the best but he cut me off before I could even get started, "Now that's not to say it was the right decision. But you can bet your stars he _thought_ it was. If he avoided telling you he wasn't avoiding you lashing out at him, he was avoiding you getting hurt. He is rarely selfish. As I'm sure you've noticed, Harry has a nasty habit of caring more about others than himself. If he wasn't telling you something it wasn't for his own benefit."

"I s'pose," I capitulated.

"However, he probably should have anticipated that your father would send word your way regarding the matter. That was just poor thinking on his part."

"So he was just never gonna tell me?"

"I'm sure once things cooled down and the case was more or less settled with the ministry he would have told you. But that's something you'll have to ask him, I'm just guessing here."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Come again?" Neville asked as we circled the bar again.

"Why are you trying to help me out?"

He laughed, "Isn't that what friends do? Would you rather I didn't?"

"No, I don't mean to sound unappreciative, I'm just confused. I — we've only talked a couple of times, and it's been brief. I always just assumed you were another one of Harry's friends who sees me as nothing more than the Death Eater that I was." Someone not far from us flinched when I said Death Eater and glanced our way harshly as we walked. It was now more or less a swear word to mention the Death Eaters or Voldemort outside of a historical lesson. People were still terrified of saying his name. Harry had long ago stopped referring to him as Voldemort and only called him Tom Riddle.

Neville shook his head, "No, I don't see you like that." He glanced around and noticed some people casting a few odd glances. "Why don't we step outside?" I agreed and followed him outside of the Three Broomsticks. It was cold outside and I didn't have a coat, but I didn't care very much. We walked down the main road of Hogsmeade, which was conveniently empty of passersby. "I don't know, I thought we were friends. But if you don't think we are — I guess I'll just have to win you over."

I shook my head, "It's not that you need to persuade me to like you, Neville. I just assumed you didn't like me. That's just my assumption with everyone, honestly. Do you have any idea what it's like to carry around my name? Sometimes I take polyjuice potion at work with permission from my boss. There have been many patients who are too scared to let me treat them. I've walked into rooms and made an old witch faint with fright. My family was plastered all over the papers when Skeeter realized we were the only Death Eaters that weren't arrested. Is it really any wonder why I just assume nobody likes me? I haven't made any friends at work, it took me years to get them to trust me at all. For fuck's sake, I had one healer who would follow me around and check every single potion I gave to make sure it wasn't poisoned." I hadn't meant to start talking about all of it, but it hit me like a brick wall. I was so sick of being me. I didn't hate myself, not necessarily. I hated that I had my skin and my name and that both were so damn recognizable. I had considered dyeing my hair a hundred times. Harry always got mad when I mentioned it and swore that if I did he would just change it back right away. He always told me that he loved my pale hair, _It's like looking into the sun or the moon. So bright and blistering white that it's gorgeous._

"I'm sorry, Draco. I didn't realize —"

"No, I know you didn't. Don't apologize. Don't. You have no reason to. I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I just want you to understand why I make these assumptions."

He nodded as we walked on slowly through the snow littered road, "I suppose I should have figured that was the case. But trust me when I say that I don't see that. You're just Draco. You're my friend's partner. I care about Harry, so I care about you."

I sighed softly and glanced at him as we walked. He smiled kindly my way. "Thank you, Neville. I — that really helps. I suppose we are friends then."

"I'll take that title proudly," He grinned with pride. His smile diminished after a few moments of silence, "Now, back to this business with Harry."

"Can't I just go home and pretend like it never happened?" I asked as we headed down the path that lead back to Hogwarts. I was sure that Neville was planning on calling it a night and heading to his home within its walls.

"Nope."

"Damn. Thought that would work."

"You're really terrible at fooling people, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. I'm a terrible liar. Harry was always able to see right through me."

"So there's no sense going home and acting like you're fine with it when you're not."

"Yeah, I suppose not."

"You could try telling him the truth," He suggested with a shrug.

"I just wish he hadn't lied to me."

"So tell him that, and hear him out when he responds. Like I said, he probably has his reasons for responding to the situation the way he did — just like you have reasons for being mad at him. Try and listen to him and tell him how you feel without making an accusation."

His advice was sound. I glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow, "Are you some sort of therapist?"

He laughed, "No. I'm a teacher though, so it's not far off."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Gotcha to smile!" He said happily.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up." I rolled my eyes. Neville just shook his head. I glanced up and glimpsed the castle in the distance. I smiled to myself briefly. Despite all the terrible memories that had taken place for me at this school, I had also had a number of happy memories there as well. In the very least, it was where I had first met Harry, even if we had hated each other at first. It was almost comical to think how petty and stupid we were with each other back in those days. Our spats had grown to be a bit more serious in nature. But it still didn't change the fact that we were mad for each other. I turned and looked at Neville, "So, you think I should go home and talk to him?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well," I smirked, "Since you're my friend I guess I better take your advice."

"Always a good plan," He said. "Tell Harry I said hello."

"Will do," I said, starting to walk away.

"Draco," He added.

"Hm?" I asked with a glance over my shoulder.

"The four of us should go out sometime soon."

I nodded, "We should."

"Good. G'night, safe apparating."

I laughed and bid him a good night as well before apparating home.

* * *

"Merlin!" Harry shouted in surprise when I appeared in the living room. He had jumped in surprise from where he sat on the couch.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I apologized as I moved to sit next to him.

"It's fine," He murmured softly as he ran his hand through his hair. We sat there in relative silence for a good couple of minutes. "I'm so sorry, Draco. I should not have lied to you. I was a fucking idiot. I've never been the smartest,"

"Stop yourself right there," I cut him off abruptly. He looked up at me, surprised at my boldness. "You're not stupid. You did a stupid thing, but you're not a stupid person. Have you been sitting here telling yourself that since I left?"

"Basically."

"Harry," I sighed but couldn't finish my thought. I changed my course instead. "Why did you lie to me?" I had a sneaking suspicion Neville had been correct, but I wanted to be sure.

He sighed and rang his hands together, a nervous tick he exhibited from time to time. "I was afraid of how you would react. When it all went down, I didn't know where we were going until we were there. Once I knew it was the manor, I knew it was going to end badly. I thought I could spare you if I just didn't say anything. Spare you the anger and the pain. But I was fucking stupid to think that your father wouldn't say anything about it to you."

"Quit saying you're stupid, Harry."

"Right. Sorry."

"So you weren't trying to cause problems, you were trying to avoid them."

"Essentially. It was still not the brightest choice."

"No, it wasn't. But you were well intentioned. I forgive you."

"You do?"

"Of course I do." I reached out and gently pried his hands apart and took his in mine. He squeezed tight.

"What are you going to do about your father?" Harry asked tentatively.

I took a deep breath and let it out, "Chances are he was just fuming. He might have cooled down enough to see reason. I'll go over tomorrow and try to reconcile things with him. He knows damn well he shouldn't have those items anyway. If I know my mum at all, she'll side with me as well and talk him down."

"I'm sorry this happened."

"Don't be. It was inevitable. Now come on, we both need a fucking rest after all of that." I stood and brought him to his feet and lead us upstairs to bed.


	32. Teddy's Birthday

April 2003

I pulled my soft, fraying hoodie on over my shoulders, glancing at Draco who was still lying in bed. "We have to be there pretty soon,"

He looked up at me and rolled over onto his stomach. "I'm scared."

"What on earth for? It's just a birthday party. Don't you want to wish your cousin a happy birthday?"

"Yes, but I can just send him a card, can't I?"

"What are you trying to avoid this for?" I asked curiously, crossing my arms across my chest.

He groaned in frustration and rolled himself across the bed so he was on my side, lying on his back. He opened his eyes and looked up at me, "I barely survived one child. How am I going to handle a room full of children?"

"Well, lucky for you, none of them are yours so you're not going to have to be responsible for any child in the room."

"Yes, but they'll be screaming and crazy. I don't know if I can handle it."

I leaned close to him and kissed his forehead, "Suck it up you wuss. We're going and that's that. I _will_ drag you out of this bed if I have to."

He whined and complained some more as he sat up and got out of bed and headed for the closet. I had to remind him to only wear something he didn't mind getting damaged. He reluctantly put on his jeans before we left.

* * *

"Harry! Draco!" Teddy ran across the room straight toward the fireplace we stepped out of in the Burrow.

"Hey little man," I knelt and scooped him up in my arms.

"Is my birthday today!" Teddy cheered happily.

"It is? How old are you today? Two? Forty?"

Teddy giggled and shook his head of bright blue hair, "Noooo, I'm five ears old!"

"Five? No, can't be. You were just born the other day," I argued. I glanced up and smiled at the family all around us. Andromeda and Molly were conversing excitedly about something in the corner while the Weasleys watched ten small children run around the room. Victoire was waddling about with Bill tagging just behind her. Ron and Hermione were keeping their eyes out for a couple of the other children, both of them looking frazzled. The children were friends of Teddy's from the neighborhood, all of them the children of wizards and witches.

"Quit hogging him, Potter. Just because you're his godfather doesn't mean you have exclusive rights to carrying him," Draco complained as he reached out and took Teddy in his own arms instead.

I rolled my eyes and handed Teddy over. Draco loved Teddy, and even if he wouldn't admit it willingly, it was really obvious how much he loved being around kids in general. I left the cousins to bond and crossed the room to talk to Andromeda.

"Oh, Harry! We didn't even see you come in," Andromeda apologized profusely as she stood and hugged me close. "How've you been?"

"Oh, can't complain. And you?"

"Finally doing something with myself," She spoke with a delighted smile.

"Oh? What might that be?"

"Working for muggle relations," She said proudly.

"Oh wonderful!" She had been more or less a stay-at-home grandmother for the past five years and had of late been feeling rather restless. She could only make so many quilts before she grew incredibly weary of it.

"Yes, Molly was just agreeing to watch him for me while I'm at work. At least until school starts for him in the fall."

"Is he excited for school?"

"Oh, delighted," She nodded toward the crowd of small children that were screeching around the room playing tag, "He's made some nice friends with the magic folk in the area, but he's going to need to learn to get along with muggles as well. Nobody's more equipped to teach him that than me though. Hopefully he won't take after his mother. I cannot tell you how many times the ministry had to obliviate Dora's classmates." It was only now, after five years, that Andromeda was able to say her daughter's name without getting emotional.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," I smirked. Tonks had always been a clumsy woman, I could only imagine that as a child she had been especially awful at controlling her outbursts of magic.

Andromeda smiled a bit sadly and glanced over at Draco and Teddy. Teddy was now up on his cousin's shoulders, yanking on his hair. Draco was being a good sport about it, though he kept scowling every time Ron laughed at him. Molly reached out and squeezed Andromeda's hand in hers, "Tell him. He might like to go along." She murmured to her dear friend.

Andromeda glanced at Molly before turning her attention back to me, "You see, he's been asking. He's always known I'm grandma, but he's been wondering where his mother and father are. I thought now might be an appropriate time to take him to see them. After all, this is when they had him. This was the happiest day of their —" She stopped herself. She swallowed hard and shook her head slowly. "I thought I might tell him the truth today. I think he's ready."

I nodded slowly. It was going to have to happen eventually. Better he find out young than later in life and feel as if he had been lied to. "Tonight then?"

She nodded, "After the party. Would you like to come with us to see them?"

I hadn't seen them in ages. The last time I had visited their graves properly had been when I was still with Ginny. All I remembered of it was how I had cried so hard that my head hurt for hours afterwards. But I had had some time to heal from that pain, to rid myself of the guilt. I needed to be there for Teddy. I nodded.

"Good, he'll be glad you came. Draco can come too if he likes."

"I'll run it by him. If he can ever detach himself from Teddy anyway." I smiled and glanced back at them again. Teddy was now playing games with them. Draco was sitting on the floor with him and a bunch of the other children were watching on curiously.

"Can you do a … dolphin?"

Teddy scrunched up his face and concentrated hard before his face slowly morphed into a dolphin's snout. He squeaked like one as well. All the kids roared with laughs of excitement. Victoire crawled off her father's lap on the sofa and wandered over to Teddy. She was clapping and giggling, "Duck! Duck!" She cried happily.

Teddy quickly and easily grew a duck's bill instead and quacked at her. She laughed so hard she lost her balance and fell over.

"I've never met a happier boy," Molly said fondly as she watched them play.

"Oh his mum was just the same. Always a riot with the kids, although she did scare a few by mistake a couple of times."

The two began a reverie about their children's magical mishaps. I quietly departed and sat beside Draco on the floor. Teddy was so preoccupied with making Victoire laugh that he did not notice me. Ron and Hermione had managed to corral a few of the kids into playing a game of telephone to get them to sit still. A glance around the room proved that at least a few of the onlooking Weasleys were experiencing baby fever. I couldn't help but feel I was too. I nudged Draco gently. He raised a brow, leaning my way to listen to what I had to say.

"'Dromeda is taking Teddy to see his parents today. She's invited us along. You don't have to go if you don't want to," I murmured softly so as not to be overheard.

Draco glanced from me to Teddy then back again, "No. I want to go."

"Good, I'm glad."

We sat and watched the giggling children with smiles on our faces, both of us trying to not think about the less pleasant experience we knew we would be having later in the day. Hermione sat at one end of the room and had started the telephone game. It had finally reached Ron at the other end of the room. He burst out laughing and looked down the chain at her, "Was it something like 'combs took a lot of play dough'?"

She shook her head and giggled, "It was 'gnomes look a lot like potatoes'." The children in the line cracked up and tried to figure out where it had gotten jumbled up and who had misheard and who had mispronounced.

"I wish it was easy for us," Draco murmured seemingly out of nowhere. I turned and looked at him curiously. He noticed this and answered the question before I could ask it, "I wish that it was easier for us to have kids."

"Fever got you bad now?" I asked with a little smile.

"Just a bit."

"We'll have one someday I'm sure."

"I hope so," He sighed. "He's already growing up too fast. He's speaking in clear sentences now. He's going to school."

"Just wait until he's off to Hogwarts."

"Don't even joke about that," He pouted. "Which house do you think he'll get in?"

"He's like his mum. He'll be a Hufflepuff."

"Nah, he's a Gryffindor," Draco argued.

Molly, who had disappeared without anyone noticing, suddenly called everyone into the kitchen, cutting our argument short. The children ran in and were delighted to see a bright blue cake in the middle of the table. The adults all sat at one end while the kids sat in smaller chairs on the other end of the table. Five candles rested on the top of the cake. Andromeda picked Teddy up and brought him over to the cake. Ron slipped his old deluminator out and took out the lights as Molly lit the candles. The whole room sang to Teddy. None of us were exactly good singers, but he didn't seem to notice or mind one way or another.

"Alright, go ahead and blow out the candles now," Andromeda encouraged him. "And remember, don't say it out loud or it won't come true."

Teddy inhaled dramatically and blew out as hard as he could, but only managed to take out half of the candles. Andromeda laughed and blew the rest out for him.

* * *

The children had long since gone home. Teddy had woken up from his nap and was now full of energy again. Most of the Weasleys had gone home. Draco and I were the only ones remaining. Teddy was rolling on the floor playing with Moony and making all too realistic howling noises for his toy. Draco and I were watching from the couch. Andromeda had been trying to figure out how to approach the situation. We had figured out we were going to get there via the knight bus, and we had decided to not bother him until he had had a chance to nap. But now the problem was trying to tell him what was going on. Andromeda knelt next to Teddy on the floor. He looked up at her and held up his toy, "Wanna play with Moony?"

She smiled weakly and took the toy, "Sure." She held it to her chest and sighed sadly, smoothing down the ruffled fur of the toy. Teddy looked at her curiously, trying to figure out what her expression meant. "Do you know why he's named Moony?" She asked.

"Because that's his name."

She glanced at me, "Some people name their toys and such after other things and people. Did you know that?"

He shook his head.

"So, for example, if I ever found a doll with blue hair I think I might name him Teddy, after my favorite grandson."

Teddy giggled, "That's funny."

"It is, isn't it?" She sighed and handed him back the wolf. "Do you know what 'birthday' means, Teddy?"

"It means cake and friends."

"Close. It means that today is the day you were born. How old are you Teddy?"

"Five!"

"Yes, you are. So that means five years ago your mother gave birth to you."

He looked up at her with a certain excitement, "My mother?"

"Yes, your mother." It was obvious how much it was paining Andromeda to say this. "Would you like to go say hello to them? To your mum and dad?"

He jumped up, Moony tight in his hands, "Yes! Can we go see them now?"

Andromeda slowly got to her feet, "Yes. Do you want Harry and Draco to come with us?"

He turned to us and beamed with delight, "Yeah, yeah!"

With no more debate or discussion on the subject, Andromeda took Teddy's hand and we headed out. We thanked Molly for her hospitality before heading to the road and hailing the knight bus. It had been so long since I had been on it. I tried not to think about the fact that the last time I had been on this bus it had been with Teddy's parents, going to Sirius' for Christmas. I tried not to think about it too much. We took our seats across from each other. The minute the bus lurched the seats went sliding. Teddy's screeching laughter echoed through the massive bus. Andromeda had a rough time trying to keep him seated. As the bus careened through the muggle streets toward Godric's Hollow I noticed Draco turning more and more green.

"Why does anyone travel like this?"

"Oh it's not that —" I started to say before I fell out of the seat as the bus turned sharply.

Draco laughed at me as he held onto the seat for dear life. Teddy saw me roll across the floor and felt the need to jump out of his seat and land on me. I groaned and did my best to sit up as the bus moved rapidly. It was not unlike being on a rollercoaster without a seatbelt. I struggled to my feet with Teddy in my arms, "Down! Down! I wanna roll!" He complained as he squirmed away from me. I glanced at Andromeda, who also looked rather nauseous. She shrugged and sighed, clearly fed up with trying to stop him from fooling around on the bus. I let him down and he immediately barrelled across the floor, knocking into a few seats and people's feet. But he didn't seem to care. Before I could fall again, I sat back down beside Draco. He immediately put an arm around me to keep me close. I couldn't tell if this was because he wanted to ensure that if he fell I fell with him or if it was to comfort himself. Either way, it was amusing.

The bus finally arrived in Godric's Hollow and we went to pick Teddy up off the floor. But he tried to squirm away, "No, I want to play!"

"Do you want to play or meet mummy and daddy?" Andromeda asked impatiently.

He sighed but got up and took her hand again. As we headed off the bus I quietly cast the cleaning charm on his clothes. They had been coated in grime and gum from the bus floor. We headed through Godric's Hollow, chiefly ignored by the people milling about. Now that we were in a wizarding community, Draco reached out and took my hand in his. He was far less afraid to do so in these parts.

"Where are they grandma?" Teddy asked curiously as we walked through town.

"Nearly there, love."

He turned and looked over at Draco and I walking beside them, "Have you seen them before?"

Draco blushed slightly and looked away. He had told me in the past how much shame he felt for how he had treated Remus when we had had him as a professor, his guilt that he had never known his cousin Nymphadora.

"Yes. We have. Your father was our teacher in school for a little while," It didn't nearly touch on the whole truth, but it was all he needed to know right now. One day he would know how connected we were to Remus and how important he and Sirius had been in my life.

"Is my daddy nice?"

I had been able to keep my emotions at bay quite well until that moment. It was a sad situation, but it didn't have to be heartbreaking. But this innocent question hurt more than I had expected it to. All I could say was, "Yes."

That was when we approached the graveyard. Teddy had never been to one before, he didn't know what it was. He just trusted us and followed us in. We walked past the stones and the markers before we found theirs. I remembered paying for it. Andromeda had been grieving so intensely, and she had not been able to afford anything for her daughter, for her husband. A thick slab of marble was in the ground for her husband, for Teddy's namesake. A simple marker rested beside it for Tonks and Remus. It was not their nature to want something glamorous. Something told me that even the plate being made of marble would have made them a bit irked. They were never the kind to be ostentatious.

Andromed stood in front of the stones in the ground. I glanced her way. She was falling apart slowly but surely. It had been five years since she had last been here. It was the only way she could deal with it. She let go of Teddy's hand and I could see it was trembling.

"I don't understand," Teddy said softly.

Andromeda shook her head and covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking. I knelt beside Teddy, realizing it was going to have to be my job to explain.

"This is your mum and dad," I explained, pointing to the small plaque in the ground.

"But … where are their smiles? Their faces?"

"Five years ago your mum had you. There was a war going on at the time. Your mum wanted to fight to protect you, so she joined your dad in a battle a month later to protect what she loved. She was one of the bravest women I've ever met, Teddy. Your father and mother died that day to protect you, to ensure that you were never in harm's way."

"They aren't here?"

"Not physically, no."

"I … I'll never get to see them?"

"No Teddy, I'm so sorry," Despite the many years of working out my guilt and trying to defeat it, I still couldn't help but feel terrible. The expression on his face shifted and his hair darkened to a black, a color I had never seen on him before. He started to cry. Not the wailing, angry cries of temper tantrums. Not the cries when he was tired and couldn't fall asleep. This was something totally different. I had never seen him cry from sorrow before, but that was clearly what he was going through. He crumpled and bent over their grave, crying to himself. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me, "I know. I know, Teddy. Hey, can you look up for me really quick?"

He sniffed but lifted his head, turning to look over at me. I pointed over my shoulder. "You see that stone sticking out over there, just a couple plots over?" I asked him softly. He nodded slowly. "That's my parents. I was only a year old when they died. I never met them either, Teddy. But you know what? I had a godfather and professors who loved me and protected me at all costs. Your father and my father were best friends. Your father protected and cared for me in place of my parents, just like I do with you. Okay? They may not be here anymore, but I'm always going to be here for you Teddy. Your grandma will too," I said with a glance her way. She nodded as she continued to cry quietly. "And your cousin Draco. We're all here for you."

He wrapped his tiny arms around me and buried his face in my shirt. I held him close to me and tried to withhold my own pain. This wasn't about my guilt. This wasn't about my sorrow. This was about my godson's grief.

In his move to hug me, he had dropped his stuffed toy, though I hadn't noticed. Draco knelt beside us and gently tapped on Teddy's shoulder with the toy he had picked up off the ground. He pulled away from me and smiled weakly, taking his toy back with a grateful nod.

"You know, I bought that for you when you were born. Your father's nickname used to be Moony, that's why we picked out that name for it," I explained as he held the toy close to his chest.

"Really?" He asked with a little smile.

"Yes," Andromeda said with a deep sigh. She had begun to collect herself. She knelt beside us, all of us huddled around the graves now. She wrapped her arms around Teddy and pulled him into her lap, holding him close to her and kissing the top of his head. "You know who else is here with us Teddy?"

"Your grandfather you were named after," She said, pointing to the stone beside his parents. "That's your grandpa Ted."

He smiled and waved at the stone, "Hi grandpa,"

"He would have loved you, dear. So much."

"Did mum and dad love me?"

"Of course they did, Teddy. Of course they did." Andromeda reminded him. "They all loved you very much, Teddy. Just like we do."

Teddy smiled to himself and looked up at his grandma and over at us, "A lot of people really like me, huh?"

We all smiled at each other. Andromeda nodded, "Yes, a lot of people love you and like you very much. It's hard not too when you're so funny."

"And cute, don't forget how cute he is," I added.

Teddy laughed and his hair slowly shifted into an icy blue. He wasn't totally happy yet, but he was getting there. His grandmother kissed his cheek, "You want to head home sweetheart?"

His smile faded, but he nodded, "Can I say goodbye?"

"Of course."

He wriggled out of her arms and walked back over to their marker. He knelt right above the small rectangle of marble. He smiled sadly and waved at the ground, "Bye mum. Bye dad. I love you too." He walked back over to his grandmother and silently asked to be picked up. She held him and I helped her to her feet. We headed out of the graveyard.

"Are we taking the bus back?" Teddy asked excitedly, his hair flushing blue again.

"Yes, but you can't roll on the floor again. You got filthy," Andromeda said sternly.

He sighed but seemed to accept this fate.

"Actually, I think Draco and I are going to apparate home from here," I interrupted.

She paused mid-step and turned to us, "Oh I suppose that's fair. Thank you for coming out with us. I really appreciate it. Do you want to say bye Teddy?" She asked kindly. He didn't even reply, he just started to lean out of her arms toward me. I quickly held onto him and he wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me tight.

"Bye Teddy, I love you. I'll see you soon, I promise."

"Good," He said with a whimper. He let go of me and practically fell out of my arms trying to reach Draco. He pulled his cousin into his arms.

"You be good to your grandma, okay?"

"I'll try," He sighed.

"No, you're going to actually be good. Don't just try, actually do it."

He shrugged, "We'll see."

Draco laughed, "You're a weird kid, but I love you."

Teddy smiled up at him, "I'm pretty loveable."

With another laugh, Draco hugged his cousin before handing him back over to his grandmother. We waved goodbye to them as they headed to the road and she waved her wand for the knight bus. We watched them zoom off on the purple triple decker.

"Well — that was something else. Wasn't it?" Draco sighed.

"Yeah. It was."

He took my hand in his again, "He's lucky to have you."

I smiled and looked over at him, "Think so?"

"I know so." We exchanged a warm smile before he added, "Ready?" I nodded and with one nauseating spin we moved through a good part of the country in the blink of an eye to return to our home.


	33. Draco's Proposition

Saturday, June 7th 2003

"I'll be back, I'm going to go get some groceries," I murmured before kissing Harry's cheek. He glanced up from his half eaten brunch and folded up paper on the table in front of him, "You don't normally go grocery shopping until Sunday."

"I know, but I can't wait any longer. We're all out of booze and I thought we could have a little fun tonight," I lied easily.

He smirked, "Fair enough. How long will you be out do you think?"

"Why, going to invite your lover over while I'm out?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"I'm not sure. Might not take long, or it could be swamped. We'll see. I should be back within a few hours though. Any longer than that and I've probably been kidnapped."

"Sounds good, see you later." He said casually as he went back to reading his paper and eating the French toast I had made us. I rolled my eyes at this with a little laugh before heading out the front door. Harry was not the overbearing, overprotective type. His love didn't need to be expressed with constant monitoring. He would eventually get concerned, as my one late night home had proved, but generally he didn't worry about me. Especially not since I had learned to cast the patronus charm.

I walked through the streets of London quietly, my hands stuffed in the pockets of my jeans. I walked straight past the supermarket a few blocks away from our home and finally found myself standing in front of a familiar building. I buzzed for apartment nine. The contraption covered in numbered buttons had terrified me the first time we had come to visit them, but I was used to how the weird muggle device worked.

"Who is it?" Hermione's voice carried through a little panel on the wall.

I leaned toward it and spoke as loudly as I could without screaming, "THIS. IS. DRACO."

"You don't have to shout, come on in," She said as the front door beside the panel clicked open. I let myself in and headed up the steps to their room. By the time I reached the flat she was already waiting in the doorway, the thick wooden door propped open against her foot. Her hair was tied up in a tangled, messy bun and she was wearing a loose sweater and pyjama pants.

"Where's Harry?" She asked curiously.

"Home, I just came to see the two of you."

She frowned, not understanding, but she stepped aside and let me in anyway.

Ron was sitting on their couch watching cartoons as I entered their home, "Where's Harry?"

"It's not like I can't exist in a space without him," I said as I sat down in a large chair adjacent to the couch. Hermione plopped down beside Ron who automatically put an arm around her shoulders.

"I know that, it's just that you usually _are_ with him," Ron explained as he muted the talking box the cartoons played on. He had grown to love the device, and Harry had been trying to convince me to watch something called a 'film' on it, but I was hesitant. I couldn't understand how it was both alike and different to wizard portraits. "Is everything okay?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, actually, I have something to ask you."

Hermione grinned, "Yes. Absolutely yes. My answer is yes."

Ron and I both gave her a look.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Are you a legilimens?" Ron asked.

"No, I just use my common sense."

"Okay, tell me what he's got to ask us then," Ron said crossly.

"No, he'll tell us."

"You already beat me to it," I said with a sigh.

"Well say it for Ron's benefit," She insisted. "Go on, go on. I want to see his reaction."

Ron looked utterly perplexed but played along, "Alright, what is it Malfoy?"

"Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

"Nah."

I rolled my eyes. Hermione lightly shoved his shoulder and told him to be quiet. He didn't even seem to notice. This was the general function of their relationship; Ron was exasperating, Hermione was exasperated with him. I took a moment to collect myself before speaking again, "I came to ask if it would be alright for me to propose to Harry."

Hermione, of course, had seen this coming and didn't react at all. She was too busy staring at Ron's shell shocked face. His eyes widened so dramatically it was a bit worrying. He glanced at Hermione, "You saw that coming?" She just nodded, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing. He turned back to me, "Are you completely serious?"

"I wouldn't joke about something like this."

He blinked several times, looking around the room as if he could find the words he was looking for painted on the walls. He floundered for a moment before finally saying, "It's only been — what — a year and a half?"

"I know."

"Do you think you're ready for that?"

"Yes."

"Is he?"

"I think so. We've talked about having a future together before. There's really no reason to put it off any longer."

Ron leaned back into the couch and sighed. He gazed off into the distance for a moment before murmuring, "What do you think about it Hermione?"

She looked at me as she spoke, "I'm honestly delighted. You have my approval."

I cast a smile her way before turning my attention back to Ron, trying to gauge his response. He seemed to need several moments to absorb this information in silence. After what felt like ages, he finally looked at me again and slowly smiled, "I suppose you've been pretty good to him since you two got together. And if it means I get to be his best man, I'm alright with that. But if I don't get to be best man you can kiss my approval goodbye."

I grinned, "I think your position is secured there."

"Then you have my blessing. You know you still have to get mum and dad's, right?"

I nodded slowly, "Yeah. I know. Do you know how they might react by any chance?"

"I doubt they'll be disagreeable. Mum kind of loves you already, and Dad likes you a lot more than he likes your dad. How's that going to work out having them at the same wedding?"

I sighed. I had thought of it, and it was the only factor of our marriage that scared me, "My hope is that mum and I can reason with my dad to behave himself for my sake."

"Is he going to be okay with you two getting married at all?" Hermione asked.

I looked away, "I'm not sure. He — has been on and off about our relationship since it started. It took him awhile to get over the raid, but he did. He eventually stopped blaming Harry for it and I got him to ease up. I think the fact that I'm marrying at all will make him happy. At least, that's what I hope."

"Are you going there next?" Ron asked.

I shook my head, "No. I'm going to visit your parents first. See what they say. I might just avoid telling my dad until after I've proposed."

"Which is when by the way?" Hermione asked curiously. "I love a cute proposal. What do you have planned?"

I smiled, "I'm not telling you. But I'm planning for it to be in a couple weeks. Don't worry, you'll hear all about it from him shortly after it happens I'm sure."

Hermione huffed, "Have it your way. Don't tell."

"I don't want to spoil the excitement of it."

"Yeah, lay off him, 'mione. You'll know soon enough how it plays out," Ron said.

Hermione and I both looked at him like he grew another head.

"What? What'd I say?"

"Did you just side with me on something?" I asked, "Or am I hearing things?"

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist. I can agree with you if I want to."

"Yeah, but you never agree with him," Hermione pointed out with a snicker.

Ron rolled his eyes, "Oh lay off you two. Mer

* * *

lin's beard."

I couldn't help but smile, "Alright, I'll leave you two to bicker. I'm going to head over to the Burrow."

"Say hi to mum and dad for me, tell them we already gave the stamp of approval."

"Will do. Mind if I just apparate from here?"

"No, go ahead," Hermione said politely, "But you better tell me that proposal story as soon as humanly possible. Send a letter, come by immediately afterwards, I don't care. Just make it happen."

"Yes, alright, alright. I promise you'll be the first to know," I said as I stood and walked across the room to a more cleared area. We said our goodbyes before I apparated away.

* * *

As I walked across the back lawn toward the Burrow I couldn't help but worry I was potentially intruding. As far as I knew, however, nobody but Arthur and Molly lived in the Burrow anymore. All the kids had moved out and into their own places, including Ginny. I wondered vaguely how she would feel about the news. I guessed she would be alright with it. In the nearly two years since Harry and I had gotten together she had recovered remarkably well. If anything, I suspected she would be happy for us. But nobody could be happy if I didn't get the proper approval from Harry's family. I headed for the back door of the Burrow, prepared to knock. I jumped in surprise when I suddenly heard Molly's voice call out of sight, "Draco, is that you?"

I turned to my right and saw she was several feet away in her garden, knees in the dirt and a small pile of pulled up carrots beside her. She smiled when she recognized me and pushed her frizzy hair out of her face with the back of her hand, "I thought I recognized that pale hair."

"Morning, Mrs. Weasley," I said as I walked over toward her.

"Goodness, it's more afternoon isn't it?" She asked as she turned her head up to the sun. She smiled and nodded, "Yes, I believe it is. Is everything okay? I can't recall the last time you came by without Harry. I don't believe you ever have."

I wanted to be irritated by the fact that everyone seemed surprised when I wasn't with Harry, but I found I couldn't be. She had a point. I had never once visited without him. Come to think of it, the only person I had really visited in our circles without Harry was Neville. I made a mental note to be more friendly with the lot of them. They were hopefully going to be my family as well soon, it would do me well to get to know them better as individuals. I still got half of the Weasley men mixed up. Percy and Charlie were the ones I got confused the most, which everyone seemed to find very entertaining.

"Everything's fine," I explained quickly.

"Well, why don't we head in for a spot of tea then? I haven't taken a break yet, and I'm afraid I'm in dire need of it." She slipped her wand out of the pocket of her dress and with a quiet flick of the wand the carrots formed a perfect line and began skipping along to the door. She smiled to herself and started to her feet. I reached out and offered her a hand. She took it graciously, "Thank you, Draco," She sighed as she got up to her feet.

"Oh, Ron says hello by the way," I remembered to add as she started forward to the door, following behind the carrots. She didn't bother to get rid of the dirt on her skin and clothes. It suited her somehow.

"Visiting Ron and Hermione too? Now I'm a bit suspicious," She said with a little laugh as she opened the door and held it open for me. "Go on and sit. I'll get the tea." The door opened into the kitchen and I immediately sat down at the long table, noticing Arthur sitting at one end reading a book. I sat beside him and he looked up, raising an eyebrow. I wondered if he had been expecting another ginger.

"Afternoon, Mr. Weasley."

"Draco, what a surprise," He said with a smile.

"Almost as surprising as you reading The Hobbit," I pointed out with a nod to his book.

He put it face down to hold his place, "I hear you fancy muggle books yourself."

"Yeah, I've been working through a large stack. I'm halfway through Macbeth."

"Can't say I've gotten into Shakespeare yet, though that particular author is in every bookshop I've been to so far. Have you considered reading children's literature?"

I shook my head, "No, the thought never struck me."

"Consider giving it a chance. You know, just because we're adults doesn't mean we can't read them. They really are enjoyable. I have a few I could lend you if you like."

"That would be splendid," I spoke just as three teacups floated over onto the table, followed by a teapot that diligently filled each one without spilling a drop. Molly sat down across from me and beside her husband, "So tell me Draco, what brings you here today? I assume it's not just for a visit."

"You caught me. I have a purpose for being here beyond a simple friendly visit," I admitted as I stirred a little sugar into my tea and took a sip, "Though to be clear, I would have no opposition to friendly visits in the future, if you're not wholly opposed to it."

"Our home is your home now as well, Draco. You're welcome here whenever you like, our door is always open," Molly assured me. "But for now, what can we do for you?"

I tried to stall more by taking a sip of tea again, but I knew I couldn't avoid this. I set my half empty cup down and folded my hands in front of me on the table, "I came to ask if I may have your blessing to marry Harry."

Molly smiled, "That's what I suspected you were here for." Arthur looked at her curiously, obviously a bit surprised. I found it entertaining how their responses so perfectly mirrored Ron and Hermione's.

"Are you sure you're ready for marriage?" Molly asked gently.

"I'm sure. It feels like we're married already," I said honestly.

"I'm sure it does, but you have to keep in mind that marriage is a very permanent thing," Molly started to say and gestured for me to keep quiet as I opened my mouth to speak, "The whole point is to stay with that person and work through the hardships together. It's not easy, Merlin is it difficult at times, but if it's the right person it should be possible." She smiled and took Arthur's hand in hers. She paused long enough to exchange a loving look with her husband before turning back to me. "I want Harry to be truly happy for the rest of his days. I don't doubt that you can help him achieve that kind of happiness, though I may have had my doubts in the past. But if you have any lingering concerns that it may not last, or that your feelings have changed, you need to consider those. I only want you to marry him if there's not a shred of doubt in your mind that it's the best thing for the both of you."

She had a point. I knew she was right. It had to be a decision that I had no doubt in making. But I had been thinking about it for months now. There was no particular moment where I realized that it was a good idea, I had been considering it for so long. In all the scenarios I imagined, good and bad, I still saw us making things work. I truly believed that we would be able to work through anything together. I hadn't had the best models for a healthy relationship when I was growing up, but I had recognized that early on. Harry had changed everything about me, everything I wanted in a relationship was different once I realized how I felt for him. I looked up at Molly and nodded, "I know it's the best choice. I have no doubt."

She smiled proudly, "Then by all means, you have our blessing." I noticed her squeezing Arthur's hand, "Isn't that right?" She asked her husband. I glanced his way to check in on his reaction to all of this. Unlike Ron, he had far less questions. He smiled my way, "Yes, you have our approval."

I had been a bit stoic up until that moment, fearing that they may not ultimately consent to our marriage. But as soon as Arthur agreed, I couldn't stop smiling, "Thank you so much. You've no idea how much this means to me."

"Oh I think I might," Arthur argued, "Seems only yesterday I was asking Mr. Prewett for his blessing." He said with an affectionate look toward his wife. She smiled bashfully and even a hint of a blush spread on her cheeks. I hoped Harry and I would be the same way with each other in thirty years time. A distant thought in the back of my head was optimistic in thinking that we would be just as happy.

* * *

June 21st, 2003

I woke up earlier than I meant to. This tended to happen whenever I was particularly excited or anxious. I turned my head to the side and saw Harry sleeping soundly. The clock told me it wasn't even six in the morning yet, but bits of sunlight were still coming in through the windows. If there wasn't another building directly beside ours there would be far more light filtering in the room. I figured if he said yes today maybe we could look into getting a home together, somewhere farther away from the city. After all, the proximity wasn't entirely necessary for our professions. We could always apparate. But that was hardly my biggest concern at that moment.

I rolled onto my side to face Harry completely. He slept on his front, face buried into his pillow and hair pushed in a million different directions. I watched his back rise and fall as he breathed deeply. He twitched here and there. I smiled to myself. He was surely dreaming. I slowly slipped out of bed so as not to disturb him. Today was going to be the day. I had decided it awhile ago. It wouldn't be right away. It would come later. But for now I had a moment to prepare myself mentally. I slipped out of the room and into the bathroom, running the water in the tub and pulling the lever for the shower. I slipped in behind the curtain and let out a breath as the warm water rushed over my skin. I shut my eyes and stood in the downpour quietly for a moment, just breathing in the steam. I realized that by this time tomorrow I might be engaged. If things went the way I hoped they would, in a year or two I would be calling Harry my husband. I smiled to myself and opened my eyes.

As I went about washing off yesterday's grime, I thought about how today might play out. Things could go wrong. Worst case scenario he would say no and I would wait some time before trying again. If he did say no it wasn't the end of the world. It just meant that he wasn't quite ready. I could wait until he was ready. There was a slim chance it could all end today instead of beginning. But I doubted it would happen. I had no reason to believe that he was so unhappy that my proposal would set him off and make him end things or need a break. Best case scenario, however, he would say yes. A flutter of excitement built in my chest. I tried to settle it down. I couldn't get my hopes up too high. I had to be neutral, okay with any possible response he may have. I took a steadying breath and rinsed off the last of the soap from my skin and shut the water off. It was going to be okay. I had a feeling today would be a great day.

…

I had been sweet to him throughout the day, though not so much that it would be noticeable. His favorite breakfast, cuddling on the couch, listening to his favorite records, and the like. I was saving the best for the last.

"Did you know today's the summer solstice?" I asked him abruptly while we were lying on the couch, the Beatles' playing in the background. We had been talking for hours about nothing important. My head was resting in his lap and he was playing with my hair absentmindedly.

"Can't say I noticed."

"It's the longest day of the year."

"Mmm," He hummed as he smiled down at me.

"Did you even hear me or are you too busy staring at me?"

"Summer solstice today,"

"Okay, good. You want to go watch the sun set?" I asked him with a smile.

"Yeah sure, why not. We don't have anything else in mind for tonight. Or do we?" He asked with a smirk and a stupidly raised eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes, "Shut up. So the sun goes down around 9:30. Takes about an hour to get totally dark, we can make a little date of it. Go find somewhere in the country, watch the sunset, watch the stars come out."

"It's already pretty close to sunset, do you want to head out now? Where did you have in mind?"

"Wherever you like love," I said as I finally sat up from his lap.

"I got a place in mind," He said as he got up off the couch. He held his hand out to me and I let him pull me to my feet. He kissed me briefly on impulse before holding on tight to me and apparating us away from London.

"Again, I hate to say it, but you're very predictable Harry." I said the instant we landed.

"What? How?"

"How many times have you brought me to the Forest of Dean?" I asked with a smile as we started wandering through the woods.

"Excuse me, I've only brought you here twice," He protested with a huff.

"It's obviously your favorite place."

"Can I say something cheesy?"

"Oh please."

"My favorite place is wherever you are."

I glanced over at him with a little smile, "You're so cute when you're cheesy."

"I try my best."

"Where's our spot we usually go to?"

"Well if you would let me lead the way, we would get there faster," He said with a bit of cheek as he pulled me in the correct direction. I let him guide us through the woods until we found our little hill. Most of the time when we came here we would take a break here and admire the view. It was the perfect spot to watch the sun set. Unlike most of the times we had visited this spot, it wasn't freezing and we were able to comfortably sit on the top of the hill. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and he curled close to me. The sky was rich in hues and shades, mainly deep oranges and pink streaks.

"I've never really watched the sun set. It's so much more beautiful than I thought it would be," He murmured.

I echoed his words, but beyond this we exchanged very few words. As the time slowly passed I felt my stomach clenching with nerves. I took a steadying breath before I spoke, "People think sunsets are endings. I don't think they are. It's just one beautiful sight being replaced by another."

"Hm, I never thought of it like that."

The sun was mostly eclipsed by the horizon of trees. It would be gone in a matter of moments. It was now or never. I moved my arm from around his shoulders and turned the other way. I noticed a small cluster of violets growing a few yards away. I withdrew my wand from my pocket. Harry didn't seem to notice, too interested in the sunset. I summoned one of the flowers my way. I held it carefully in my hand and took another deep breath. I envisioned it. A silver band was all we needed. My transfiguration abilities were not good enough to put elaborate details into it. I muttered the incantation under my breath and the violet slowly twisted itself into the silver ring I had had in mind. I quickly shut my hand around it and glanced at Harry, but he was still entranced with the skyline.

"Harry?"

"Hm?" He still didn't look over yet.

"I know it's beautiful, but can you look away for a moment?"

He turned over to me with a glowing smile on his face, "Hm?"

 _Now or never_ , I reminded myself. "I like to think a sunset is not unlike us. We may have started in starless darkness, not really understanding each other. But eventually we came to see the light, see the sunrise. The sunset might be coming for us now, but I like to think we're going to see the stars this time around. I love you, and I want to spend every sunrise and sunset of my life with you." I slowly unraveled my fingers from where they had been digging into my palm, revealing the ring there. I held it out for him, "Harry Potter, will you marry me?"

The last lights of the sun were blistering on the horizon, highlighting his expression. It was one of total shock. His eyes were verdant and wide behind his glasses. His lips were parted as if he had something to say but could find no words. He glanced from the ring to my eyes twice before finally whispering with a little smile, "Wait, is this real?"

"Absolutely," I assured him.

His smile widened and he laughed slightly, "Of course I'll marry you."

"You want the ring or should I just —"

"Fuck, I'm sorry," He said as he held out his trembling left hand. I gently slipped the ring on, the magic allowing it to adjust as it slid down his finger. We glanced up at each other. Our fingers laced together and we both started laughing with delight as the sunlight faded away under the horizon. He closed what little gap was between us and kissed me. We got lost in our joy, completely infatuated with hearts racing. We rolled over into the grass, his body holding mine down. Just as we were both getting hot and bothered, a breeze blew by and he pulled away. He laid on the grass beside me, taking my hand in his again. We both lay there, catching our breath.

"It's even more gorgeous with the stars," He murmured as he gazed up at the heavens.

I mentally mapped out all of the constellations above our head, "Can you find Sirius?"

"Don't mock me, you know I'm terrible with astronomy. You only know them so well because your whole family is up there."

"True," I admitted as I used my free hand to point out the constellation, "He's right there. See?" I gestured the shape of the dog in the night sky, "That's Canis Major."

He leaned closer to me, trying to see what I saw. He squinted and finally seemed to recognize the pattern among the stars, "Oh! I see it. Yeah, that's him alright. Where are you?"

I immediately moved my hand and pointed out the line in the sky that represented my constellation, "There it is. My dragon."

Harry snickered quietly, "Is that what I should call it?"

I turned and shot him an incredulous look, "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. But you're the one that wants to marry me."

"Merlin's beard, you're going to say that every time I give you crap for being weird aren't you?"

"You bet. 'You're the one who wants to marry me' and then after we're married 'not my fault you married me'."

"Oh, what have I done?" I laughed, "You have more to use against me now."

He smiled and turned to look at me. We were so close together now. He had seemed to have something he wanted to say, but had forgotten it. Our smiles slowly faded and again we forgot our worries and cares. We both rolled onto our sides and our arms wrapped around each other as we began to kiss heavily again. Another breeze stirred by a few minutes later and sent a different sort of chill down our spines. We both shuddered and pulled back.

"Let's continue this at home instead," Harry suggested with a little smirk.

"Agreed," I murmured as I sat up and got to my feet. He jumped up and apparated us home as fast as he could. I had barely any time to collect myself before he pushed me against the living room wall and kissed me hard. I groaned in surprise and wrapped my arm around his shoulders as he pressed against me. I hadn't expected him to be so ravenous, but apparently a proposal was enough to spark a light in him. He bit hard on my lip and forced a soft noise out of me. I hadn't gotten so hard so fast in ages. He grinded his hips against me, his own hard crotch pressing against mine. I ran a hand through his hair, further messing it up as I held on tight to it. Our mouths thrashed together, tongues lashing as our hearts raced in our chests. He began undoing the button and zipper of my jeans.

I couldn't help but smile and pulled back to murmur against his lips, "Someone's eager."

"I always want to fuck you, but knowing we're going to be getting married made it so much worse." He admitted as he pushed my jeans down to my knees. His hand grabbed at my ass so hard I could already tell it would leave bruises. I let a moan slip out before I pulled his pants down for him. I wriggled my own jeans further down my legs, "Go on then, have your way with me."

"I intend to," He murmured as he pulled my thigh up around his hip. He pressed the head of his cock against my opening. I held onto him tight as he slowly eased in. I whimpered as he pushed all the way in, my breath coming out ragged again. My body tightened around him as he began fucking me. I could feel the sweat beading on my back and chest. He groaned as he thrusted into me. The movements pushed me up and down the wall slightly. I realized then, as he stimulated the sweet spot within me, that this was what I had to look forward to. I couldn't help but laugh, delighted at the prospect.

"What are you snickering at?" He asked, deliberately digging his nails into my thigh and thrusting a bit harder.

My laugh quickly changed into a shout of pleasure. I panted and tried to regain myself long enough to speak as I caught his eyes again, "I just thought of how great the rest of our lives are going to be. Fucking like this all the time,"

He smiled, "You do realize married couples do not fuck as often as we do."

"We will though,"

"Oh you can bet. After all, how could I ever get tired of this?" He asked as he slammed into me again, pushing so hard against my weak spot that I couldn't help but cry out again. He smiled proudly as he continued to thrust into me. It didn't take much longer for my body to give in on me. My muscles clenched and I came with a low groan. This seemed to be all that he needed to get off as well. His hips bucked into me and he filled me up.

As we caught our breath, he slowly pulled out of me. His cum slowly spilled out of me, drizzling on my thigh. We both sighed peacefully and smiled at each other. He kissed me again, gently this time. We stayed like this for a time, cum covered and sighing half naked. He stepped away from me, letting my leg down. He quietly unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it off my shoulders, putting it aside. I did the same for him. We kicked off the remainder of our clothes and our shoes before heading upstairs into the bathroom. For the second time that day I hopped into the shower, blissfully happier than I had been that morning. The nervous butterflies had been replaced by an overexcited buzzing, like jittery bees. We faced each other as the water poured down onto his head, occasionally splashing me. I ran a hand through his hair and smiled to myself, "It's always weird seeing you without your glasses." He burst into a laugh, "After all this time you still barely recognize me without glasses?"

"Truly," I admitted as I wrapped arm around him and pulled him against my body.

He laughed and kissed me briefly before pulling away. He rested his hand on my chest and smiled as he admired the ring, "Where did you get it?"

"I actually transfigured a flower on the hill to make it," I explained.

His eyes flicked up to me and his eyes widened, "Really?"

"I've been practicing every day for a fortnight."

"That long?"

"Yeah, since I got Molly and Arthur's approval."

His cheeks reddened but I knew it wasn't from the steam, "Y-you asked permission?"

"Of course. I checked with Ron and Hermione too."

He cracked a little smile, "I never would have guessed you to be so formal."

"I wanted to make sure I had your family's approval, what's wrong with that?"

"Not a thing. It's just so sweet. And flattering." He put a hand gently on my hip and pulled me close to kiss me again. It dawned on me that this was a more accurate representation of our future together. Sex was all fine and well, but I knew the truth was we would have far more embraces like this: loving, innocent. I already had plans to spend my life with him, but now it was actually in the works. We were now this much closer to spending our lives together. The prospect of holding and kissing him for the rest of my life made me drunk with joy.

* * *

 _A/N: Merry Christmas and a happy holidays all! I know it's been ages since and update, but I wanted to give you all a wonderful winter gift to make up for it. Hopefully it does! I will have much more time to write in the near future, so look forward to more routine updates!_


	34. Harry's Stress

November 2003

"What do you mean nothing is available? It's nearly a year away."

"Firstly," The woman on the phone said tersely, "Most people book us out two to five years in advance. Secondly, we cannot perform your marriage legally sir." I rolled my eyes and hung up the phone without another word. Completely ridiculous. I stepped out of the phone booth and headed home in the dark cover of early nightfall. I had been calling around to various places to see if there was anywhere for us to get married. So far, I had had absolutely no luck. Mostly because I had forgotten that in the Muggle world two men were not legally able to marry. It wasn't a problem in the wizarding world. The ministry would still issue marriage licenses to same sex couples. Nobody cared. But there was pitifully few places to get married in the wizarding world. Most wizards just opted to marry in their homes in small ceremonies, not unlike Bill and Fleur.

I headed inside with no small amount of agitation, slamming the door behind me. I had only been gone for thirty minutes, but it felt like an eternity that I had been yelling at foolish muggles on the phone. I had decided to take it upon myself to find a venue early on, but I had been putting it off because I had partially expected this difficulty. I had left after dinner to use the phone down the street.

"Didn't go well I take it?" Draco called from the living room. I kicked off my shoes and headed down the hall towards him. I fell onto the sofa beside him. He was reading something, but had the decency to shut it and put it aside as I sat down. He took one look at me before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing is available. We can't even afford to be picky. At this rate if I can get some farmer in Scotland to lend us his barn, I'll take it."

"What's making it such a challenge to find a place?"

"Well, some are difficult because we want to get married in a year. A lot of them are booked years out or something, but not all of them. However, all of them object to our wedding being gay."

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Right. That."

"Exactly."

"Do you think muggles will ever realize that it doesn't matter if two people are in love and of the same sex?"

"One day, but not today."

"Can't we get married at, oh I don't know, Hogwarts?"

"No. Unless you want to move our wedding to the summer when nobody is there. I realize that's where everything happened for us, but it's also where we tried to spit fire at each other on a near daily basis. Aside from our late night rendezvous, was there really any happy memories we had there?"

He sighed, "I suppose not. But most of our happy memories haven't exactly taken place in what could be potential wedding venues."

"I know. It's kind of a major pain in the ass," I whined as I shifted to lay my head in his lap with a discontented sigh. He ran his hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face. He didn't even seem totally aware he was doing it.

"We could always get married at the manor," He said with a bemused smirk.

"Yeah, sure, that'll happen. Your father just got used to the thought of us getting married. Something tells me that he wouldn't be able to stomach us getting married in his house. Not to mention your mother would probably try to put her opinion in every damn decision we make. And on top of that, might be impossible to get the Weasleys and Hermione in the door."

"I know, I know, I was only joking," He said irritably. "I know you're stressed Harry, but things will work themselves out."

"You don't know that," I snapped back.

He rolled his eyes, "We're getting married, if things don't work out and we can't manage an actual wedding — then so be it. Isn't it more important that we just get married?"

"I don't want to just waltz into the Ministry and get a license. I want to be with our families and celebrate this. Why don't you understand that?"

"I do understand that, but there are obstacles that might potentially stop a wedding dead in its tracks. I'm just accepting that it may happen, and I'm okay with it if it does."

"Well I'm not," I sat up and pulled away from him. I was frustrated enough as it was, but now he didn't even seem to care that we had a wedding at all. "I'm gonna make this wedding happen one way or another."

Draco sighed and crossed his arms, "I suppose we could get married at the Burrow if we asked nicely."

"I don't want to get married at the Burrow."

He threw his hands up and stood, turning to face me, "I don't know what you want me to tell you Harry. We're running out of options. Unless you want to only have a dozen people gathered in our living room, I don't see what's left."

"Why are you getting bitchy with me?" I asked angrily, standing up and facing him. "All I want is a wedding, Draco. But you seem to think we don't need one. If we had it your way we would just forego all the tradition, get a license, and tell nobody."

"That's not true, and you know it. You're not listening to what I'm saying, I want a wedding as much as you do. But it's looking like we aren't going to be able to have one," His voice was raising and I realized, vaguely, that mine had been steadily rising as well.

"You don't think I can make this work? You don't have faith in me to fix this?"

"That's not it at all, you're putting words in my mouth!" He shouted, throwing a hand out in frustration. "Would you just stop and listen to me?"

"I am listening, you're saying you don't even want to get married."

"Merlin's fucking beard, no! That's not it at all!"

I could feel my heart racing, but not with anger. It was with panic. It was like watching a match burning up in front of me. Was that all we were? A lit match slowly burning out of existence? Was this how easy it was to tear things apart? I was frustrated and panicked at the same time and my mind didn't seem to know what to do about it, "Tell me the truth, Draco, do you actually want this? To get married?"

A shadow crossed his face and he stared at me blankly for a moment. I could tell he was panicked as well. We hadn't been standing very far apart to begin with, but he closed the gap. A hand on the back of my neck. His mouth pressed hard against mine. The force was so great and unexpected that I stumbled backwards slightly. We fell backwards onto the couch. He straddled me. I could not make my brain operate. It was busy figuring out whether this was absolutely wonderful or completely dreadful. It wasn't as if I just sat there, I went with it, but mostly on instinct. I didn't have to think. I just kissed back. Clothes fell to the floor. His hand slipped down and held me, but he was surprised to get little reaction out of me. I was limp in his hand. It had never happened in my life, and as if I hadn't already been upset and stressed — this was the breaking point. Total mortification washed over my body. I moved away from him, holding my hand out to keep him farther away from me. He pulled away, his hands returning to himself and letting my body go.

I found myself completely unable to breathe. Curled into a ball on the couch in just my underwear, I started gasping for air. "Harry?" His voice murmured. My mind was racing a mile a minute. I didn't want to be doing this, I didn't want angry sex with him. That was what we used to be. That was not what we were supposed to be anymore. It was haunting. I saw flashes of our bitterness in school. I heard his voice screaming through the walls of our home even though he was silent. He was going to grow to hate me again. I was going to grow to hate him again too. It was going to tear us apart. Perhaps he was right to doubt our marriage, maybe we really shouldn't be together. Maybe this was just a trainwreck waiting to happen.

"Harry!" I vaguely felt him move on the couch. The weight of his body disappeared from the cushion. My eyes were screwed shut as the images overwhelmed my mind. His hand grazed my cheek and my eyes flashed open. For a moment my mind blurred and I saw a much younger Draco in front of me — I saw the terror in his face when I showed up at the manor. The moment of recognition, the moment of panic. My eyes modified. The changes were subtle. His skin and hair were a bit darker than they had been then, less pale. A few fine wrinkles were around his eyes and the corners of his mouth. I doubted anyone else would have noticed them. But the panic in his eyes were still there.

"Harry, I need you to sit up. You're going to be okay, but you need to sit up first."

I couldn't move. I tried to move my mouth to communicate this, but the words couldn't come out. I was still too shaken with panic. He managed to sneak a hand under my shoulder and yanked me up right. He leaned me back against the couch and pushed my hair out of my face, feeling my forehead with the back of his hand. He was speaking, but I couldn't process what he was saying. He slipped his wand out of the pocket of the jeans he still had on and summoned something. His pressed his hands on either side of my face and I was able to catch what he was saying as he made me look him in the eyes, "Harry, listen to me, you need to breathe."

Easier said than done. I continued to gasp for air, but very little made it into my lungs. An ice pack hovered into the room, wrapping itself in one of our tea towels. He caught it from the air and pressed it against my forehead, "It's alright, Harry. I'm here. I'll always be here." The coolness on my head and his words seemed to ground me. "Look at me. Concentrate on me." I did as he asked and focused on his eyes. "Breathe," He said soundly, imitating the inhalation and exhalation. I slowly managed to focus myself and make my breath work. In. Out. In. Out.

"Good, there you are. Keep breathing. Stay here," He ordered. He flicked his wand and walked away down the hall. The ice pack stayed against my forehead. I breathed in carefully, focusing on the airflow as best as I could. I had never felt so overwhelmed in my life. This seemed completely ludicrous to me. Of all the things I had faced in my life and it was a stupid argument over a wedding and a limp dick that managed to set me into a spiral? I had managed to regain my sense of self again, and my thoughts had calmed down. My breath was steady again. As I recognized how preposterous the situation was, I started to chuckle. A smile crept across my lips and I burst into laughter as Draco came into the room cradling a cup. He raised an eyebrow as he stood in the doorway, "Was — wait, what's going on here?"

"I faced Voldemort and didn't bat an eye. But a wedding was apparently all I needed to completely lose my sanity. It's funny," I muttered weakly as my smile faded. It was funny and depressing at the same time. He sighed and continued into the room, curled up on the couch beside me. He handed me the cup. I took it and smiled slightly when I realized it was hot chocolate. He took the ice pack away. I took a quiet sip of the liquid chocolate.

"How are you feeling?"

I swallowed the heat with little difficulty, "Less out of it."

"Do you want to tell me what just happened?"

I took a sip without saying anything. He waited patiently, propping an arm up on the couch and looking up at me. I finally had no choice but to answer him, "I'm not entirely sure. I got scared that we were reverting back to our former selves. That we would grow to hate each other again. That's probably why I couldn't — it couldn't — " I sighed as I cut myself off. He knew what I meant. I didn't want to say it out loud.

"It's fine," He assured me, "I shouldn't have jumped on you like that anyway. I just didn't know what to do. It was like you thought I didn't love you. I was scared too. I thought if we — I thought it would help. I didn't think it would make it worse. I'm sorry that it did."

"No, I'm sorry. I don't know why I got so snippy with you. Neither of us are totally to blame, we both helped make things worse."

"But you know what?" He asked as he rested a hand on my knee.

"Hm?" I asked as I sipped at my hot chocolate, relishing the warmth.

"We put it all aside. I don't care how mad you are with me, or how mad I am with you, I will always take care of you."

I downed the last of the cocoa and turned to kiss him. He smirked against my lips and when he pulled away he licked a drop of the hot chocolate off his lips. "I love you." I sighed.

"I love you too."

"Should we try again?" I asked shyly.

He shook his head, "We don't have to."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"You're not just saying that because you think I won't be able to get it up are you?"

"No, I'm not," He assured me, taking my mug away and putting it down on the table. He wrapped an arm around me and moved us around so we were sprawled along the couch, his body spooning mine. His arm was tight around my waist and he held me close. His nose nuzzled against the back of my head and he murmured into my hair, "I just want to hold you."

I smiled to myself and shut my eyes, "You're too good to me."

"No, I'm just the right amount of good. You deserve me as much as I deserve you."

"Fair enough," I murmured. We laid there in relative silence for some time. I thought he might be falling asleep, but he surprised me when he uttered after several minutes, "We're going to make things work, Harry. I promise."

"Us or the wedding?"

"I'm not really worried about us. I know we're going to work out," He spoke with a persuasive conviction. "The wedding will happen and it will be wonderful wherever it is."

"I just wish we could get married at someone's house without there being conflict. It's too problematic to go to the Burrow or the manor," I explained with a sigh.

Draco hummed to himself for a moment.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm thinking."

I smirked, "Well feel free to share whenever you're ready."

"Why don't we buy ourselves a real house? This was never meant to be a permanent place for me. If we want to have kids we're going to need more room anyway."

It was certainly a new idea. We could have a real yard and get married in it. I shifted and flipped over to face him, twining our legs together and wrapping an arm around him. He looked at me a bit anxiously, seemingly filled with nervous excitement as to what I would say.

"Why not? It's not like we can't afford it. We could get married in the yard. Have room for the kids we want to have. I love it. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner." As soon as I stopped talking he kissed me over and over again. I couldn't stop laughing in between kisses, "Are — you — having — fun?"

"Yes! I'm so happy. I'm so fucking happy," He said with a foolish grin as he held me close to him.

* * *

 _A/N: Sorry about the uploading issues! I somehow managed to never post this one and thought I had? Then posted the next chapter without including this one? Anyhow, sorry for any confusion!_


	35. Draco's Promotion

January 2004

Just as I was heading to the break room to change back into my Muggle clothes to walk home, my supervisor stopped me. I immediately felt sick. If he was going to ask me to stay to cover for Patrice again I was going to scream. I wanted to go home to my fiance. I was fed up with covering for her all the time. It made no sense to me how she had made it to the third floor so quickly. She was a terrible worker. On numerous occasions I had had to fix her horrible mistakes that had nearly risked some patients' lives. He seemed to notice the sourness in my expression and laughed, waving his hand, "Don't worry, she's come in for her shift. You don't need to cover for her."

My shoulders relaxed immediately as I went back to changing, putting on my shirt and buttoning it up, "What's the trouble then?"

"No trouble at all, good news, actually."

"Oh? Is it that one witch? Is she still having amortentia hallucinations? What was her name — Katie, right?"

"That's her name, yes. But I'm not here to talk about her."

I shouldered on my winter coat and frowned slightly, "What is it then?"

"I've been thinking about it awhile, and I've discussed it with the other administrators and supervisors; we've all agreed that you deserve a promotion. You're moving up to the fourth floor, with a special assignment to the Janus Thickey ward."

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him dumbfounded. He laughed, "Well, would you like to take the position?"

"Of course!" I finally spit out, reaching out to shake his hand, "You've no idea how much this means. Thank you so much!"

"Not a problem, now get yourself home. We'll see you Monday morning on the fourth floor working your magic, yes?"

"Absolutely, sir. Thank you again, honestly."

"Yeah, yeah, quit buttering me up. Go on," He laughed.

One Week Later

"How are you today, Gilderoy?" I asked as I headed into his room. Unsurprisingly, he was sitting by the window scrawling autographs across a stack of photos of himself. This was his favorite past time. He kept a potion at his side table to prevent his hands from cramping. A bag, halfway filled with these autographed images, sat on the floor beside him. When he was done signing the whole lot, probably around tomorrow morning, I would take the whole sack and clear the autographs so he could keep up his ritual.

"Doing quite well actually!" He said as he perked up in his seat. He didn't put his pen down as he looked up at me coming in the room. He frowned slightly, "You're — Eric, right?"

I smirked and suppressed a laugh, "No. It's Draco. You'll remember next time."

"Ah, yes. Of course. I remember now. You're new. It takes me a little while to remember the new workers on the floor. But I'll get there eventually!" He finally put his pen down and tucked his stack of signed photos in the bag. A box of unsigned ones rested on the wide window sill beside him.

I sat in the chair across from him, "So, even though I'm new, I'm sure you remember how this works?"

"Yes, this much I remember." He assured me as he folded his hands in his lap. "You may begin your examination, Draco."

I checked a couple of boxes on the form in my hands. I jotted down a couple of details and asked as I looked at the parchment, "What's your name?"

"Gilderoy Lockhart. January 26th, 1964. Hogwarts. Ravenclaw. I was and still am a writer, though I was briefly a professor at Hogwarts."

I repeatedly checked boxes off as he continued through the list he had managed to memorize, a sign of his vast improvement since he first arrived in the wing. As I approached the end of the list he stopped answering the unspoken questions and waited for me to ask them, "Can you tell me who the current Minister of Magic is?"

He hummed in thought and glanced out the window to London below, "Cornelius Fudge?"

I took a note and continued on, "Can you tell me what incantation unlocks doors?"

"Wait, wait, is Fudge minister?"

I paused and glanced up, surprised. I had not done this test with him before, it was the first time I was really getting a chance to interact with my patients. Previously I had only come by with food and to pick up his autographs. I blushed slightly and glanced at the form, unsure of what to do. I wasn't sure what was more appropriate in the situation: to tell him the truth or continue on with the questionnaire. I finally sighed and glanced up at him, "Uh, no. Current Minister of Magic is Kingsley Shacklebolt."

Lockhart frowned and muttered a curse under his breath before looking back out the window, "What was the other question?"

"Can you tell me what incantation unlocks doors?"

"Alohomora," He said confidently, smiling to himself.

I checked the box and asked the last question, "What year is it?"

Lockhart frowned and glared out the window at nothing in particular. He grumbled a bit before finally muttering under his breath, "1999?"

"Close," I admitted, "2004."

He grumbled and shook his head, "I can never get the year right."

"You did get the vast majority correct though," I assured him, "Your charts show a very clear improvement over the years. We'll keep up the potion and herbal intakes to further strengthen your memory."

"Thank you, Draco."

"Of course," I said as I stood and headed for the door out of his room. Just as I was about to walk out he turned and added, "That's an odd name." I paused in the door and looked at him curiously, "I suppose it is."

"I think I — no that's silly. Had to be someone else. Nevermind." He said, waving me off. I didn't question it and stepped out of his room. He may someday remember I was his student at Hogwarts, but it would clearly take more time. Grace, my mentor on the floor, was waiting for me outside the room with a clipboard.

"How'd I do?" I asked a bit nervously.

"Not bad. You made the right move in answering his questions. If you had looked a bit more closely at his forms you would have seen he has to know whether he was correct or not. If you had avoided answering or moved on he would have gotten aggravated and lost track of the conversation." She looked up from the clipboard with his file on it, "There is something you ought to know that is not in the form," She murmured under her breath, "Gilderoy really has nowhere to go from here. He knows this deep down and deliberately answers one question wrong every time. You'll notice he never asks when he can go home. He hasn't a home. He likes it here. So most of the medicine we give him are vitamins or placebos at this point."

I raised an eyebrow but I didn't question it. I just nodded and made a mental note, "Got it. Who should I see next?"

She smiled, "Steady as you go, Draco. Why don't you go bring lunch to the incapacitated beds? I don't believe you've met them yet. They're our more permanent residents, even more than Gilderoy. You ought to get to know them. Head on over. Let me know when you're done."

I nodded and headed down the hall. I flicked my wand toward the closet door as I passed it, a few trays floating out of the door as it swung open. The trays floated beside me as I entered the part of the ward with the open beds. I checked the labels on the trays with the clipboards at the foot of each bed. I carefully deposited each tray to the correct bed. I was nearly done with the rounds for the patients, doing my best to memorize the names, when I noticed someone walk past me and into the ward. I glanced up and was startled to see the person was in casual clothes, not a medical uniform. It was a taller man with dark hair carrying flowers. I was on my way to feed the last two patients this man was approaching. Nobody had told me that visitors were allowed or mentioned the policy, so I spoke up, "Excuse me sir?"

He glanced over his shoulder and I jumped slightly, "Neville?"

"Oh, hey, I didn't know you worked up here now. When did that happen? Can't have been very long ago, I'm here quite regularly."

"I — yeah, been here a week now. What are you doing here? I didn't know we allowed visitors."

He smiled sheepishly and glanced down at his flowers, "Not usually. I'm the only one that really comes out to visit." He glanced at the two remaining trays hovering behind me. "Oh, was I interrupting their lunch?"

"Um —"

"It's fine," He insisted, taking out his wand with his free hand and gesturing toward the trays. They floated over to the end tables by the two beds. I glanced at the people occupying them. One was a man, one was a woman. I felt a stone sink into my stomach. "I usually just give them their flowers and talk to them for a moment. I'll be out of your hair briefly, but if you don't mind I'm going to have a few words."

"Right, of course, excuse me," I said quickly before stepping away. I turned around and headed back out into the hall. Grace happened to be walking toward me. She glanced up and smiled, "Ready for more face to face?"

"Um, no. Actually," I pinched the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes, "Would it be possible for me to take the rest of the day off? Something's come up."

"Everything alright?" She asked with growing concern.

I shook my head, "Um. No. I — I,"

She suddenly opened her mouth in understanding and sighed, "You saw Neville."

I looked away from her.

"And you know who he's visiting and why they're here, I presume?"

I nodded briefly, still unable to look her in the eyes.

"Yes I thought something may happen. You can head on home if you like, though I would recommend having a word with him once he's finished talking to them. It might do you both some good. Either way," She said, briefly resting a hand on my shoulder before walking away, "Have a good evening."

I ran a hand through my hair and leaned against the wall, trying to breathe. Neville did not need to explain why he was there, or the significance of the people he was visiting. I knew. Of course I knew. How could I not? I muttered a spell under my breath and flicked my wand at my side. My muggle clothes that had been in my locker several floors below appeared before me and I easily switched the two outfits with another flick of the wrist. I magicked my work clothes away just as Neville walked out of the room, his flowers now absent from his hands.

He didn't notice me and began to walk away toward the stairs. I stood and stepped behind him, "Hey, Neville?"

He looked back at me for the second time that day and smiled, "Oh, I didn't see you there. Are you already off your shift?"

"Took the day off early," I explained briefly, "Do you want to go and grab a drink at the Leaky Cauldron? If you don't have anything else going on today that is,"

Neville smiled and nodded, leading the way back toward the stairs as I followed, "Of course. I got Aberforth to cover the last few classes I had today anyway, so I had no plans to go back to Hogwarts today. You sure it isn't too early to drink?"

I shrugged, "One butterbeer won't kill us I figure."

"Fair enough," He admitted.

"Wait, did you say Aberforth?" I asked sharply. The name had not really registered in my mind right away. I knew vaguely of him, though most of what I knew of him Harry had told me or I had read in Rita Skeeter's garbage book.

"Yeah, you know him?"

"Not personally, isn't he —"

"Albus' brother? Yeah. Minerva struggled to find a good Defence Against the Dark Arts professor for awhile, but she managed to convince Aberforth to take on the position a couple years back. He only agreed to it because she let him keep his goat in his room."

I couldn't help but laugh, "He has a goat?"

"He actually has two or three goats he keeps holed up in there, but whenever Minerva happens to be around he just transfigures the other two into trinkets so she still doesn't know."

We headed out the front door of the hospital a few moments later. A mild drizzle was falling from the dreary clouds above and wetting our hair as we walked through the streets toward the London entrance of the Cauldron. I regretted not wearing my leather jacket as soon as a small breeze cut through my clothes and made my skin shiver. I hated winter so much. Neville held the door of the dark pub open for me. I thanked him quietly as we entered and took a booth in the corner. Butterbeers appeared almost immediately at our table. Neville smiled and nodded toward the bartender appreciatively.

"Does he know you well?" I asked curiously as I picked up my pint.

"Something like that. I used to come here every time I saw my parents. It's been awhile though. I'm sure he's glad to see I'm in better shape than the last time I was here."

"When was the last time?" I asked cautiously.

Neville blinked and his naturally cheery expression faded and darkened, "A few years back. It was the anniversary of their … attack. It was the twentieth anniversary, to be exact. They just happened to be especially off that day. Dad wouldn't wake at all. Mom was upset and agitated. She threw the vase of water across the room and started sobbing. She sounded like she was trying to say my name, but couldn't get it out. I had to leave. I couldn't handle it. So I came here and got blackout drunk. Tom had to put me up in the room upstairs and watch me through the night. I apparently told him everything about them in my drunken state. He saw to it that I got home alright the next day and helped nurse my hangover with a potion of his. So, it's no wonder that he's giving us the butterbeer without our needing to ask."

I set my glass down and folded my arms on the table in front of me, "Neville, I —"

"I know what you're going to say," He interrupted, setting his own butterbeer aside, "You don't have to apologize for your family's crimes."

I shook my head, "Yes, actually, I do. I'm so sorry for the pain my family has caused yours. It's not fair and it's not right. I have done everything I can to make up for the cruel actions of my family."

"Draco," Neville was shaking his head as he spoke, "You can't burden yourself with the guilt of every single bad thing your family has ever done. There's no need to be Atlas here."

"Who's Atlas?"

Neville smiled, "An old muggle myth Hannah told me about. Her mum's a muggle and she just loves these ancient tales from Greece. Anyway, Atlas was this great titan of some kind who was punished for fighting on the wrong side of a battle. His punishment was to hold up the entire sky on his shoulders." He paused to sip at his butterbeer, "My point is that you can't keep shouldering all this guilt. Did you make mistakes? Of course you did. But you did not personally see to it that my parents were tortured. You had no involvement in that, and frankly most of the crimes your family has committed you had no part of. You cannot blame yourself for what they have done. Do you think Hermione blames you for the torture she endured from your aunt?"

I mumbled, "No."

"It's the exact same principle. I can't blame you for what she did to my parents, there's nothing you could have done to intervene."

I sighed and grabbed for my butterbeer again, quietly drinking the saccharine beverage, "But I should have intervened with Hermione."

"Shoulda, woulda, coulda. The point is, it is not your fault that your family made some horrible choices and hurt people and families. You never actually harmed anyone. You need to start cutting yourself some slack."

I put my half empty pint down and wiped the foam off my mouth. I glanced up at Neville for the first time in awhile. He smiled. I relented with a sigh, "You may have a point."

"Of course I do. I'm a professor. I know everything."

I cracked a smirk and rolled my eyes, "Oh don't go pulling that every time you think of something clever."

"I can't help it. It's too much fun. I feel like a pompous Ravenclaw, flaunting my knowledge to any who will still listen."

This actually managed to get a real laugh out of me. Despite how many years it had been since we were in school, it was still all too easy to tease the other houses. The rivalry that had once existed when we were kids had devolved into more of a mild mockery in the past few years, at least with the other three houses. Slytherin was still generally mistrusted. I was fairly certain all of Harry's friends thought of me as the exception to the Slytherin rule, rather than the norm. Granted, I often thought of them as the exception to the rule that all Gryffindors are pig headed and careless.

With my admission of needless guilt out of the way, we managed to ease back and just chat for awhile. It had been some time since the two of us had had a chance to catch up. We saw each other now and again, usually in the form of double dates with Harry and Hannah. Neville and I rarely got to sit down and just be friendly. Out of all of Harry's school friends, Neville was ironically the one that I had found myself most drawn to lately. Ron and Hermione had grown on me, and I was deeply appreciative that they had grown to like me as well. While I could talk about muggle things with Hermione and wizarding things with Ron, nobody quite understood who I was (other than Harry) like Neville did. Unlike Ron and Hermione, Neville had assumed the best about me upon meeting again after the war. Despite the foolish mistakes I had made, he had been the quickest to forgive me. Our conversation today proved again his unending ability to forgive.

"So how's the wedding planning going?"

I stifled a groan of irritation.

He smiled sympathetically, "Not well then I take it?"

"Well, it was a mess for awhile. We didn't have a place to have the wedding. Not many options in the wizarding world and all the muggles don't allow two men to marry. We finally decided it would just be easier if we bought our own place and got married there, in the yard."

His eyes widened in surprise, "You're buying a house together?"

"Yeah, is it any surprise? We've already lived together for awhile, we know we won't have any trouble with it."

"It's still a milestone. So wedding gifts can double as housewarming gifts, yes?"

"Of course. I wouldn't want anyone getting us both. In fact, I keep trying to insist nobody should get us gifts at all. Harry agrees with me. But Molly won't hear about it, neither will Hermione. It's quite annoying."

Neville smiled, "Oh you'll be fine. Just try not to feel guilty that people are getting you things, okay?"

"I suppose I can try not to." I admitted. The wedding was still ten months away, but I was already getting excited for it. The house had already been picked out and we were just finalizing some paperwork and inspections before we could move in next month. Some of the larger elements of planning the wedding had yet to be settled (we were still bickering over whether or not to bother with a color scheme) but we weren't worried. Ten months was plenty of time to arrange things. But it dawned on me that there was a very simple task that I still needed to do. My eyes widened as the thought struck me and a smile slowly spread across my face.

"Draco, I know you're not evil, but that is still a very spooky look." Neville said uneasily.

"I just had a wonderful thought,"

"From the looks of it a wonderfully menacing thought."

"No, no, not at all."

"Well out with it then, what is it?"

"Neville, how would you like to be my best man?"

He didn't respond right away. He just frowned over his glass and looked at me curiously, "Come again?"

"Ron is going to be Harry's best man, obviously, but I don't have one for myself yet. There's nobody I would trust more for that job than you." I spoke a bit quickly, my excitement building and growing.

Neville's expression slowly shifted into surprise and delight, "I — I would be happy to."

"You seem surprised,"

"I guess I hadn't realized that I meant that much to you. I just always assumed you liked Ron or Hermione more. Most people do anyway, and who can blame them?"

"That's preposterous, Neville," I insisted strongly, "Yes I like them. Yes I get along with them just fine now. But you're the one who helped me out last year when I was in a rough patch. You're the one who did not make assumptions about me. You always gave me the benefit of the doubt, the second chance I've always needed. You and Harry were the only people to have faith in me after the war."

His cheeks flushed a bit pink and he shrugged the compliments off sheepishly, "If you say so. Anyway, I should get heading home. Hannah will be wanting me to make dinner at any minute. If she hasn't eaten by 5:30 she gets cranky."

"You realize you're dating an old woman right? Who eats by 5:30 these days?"

He shrugged, "My girlfriend apparently. Anyway, let me know if you need anything for the wedding then. I suppose I'm at your beck and call now."

"Pretty much. But you and Ron can suffer through it together."

"When's the wedding then?"

"October."

"You nervous?" He asked as he sidled over toward the back of the bar where the fireplace was, clearly planning on getting back to Hogwarts via floo powder.

"Only a little. Say hi to Hannah for me, will you?" I said as I backed away toward the front door out to the street.

"I will. Do the same for Harry, alright?" He said with a final wave as I headed out the door.


	36. Harry's Ceremony

**A/N: I know, it's been ages. I've been dreadful at updating. But trust me, it should be worth the wait. You get two chapters for the price of one!**

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October 9th, 2004

 _7:09 a.m._

"The alarm went off a while ago," I mumbled into my pillow.

"Mmm, I don't care," Draco replied, tightening his grip around my waist. When the alarm clock had gone off on my nightstand some minutes ago, he had shouted in irritation and curled around me. Now, consequently, he wouldn't hear a word about letting go of me or getting out of bed.

"Draco."

"Hm?"

"We're getting married today."

"I know."

"So perhaps we should get out of bed so we can get everything in order?"

"No."

"Draco, I'll not have your father coming into our home expecting a wedding only to find the two of us curled up in bed, completely naked," I said with a mild tone of irritation.

His muscles around me relaxed and he finally rolled away from me, "Why do we have to get up so early though?" He flipped his legs over the side of the bed and ran a hand through his hair that I had messed up the night before.

"Because there's a lot to get done today," I reminded him as I leaped out of bed. I walked over to his side and offered him my hand. He took my hand and pulled himself up by my grip. He pulled himself in and kissed me a bit aggressively. I pulled away, "No. No sex until tonight."

He guffawed, "Why not?"

"Because. Tradition."

"Not that bloody word again," He complained as I moved away. "I'm so sick of you saying that. 'Tradition' this and 'tradition' that."

"Quit your bitching. Are you going to take a shower with me or not? It would be a waste of time for us to take turns," I pointed out as I stepped into the attached bathroom that had come with our lovely new home. I sat on the edge of the wide tub and turned the faucet on, grateful that the water ran hot almost instantly. Just as I pulled the lever to turn the shower on and stood up I felt his hands on my hips and his chin on my shoulder. I smiled to myself as he kissed along my neck. He murmured in my ear, "Pretty please?"

"No," I insisted.

"Oh come on!" He whined.

I laughed as I yanked him into the shower with me, "You will survive a few more hours without this dick. I have faith in your willpower." I moved under the stream of water and shook my hair out underneath it. While the water streamed down my face and forced me to shut my eyes, I felt his hands on my waist pulling me around so that he could get some water. I snickered and let him get wet as I washed my hair.

"You know, for someone preaching tradition we aren't exactly doing the actual marriage part traditionally," Draco commented as we switched sides.

"Oh yeah? How do you figure?"

"Well, for starters, we aren't taking last names. We're just keeping our own."

"True, that is unconventional," I admitted as I pulled him back under the water.

"And we're not getting married anywhere fancy, we're just marrying in our backyard."

"Yes, I suppose. But I still want to keep up some semblance of tradition here and there," I explained as he rinsed out the last of the soap from his hair. "So humor me, please."

He rested his hands on my cheeks and leaned forward to kiss my forehead, "Fine. If you insist, I will try not to nag you for your love of tradition."

"Thank you sweetheart," I murmured as I picked up a bottle of liquid soap. I lathered it between my hands and smiled at him, "Okay, so we can't have sex, but I'm definitely still gonna tease the hell out of you." I said before running my soapy hands down his chest.

He rolled his eyes, "Sometimes I wonder how people thought _I_ was the evil one."

I couldn't help but snicker at this as I cleaned his body off, deliberately not touching any of his genitalia. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him get frustrated, taking my sweet time. But I could only drag it out so long before he pulled away and rinsed himself clean. He pulled himself close to me just as quickly and kissed along my neck and murmured in my ear, "You're gonna regret doing that."

"Mm, why's that?"

"Because it's my turn now," He explained as he returned the favor. He massaged the sea-scented soap across my chest and carefully down my arms. I shrugged casually, "Oh, that's nothing." He smiled to himself and leaned in so close we were nose to nose. He innocently kissed my nose and surprised me by sinking to his knees. I looked down at him and sighed. He was using his sex eyes to torture me. He touched as close as he could without getting near my growing erection.

"You sure you want to still follow that silly tradition? I mean, technically it wouldn't really count as fucking you if I sucked you off," He said innocently.

"Yes, I'm sure. Get up here."

He reluctantly stood and I moved away from him, moving underneath the water to rinse it all off. I reached behind me and turned the dial slightly until the water ran cool. It managed to force my libido to settle down. He rolled his eyes as he pulled back the curtain and grabbed our towels, "You really are no fun."

"You're about to marry me, you're going to have to get used to it."

He ruffled his hair in the towel and smiled, "I suppose I can put up with it."

 _1:17 p.m._

"Eat. Now," Ron insisted, dropping a plate on our dining table. A rather sad looking sandwich waited for me in the middle of the dish.

"We still don't have anything set up and guests are going to start showing up at two o'clock, Ron. We still don't have the cake set up either, everything gone to pieces —"

"Oh Merlin's beard, I didn't want to have to do this," Ron muttered as he grabbed me by my shoulders and walked me across the kitchen toward the table. I tried to fight him, but he was stronger than I was. He managed to sit me down at the table. He leaned down and looked me in the eye. He looked absolutely livid. I hadn't seen him this cross since he freaked out over me dating Draco in the first place. He pointed at the sandwich but did not look away from me, "Eat the fucking sandwich or I will have to use the imperius curse on you and make you eat it."

"You'd get fired, you're not going to —"

"Don't test me Harry James Potter. I will do what I have to do," He said ominously.

He sounded like Hermione. I knew better than to see if he was serious or not. I nodded and picked the sandwich up. I glanced at him. He nodded. I reluctantly took a bite of the sad excuse for a sandwich. He relaxed so quickly it was like a light switch had been flipped, "Alright. Now, you let me and Neville worry about the problems. You sit and eat." He turned and shouted over his shoulder into the living room, "Oi! Neville! How's he doing in there?"

Neville appeared in the doorway in his suit and tie, "Considerably better than Harry. He's willingly and gladly eating food and not panicking excessively."

As I ate my sandwich I watched my friends busy themselves about the house as they fixed things up. Everyone was already in the proper attire, the women having just finished doing their hair half an hour ago. I turned in my seat and looked through the sliding glass doors behind me that lead out to our yard. It was an abnormally large backyard for this area, but it was just what we needed. I watched Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys putting everything in order. Chairs floated about the air and assembled themselves in neat little rows. Charlie flicked his wrist and the birch altar fixture was filled with white lillies. Ron and Neville were discussing the methods in which everyone was arriving to the wedding. Some were arriving via floo powder, others via portkeys. Given that only our closest friends had seen the brand new home so far, most were unable to apparate.

Ron leaned toward Neville and murmured something. Neville glanced back at the living room he had just walked out from and whispered a response I could not make out. I suddenly grew paranoid. I could tell they were talking about Draco.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Ron glanced at me, "No concern of yours."

"It's my damn wedding day," I started to say furiously through a mouthful of chewed up bread and meat. "I have a right to —"

Neville slipped his wand out of his pocket and without hesitation waved it in my direction, " _Silencio_ ,"

My voice disappeared in my throat. I felt my vocal cords tremble, but no noise was produced. I ate the last bit of the food that had been forced on me and crossed my arms. I moved my mouth, silently cursing the two of them out as they milled about.

"Yeah, yeah, Harry. We don't really care," Ron said casually as he turned back to Neville, "Okay, so everything's set up. Looks like mum and Fleur have got the cake going out there," I glanced outside and saw that indeed the two of them were completing some pretty outstanding magic; a large cake was assembling itself on a small table on the edge of the yard. "Everything else is set up. Everyone is dressed and prepared for the ceremony. The rings?"

Neville retrieved a small box from his other pocket. A light shake indicated the rings were waiting within. I glanced at my left hand. My engagement ring was waiting in the box. We didn't feel it was necessary to invest in another round of rings. I had painstakingly crafted Draco's ring by transfiguring a forget-me-not into a similar silver band.

"And transportation to get the guests here has been solidified," Ron continued as Neville pocketed the ring box. "As for the reception, mum's already volunteered to take care of the food. Says she can have it done in the blink of an eye. Got a couple barrels of butterbeer lined up in the basement for the reception as well."

"Only a couple? Hagrid alone will drink them dry," Neville laughed.

"Oh, he's got his own supply he can drain."

"Speaking of which, people should be arriving any minute. Do you think we should let Harry go? I don't think he has anything left to panic over," Neville looked my way with an amused smile.

Ron turned and looked at me, "Well? Are you satisfied Harry? You've nothing to worry about. All that's left is the actual wedding. If you whine one more time though, we're going to have to remove your mouth completely," He warned before taking out his wand, " _Finite incantatem_ ,"

I sighed and cast them both an irritable look, "You're both dicks."

"Oh, quit your whining. You'll be grateful we made you eat in the long run. Now, why don't you and Draco go and wait upstairs until everyone's here and seated. I'll come and get you when we're ready for you," Ron instructed.

I sighed and walked past Ron and Neville into the living room. The fireplace was soon going to be aglow with green flames as people began to arrive. People would be popping in with their portkeys in a matter of minutes. But all I cared about right now was the sight of Draco, sitting calmly on the edge of the sofa across the room from me. An empty plate was sitting on the coffee table. He looked up at me and smiled ever so slightly. He always looked beautiful to me, but today he especially astounded me. Given his fondness of suits, he had gone all out for this one. The entire thing was hand tailored, fitting to his body perfectly. He had actually opted for a white shirt, instead of black, allowing his tie to actually be visible against the staunch white shirt. "Everything okay?" He asked cautiously. "I thought tradition said it was bad luck to see me before the wedding?"

"First of all, that's brides. Secondly, Ron and Neville have decided we need to wait at their beck and call while the guests arrive. They want us to wait upstairs for them," I tilted my head toward the stairs just beside us, "Come on."

"Wanna race?" He asked with a whimsical grin spreading on his lips.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile, "Yeah, sure. Why not?" Without waiting for him to get up I turned to the stairs and started charging up them. I heard him shout in surprise and his footsteps pounded on the wood just behind me. It didn't take long for me to get to the landing on the second floor. I threw my hands up in the air and whooped, "I win!" Within a few seconds he was beside me and shaking his head, "You cheated."

I put a hand on my chest and stared at him with wide eyes, "Me? Preposterous."

He laughed and rested a hand on my back, "You're such an arse."

"I mean, it's not too late to back out. You don't have to marry me," I pointed out.

He stood close to me as we caught our breath. His eyes glanced over my face and his smile softened into just a slight upturn of his lips, "I think I can handle your occasional tendency to be an arse, so long as you can accept the fact that I'm the same way."

"I think I can," I assured him. I reached out and took his hands in mine. For a moment, we just stared at each other, ignoring the sounds of people appearing and milling about in the living room below.

His thumb gently brushed the back of my hand. He chuckled to himself.

"What is it?" I asked, always anxious to know what made him smile or laugh out of nowhere.

He grinned wickedly as he looked me in the eyes. He raised an eyebrow, "Scared, Potter?"

I snorted a laugh before muttering, "You wish." He leaned in to kiss me, but I put a finger to his lips, "No, we should wait. We'll kiss in a minute anyway. It'll be more exciting then anyway."

"I don't want to wait anymore."

"You can survive another, what, ten minutes?"

"Barely," He whined, resting a hand on my jaw. His eyes kept glancing down to my lips and I knew he was resisting the urge. Our eyes met again and he confessed, "I may be just a tiny bit nervous."

"Oh? And why's that?"

"What if — what if I screw up?" He asked gently.

"I certainly hope you've already memorized your vows."

He shook his head, but did not crack a smile like I had been hoping he would, "That's not what I meant. What if I screw up at being a husband?"

"There's a good chance we will both screw up. We are both imperfect human beings. When that does inevitably happen, we will overcome it. That's what marriage is all about, right?" I reminded him. He nodded. We stood there briefly, glancing down the stairs and listening to the mingling voices. Unintentionally, we started to play a game of trying to name who was speaking.

"I would never have expected Draco to purchase such a … quaint house." A cold dull voice spoke from the living room out of sight below.

Draco rolled his eyes as he mouthed, "Dad."

"Can't say anything nice can you Lucius?" A female voice responded cheerfully.

I smiled and murmured, "Andromeda."

"Can we try to be civil today? Let's just take our seats outside. If you wouldn't mind showing us the way, Mr. Weasley." A woman said cooly.

Draco and I exchanged a surprised look. He mouthed "Mom?" at the same time that I mouthed, "Narcissa!"

"You can call me Ron, ma'am. Thank you though. Right this way."

Footsteps lead to a moment of silence before we heard the fire blaze loudly and a pair of footsteps milling around the living room. "Huh. I always knew Harry would end up letting Draco do the decorating."

Draco and I exchanged a look and mumbled, "Ginny."

"Well, Draco has nice taste then. I like it here," A male voice echoed.

Draco wore a smug look on his face as I muttered, "Terry." About a year after we had broken up, word came that Ginny had started seeing Terry Boot on a regular basis. They were smitten with each other, and neither Draco or I hesitated to invite them both to the wedding. We listened as Ron reappeared and greeted his sister and her date before leading them off to the yard. Several more voices filled the room, clearly having entered via portkey. We both immediately recognized the voices of Hagrid, Minerva McGonagall, Horace Slughorn, Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Aberforth. They were followed by Dean and Seamus, who were blaming each other for being later than they meant to be. When they were shuffled off, another portkey landed as a cadence of voices came into the room shortly thereafter. I smiled to myself as a Scotsman's voice commented, "Y'know, I always thought that Draco character was a slimy git, but if Harry trusts him, I trust him too."

"I should hope so. Maybe don't let either of them hear you say that though," A female voice responded.

"Yeah, Oliver, practically everyone here thought it at some point or another. You don't need to openly acknowledge it, that would just be rude," A second female responded.

My old teammates from Quidditch had managed to make it together: Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, and Oliver Wood himself. I wanted to run down the stairs and catch up with them, but I knew that would have to wait until the reception. We listened to them gab over Quidditch briefly before they were shuffled off by Ron and Neville. A few beats later there was a soft knock at the door. Draco turned and looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "Do you know who that could be?"

I glanced at the door at the foot of the stairs, "I have an idea." I turned back to Draco and kissed his cheek, "I'm going to get the door. I'm pretty sure that's our last guest, so it's going to be my turn to go out next. I'll see you down there."

He sighed and nodded, "Alright."

I turned and started down the stairs. I only got a few steps before Draco called back to me. I glanced over my shoulder, "Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," I smiled before heading down the rest of the stairs and opening the door.

Dudley Dursley stood shyly on my doorstep with a skinny man beside him. He had changed a lot since I had last seen him. He had grown quite a bit of facial hair along his jaw and upper lip and had lost weight. He had built up what appeared to be quite a bit of muscle. The man beside him contrasted radically to him and looked like he could blow over in a strong breeze. He appeared physically incapable of growing facial hair.

"Hi, Harry. Er, I got your invite. Did you get my response?"

"Yes, I did. It's good to see you, Dudley. Come on in, the ceremony is just in the yard. Should be starting in a minute or two." I stepped aside to allow them to step in. "Just follow me."

They followed behind me quietly, aside from Dudley muttering, "I hope it's okay I brought a date. This is Timothy."

I glanced over my shoulder at the thin brunette, "Nice to meet you. Not a problem. We've got plenty of seats." I lead them through to the kitchen where Ron had just popped inside. "Would you mind finding them a spot, Ron?"

"Uh, sure. I was just about to come and get you." He gestured Dudley and Timothy out the glass doors and pointed toward the last few seats. They vanished from my sight as they sat. Ron stood in the doorway but faced me, "Alright, I'm going to go stand up there with Neville in a minute. Mum is right on the other side of this door, waiting to walk you up to the altar. Just give me time to get up there myself, okay?" He said with a little smile. He raised a bright red eyebrow, "How are you feeling?"

"Ecstatic, if I'm being honest."

"Good, that's the right answer. I'll see you out there then. One last hug as a free man?" He asked with a playful smile. I held my dear friend close before he had to let go and head outside. I counted down from sixty in my head, giving Ron time to make it to the altar. It was the first moment I had really had to myself all day. I shut my eyes briefly and inhaled for several beats. I held my breath. This was going to be one of the best days of my life. I let the breath go. Even if today was not perfect, it was undoubtedly going to be the start to a wonderful life together with Draco. I reached zero and walked forward.

The doors were already open for me. Molly was waiting as Ron had explained. Music was playing through the air, coming from an enchanted harp off to the side. Our small group of friends turned in their seats and faced me. I couldn't look at them, I suddenly was terrified. I looked right at Mrs. Weasley. As always, she gave me a look of total confidence and reassurance. She reached her arm out for me. I smiled and hooked my arm into hers as she walked down the aisle with me. The path ahead had seemed so long, but I made it up to the altar faster than I had expected. She let me go and sat in the front row. I took my place beside Ron who gave me a reassuring smile. I looked up and saw Narcissa duck inside the house briefly. She reappeared and waited patiently by the door for her son to exit.

The sun was so bright above that I couldn't see him walk past the glass. I didn't see him until he stepped out and took his mother's arm. In that moment it felt like all the oxygen in the world had vanished, or that my lungs had suddenly not needed it anymore. Despite having only seen him moments ago, he somehow looked different in this bright light. How had I not noticed until now how his hair had darkened in the past few years? I met his eyes as he walked forward. The guests, our groomsmen, they all vanished. Even Hagrid, who was taking up two seats in the back and already appeared to be crying, managed to vanish from my sight. For a split second I remembered the first time I had laid eyes on Draco. It amazed me how much he had transformed and evolved since then. The man who was taking his place before me was nothing like the boy I had resented in our school years. He was leagues above and beyond that silly boy. We reached out and took each other's hands the same way we had in the house just moments before.

Luna's voice beside us startled me back into reality. For a moment I had forgotten we had gotten her to be our officiant. She had actually volunteered for the job when we sent out the wedding invites. Apparently, on a whim, she had become a registered officiant a few years back. Neither Draco or I bothered to question why she would, we just agreed to have her on.

"Welcome friends, family, and esteemed guests. We're all gathered here on this gorgeous day to celebrate the marriage of Harry and Draco. Today you will not hear any ancient, repetitive wedding vows. There may be rings and tradition steeped in many parts of the proceedings today, but these are not the parts that truly count. They are mere symbols for the truth of what today will mean for these men. Today is about love. A true magic that goes far beyond anything that we can conjure with a wand. Let their commitment to loving each other be a reminder to us all that love is utterly blind. Despite the differences that seem to divide humans, love is what will always connect us. Through the darkest times in our lives and our history, love has been there to guide us. It is a force strong enough to persevere through trial and hardship, but flexible enough to shift and bend as needed. In short, love is undying and unending. The marriage you are about to witness between Harry and Draco is a symbol of that very love," She took a brief pause before speaking to the crowd, "The rings may be presented now."

I expected Neville to retrieve the box from his suit pocket and hand them to Luna. Instead, a single lily flower from the altar behind us shed two single petals. Resting upon them were the rings. They floated down gently through the air and rested before us. I cast a glance behind Draco at Neville who looked immensely proud of himself. It was a beautiful bit of magic I had never expected him to be capable of.

"Draco, if you would like to begin," Luna spoke softly, "You may recite your vows and place the ring upon Harry's left hand."

We had hardly looked away from each other this whole time. Something in his gaze shifted slightly. It suddenly felt as if we were just lying in bed, whispering sweet nothings to each other. It felt far more intimate than I had ever imagined it being.

"Harry," He breathed out softly, "Your name has always given me a thrill. I had been eager to meet you most of my life, dying to know the famous Harry Potter as much as any other. I never would have suspected we would clash immediately. But despite that, your name still had an effect on me. Perhaps not always in the way I expected or intended it to. Even when we were at the greatest of tensions, I was still enamored with you. To this day, I still somewhat suspect you slipped me a love potion when I wasn't looking all those years ago and it was simply the strongest potion ever made." He paused with a smile for our crowd of friends to laugh gently, "In all seriousness, I do not know where I would be today without you. In all likelihood, if it were not for you I would not be alive right now. Aside from owing you my life, I owe you a great deal of happiness that you have brought me. In the past few years I have smiled so much that it hurt, laughed so hard I cried, and felt such tremendous love that it was practically bursting from the seams. I cannot imagine my life without you. You have always been such a huge part of my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Despite our tricky beginning, I would never change a thing about our past. It has lead us to where we are today. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Harry, I take you to be my husband today and everyday after, with every intention to cherish your strengths and weaknesses every step of the way."

He finally looked away, only long enough to delicately grab the ring from the lily petal. He held my left hand in his and gently slid the ring onto my hand, "This I vow to you." As he placed the ring on my hand I made no effort to hide the tears that were welled up in my eyes.

I glanced at Luna who was smiling and also looking a bit emotional, "With that being said, Harry," She nodded toward me, "You may deliver your vows and place Draco's ring on his left hand."

I turned my eyes back to Draco and smiled, chuckling slightly, "Well, thanks for making my job twice as hard. I don't know how I can follow that." I could vaguely hear multiple guests snort with laughter as I squeezed Draco's hands in mine. I took a deep breath and began, "Draco, I so badly want to tell you that I have been dazzled by you since the day we met as well. But we both know the truth is that I hated you from the get go." An expected laugh rippled through the crowd. I noted that Ron was trying not to snicker too loudly behind me. "Luckily, things change with time. I don't think anybody here could have foreseen this. But I am blessed to have been capable of such a change. It allowed me to see the man you truly are beneath all the titles and labels you had acquired, and you astounded me immediately. Your ability to love so ardently and care so deeply are both incredibly invaluable to me. You have forever changed me, and I could never go back to the way I felt before. Draco, I take you as my husband with the solemn promise to value and respect every piece of who you are from this day on." I let go of his hand only long enough to carefully lift his ring off of the last remaining lily petal. Once it had been lifted, the petals slowly cascaded to the ground below.

I held Draco's left hand easily in mine as I slid the ring down onto his finger, surprised at the relative warmth of the metal. "This I vow to you."

Luna began to speak but I couldn't look away from him again. He looked so undeniably happy and it filled me with more joy than I already possessed in that moment. "With your vows of eternal love exchanged along with the rings that symbolize said love, it is my immense pleasure to pronounce the two of you to be officially married. You may kiss to seal your union."

We both leaned forward, our lips meeting in the middle. More than anything, I wanted this kiss to last and be as passionate as I felt inside. But we both knew it would have to wait. Instead, we pecked innocently for a brief moment before parting and turning to our family and friends as they all stood and applauded.

 _5:45 p.m._

The whole yard had been converted and was barely recognizable from the ceremony that had taken place a couple hours before. A couple of small tables and chairs littered the yard, surrounding a large dance floor that had been transfigured right into the ground. Despite the relatively early hour, it was beginning to get dark out. A few fairy lights floated around in the air. The neighborhood we lived in was a mixed muggle and wizard area, but enchantments protected our property from muggles noticing anything magical.

Everyone was well fed and the drinks were beginning to make their way around the yard, bottles of wine and champagne dancing from one table to the next. Hagrid had a massive goblet and his own kegs of butterbeer to drink from. Draco and I had already had a few nips of drinks here and there, but for the most part were still pleasantly level headed. It was beginning to get quiet as people settled their conversations. So I took the opportunity to take Draco's hand in mine. He didn't react until I stood and hauled him along with me, "Come on," I murmured when I saw the look of apprehension cross his face. He hadn't wanted to dance. I had insisted it was tradition. Neville saw us moving toward the empty floor and stood to loudly pronounce to the crowd of witches and wizards, "If you turn your attention to center stage, the grooms will now have their first dance together."

"I cannot believe you talked me into this," Draco muttered as we stepped onto the wood floor in the middle of our yard.

"It just goes to show how much you love me," I said as I put my hand on his shoulder.

He sighed as his hand found my waist, "I really do love you. I don't fancy public humiliation, you know this." The music began to filter through the air via magical means and he easily lead me about the floor.

"I don't know what you're talking about public humiliation for, you're doing just fine. We did practice this about fifty times though, per your request, so I don't know why you still think you're not good at it," I reminded him with a smirk. There really was no need to have practiced it so much. It was such a slow and easy song that we barely moved at all. It was really so simple, but he had been nervous anyway. I highly suspected it had to do with having an audience more than actually moving his feet to a rhythm. Given our close proximity I kept my eyes on him. He, on the other hand, kept glancing about nervously.

"Draco," I half whispered, "You're fine."

His eyes darted toward mine, "You're sure?"

"There's nobody else here. Just me."

I watched the expression slowly change. His eyes focused in on me and I could tell that he was managing to shut the rest of the world out as we skirted the floor quietly. The music seemed the only company we had in that moment. It was a song I had long since forgotten about until recently. I had insisted on doing this dance, so Draco had made me figure out what song to play all on my own. I anguished between all the good love songs I knew. But none of them quite matched our story, mostly because a lot of them were gendered. Men singing about women was all too easy to find. A love song without pronouns? Much harder. I had ended up choosing the Monkees song "As We Go Along" on a whim, having heard it at a bookshop many months ago. I had just fancied the song, but when I heard it again I found the lyrics oddly appropriate. I ran it by Draco and he was charmed by it and happily agreed to play it. As we finally danced to it at our wedding together, I could not help but think how fortunate I was. I had never been quite so happy before. Of course I had known happiness prior to meeting him, but the warmth I felt throughout my whole system in that moment was so blissful.

"Harry, we can't kiss again in front of my parents," Draco reminded me.

"Who said I was gonna—"

"You keep glancing at my mouth, like you always do."

"Can you blame me?"

"No, because trust me there's nothing more that I want right now but we have to wait until everyone has gone home. Because once we start, you know we won't be able to stop."

"Fair enough." I admitted as the song slowed to an end.

The music slowly transitioned into a Celestina Warbeck song and we both cringed. We both hated her music. But it was not ours to enjoy. I bowed my head to Draco and quickly murmured "Good luck," before turning to face his mother who was heading my way. We had discussed the typical tradition of the bride dancing with the father, and we had both agreed it would be far more entertaining for us to dance with our new mother-in-laws instead.

I nodded politely toward Narcissa as she approached, feeling slightly awkward as I put my hand on her waist. It was the first time that I had spent any time with her since I had formally been introduced to her as Draco's boyfriend. This had little to do with her, and plenty to do with the fact that her husband generally hated my guts.

"Long time no see," I said to break the awkward silence between us.

She smiled sheepishly, "Indeed. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit since you've moved. I had been meaning to, but it's difficult to slip out without Lucius noticing. You know how he is."

I smirked slightly, "I do. How is he doing today?"

"He's — handling it so far." She paused and looked at me with a sort of motherly concern I had only seen her express toward Draco, "Harry, I want you to know that no matter how much my husband might struggle with this, I don't. You know I fully support you and my son."

"Yes, I know, don't worry," I assured her.

She visibly relaxed and her concerned expression was replaced with a weak smile, "I'm very proud to say that you're a part of my family now. I doubt if anyone could love Draco like you do, and I'm eternally grateful for that. All I've ever wanted was his happiness."

I felt my cheeks burn with humility. I hadn't realized how strongly Narcissa felt about me, "Well, I certainly hope to continue making him happy."

"I know that you will," She spoke with conviction.

"Does your husband doubt my ability to make Draco happy?" I asked, unable to shake the thoughts of Lucius.

She sighed softly, "He can't decide what to make of you. It goes against everything he has ever understood to trust you at all. That unfortunate raid destroyed the progress that I had made in convincing him that you are good for Draco."

"I was hoping that he would have let that go after all this time."

"He doesn't exactly give up grudges easily," Narcissa pointed out, "But I know that with just a little more time and patience he will see things for what they are."

"One can only hope," I muttered as I chanced a glance toward their table. Lucius was looking incredibly distraught as he held a tumbler full of firewhiskey. A couple empty tumblers were resting on the table. My eyes were forced to look away as we turned away from him in our dance. "Well, at least I have one in-law who likes me."

She laughed, "Don't worry, Harry. I'll always be on your side."

The song concluded and shifted into a new piece. We smiled and parted ways, with a little nod exchanged between the two of us. The floor opened up for the rest of our guests to dance to their heart's content. Unsurprisingly, Luna and her father were quickly on the floor and spinning around like colorful tops in a matter of seconds. As Narcissa and Molly walked off, I glanced towards Draco. He moved towards me, but to my surprise it was not for a dance. He took my hand and pulled us off the floor and toward our table. Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Hannah had all just left the table to go and dance. We sat alone.

Draco sighed as he sat, "I feel like I haven't sat still for days."

"Is it bad that I'm excited just to sleep?"

Draco laughed as he leaned back in his chair lazily, "No, because I am too."

I reached out and rested my hand atop of his on the table. I squeezed ever so slightly and turned to look at him. He was evidently becoming worn out, but he still looked incredibly dapper and handsome. The soft glow of the fairy lights suited his pale skin. I ran my thumb against his hand. I didn't need to voice my affection, he could seem to sense what I was thinking and smiled warmly over at me.

Perhaps an hour later, while we still rested our feet, there was a lull in the music in which Ron took the opportunity to stand in the middle of the dance floor to announce a toast. The room hushed, the music was stopped, and everyone turned to watch him curiously. Draco and I exchanged a look. He seemed nervous, I was mostly amused. This had not been planned.

"You know, if someone had told me five years ago that I would be here today congratulating Harry for marrying Draco - well, I probably would have laughed in their face. But if there's anything I've learned since then, it's that the unexpected is not always such a bad thing. I sincerely believed I could never be at ease with these two being together. But I have been wrong before. Draco has proved himself time and time again in the past five years to be a remarkable, caring, and sincere man. I couldn't have asked for anyone better suited for my best mate," Ron said proudly with a decidedly emotional tone. He lifted his half empty glass of champagne, "To Draco and Harry," He said, the crowd echoing the toast.

He moved to sit down beside us again. I put a hand on his shoulder as he sat, "Thank you, Ron. It means a lot," I murmured quietly. Ron glanced at me and smiled before turning his eyes to Draco. They exchanged some sort of look that I missed entirely. My attention had been instead drawn away by the sound of someone else speaking.

Neville now stood in the midst of the group and began to speak to us. Again, I was rather surprised that these speeches were being made at all. I wondered if they had been planning it all along. Neville, Hermione, and even Molly spoke about how proud and excited they all were of both Draco and I. Well wishes were received as we sat in our seats and blushed. I could sense Draco's embarrassment at being so openly loved. It was unnerving for him. But I could also tell he thoroughly enjoyed it.

When Hagrid finished drunkenly talking about how he would never forget how Draco got us in trouble with Norbert the dragon, it seemed all the speeches were done. Someone began to bring the music to a start again. But it was abruptly cut off when Lucius Malfoy stood. Draco and I visibly tensed.


	37. Draco's Resolve

**A/N: Please be sure to read the first part of this chapter in Chapter 36!**

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October 9th, 2004

"Well, isn't this lovely? Everyone seems to have such sweet, kind words! The famous Harry Potter, our world's hero two times over, managed to reform a Death Eater! Truly, a magnificent trick. I'm still rather convinced it's an extremely powerful confundus charm, or perhaps a well brewed love potion. But we all know potions was never Potter's strong suit, eh?" The crowd seemed uneasy at him making the same joke that I had made. It was clearly less appropriate coming from him. "No, I must admit that even if magical coercion was uninvolved that this is Potter's finest work. A true accomplishment." Father paused and continued with a frown, "You praise my son for changing his ways, when in reality he is no better than the lot of you: blood traitors. I had hopes for my boy, my only child and heir to the noble house of Malfoy. Yet he has disgraced the name by marrying to a blood traitor, befriending Harry's mudblood friends," He made a grand gesture to Hermione, "And having the ilk of the Weasleys as makeshift in laws." He laughed wickedly with a wild gesture to the table with the most Weasleys seated. Mum reached and took father's arm in her hand and hissed something sharply at him. He didn't even look her way. He simply shook her hand off and continued on his tirade, now speaking directly to me, "Congratulations Draco. You always were a disappointment to the Malfoy name, but now you truly have out done yourself in marrying Potter. I thought you could redeem yourself after the war. But it appears I was wrong." He raised his glass for a second before tipping the last of the firewhiskey into his mouth. He let the tumbler drop to the table. It didn't break. He turned and stormed off into the house. I watched my mother follow behind.

I didn't need to look about to know that everyone was staring at me. I felt utterly paralyzed. I did not think I was capable of movement. Just as I was beginning to consider apparating to the middle of nowhere, Ron stood abruptly and said, "Right, that'll be enough of speeches then. Let's drink a little more and forget that happened, eh?" His wand in his hand at his side flicked and the bottles appeared around them again, eagerly refilling glasses as the music started to play a jaunty tune.

"What do you need?" Harry's voice seemed to be coming from very far away.

"A minute. Some space," I muttered, unable to focus my sight anymore and unable to look in any direction. I could barely move my mouth.

"If you need to go take a minute inside you can."

"Can't move."

There was a pause and then his hand was on my waist as he forced my right arm around his shoulders. He helped me onto my feet. I panicked as I thought of someone worrying that I had been injured if they looked at Harry hauling me to my feet. I made my legs move and stood straight. I pulled away from Harry and muttered a thanks before heading inside. He knew better than to follow. I knew many of our party had turned to see me go. I pretended I didn't care.

I headed inside and immediately turned into the living room to get out of sight. I half expected to see my parents here, but the house was empty. As I sat down on the sofa I noticed a small scrap of paper sitting under a mug on the end table beside me. I tugged it out and recognized my mother's handwriting immediately.

 _I'm so sorry. It's best we leave after what he did. I love you both. I will try and talk to him. Please try and forgive him._

I placed the paper back on the table. I sighed heavily and collapsed onto the couch on my side. I couldn't bear the weight of being his son anymore. I was a shame and a disgrace. That much he had made clear. I wiggled out of the suspenders digging into my shoulders. I had shuffled the jacket off onto the back of my chair awhile ago. I wanted nothing more than to forget this had happened. Hadn't Harry mentioned that Hermione had an eerie ability to cast strong Obliviate charms? Perhaps she would be willing to do me the favor. I knew what she would say though, "You can't just remove painful memories, Draco. You need to cope with them in due time."

I stood and started pacing. I didn't know what to do. I reminded myself there was nothing I could do about my father being an ass. He wasn't going to apologize. He never had had to in his whole life, and he wasn't about to start now. I sighed and glanced at a small mirror that rested on the wall. It was purely decorative. But I got a good look at myself. I had more color in my skin than I used to. I looked frazzled. My father saw me as a disappointment. A let down.

"I will never make him happy," I murmured to myself. "There is no point in bending over backwards to please him."

It had never occurred to me before. I don't know where this thought had come from. It was like a spark of insight coming from nowhere. I felt the weight steadily lift from my shoulders. A radical thought occurred shortly after this. I smiled to myself and ran up the stairs in seconds. I ran into the office and scrawled a message on a bit of parchment. I opened the window to the street below. It was dark out now. No Muggle would notice. I turned and nodded to Reg who had been watching me curiously. He flew over to the window sill and looked at me expectantly. I handed him the roll of paper, "To father, Reg. Thank you." I scratched his feathers just behind his ear before he flew off. The note was simple:

 _Father,_

 _Until such a time as you can learn to love me for who I am and who I love, I do not want to speak or communicate with you in any way. I will not step onto Malfoy Manor property until such a time either. I'm more than happy to talk and visit with mother, but neither will occur on your land. If she wishes to see me or talk she can come to our home at any time._

 _Draco_

I watched Reg until my eyes could no longer make him out in the dark before turning out of the room and heading back down the stairs. Harry was walking into the room at the precise moment that I was. He rushed straight toward me, "Are you okay?" He asked frantically as he wrapped his arms around me. I relaxed into his touch and kissed his cheek, "Yes, I'm fine. They've left. I actually sent him a letter just now."

Harry pulled back and tipped his head to the side slightly, raising an eyebrow. I smiled, "Don't worry. I just said I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Mum's more than welcome to come by whenever she wants, but I told dad I had no need for him until he could accept things as they are."

"You what?" Harry whispered in shock.

I nodded slowly, knowing he had heard me but was merely in disbelief. He hugged me close again, "I'm so proud of you for standing up to him."

I pulled back only enough to kiss his forehead, "You gave me the strength I needed. Now all I have to do is go out there and apologize to our friends and family."

Harry shook his head, "No, you don't have to."

"Yes, I do. They need to know I don't condone what he said."

"They already do. There's no need to explain yourself to them. They all know you now. It is not your job to apologize for your father's cruelty. You shouldn't have to clean up his mistakes," Harry explained as he fixed my hair that had gotten ruffled from my tumble onto the couch.

I hummed in thought and fixed his bow tie that had gotten slightly askew, "I suppose you have a point. What do I do though? Just head out there and pretend like nothing happened?"

"Essentially, yes. Why don't we go out together, would that make it easier?"

I nodded slowly and took his hand in mine. He lead the way back outside. To my immense relief, nobody noticed our reentry into the yard. Everyone appeared too busy enjoying each other's company and the music to care about anything else. Harry glanced at me, "Not so bad, is it?"

"No. But I think I want to just sit a while. You go have fun," I squeezed his hand momentarily before letting him go. He seemed to hesitate briefly, but finally stepped away and made a beeline for a rather giggly Minerva McGonagall. I smiled to myself as I sat down at my seat at our table. Minerva had swooped Harry into a hug he had not expected. It was entertaining to see all of our friends and families in varying states of inebriation. Hermione was perhaps the most comical with her ridiculous muggle moves on the dance floor. I watched the crowd quietly, sipping absently at a small glass of wine. It didn't take long to feel like an outsider looking in. I wondered if I ever would feel totally a part of this community, the witches and wizards who had always been on the right side of history. Harry's friends and family that he loved so dearly. Would they ever be able to see me as one of their own? At times I felt the taste of inclusion on the tip of my tongue, but in moments like these the gap seemed as wide as ever.

Harry seemed to quickly distract and forget about my absence from the crowd. I didn't mind. I knew he was just busy enjoying himself. But I was beginning to feel somewhat lonely. I wanted everyone to go home so that I could spend time with my husband. Just as I was starting to get a bit disgruntled the music cut itself off abruptly and Ron's voice carried over the crowd loudly, "Oi, shut it for a moment, would yeh?" Everyone settled down and turned to see what Ron had to say. He stood in the midst of the yard and shouted, "I'd like to dedicate this song to the groom. The only man I would ever, and I mean ever, dance with." Everyone started to laugh and look to Harry who was blushing slightly from the alcohol. But to everyone's surprise, let alone my own, Ron turned away from Harry and walked instead to my empty table.

The music began to play and I couldn't help but smile and shake my head.

"No, no, no running away, we have to," Ron insisted, holding his hand out to me.

I rolled my eyes and finished the last of my wine before taking his hand and letting him pull me to my feet. Only Harry and Hermione were able to piece it together. The two of them were snickering to each other as Ron lead me onto the dance floor just as the chorus struck. He abruptly spun me about, making me burst with laughter as he tossed me about terribly. We drunkenly meandered across the floor as the muggle borns sang along with each other very loudly, "Sweet Caroline," a group of them would start for another group to sing, "BUM BUM BUM!" obnoxiously in reply. A brief glance about proved that the majority of our friends were extremely confused, though everyone wore a smile on their face. It had to be a ludicrous sight. Two wizards, former enemies, both purebloods, dancing to a muggle song.

When our moment had ended and attentions shifted to Hagrid singing his own rendition of the song in his thick Scottish accent, I couldn't help but ask Ron why he had bothered to do such a thing with me. It seemed quite unlike him. He simply shrugged, "I noticed you were moping in the corner and I figured nobody should be moping on their wedding day. So I thought I would do what I could to make you laugh."

I was genuinely surprised, "Well look at that, Weasley, you actually have half a mind."

"Yeah, yeah, Malfoy, don't make me regret being kind to you," He laughed as Harry came over. He bid us farewell and returned to Hermione's side, who had returned to dancing like an idiot by herself.

Harry smiled gently, "Hey there, Caroline."

"Oh, shut up," I rolled my eyes and pretended to walk away from him.

He grabbed my wrist gently and pulled me back toward him, "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't notice you weren't feeling good over there. I should have been paying better attention."

"You were having fun, you can't be blamed for that."

"Perhaps not, but this isn't just my day. Your happiness is just as important as mine. How about I make it up to you?"

I sighed softly. A small part of me had been a little bitter that he hadn't noticed. He knew this, despite the front I put on. He always seemed to know. So I relented, "Okay. How do you propose to make it up to me?"

"I'll give you whatever you want, right here and right now. You just name it."

"What if I ask for a dragon?"

"I'll bet you a galleon Hagrid's got one in his pocket, shouldn't be hard to get you one."

I snickered, knowing he was right. I bit at my lip as I tried to think of exactly what I wanted in that very moment. I looked around at our friends and family that had been with us for the vast majority of the day thus far. I glanced back at Harry and murmured, "I honestly just want everyone to go home so that we can get in bed already."

He didn't hesitate. He turned to the crowd and shouted above the din that it was time for everyone to head home. He waved off any complaints and insisted, seeing to it personally that everyone got to their port key and the fireplace. He escorted each and every last guest until he had cleared the whole yard. I watched in amusement and said my goodbyes as people headed inside. As he went about clearing out the guests, I cleaned up the yard until it was back to normal: plain, boring grass and nothing else. I absently thought of planting a garden sometime soon while I waited for Harry to reappear. The last of the guests disappeared into the house and a few minutes passed before Harry peaked his head out the back door, already missing his shirt, "Are you coming or what?"

My cheeks flushed slightly as I ran toward the back door, undoing my tie as I went. I headed in and followed him upstairs, stripping our clothes off as we went up to our bedroom. By the time we fell into bed, however, we realized just how tired our bodies already were from the long day. The bed seemed to melt underneath us. We shared a look and laughed. The minute we had laid down, the thought of consummating the marriage had gone out the window. "Would you mind if we just slept all night instead?" Harry asked shyly. I immediately agreed and pulled him into my arms. We were both asleep in ten minutes flat.

 _The End...ish_

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 _A/N: The sequel has been published and is titled Legacies and Legends! If you've gotten this far, I just want to say THANK YOU. I see you, I appreciate you._


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